Dec 19, 2025
Svetlana: bitch you’re really secretive about fucking someone named Jane in Montreal and you get really fucking weird when I mention Shane Hollander…… I’m not stupid.
Hayden: have fun with Boston Lily 😃
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Svetlana: bitch you’re really secretive about fucking someone named Jane in Montreal and you get really fucking weird when I mention Shane Hollander…… I’m not stupid.
Hayden: have fun with Boston Lily 😃
yknow it’s really a good thing that Shane came up with the plan for them to be together cuz if it were left up to Ilya to decide what to do i think he would’ve gotten manic abt it and tweeted a picture of Shane sleeping in bed with Ilya with the caption “please respect his decision.” and then thrown his phone in the lake by the cottage
“there can’t be this much to say about heated rivalry” there’s cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see
Shane doesn’t allow himself to indulge in bdsm research because he heard the phrase 24/7 sub lifestyle one time ☝️ and thinks about it everyday to the point of tears so he really can’t for his own good know anything more about it
After they get married Shane gets a small 81 tattoo on his ring finger and Ilya is like well I wanna match. So he gets a HOLLANDER 24 tramp stamp. Aaaaaaand post.
Hayden: I’m not homophobic I’m literally friends with Gay Shane
Ilya: Human Shane. His name is Human Shane. God. You have so much to learn Bicurious Hayden.
Bicurious Hayden: wha- HEY?
Hayden starts seeing tweets making fun of the your Best Friends Boyfriend trope and how your Best Friends Boyfriend isn’t even really a person just an object that you hate and he cries actual real tears of relief because he thought he was just kinda homophobic this whole time but in reality he’s just being a normal best friend
“Hollanov Yuri” obviously on principle I support this with a sincere and enthusiastic heart but in that sincereness I do have to admit that I think the specific trials and tribulations of a lesbian situationship would drive Shane Hollander to the brink. It would kill him. Ilya was born to be the crazy bisexual girl you fuck around with in your early 20s that’s in love with you but also actively trying to ruin your life, so being a woman would only enhance his power.