#htp shenanigans

[askyancy]

Heeey

Heeey it’s crimis again! Youses is swingin by on de 20th right?  hey we’s got  some great stuff for youses! We’s all been makin crimbuses songs! Me too! ehe Mine aint dat good ya know but uh... I’ma be singin fer some o de others! So uh.. youses gotta swing by n hear! we’s also made chrimbleton cards in craft class! Deys even let Spahrkles have extra glittuh n sequins!! 

youses come by soon! Miss youses!

[askyancy]

Hey, uh, Yancy? Or whomever has this phone at this exact moment? Yes hi uh, quick question; Why is BamBam trending on twitter and what did they do???

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

ok so.. funny story.. 

ya know how phone have cameras and uh

youse know how I gots dat Tictac account? 

er

Deys did a real funny video and den uh now deir music is trendin and well.. 

Now deys in solitary and Im sapposed ta be hidin de phone so uh... 

Funny story...

[askyancy]

hey Yancy! sorry it's been a while since my last ask.. someone took my phone and it's been a pain getting a new one.. they were either a demon or a cosplayer and i'm not sure which i prefer it to have been.

Heeey das no problem! Been kinda sketchy tryna keep my phone from de guards as well ya know?  How youse doin, uh? Anyt’in new ta share?  Any stories?  OH! I actually got one fer youse! 

So we’s was just hangin out ya know down in de cafeteria we’s just hangin’, chillin’ eatin meatballs n sketti we’s look over, Jimmy de Pickle’s suckin up sketti t’rough a goddamn STRAW

We’s sittin dere like ...dude.. youse good?  Big guy just smiles at us and carries on like it aint no big t’ing!

Sketti..t’rough a straw! 

just shlrupin em up like woyurms! Real bizarre

Hey youse comin by fer Easter!? Youse bring me one o dem choccy eggies yeah!? De ones wid dem jelly beans inside! Or like.. just a big ole bag o jelly beans! 

De kinds ya can huck at someone’s stupid big head and knock deir stupid glasses off, ya know what I’m sayin?

[askyancy]

I'll bring you some Easter chocolate for sure! my family always gets me some and forgets i can't eat it so i'm happy this years can go to someone who will! And Is Pickle ok? like, i feel like that might be dangerous to an extent. funny, tbh, but still.

Ah deys fineee ain’t no worry. Dey’s just Pickle ya know?  and t’anks! Youse see any o dem uhhh lint? lint bunnies... Dem gold ones wid de lil red ribbon? Youse get us like.. 15 o dose? fer everyone o course! 

De gangs been talkin about dem, so it’d be nice to get some smugg- er.. gifted... in

[askyancy]

ooo Cheetos!! I'll just be off to the side here. it's so good to see you again! can't wait to see whatcha got for us!

Yancy gives a wave, caught up by someone else coming in, but he’ll see Hawk later.  As Hawk passes through the prison to the stage area outside, Warden Murder-Slaughter raises an eyebrow watching them pass.  Wait a second....... Isnt that-.... hmm....  “Free”  “Yeah boss?” “Keep an eye on that one. I need to look something up real quick” Officer Free gives a serious nod and proceeds to shift into serious officer on duty mode and not take his eyes off of Hawk. 

[askyancy]

god fuckin damn it BB, why'd ya do that to me? they aint gonna accept a "i told BB not to do it" y'know... Annnyyyways, aside from our imminent doom via Tiny, how long was the Warden "socially distanced" in his office for lol?

ahahahahaha

oh ok ok ok ok ok no I gotta alright sit your cutie patootie down right now REST OF YOU TOO  story time with bambam ok

AHEHEHERMMM~

Ok so, we had a couple of cases here at the prison, guests coming in asymptomatic and a few guards bringing it in, not their fault, but it happens. So they called a lockdown protocol and then theres now sanitzer stations in every hallway, those ones you stick your hand under and they jizz gel on your hand with motion sensors. 

Then they handed us all masks and have tons of em in the medical wing. and then social distance messhall... Ridiculous. 3 people per table, scheduled dinners. some of us have had to shift our sleeping schedules so we dont starve.  Then there’s the stupid fucking cell distancing.  Cells are 12ft by 12ft so that half a cell in space. then we’ve got beds and toilet and tables in the way.  So lets put this in perspective ok ok ok So I have to stay 6ft from Sparkles at all times, they have to stay 6ft from me But lets say I was just at the table, now I’ve touched the table and they gotta stay 6ft away from that, Sparkles was on the bed so I have to stay 6ft from the bed I need to wash my hands so I need to cross by the bed to get to the sink. So I cant go by the bed I have to take the long way around, but Sparkles is there, so I gotta press right up against the bars and shuffle by while Sparkles shuffles by the other way... You see the problem. So naturally we’ve started to do this ... EVERYWHERE.  Right now Sparkles and I are on opposite sides of the theatre hall and have been learning sign language to continue to communicate. We’re doin’ pretty good! 

SO! Warden’s office! We’ve been social distance shaming the guards right? So anytime we need to be cuffed its all 6feet officer! you cant hold me you gotta stay six feet! AKAWOK hahaha So we get all fussy with it, or well I did, and then we get called to the Warden’s office cos he saw us “resisting”  So we’re brought in, told to sit, refuse to sit, dunno who’s been in the chair yknow? plus its only 5 feet from the desk which the Warden’s at all day.  So I go and stand against the wall. Warden’s like whatever, but then he starts to rant and tell me off blah blah stop being silly No sir, taking it very seriously sir!  He starts to pace around the room, so I scoot along the walls to stay exaaactly 6 feet away.  He starts to chase me around so I end up going UNDER his desk he gets irritated and follows me under, and now I’ve got him doing ridiculous shit while he’s following me around the room.  eventually he catches on yells at me to keep still so I do, he comes over, I move next thing I know I’m in solitary for an hour. Worth it. 

[askyancy]

Yknow ticklin you wouldnt be so bad. Even if ya get me back it'd definitely be worth it to see your adorable smile and laugh >:)

wh- ah- I aint ticklish! so youse’d have a hard time tryin! ehe-..heh... uh- please dont tickle me-.. Tiny locked me ina  headlock once while Bambam tickled me until I told em where I kept my candy stash.... It was awful... 

[askyancy]

Hey Yancy! Sorry i haven't talked much, been kinda crazy, y'know? How've you and the gang been holdin up?

Bambam: Heeeeeey hows it goin! Big dogs doin his bit for rehearsals right now and left his phone on the floor, fuckin numbskull. Warden’s been after this thing for weeks and he just oop im up better leave my phone where EVERYONE can see it! 

psh

HEEEY HOW YA BEEN, BIRDY! Throw any rocks at anyone lately? There’s a rock right here want me to toss it at Tiny for old times sake!?  Hey did you get your gift!? I had Evan send you somethin’ Should have gotten to you by now?  Frosty too! 

Oh also hey look!

they let us wear costumes now!

well we have to wear snazzy prison bracelets just in case but our theatre stuff rocks now!