Geralt the Giant Pt. 1
New Witcher AU where Witchers are Giants and hella badass and more reclusive than usual so not everyone knows they even exist.
Summary: Jaskier, new out of bard college and without a muse, goes wandering the continent and hears tale of Giant monster slayers. He doesn't believe it, until one night when he's nearly killed by one himself.
AO3 Link here
It all started when Jaskier was down on his luck in a charming backwater town called Posada. The lovely people of this tavern didn’t seem to appreciate Jaskier’s wonderful lyrics about abortions. Arguably, the words themselves were clever enough, but the content was admittedly dry. It wasn’t the bard’s fault- while studying at Oxenfurt, Jaskier learned how to play just about every instrument in existence with a focus on the lute, and also could identify any musical note with his pitch perfect hearing. But figuring out what to write about in his songs? Well, that’s the very reason why the academy sent bards off to discover their muse, and so far all Jaskier had discovered were muddy roads and piss poor ale. Hardly masterpiece quality.
But as Jaskier was shoveling bread into his trousers (a bribe from angry patrons who threw it at the stage in hopes of shutting him up), Jaskier’s perfect ears happened to overhear a conversation of note happening at the bar.
“A giant, you say?” Jaskier butted into the conversation, ignoring the irritated glares both parties sent in his direction. “He sounds quite intriguing.”
“Leave the fantasies in stories, bard.” The man who was sitting there and started the tale spat. “This giant is no man. It’s a beast, over a 100 storeys tall, destroying everything in its path-”
“Goodness, 100 storeys? Really?” Jaskier had already whipped out his songbook and was jotting this down. “Did you measure it yourself, then? Or am I not the only one guilty of a bit of exaggeration around here?”
“Why’s it matter how tall the thing is?” The barkeep scrubbed angrily at a sticky spot on his wooden shelf. “A giant’s a giant.”
“Yes, well, I’ve considered many a bed partner a giant of a man, but it seems you’re dealing with another realm entirely.” Jaskier rested the quill against his mouth. “I just want to make this clear when I write the tale. Is the fellow the sort where I’d feel like a child standing up to his hip, or the more fabled kind where I’m lucky to be spotted next to his boot? I say, does he wear clothes at all? Or is there a giant nudist in our midst terrorizing wives and children-”
The patron, clearly having had enough of Jaskier’s ramblings, slammed his beer down on the table. “This isn’t a joke!” The man yelled, silencing the bard and half the guests with his outburst.
“Oi.” The barkeep paused his work, giving the patron a glare. “Take it outside if you’re gonna get rough.”
The patron grumbled, but sat back in his seat, this time addressing Jaskier with a normal gruff tone. “This thing could level a village without even realizing it. All of Wakefield had to evacuate a fortnight ago when we saw the beast on our borders, half the fields trampled and our livestock so spooked they'd stopped producing.
“A monster had been picking off our hunters one by one, the men who came back swore they saw a tree come to life, some sort of forest spirit pissed off we were in its lands, they said. It commanded the birds and the wolves, sent brave men cowering back with tails ‘tween their legs, it did. There were some who wanted to leave then, but those were our homes, we weren’t about to leave because of some ol’ spirit.
“And then, one day, things took a turn fer’ the worse. The giant showed up, got into a fist fight with the spirit. It tore that monster limb from limb it did, leaving parts of it scattered at the town edge. The hunting parties that had been out in the woods that day never returned, torn or trampled just like that spirit.”
The man’s eyes had sunken, looking like a soldier who had returned from war when none of his comrades had. “By then, with the previous torment of the spirit, we were picked clean.” He murmured. “The few of us left figured it was safer to leave with our lives than piss off a creature so mighty the ground shook as it walked. I stared in the face of death that day, and could feel those soulless yellow eyes peering into ‘me soul all the way to Posada.”
The man shook his head, slowly but surely nursing his drink. His tale was done, and he wasn’t eager to tell it again.
Jaskier, unfortunately, had never been sensitive nor subtle. “...but it killed the spirit, right?” Already he could feel the inspiration brimming under the surface, a tale of a tragic guardian angel gone wrong.
“And our men.” He said through gritted teeth. “Or did their lives mean so little you’ve forgotten them already?”
“Well, to be fair, I didn’t know them personally- Woah!” Jaskier hastily took a step back as the man got to his feet, shoving the chair back and advancing steadily on Jaskier. “I- that is to say, I’m sorry for your loss? Look, all I was saying is that if there was no witnesses, it’s still entirely possible that nasty spirit did them off, which suffice to say would make you at least a little grateful to the-”
This is as much as Jaskier got before the man had grabbed him by the collar, pulling him up to meet his snarling expression. “Oi! Outside!” The barkeep ordered, shuffling them both out the door. The man refused to release Jaskier on the way out, causing the bard to stumble along until they reached fresh air. Jaskier had only a moment to appreciate the sunlight before a fist was painfully colliding with his face.
“Okay, ow.” Jaskier grimaced, blinking back spots as he was shoved to the ground. He rubbed at his jaw, looking up at his tormentor. “Some parties would argue that was a bit harsh.”
Jaskier was never known for keeping his tongue, and here it once again proved to bite him in the ass as the man reared back and kicked him in the gut. Jaskier doubled over in pain, clutching his stomach to cradle the sensitive organs for a few minutes before the throbbing subsided. When finally Jaskier dared to uncurl, the man had disappeared, likely inside for another drink.
“I think that went rather well.” Jaskier breathed, voice still a bit wheezy from the light beating. The bard stood up slowly, dusting himself off to maintain his beautiful silken trousers, even if the blue color had already faded from weeks of travel.
“Well, where to next?” Jaskier thought to himself, adjusting his lute on his back. “Can’t go back in there, oh no, I doubt they’d want to be graced with my presence anymore anyways.” Jaskier sighed, turning instead to the road out of town and already longing for a comfortable bed. “Hmm, let’s see, shall we venture North this time around? I hear Lyria is lovely this time of year.”
When one only needs to convince themselves, the choice of destination can be an easy one. Jaskier set off with all his worldly travel possessions, the coin pouch still dangerously low. If Jaskier had any survivalist skills, perhaps he could save a bit of coin catching a rabbit here and there for a meal instead of spending a hefty sum on rations when the market allowed. Instead, Jaskier had to contend himself with a few handfuls of mostly innocent berries and occasionally going hungry when left to his own devices.
“Oh, what shall we do with the drunken sailor~” Jaskier traveled with a tune this fine afternoon, amusing himself with a few vocal warm ups. What town was north, anyhow? Jaskier rarely bothered with maps, choosing instead to trust where the road took him. It only grew uncomfortable when towns were several days' travel apart, as Jaskier was not fond of sleeping out in the wilderness. The unfortunate night when a squirrel had crawled inside his bedroll with him was enough of a fright for the novelty of sleeping under the stars to wear off.
As the sun drew lower in the sky, it seemed tonight would be one of those unfortunate nights. Jaskier sighed, resigning himself to set up camp. Jaskier decided against a campfire, deeming it too much effort on a night when the air was already warm enough. Instead Jaskier just scoped out a spot by a tree still within sight of the road, hoping the well trodden path would ward off natural predators but the tree cover would provide assistance against becoming a target for highway robbers in the dead of night. Not that Jaskier had much of value on his person but he imagined it wouldn’t be pleasant to wake up to being frisked with a knife to his throat.
When a suitable spot had been found (or a spot as good as he would get before he lost all daylight), Jaskier laid out his bedroll. He oiled the strings of his lute, making sure the instrument was well cared for after a day of heavy use in the tavern. When his most precious possession was set aside for the night Jaskier finally tucked in, ready for a well-earned rest.
Thump.
Jaskier paused, for a moment certain he was imagining the faint tremor he felt through the forest floor. Just as Jaskier wrote it off as a figment of his active imagination, it happened again. And again.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Jaskier sat up, clutching the fabric of his bedroll to his chest as the thumping only seemed to increase in intensity, now joined in tandem with the sound of shaking branches and creaking tree trunks as if the forest were being forced apart by something absolutely massive.
Quickly but quietly Jaskier exited his bedroll, heart pounding in his chest as he clutched his lute. What the devil could that be? Was it coming this way? Jaskier debated the sanity of taking a moment to pack up his bedroll, for it had cost a good handful of coin. Would it be better to try and hide, or run like a hellhound was at his heels? Before Jaskier could make up his mind, a massive form suddenly came crashing through the branches from above, falling quickly towards where Jaskier’s bedroll still lay. On instinct the bard let out a distinctly unmanly scream, scrambling further towards the tree trunk he was hunkered against to avoid being crushed.
At the sound of Jaskier’s scream- his very loud scream, curse his amazing lungs for always drawing attention to himself- the form in the sky stumbled, snapping more tree limbs like twigs as it finished crashing into the earth not even a full body length in front of Jaskier. The break in the forest canopy allowed a little moonlight to shine through, and Jaskier began to make out the shape of the intruding object which connected up to something far, far above him that couldn’t be spotted.
A boot. Jaskier had nearly been crushed by a gigantic boot, and it was only then that Jaskier remembered Wakefield was the closest form of civilization close to Posada. This was the giant that may or may not have torn greater men limb from limb, definitely tore a gigantic tree entity limb from limb, and terrorized a surviving population into leaving the only home they had ever known.
“...Fuck.”
Jaskier flinched, startled as a deep voice came rumbling down from above. Though it was all encompassing in its intensity, Jaskier got the distinct feeling that it was meant as no more than a murmur. The bard’s breath hitched in his surprise.
“You can talk?!” Jaskier’s head whipped up to try and face the intruder, scrambling to his feet to get a better view without his trusty tree blocking out the light. In the night sky, the giant was little more than a terrifying, looming shadow blocking out the stars. Far above, a pair of yellow, glowing eyes focused directly on Jaskier, pinning the bard with their gaze and leaving the human feeling even smaller than usual.
“I- sorry.” Jaskier continued, realizing that with a wince what he had exclaimed was quite rude, and offending a giant would not bode well. “It’s just that- well I’ve never met one of your kind before.” Jaskier raised his voice while continuing to ramble, watching as the giant began to lean closer. Not exactly ideal but maybe the giant was simply hard of hearing? Jaskier tried to stay in a positive line of thinking and less on the line of him being torn apart as soon as giant fangs got within bard-biting distance. If it- he- really did have fangs at all.
To be at the foot of such a massive individual reminded Jaskier of what it must feel like to humble oneself before the goddess of Death, pathetically lacking in your final moments as you were judged by an almighty being greater than yourself. To put it lightly, the sight was as awe-inspiring as it was terrifying, especially when Jaskier realized he had been frighteningly close to meeting Death tonight himself. This giant was like a living mountain, experiencing a world far larger than Jaskier’s own and one in which Jaskier’s continued existence was inconsequential.
“-rumored to have a bit of fae blood on my mother’s side myself.” Jaskier found he had continued to ramble without any awareness of what he was saying. “What was I talking about? Oh yes, I’m not racist- woah!” Unprepared for the giant’s shifting, Jaskier was startled by the sudden quaking of the earth and promptly stumbled onto his ass. What had been nothing but an adjustment of the giant’s footing had thrown Jaskier’s balance off completely.
“Sorry.” The giant apologized, saying his second word of the night. While the giant ominous stranger chose his words wisely, Jaskier had already spewed several thousand. Not too out of proportion for most conversations Jaskier held, actually. His previous roommates claimed Jaskier was just a fan of his own voice, and well this was not entirely the cause of Jaskier’s never ending dialogue he didn’t deny the melodious quality of his own vocal cords.
“It’s quite alright!” Jaskier hurried to assure him, standing up and once again patting at his clothes to dust them off, more out of habit than necessity. “Not my first tumble, no harm done to the bard, not tonight, no sir.” Jaskier’s tumble had also been caused by his own shaky legs, still quivering a bit as Jaskier forced himself to remain standing.
The giant hmm’d, those golden eyes tracking Jaskier intently. The bard got the distinct impression that the giant could see the bard a lot more clearly than Jaskier could see him in the low night light, like a predator stalking its prey. “You’re not hurt?”
Jaskier shook his head in confirmation. “Nope, fit as a fiddle. A lute, if one were to be more accurate, though it doesn’t roll quite off the tongue, does it? Bit of a nasty fright you gave me there in the beginning, quite a first impression.” Jaskier gave an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his head. “And here I was, poking fun at a man in the tavern a way’s back for telling tall tales! Really tall tales, mind you. Are you really 100 storeys tall? Sorry, that’s probably rude. I’ll go first, I’m 6 foot, though my lithe figure makes it hard for others to tell. I doubt you have the same struggles, oh mighty mountain man.”
“Hmm.” The giant ignored Jaskier’s question, if there even was one in that linguistic mess. (Jaskier himself wasn’t sure; in desperate times, the bard’s tongue tripped over itself.) “Stay near the road. Light a fire next time.”
“I- yes, that is- sound advice, right there.” Jaskier saluted, in no position to disagree with anything the giant told him to do. With a nod in his direction, the giant began to move. The shadowy figure blocked out the stars once more, causing Jaskier to flinch as he was briefly cast in darkness as the giant picked up a leg to set it down, what, miles from here? Jaskier quickly crouched down, avoiding the boot in front of him as it lifted as well. The boot’s journey up was slow and meticulous, as if the giant were being extraordinarily careful as he lifted his foot from the grove, but Jaskier put his arms up to protect his neck regardless as stray twigs were inevitably tumbling down where the giant’s foot dislodged them from the canopy.
A few moments later, Jaskier’s racing heart began to calm, no longer feeling as though he was immediately going to get squashed into a bardly pulp. Jaskier could scarcely feel the rumblings in the distance, the only evidence left of the giant’s intrusion was a wider hole in the tree branches and the scuffed up large patch of dirt left behind by the boot print. Jaskier panted, pressing his hand to his chest as he fought to process all that had happened in the last, most exciting minute of his short life. “What the fuck just happened?”