humans are space orks: sleeping with stuffed animals
first of all, I just noticed how werid that name is. Like, youre making it sound like humans enjoy sleeping with dead stuffed animal carcasses. Second, here's how that conversation would go:
Alien: "What is this?" Picks up medium sized purple monkey toy. Squish, squish.
Human: Looks over. "What are you
Human: "Oh my gods give that back right now."
Alien: Confused as the toy is snatched away, trying to reach for it. "But what is it though??"
Human: "It's- it's nothing! S' just Angel. Don't touch her."
Alien: " ' Her? ' "
Alien: "... It looks like a male to me."
Human: "WELL, IT'S NOT. SHE. SHE'S NOT. ahem. I keep Angel next to my pillow at night while I sleep."
Alien: "Why...?"
Human: "For comfort and protection."
Alien: "Oh, can it engage in combat?"
Human: "Of course not."
Alien: "Does she alert you of intruders?"
Human: "No. She doesn't even have a voice box."
Alien: "... Then how could it possibly bring you comfort and protection?"
Human: "By sitting there? Like, duh."