#human reputation

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

HFY Short Story- Strategic Buffer Zone

The Khrizican’s are notoriously trigger-happy. Their military presses out from Empire space constantly. Almost as soon as they capture a new system they will claim all the systems on its borders as contested. They send us a new map of what they claim as their empire every week. They often even claim systems they haven’t yet declared war on to be a part of their territory.

And yet, that small group of systems has remained, an obvious pockmark in their otherwise perfect whole, since the start of their expansion.

There is a hole in the great Khrizican empire and no one knows why.

[thirdsmartestspecies]

HFY- Short Story

In which some humans risk their lives to save a planet, and only ask for a six pack in return. (From Reddit)

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

HFY Short Story- The Storytellers

Don't worry, my alien friends. I know that your translators are struggling to keep up. That the very word itself, story, has no counterpart in your own languages. That the very concept is impossible to grasp for you, in its unique humanness.

A story is not, as your devices would tell you, an account. A chronicle of past events. Nor it is a lie, a deception. No... a good story, those that inspire us... those that entrance us... is all those things, and none at the same time. A story walks in the narrow edge between reality and fantasy, telling not only what happened but also what could happen, and what never did.

After making contact with an alien race, some explanations of our customs are required. The first story humanity shares is our own.

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

HFY Short Story- Hazard Pay

Your research facility of questionable legality stop checking in? Military cruiser that's been missing for a decade suddenly drop out of hyperspace? Maybe that colony you just set up says they dug up some alien artifact and have started sending you really weird mail.

You want the mundane explanation, but you already know what's happened. Bad Stuff.

In which humans make a career out of willingly engaging the Bad Stuff like a white person in a horror movie. Today, the Bad Stuff is the Eternal Flesh and its crusade to spread among the stars.

And to think they would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for that meddling human.

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

HFY Short Story- World War Xen

The task force arrived within a week of our request, a swift response, and we took this as a sign of hope.

They took one look at our home world, at live infected subjects wandering the streets, screaming out for blood and [untranslatable], at infected mercenaries of a dozen species, and they declared it all lost. There was an immediate blockade, a quarantine, and the Council’s initial promises turned to empty rhetoric. Of course they would help, in time, when this was more understood, they explained. It was unethical to ask other species to fight such an enemy, to risk contamination by a disease which had been shown to cross the species barrier with inexplicable ease, and which could be spread with as little as a bite or scratch. They took their armoured shock troops, their carriers and their aid, and they used it all to lock us into what was now our prison. All this to watch us die, and of course to save themselves.

I couldn’t blame them. Not really, even if I raged at the time. Who would come to fight such madness, to risk being turned into a mindless dead thing, to perhaps even be forced to kill others who had been turned before them? Not I, nor any I knew.

In which some humans risk their lives to save a planet, and only ask for a six pack in return.

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

HFY Short Story- This is Why No One Plays With Humans

Dave picked up on the game surprisingly quickly. He was dealt a few planet tiles and a small merchant navy to begin with. He was rather pleased with the mediocre planets he was dealt. No one could understand why, all he had was one habitable planet and several barren worlds with only simple resources on them, no Yanderite, no Plascrete deposites, we all felt rather bad crippling the human before he’d begun. A few turns in the human asked a few questions about what armies could build on planets, we humored him and told him the basics, he smiled and continued to plot out his expansions while the rest of us prepared our ambitions. I was still trying to figure out why he was smiling.

In which a human student crushes three hundred years of game strategy and technique with a smile on his face. 

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

HFY Short Story- Their Greatest Weapon

In which humanity shares the best way to destroy your enemies.

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

Humanity in Space

hfy- Stands for Humanity Fuck Yeah. General humans in space stuff. New tag, may not include older posts yet but I’m working on it

Space Australia- Posts that are about Earth being the Australia of Galaxy. Meaning, posts that refer to Earth as a terrifying ball of death and danger.  Usually accompanied by humans being pretty chill about it. (Basically the same thing as Death World)

Death World- Posts about humans being chill about deadly weather and dangerous creatures while aliens panic. Based off the idea that “you don’t know you’re from a death world until you leave it” (Basically the same thing as Space Australia) 

Space Orcs- Posts about how humans are like the Terminators/Reavers of the universe. Sometimes we are considered big and ugly, but in these posts we are always the toughest thing in the room and impossible to kill.

Humans in Space - General tag about what humanity is like in space. This (probably) covers the  older posts that hfy tag doesn’t.

Human Reputation- What it says on the tin. Posts about the reputation humanity earns among the stars. Sometimes we’re like the giant cats or dogs of the universe, sometimes we’re the species of mad scientists and MacGyvers. And sometimes we’re just the species that invented bagels. (See Space Orcs, Humans Are Weird, Hold My Beer and Watch This, Bagel Planet, and Rocket Heart)

Humans Are Weird- Posts about what makes humanity stand out compared to all of the other species. This is everything from “humans can throw things” and “humans can see the color blue” to “humans will bond with a fucking rock if you leave them alone too long” and “humans are unafraid of death, God, and dismemberment while in the pursuit of Justice/Freedom/Caffine.”

Human Biology Is Terrifying- Posts that focus on human biology setting us apart from other species. This includes periods, losing teeth, breaking bones, eating everything, prosthetic limbs, organ transplants, and our ability to take punch. All of these posts are basically aliens discovering we drink poison, breathe death, and are made of terror, pain, and nightmares.

Hold My Beer and Watch This- This is the idea that humanity is that guy at the galactic party. You know, the guy who takes his shirt off and tells you to hold his beer while he attempts to jump off the roof, on to the trampoline, and into the pool.

‘Why don’t you just jump into the pool?’ You ask. 

He does not understand the question. 

In these posts we tell other species to hold our stuff while we go try something ridiculous and possibly dangerous. Why? Because we can, it sounds like fun, and we want to see what happens.

Aliens: Meet Human Culture- This is where aliens are introduced to all the interesting parts of human culture. Features aliens not understanding how we could have so many, as well as specific elements, such as horror films, sports, and figures of speech. (See Space Cultures Collide)

Space Cultures Collide- When aspects of alien culture collide with aspects of human culture. (See Aliens: meet Human Culture)

Rocket Heart- A particularly lovely label (which came from here) which describes a person who has amazing adventures does many wonderful things, but also always dies young. The whole “if you burn bright, you’ll burn fast” idea. I’ve also started applying it to the heroic part of humanity who is willing to sacrifice their lives for a stranger, because it just seems to fit.

Bagel Planet- Off-shoot of Human Reputation. These posts feature humanity’s defining feature being something rather mundane. Like being known as the planet that invented bagels. (I also occasionally use this as a general tag for earth related stuff, so it overlaps with Death World and Space Australia)  

Highlights from HFY Reddit- This is where I’m collecting my favorite stories from the hfy thread on Reddit. You can always go through and read them all yourself, its not like I can stop you or anything. I’m just sharing the ones I liked.

Stabby the Space Roomba- It is an ordinary roomba with a knife duct-taped to the top of it. Why you ask? I don’t know, it just sounded cool. Originally came from this post and then grew from there. Often falls under Hold My Beer and Watch This or Humans are Weird. In other news, Stabby is Universal. 

Humans Are Friend Shaped- In this tag, humanity will move heaven and hell to protect their friends. So what they only met 5 minutes ago, friendship is friendship right? Dangerous bloodthirsty beast? I don’t know what you’re talking about, his name is Fluffy and we love him. (There is some overlap with Rocket Heart here) Here is some TV Trope examples. This tag also includes the idea that friendship is humanity’s “thing.” 

In other words, humans make a lot of new friends. From there, either we become the scary mom friend species or another group of aliens becomes the scary mom friend for us.