#death world

[trve-grimdark]

[parrotninja]

So I love the humansarespaceorcs subreddit, really funny, and I came up with a small saying to represent humans accurately

If you're a friend, you'll have a hell of a time.

If you're an enemy, your time will be hell.

I also love the idea that aliens don't visit not because they aren't technologically advanced enough, or that we haven't noticed, but that Earth has been declared a death world where no one wants to go cause of us

[qfantasydragon]

Space Chefs

So I don’t know if anyone’s written about this yet, but I was trawling through the humans-are-space-orcs tag and I was hit by the sudden realization that I’ve seen nothing about space chefs. 

Space chefs must be like one of the most knowledgable professions out there, think about it:

“Alright, so this is a Crexian from Norix- that means capsicum is a deadly poison, Omega-3 will cause muscle spasms and due to the atmosphere on Norix, calcium will give them terrible diarrhea- no wait, this is a male, so Omega-3 is actually delicious--”

“--a Bio-bot, model Gamma-341, so absolutely no organic oils in anything or their systems will stop working, and for Stabby’s sake do not let anything with iron in it so much as look funny at their food--”

“--Mariddian fresh out of hibernation, shove as many protein additives into that meat as you can get away with and remember not to use salt, it fries their neural pathways--”

Like. I bet there’s an Interstellar Chef magazine in circulation full of recipes that are two pages long and then all the species that can and cannot eat it are listed for the next five. And every time a new species joins the intergalactic mess, the magazine runs a special issue as all the space chefs die a little more inside. The special issue gives a brief breakdown of the new species biology and then dives straight into what’s poison, what’s nutritional, what’s considered delicious and whats considered choke-worthy. If at all possible, the special issue also includes recipies from the species native culture while all the space chefs desperately try to figure out what dishes they can jury-rig into a new definition of edible.

They probably love humans though.

“Hey Jaxki, did you hear about the new species that the Crynsu found? They’re supposedly from a Death World, can you belie--”

“Oh fuck another speices?!?! They found three last spin and I’m still trying to figure out what to feed the Hrethad. Any word what they eat? You get the Chef before me.”

“Hold up let me look, I just got it today...void and dust!”

“Oh novas, what, can they not have water or something?”

“Jaxi these fuckers eat everything! They can digest chlorogenic acid! Some of them do it every day, by the void-loving gallon!!! And that’s just the nose of the Quarlag! This thing has a whole list of chemicals these guys consider delicious or edible and I swear to you it’s like someone mixed their list of the universe’s most common compounds with its spacing deadliest poisons!”

“Oh thank FUCK.”

[gothicpunk]

Death World

[bluewanderer0]

All Earth was but one thought — and that was death.

Darkness, by Lord Byron

[justhellacesome]

Humans are space orcs

A contribution..

Humans will eat anything thats consumable and if its not then they make it so. Like sharks and squids and pouisonous fish and animals.

Then theres the aliens, a whole colony of them. That looks alot like chicken/or cow/or pig. But theyre larger and probably sentient but who cares really when they look absolutely appetizing.

The humans and the crew are stuck in a void with no food after days on end and the humans have become desperate and hallucinations have started to eat their minds. Then thwy see their alien crew mates who look so appetizing and familiar and they probably taste great fried and boiled. When everyone has gone to rest, the massacre would then start. The crew wakes up to the smell of food and they were hungry to not question where exactly it came from. In the middle of their meal someone noticed one their crew mates missing and they looked everywhere for xir but they couldn’t find him. The humans began to get suspicions but they didn’t voice it. When food again becomes scarce they started to search for food. The humans wher quiet but the aliens can see the way they would follow their movements like predators stalking theyre prey.

Rest again comes and on alien crew mate wasn’t able to sleep. It was then he hears the whispers and sees the shadows behind the door, he peaks over and shock overcomes him as he sees the human chef and another human dragging one of his alien crew mate. He follows them and listens to their voices. He hears the words fry and chicken and his missing crewmates name. He didn’t get everything that was said not until he end up at the base of the ship where food was stored among other stuff. There he saw the horror of his crewmate being hanged in the ceiling and cut alive. He sees the blood flowing down the floor and the humans surrounding him bowing and apologizing. It was horrifying and then he remembered his missing crew mate and the food he ate that came from out of nowhere and made the connection. He runs bac up to his quarters and starts to remember the eyes that were following him, the whispers that would be passed from a human to another. Then he remembered the lessons he have learned from the academy about the species who lived in the death world of terra and he falls on the ground breathing ragged. Humans were predators and they would do anything to survive even eat their own just to be able to see tomorrow and it was so easy to forget with how they act so... careful and hiding the beast under those smiles and words.

It was the next day and food has again come to the table with another crew mate missing, he couldn’t get himself to come out afraid and disgusted to even consider eating one of his own. The humans have become suspicious of him and they become worried. This was exactly the reason why its so easy to forget, the care and bond the human have made them look like the friends that they have teached him. He couldn’t speak a word of it to the others afraid that he may be the one to be eaten next.

Days and nights has passed and finally reinforcement has finally found them, searching the ship for any survivors only one has been found. The other crew members where either found dead by the door or under the base hanged and suspectedly butchered. Autopsy has also been provided to give evidence of dna left in the crewmates sysytem of the other missing person.

The one who survived was nothing but a shell left, it seemed that he has released poison from his body that killed every other creature on the ship when his room was forcefully opened explaining the corpses on the doorway.

He was aware of the real reason on why huamns have survived and he would probably never be able to get himself to speak the truth of the disaster. But as he has locked himself away from the universe remembering the sight of his crew become eaten one by one then killing themselves as it was discovered. Death world humans have always been survivors and they would always survive last.

—I dont know where this was going but I just winged it...—

[shittyshitposts]