#human sixty

[cerberusdreams]

In honor of @dattebae getting into writing: her trash panda Sixty. 🚩

Go check out her human AU Sixty x Reader fic!

[dumbwaystodeviate]

Pressure had been put on Nines to upgrade his partner for a while now. He resolutely ignored all suggestions that he dump the GV200 model he’d been partnered with for something newer. Usually, he could stubbornly ignore it and get on with his day, not paying attention to anyone singing the praises of the upgrades coming onto the market. Even if some days, Nines was the only thing stopping Gavin from accidentally stapling a folder to his own sleeve while they worked in the Archives Room together.

However, some days fates colluded against Nines and everyone seemed to be on his back about finally ditching the old GV200. It wasn’t a popular model, the line was quickly discontinued and most people upgraded pretty swiftly which meant Gavin was one of the last remaining of his kind in operation. He followed after Nines with insults and sarcasm as well as grumbles about the idiocy of humans. Not like he had a lot of room to talk about being an idiot, but Nines thought that was part of his charm.

It was a rare lunchtime get together for the brothers. They had hauled their android partners along too. Perhaps it was too much to ask for a quiet, happy meal when Connor started up with his usual nagging.

“You should get a new partner Nines, I hear the HK900 is about to hit the market and is an improvement on Hank.” If only he had the manners to talk when his mouth was not full. “I mean, Hank can analyse evidence real time, preconstruct crime scenes with hypotheses that are accurate and halves the time it takes to sort and file documents for cases.”

It only took Sixty the time to swallow his food before he was chipping in. “True. Or look into the LN line at least. I have Allen making sniper shots and going into situations no human would. It’s so handy to have a competent android as a partner.” These were all arguments that Nines had heard before and he was sick and tired of trying to be polite. So he stopped.

“Yeah, but are they cool?”

His brothers stared at him in silence, even Gavin cast him a glance as though he’d grown a second hand.

“What I mean is, sure your partners can do all that but do you actually enjoy working with them? Would you want to spend time with them outside of work? I happen to like Gavin’s company and don’t really want to give that up. Especially not when most nights, Connor, you come home complaining that Hank’s put something disgusting in his mouth, will only play by the rules and has been nagging you to eat and sleep more. That he’s annoying. By the same token, Sixty you are constantly whinging about Allen being out of bounds as a machine, how it’s not fair he was built to hit all your kinks but not have the personality or means to actually be anything more than a dream fodder.”

Silence reigned over the table until Gavin shuffled closer to Nines and shoved his shoulder playfully against his.

“I kind of like spending yime with you too, meatbag,” he grinned. It grew wider when Nines slipped an arm around him with a smile and a soft “I know.”

On the other side of the table, two sets of LEDs were spinning red.

“Do I really annoy you?” Hank’s voice was so quiet, so heartbroken, Connor’s head was whipping to look at him with wide eyes. “It was never my intention.”

Something told Nines that things were going to be changing between them and for the better. All contemplation of that changed when he looked over at Allen and Sixty.

For his part, Allen was leaning back in his chair, arm slung casually over the back and regarding Sixty with a cocked eyebrow. As soon as Sixty dared look at him, he was speaking, “So, you going to buy me a cock attachment or what?”

With a dramatic whine, Sixty flopped onto the table and buried his bright red face in his arms. Muffled, he could barely be heard. “What size did you want?”

“I think eight inches will do just fine to start with,” Allen replied with a smug grin.

Somehow, Nines didn’t think he was going to be nagged about upgrading partners again any time soon and he pulled Gavin closer to his side with a content smile.

[dumbwaystodeviate]

Deviating from being locked in a closet with someone else for too long (because the like them or because they hate them dealers choice)

The SWAT building was an old one and it had many quirks. Like the weird little corridor between the armoury and the kitchen which nobody ever really used because rumour had it, it was haunted. Truth was, it wasn’t haunted but it did have some very dodgy locks as Sixty found out.

He had been trying to drag his android to the kitchen for a quick snack but the door that end of the corridor was jammed. Rushing back to the armoury’s one, that had the lock engage by accident. Sixty stared out of the small window while his LN300 stood by.

“Guns!” Sixty whined as he peered through the window before going to try the kitchen door again. Through the window, he could see the counter. “Cakes!”

He flitted between the two doors, sighing in dramatic desire those two words. Until he got back to the armoury and let out a sad “cakes” while back by the kitchen he cried for guns. All through the theatrics, Allen stood passively, far too used to his captain’s unusual habits.

“Cuns! Gakes!” Sixty wailed in the middle of the corridor.”Gukes and Cans!”

With another drama worthy cry later, Sixty flopped down on the ground, an arm thrown over his eyes.

“It is over for me, Allen, save yourself! We’re abandoned, destined to die here. I give you permission to eat my body so you can keep going for longer.”

“Androids don’t eat,” Allen’s reply was dry and a perfect balance for Sixty’s amateur dramatics.

“Then you may eat my phone, you are what you eat.” The words took a moment to sink in and Sixty pulled his phone out with a chuckled “oh yeah, I could just call someone.”

A scoff drew his attention and Sixty’s eyes narrowed. “It’s not like I see you in all your advanced glory readily calling for help. Did you suddenly go from wi-fi to modem or something?”

Allen blinked, caught out. He should have probably called maintenance or someone to come let them out rather than stand and let Sixty run around, exhausting himself. The “so what’s your excuse” was almost missed.

“Well, it sure as shit is not because I hate spending time with you.” A roundabout and confusing answer but Sixty deserved it for chipping away at his red wall.

“You like me!” Sixty squealed, ignoring the inquisitive “hello” from his phone as whoever it was picked up. Instead, he wrapped Allen in a hug. “I knew you had a soft spot for me.”

“Android chassis are solid and have no soft spots,” Allen informed him but it was more a joke than anything else. He watched as Sixty’s attention finally turned to his phone.

“Yeah, got locked in the tunnel. Come get us out in...” he looked Allen up and down. “Give us 20 minutes, nobody look in the windows if they know what’s good for them.”

Allen could only raise an eyebrow. Twenty minutes? He wondered whether Sixty was hoping for two rounds. Androids were, after all, very efficient beings.

[dumbwaystodeviate]

So, in reverse au, could you do one where allen finds out that sixty has a glass or cybernetic eye and it may or may not have been hanks fault?

Being an android meant there was a certain amount of flexibility in assignment. As an LN300, there was certainly some scope for Allen within law enforcement. Most of the time he was with SWAT and performed as expected. Sometimes though, he was loaned out as he was now, to a dusty corner of the DPD to someone who refused to be called anything but Sixty. There had to be an irony to a human with a number for a name who worked with an android with a human name.

Cold cases were never a lot of fun and Allen thought he could be put to better use than digging through old, mislabelled evidence of 20 year old crimes. However, that’s where the higher-ups wanted him so that was where he went. Allen met Sixty in his office, they shook hands and that was it. They worked in silence for a while, until Sixty got up with a smile.

“I’m popping out for a cigarette,” he informed Allen. “But I’ll be keeping an eye on you.”

As he said it, he put a glass eye on the desk and strolled out, humming. Allen stared at the dark brown eye and turned to watch Sixty retreat out of the room. Deciding to ignore it, he got back to work.

Once Sixty returned, he took the eye off the desk with an entertained “I see you’ve been well behaved in my absence” and settled down while snickering. A scan of his face revealed that his right eye was actually a glass replacement.

It went on like that, Sixty would sometimes squint at some evidence when Allen was sorting through his internal files and seemingly idle. An announcement of “I need to see more clearly” was then followed by some iteration of glass eye cleaning. The first couple of times Allen was surprised but then he just learned to ignore it.

If the bullpen was crowded and Allen struggled to get a good view, Sixty happily popped his eye out and held it aloft, claiming it was periscope vision. The fact that nobody reacted to his antics meant it was an almost regular occurrence.

The jokes continued and sometimes Sixty would pout with a sad “nothing?” when Allen didn’t react. On those occasions, Allen wondered whether he should at least smile at the attempts of levity. Especially when Sixty put a case with an eye on in on his desk with a proud “need a fresh set of eyes on this” while his usual eye was in its place.

To make up for it, Allen went to get him coffee. While the cigarette breaks were frequent, half the time Sixty would make himself a coffee but forget to bring it with him. So Allen took it on himself to get them. It was on one of those trips that he bumped into Hank, an HK800 who had been deviant for a while.

“How are you getting on with Sixty? He hasn’t run you off yet?” Hank asked. There was something uncomfortable about him, as if the mere mention of Sixty hurt even though he was the one who brought him up.

“He is a competent and efficient partner.” Allen replied evenly. “Even if he is overly fond of eye jokes.”

At that, Hank looked guilty and Allen pressed. “What happened to his eye?”

The story was slow to come out, Hank obviously reluctant to share. Sixty had been SWAT, not just a promising member but one of the youngest Captains. He had been good, leading his team into hostage situations and danger without hesitation.

“It was a case,” Hank sighed. “Too dangerous for a human from the DPD to get into but they sent an android. They sent me.”

Everything about Hank screamed regret and Allen offered a curious hand for an interface to better understand. He was bombarded with memories and emotions. Hank, in a situation where he knew he couldn’t save the hostage and himself. The stress culminating in deviation, the terror of it all overwhelming. Allen heard the noise Hank heard behind him as he was hiding, trying to find any way out of the situation. The memory meant he could feel Hank’s finger on the gun, the terror making him turn, spot the looming figure behind him. Hank shot to kill.

The bullet had hit the visor and the figure went down with a curse. Only, it hadn’t been an assailant, it had been Sixty, there to get Hank out. While the bullet had been halted by the visor, it had shattered under the impact at such close range and the pieces had caused enough damage to cost Sixty his eye.

Such an injury cost Sixty his career, he couldn’t go out into the field anymore, couldn’t even be part of SWAT. He was forced to take a sidestep into sorting through the archives and cold cases if he wanted to stay within law enforcement.

The unfairness of it all pushed something through Allen. He was filled with anger at Hank for robbing Sixty of so much, for being responsible. Because Sixty had been brilliant, had so much promise. And it was Hank who took it all from him. Rage simmered through his systems and Allen had to pull himself up short because he wanted to take his anger out on Hank, wanted to avenge Sixty.

“He’s forgiven me, I still haven’t forgiven myself though,” Hank muttered. “I regret it every day.”

Allen pursed his lips and bodily turned away from Hank. Hurting the other android wasn’t going to achieve anything. But he had something better to do now.

Coffee in hand. Allen returned to the dusty back office, appreciating the smile Sixty shot him for the first time. Such a job was probably lonely, to have company, even that of a machine had been preferable than the solitude.

“Have a look at this!” Sixty waved a folder in front of Allen. “Can you see what I’ve spotted?”

Smiling, Allen reached up with his right hand and pressed on his ocular orbit, releasing his own optical unit. Holding it up close to the folder, he made sure to look Sixty in the eye as he flatly said, “I see.” Sixty’s smile was worth it. Two weeks later, Allen was permanently assigned to the archives as his request as a fresh deviant.

[dumbwaystodeviate]

so i have this weird headcanon that since connor is an irish name connor would have a bit of irish tendencies like calling someone a lickarse geebag of shite

Being assigned as Connor’s partner, Hank had grown used to a couple of things. Such as the measured way Connror spoke. It was highly likely that nobody really picked up on it but, as an android, it was painfully obvious how Connor occasionally tasted a word before speaking it.

“I don’t need a babysitter coming to lunch with me,” Connor whined and Hank’s LED blipped yellow as he tried to figure out why the words sounded so odd. However, before he could figure it out, he had ignored Connor’s remark to stay in the car and followed him.

“About time you bloody wanker,” a succinct, British voice called. A man, taller and broader than Connor was leaning over a table.

“Oh shut it you lickarse geebag of shite,” Connor yelled back and Hank blinked. That was not how Connor usually spoke. His voice was the same but it held a soft lilt of...Irish?!

Just as Hank was about to rationalise the words, an identical voice called from behind them.

“Hey cocksuckers, what the fuck is on your tits today?”

It was Connor but with a Texan accent. LED spinning red, Hank could only watch and listen as the three kept up the insults but seemed to be having a friendly conversation as a result. It was too much and Hank gave up on his search for the history of the Stern brothers - he got as far as figuring out they’d been separated, studied in London, Dublin and Houston.

Everything fell apart when Connor squealed “lay off it you feckin’ gobshite!”

Quietly, Hank returned to the car and decided to wait there, processors not quite able to handle it. By the time Connor returned and settled behind the wheel, Hank had mostly collected himself.

“I didn’t think you’d really stay in the car,” he said with his usual, measured voice and accent. Hank just shrugged and didn’t say anything. However, he was downloading an array of accents just to mess with Connor in the future.

[dumbwaystodeviate]

Ok, so Reverse AU, Hank and Allen argue who has the better (and hotter) partner, Connor or Sixty.

It was a regular occurrence in a way. Each time the Anderson brothers got together for lunch, it was always Sixty visiting the other two. Which meant their androids would tag along too and inevitably get into an argument.

“But he sounds so goofy!” Allen whined. “At least Sixty sounds professional.”

“Ah, but Connor has a heart. He’s no cold blooded career climber, he has other interests outside of work.”

“So does Sixty!”

“You do not count!” Hank roared back. “Just admit that Connor is better looking than Sixty and we’ll be fine.”

Off to the side, Gavin was leaning against Nines’ side with a smug grin. He craned his neck to peer up at him. “Should we tell them?”

“Tell them what?” Nines flicked Gavin’s LED fondly.

“That they obviously got the prototype while I got the upgrade. You’re obviously by far the best Anderson of the lot.”

It wasn’t android abilities gave him the feeling of two sets of eyes burning holes in the back of his head. No, it was the way Nines stiffened under him. Slowly, he turned to face Hank and Allen.

“I stand by what I said,” he shrugged defensively. “Nines is the latest edition of the Anderson line. After he was made, they decided they couldn’t do any better so ceased production.”

“I never want to hear you talk about me like that again. I’m a human,” Nines hissed then fixed a cold stare at the other two androids. “You’d do well to remember though, you’re dating identical twins.”

The red cycling of their LEDs continues until Gavin barked out a laugh and looked between them.

“Seriously? That’s what it took? Man, if I’d known, I’d have butted in on your little arguments sooner.” He clapped once as he turned to leave. “Well, I guess welcome to the club.”

Behind him, he heard the hissed tones of disagreement. It seemed that not even deviancy could settle the argument between those two idiots.

[the-wonder-wall]

Thank goodness he'd been keeping up on his workout routine, it was the only reason he was still standing after having caught Willow "I'm glad I've lived up to your high standards" he said without a hint of malice "But a warning would be nice next time you want to jump on me"

In response, Willow grips him tighter, a small giggle escaping their mouth,"Sorry, but you're just so fun to climb! And you got me such a lovely gift! Besides, I'm not so heavy." They teasingly stick their tongue out,"You were able to catch me after all."

[the-wonder-wall]

"You're a lot cuter now that you're eating regularly" Six mentioned casually. Bringing out a paper gift back from behind his back he continued "I saw this and thought you might like it" underneath the bright pink and white tissue paper there was a plush cat holding a stuffed heart that read 'you make my life purrfect'

Willow eagerly unwraps the gift, their eyes sparkling when they see the adorable plushie. Within moments they've lept onto Six, latching onto him with a squeal of pure joy,"I love it! I love it! I love it!" They poke at his cheek," You're pretty purrfect yourself, Sixy."