#hunter jiang

[bastardtrait]

but of course mr. calvin autumn is going to be the tenured professor of the cruising course at f-slur university. who else is it gonna be?

transcript:

CALVIN: …so, cruising 101. First things first: you take your ass down to Pink Pony Club on the beach strip. On the corner. It's where all the guys go. The first three floors are for shaking your ass. The top floor, the lounge? That…is for cruising.

HOWIE: Cruising? CALVIN: Yeah, y'know, picking people up. I'm sure you know how to do that? HOWIE: Well, I dunno…

CALVIN: Trust me. Even if you're not actively doing it, know that you are getting cruised when you get up there. It's like…code. HOWIE: Guys are gonna be checking me out? CALVIN: Well yeah, you're hot, dude. Fuck--you're making me derail! HOWIE: (chuckles) Sorry.

CALVIN: Just get to talking. I know you know how to do that--you're an actor! I'll say though, don't drink too much. you wanna be totally clear and present. Do NOT let someone take advantage of you. HOWIE: I'm sure I can handle-- CALVIN: Nope. No. Don't assume anything. Be prepared instead. And be SAFE, too. I'm sure you're not on PrEP.

[bastardtrait]

calvin retired to the upper level with the interesting stranger. he wasn't australian. he couldn't place him at all, actually; he seemed so unplaceable, which made him all the stranger. he dodged fully answering calvin's questions, like he didn't care to reveal himself. it was frustrating. there was a needling voice in his head that demanded he get to know this mysterious person. see him. feel him. god, what did he have to drink? why was he so desperate...? if nothing else, though, he at least got his name. hunter.

transcript:

CALVIN: …you're cool. I'm Calvin. How about you? ???: Oh, me?

HUNTER: ...call me Hunter.

[bastardtrait]

on the one hand, great job howie. on the other hand AAAUUHGHHH HUNTER

Howie: 3/5+ partners

transcript & link:

Veranda Villa - Hunter's apartment

HOWIE: ...what's that? CALVIN: I'll tell you later. for now? condoms. and…please text me if you go anywhere. Alright? HOWIE: …alright. thanks, Cal.

CALVIN: Heed my advice and all should go well! And I expect you to tell me everything at our next debfrief. HOWIE: Everything?

CALVIN: Yes, everything, jesus Howie. It's like you don't even know what bro code is.

Much later

CALVIN: Hey, there he is. How was it? HOWIE: It was…good, I guess. CALVIN: You guess? HOWIE: Yeah, just kinda wanna lay down though now, sorry Cal.

CALVIN: You okay, Howie? …Howie? [SFX: Door shuts] …okay then…

18+ link to howie's first say gex

[bastardtrait]

transcript:

[SFX: Calvin's phone ringing]

HUNTER: …hm. …Hello.

HOWIE: Fucking hell, Calvin, you finally picked up. Listen to me--where the hell are you right now? Drop everything, I'm coming to see you, and we're going to go over this until everything's fucking fixed, or one of us passes out. Do you understand me? I'm tired of this, Calvin.

HOWIE, over the phone: Calvin? Calvin? (sigh) Come on, man! HUNTER: Wow…you are really fucking annoying.

HOWIE: …who the fuck is this? HUNTER: Got Calvin's phone. He can't come to it right now. He's preoccupied. You're probably Howie, aren't you? HOWIE: Yes, I'm Howie--give the phone to Calvin right now. Please?

HUNTER: Ah, I can't. But…if you hurry, maybe you can get him before he bleeds out. HOWIE: …what?

HOWIE: What? Where the fuck--where the fuck are you? Where's Calvin? [SFX: Beep.] HOWIE: …oh fuck. Calvin…!

[bastardtrait]

...only for him to learn the hard way what happens to people that mildly annoy a dangerous individual.

transcript:

CALVIN: What--Hunter, the fuck are you doing man?! HUNTER: Thinking I'd rather have a drink right now, actually. CALVIN: Fuck are you talking about?!

CALVIN: You're a freak, dude, what the fuck-- HUNTER: Hope you live through this, Calvin. You're pretty cute.

[SFX: Phone ringing…]

VOICEMAIL: Hey, you've reached Calvin. I can't come to the phone right now… HOWIE: (Tsk) Bloody oath, Cal.

CALVIN: Nnnnghh--!

[SFX: Pounding heartbeat] CALVIN: Nn…fuck…

CALVIN: (difficult breathing)

[bastardtrait]

so calvin thought he'd ask hunter to hang out, and he said he was already at the docks, which is weird. but okay i guess. weird bitch.

transcript:

The Docks

[SFX: Light rain sounds…] [SFX: Off-key humming]

(bar name)

[SFX: Light jazz; lively chatter]

HOWIE: …how about a negroni, then? BARTENDER: Coming right up, handsome.

HUNTER: …hmm…hmm… CALVIN: Hunter? I asked what you thought? HUNTER: About the Howie thing? CALVIN: Yeah, the Howie thing, what else would it be about? HUNTER: Oh. I dunno. It sucks I guess.

CALVIN: You are so fucking bad at this, man. HUNTER: You're asking the guy who absolutely rejects relationships like they're a gigantic knife about to kill me. Are you dense? CALVIN: (sighs) Yes, and I ruined my relationship with Howie because of it. HUNTER: Like, so what?

CALVIN: Well, he's my friend, and I ruined what we had? What d'you mean so what? Do you have any actual real friends, man? HUNTER: (shrugs) I came out here with you, didn't I? CALVIN: When you thought we were going to fuck. HUNTER: Which I'm still waiting for. (mutters) Fuckin' out here talking about your feelings and shit.

CALVIN: (sigh) Fuck it. Let's hit the bar, then. HUNTER: Finally, the first good thing you've said all night.

[bastardtrait]

one day Beryl and Di got a visitor and when I saw who it was I just noped on out of there.

Hunter: PLEASE let me in?! I'm hot and agreeable now!

Beryl: to who -- a private room john in the back of a $15 strip club? get the fuck out my face you knockoff cheetah girl.

[bastardtrait]

:~l i went and made hunter hot and for what reason. why.