#hurricane's ghost

[askfirestarterspitfire]

May your 2017 be less “interesting” than this year has been.

[askfirestarterspitfire]

Stream results! Thanks for coming everyone! Patreon sketches for Mortikie, MagusZeal, Swift, and Weiss & Korenav.

Happy Spoopoween! Spitfire sure is spooked, but Soarin's just kinda wondering why he has to be the dog.

[thirtyminuteponies]

Prompt #192: "Help I'm Trapped A Really Houselike Cave" by Hurricane's Ghost

To the Moderators of Thirty Minute Pony Stories,

You may have noticed that the submissions this week from the writer, “Hurricane’s Ghost,” have had a particular theme outside that which was prescribed by your theme week. This was not accidental. In an attempt to increase awareness of the lack of pony pet related prompts, we the P.E.T.S. , who were mentioned briefly in an earlier story this week, despite our express order that we not be mentioned by name, have kidnapped one of your regular writers and forced him to write stories that matched our chosen theme. Yes this sounds a lot like the same story as the CMC one, we don’t know what happened there.

(I didn’t have any other ideas. And writing what you know is easy.)

(Fine…)

Ahem, as I was saying. After this  week of pet related submissions we are sure you are beginning to see the greatness of pet stories. In order to continue this train of thought the stories will continue until prompts we find acceptable are commonplace.

(Wait, what? I don’t know if I can come up with a pet prompt everyday. What if they start taking it as a challenge?)

I’m sure your writing skills are up to the-… Are you writing everything we say?

(Uh… yeah. That’s what you told me to do.)

Then why are you writing what YOU say?

(Well if I don’t then it might confuse the reader.)

Or you could just write the parts that are supposed to go in a letter and stop being difficult.

(In my defense, I am writing this under duress.)

Alright, that’s it. Winona! Give it to him!

(Noo! Not the puppy dog eyes! Not the- Oh, whose a cute little poochie. You are! Yes, you are!)

Right, back to the let-

(Quiet Angel, doggy is making cute face. Whose a good dog? You are, yes you- OW MY EYE! Dang it Angel I need that for seeing things!)

[Uh, guys? Fluttershy just showed up outside looking for you. What do you want me to tell her?]

What? How did she know we were here, Harry?

[Um. She asked if I’d seen you, and I told her yes.]

WE’RE IN HIDING!

[Well, how was I supposed to know that?]

How about the part where we ASKED TO HIDE IN YOUR HOUSE!

[Cave.]

Cave. Ugh, Opal, go take care of talking to Fluttershy

{No, I think I’m comfy. Maybe I’ll take a nap.}

Will you- GARGH. Are you still writing!?

(Um… yes?)

By Fluttershy’s kindness you are stupider than Gummy!

(Uh… dude you really wanna say that? He’s standing right there…)

Does he look upset by me calling him that?

(…I dunno. He’s gnawing on his tail, is that an angry-)

HE DOESN’T CARE. He’s too STUPID to care that I’m degrading his intelligence! That’s another thing why do authors keep making him out to be brilliant, he can’t gather enough focus to blink both eyes at once!

[Uh guys? Fluttershy is still-]

I’M COMING TO DEAL WITH FLUTTERSHY! Winona come with me, the rest of you stay down here. I’ll be right back and we’ll start the letter over. And it will be perfect this time. Starting with Dear So and So and signed,

Sincerely,

The P.E.T.S.

(…Okay he’s gone. Mods, I’m going to try and escape now. Gummy seems to be trying to drag me someplace, I’m gonna follow him. If the constant pet stories continue, please send help.)

{I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to stop you.}

(I’m also sure you’re very comfy Opal and stopping me is more effort than it’s worth.)

{Eh. True enough. Don’t let the secret back exit hit you on the tail on your way out.}

(Alright, I’m outta he- Guh, why am I still writing. I’m sending this off to the mods now okay?)

{Knock yourself out}

(Right. See you guys later

Hurricane’s Ghost)

---

Dear P.E.T.S,

We are fairly certain of a few things. One of which is that P.E.T.S does not actually stand for anything. Another being that you apparently are unaware of one mod who goes by the name "Commander Overlord Supergenius Professor Piggy" who takes great offense to the accusations of Gummy's lack of intelligence. In fact, he has now taken a hostage of his own (Bookman, to be precise) and is threatening to do horrible horrible things to him (like say mean things about his beloved Azusa) if we do not ban any and all prompts about pets other than Gummy from this day onward. I'm sure you understand that the safety of one of our own must take precedence over the supposed safety of one of our duckies.

With apology,

The Mods of TMP

P.S- Thanks to your shenanigans we are forced to have nothing but Gummy prompts for the next three to six weeks. I hope you're happy.

[the-sheeple]

One day, my brain and I are going to sit down and have a chat about what the word "sketch" means, and how pictures like this are not that.

[thirtyminuteponies]

Prompt #168: "Tea Spilled Everywhere" by Hurricane's Ghost

Twilight sipped her tea quietly as she pondered the pony sitting across from her. Seated on her sofa Fluttershy gently stirred her own cup of tea before placing sipping at her own. The get together at Fluttershy’s wasn’t a regular occurrence but Twilight liked to make time to visit all her friends whenever she could.  Every time she visited them she seemed to find out some new interesting facet about them, but whenever she visited Fluttershy she always left with the same question.

“Hey Fluttershy, have you ever thought it’s weird that you’re the element of kindness?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy blinked and looked at her Twilight, confusion evident in her expression.

“I mean,” Twilight explained, “Kindness is a choice you make right?”

Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. “Yes, I think so…”

“But you never seem to choose to do anything that suggest that you have another choice than just kindness. I mean. You’re Fluttershy, you could sooner swallow a thousand needles than ignore an injured bunny. Where’s the choice?”

Then the world blurred and Twilight felt a rush of movement and the world spun around her. She noted a blur of yellow and pink and the sound of hoof on metal and then the world was dark as a couch was turned over onto her. A moment later she heard the detonation of the grenade accompanied by the cries of ponies back outside, the electrical tingle across her horn telling her that it had been a stun grenade. She blinked and realized that Fluttershy had somehow ended up on top of her under the couch with her. She blinked again when she caught sight of the hard expression that had etched itself across the yellow ponies face.

“Stay down,” Fluttershy ordered, a harshness Twilight had never heard in Fluttershy’s voice before, “I’ll take care of it.”

In another rush of movement too fast for her to follow Fluttershy was gone and she was alone under the couch. She rolled over to her hooves and looked up in time to see Fluttershy’s front door blown open and black suited ponies roll in, armed with crossbows and magical energy guns. They were met by an angry ball of yellow fury in the form of Fluttershy, who pulled an umbrella from next to her front door and began knocking weapons pointed at her away as she wove between her assailants, driving hooves into sensitive areas and pulling them into the lines of fire of their comrades.

The ponies in black reeled under the unexpected assault and several repeatedly tried to bring their weapons about to shoot. The more savvy of them dropped their weapons and tried to subdue Fluttershy physically only to have their limbs grabbed, bent at cruel angles and their bodies thrown into their still armed comrades. One of the ponies grabbed Fluttershy's weapon, trying to deprive her of her weapon only to fall on his fanny as the end wrapped around Fluttershy’s hoof slid free, pulling a long sliver of metal from the umbrella’s body. The naked steel in Fluttershy’s hoof made thing go even more poorly as Fluttershy’s strikes switched from brutal blows to the legs and weapons to swift thin cuts that severed tendons and muscles.

After a long minute of fighting the only ponies left standing were Fluttershy and the last pony to come in the door, who, standing several  feet away from Fluttershy, had found time to aim and was now looking down the sights of his crossbow at the angry yellow pony who stood remarkably steadily on two legs. Fluttershy held her sword-brella out and leveled it at the remaining pony. “Put. That. Down,” she ordered, her voicer harder than anything Twilight had heard from her before. The pony stared back at Fluttershy for a moment before dropping his crossbow and putting his hooves in the air. Fluttershy immediately relaxed but her eyes remained cold as she ordered the unarmed and uninjured pony to help her bandage his friends before they got a ‘nasty infection.’

As they began Fluttershy waved Twilight out from under the couch and set her to work tying up the ponies they treated. While they worked Fluttershy grilled the uninjured pony for information. Most of what he said went over Twilight’s head but she was able to piece together that someone, who the pony wouldn’t name, had found out Fluttershy had survived… something, and was living in retirement. That same person had hired this bunch to deal with her.

When he finished, Fluttershy said an epithet Twilight wouldn’t have thought Fluttershy even knew.

“Angel! I need you to get my things out from under the stairs! Momma’s gotta go deal with some very naughty people. The house is yours ‘til I get back!” Her answer came in the form of another black suited pony flying in from the kitchen and crashing into Fluttershy’s coffee table. Angel strode out of the kitchen clapping the dust off his paws after the pony and then glared at Fluttershy waving a paw at the pony.

“Oh, I’m sorry did they try to come in the back too?”

Angel nodded, then darted under the stairs and pulled out a long metal suitcase while Fluttershy checked the pony on the coffee table. Satisfied Fluttershy opened the case and pulled out what, to Twilight, looked like enough advanced military equipment to outfit a small militia. Fluttershy pulled on a tight Kevlar suit and began hanging belts and pouches on spaces designed for them on the tactical suit. Finally she pulled out a pair of fancy goggles and put them on her head before heading toward the door. Halfway out she seemed to remember Twilight was there and turned back.

“Could you send a letter to Celestia and tell her I’ve been marked? I’m going to go to ground until I can find the pony behind this. Thanks,” Fluttershy turned to leave and then turned back again to add, “Oh, and please don’t tell Rainbow where I’ve gone, she’d worry terribly.”

“Fluttershy… What is this?” Twilight finally found her voice to ask.

Fluttershy blinked and gave her the same kind smile from earlier, “You always have a choice Twilight. And sometimes doing the ‘kind’ thing is really, really hard for everypony involved. But I choose to do it anyway. Otherwise who knows what would happen?” Fluttershy slid the strange goggles over her eyes. “I’ll talk to you later, Twilight. Angel! Take care of things while I’m gone!” And with that Fluttershy ran off.

Twilight stared for a moment at the carnage around her, idly noting that Angel appeared to be setting up a machine gun nest in the front room while ponies around her groaned piteously except the one who sat very quietly in the corner regretting his actions.

“What in the world just happened?”

----

A/n: Tiny bit over time

Krizak Comments!

Ahh, the retired spy dragged back in by their checkered past... and that spy is Fluttershy!? It was interesting seeing Fluttershy unleash hell on those mooks, while still staying true to her kind nature by not taking any lives and bandaging up the wounds she inflicted. Her answer at the end is apt, and Twilight's confusion throughout echoed my own. Very intriguing.

[thirtyminuteponies]

Prompt #124: "The Views Expressed Here Are Not Necessarily the Views of the Author or the Author's Affiliates" by Hurricane's Ghost

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RWL's Commentary

This is really a pretty accurate look at how things go at TMP HQ. I mean, I would assume? As you wrote I tend to be occupied with a very distracting special somepony so I can only guess at what goes on with the others. But murder plots and lectures on excessive shipping sound about right. Heh, it was a funny story, good work!

[thirtyminuteponies]

Prompt #118: "Fluttershy Lets Butterflies Live In It the Rest of the Year" by Hurricane's Ghost

Thunder crashed and the tiny space where Nightmare Moon appeared filled with dark clouds and an evil laugh, “Bwahahaha, behold I, Nightmare Moon, am retu- wait what in the hay is this?” Nightmare Moon flapped her wings and settled the clouds so she could see the hard clear surface in front of her.

“It’s a glass mason jar with some holes in the lid,” answered a bored voice.

“What?” Nightmare Moon exclaimed, grumbling as she rubbed some of the magic dust that had clung to the sides of the jar to look out and see a bored dark alicorn chewing on a piece of fruit and idly flipping through a book, “Luna? How are we separate! We should be one again! Then we may combine our powers to truly defeat those loathsome ponies who wield the elements and let the night REIGN FOREVER!”

Luna ignored the voice of her inner darkness sitting inside the jar and flipped another page and reached for another piece of fruit. “Nah,” she said, chewing, “I like it this way better. Me enjoying a book while you stay in the little jar. Just as planned.”

“Planned? But… How did you even know I was going to return? There were no prophecies this time,” the toy sized Nightmare Moon shrieked, “I demand to know how this sorcery was done.”

“Discord broke out of his prison in the last year. We figured if he could break out it was possible you might show up again too. Celestia and Twilight helped me enchant the mason jar, just in case.”

“So now what do you plan to do with me,” the tiny alicorn replied haughtily, “I have as much power as you, this jar will not hold me for long.”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t actually. You were using my magic for everything last time and now you’ve barely got a body. By all means though do try. The elements won’t be here to zap you until the Celebration is over, and I’m sure Twilight will appreciate the extra data,” Luna waved a hoof negligently in the direction of a large machine that had wires leading up to the top of the jar, “I’m going to take a nap now. Later Nighty,” Luna lifted the glass and put it in a box, raising the lid to seal it in.

“You can’t do this! I am the Queen of the Night! I will rule all of Equestria! Strike me down as many times as you like I will always return.”

“And we’ll have the jar ready for you every time until you learn to behave yourself. Remind me to take you out for a while next time though. Ponies do a lot of new and interesting things at night these days. It will be fun,” Luna told the jarred pony.

“Fun?” Nightmare Moon asked, the word sounding foreign on her lips, “What is this f-“

“The old word for it is ‘spaß’, don’t worry I had to look it up too. Language kind of got ahead of us,” Luna answered the forming question. Her head looked up from the jar and a voice could be vaguely heard from inside the jar. “Coming!” Luna called out, turning back down to the jar, “You think about that. Night Nighty!” And then the hovering  box lid came down and sealed a stunned Nightmare Moon into darkness. She stayed there until the next day when the box was blasted by the Elements of Harmony, and she was banished for another while.

Norse Pony's comments: Heh, I love the cavalier attitude on display here, the "meh, Nightmare Moon, big deal" that's going on. The teeny-tiny Nightmare Moon in a jar is a hilarious image, and I like the promise of redemption that you offer for her. Good stuff.

[thirtyminuteponies]

Prompt #112: "Hitting the Ground Running" by Hurricane's Ghost

Krizak Comments!

Now this was quite amusing, the "Elements of Harmony" getting ready to head into the Everfree Forest... and completely breaking all of their parents' rules to do so. I liked the interplay between the various fillies and colts, the way each set of siblings treated each other differently. Applejack catching them at the end was also amusing.