#husband problems

[kittencrowley]

When I have a cat on my lap but want a treat, so I call out to my husband. Only he’s abandoned me…

Fine. I’ll get it myself.

Offended.

How very dare you. You’re dead to me.

[durenjtmusings]

Unique events in the English language

I may or may not have been a participant in witness to this recent conversation:

Him: It’s 1 am, time to turn off the light and all electronic devices and go to sleep. Her: Noooo, but... Him: No, it’s late and we have to adult in the morning. OFF. Her: But, but, they just (gestures helplessly to the slow burn fanfic where a shirt has finally come off.) Him: NO. I’m going to the bathroom and when I return, all light sources OFF. Her: (with narrowed eyes) Pee slowly. Him: (Returns in less than a minute.) See I was fast because *I* went to the bathroom without bringing any electronic device or book. OFF. NOW. Me: (Turns off device.) FINE! I’m gonna go pee. (Stomps off to bathroom.) Him: (Turns off light and gets into bed.) Me: (Returns to bed 1.5 minutes later) There, see, I did what you wanted. I went to the bathroom without ANY electronic device or book. Then I viciously read the soap just to spite you. Him:... Him:...  in the history of English, I don’t think the phrase “viciously read the soap” has EVER before been...(loses it) Her: (loses it too, then passes out)

He was right,too, dammit, she was overtired and needed sleep.

[miltonworshiper1]

it's not animal hoarding if they chose to live here freely

[unknowndiamond123]

i hate it here.

why is talking to my husband sometimes like pulling out teeth.

he's so simple. so boring. one word answers to maybe something funny i sent him or telling him about my day.

and he's out rn and doing fun and cool things and has barely told me anything about what hes done on his own free will.

it's like i have to squeeze it out of him to tell me what hes been up to.

it's such a pain in my ass.

[hxppycrowns]

Me: baby will you make me a salad.

Jordan: yeah, *goes and makes salad comes back with smallest bowl and it’s over flowing.*

Me: Jordan I can’t eat out of this..... my food will spill everywhere ...

Jordan: okay I got this. *goes back into kitchen and comes back with a bowl the size of my head* I fixed the problem Babe.

[hxppycrowns]

Jordan: “Reading the instructions on a box of hash browns”

Jordan:We have everything, oh fuck we don’t have potatoes. 🥔

Me: The hash browns are the potatoes dumbass 😂😂

I can’t even deal with this boy tonight 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

[hindiastrologerservice-blog]

Strong Love Problem Solutions | Powerful Relationship Solution Love Problem Solutions Love is incredible and inconsistent. When we begin to look all starry eyed at somebody.