Oct 29, 2020
pretty sure i didnt post this ??
anyways have the huzwin
seen from Canada
seen from China
seen from Japan
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Ukraine
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Israel
seen from China
seen from Italy
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Canada
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany
pretty sure i didnt post this ??
anyways have the huzwin
Learning to be Happy Again
Hey, I’m back. Wow. Sorry for the late update. I would like to credit @linhamon-roll because I used their drawing as a description for Huz.
Chapter Three: Thank You So Much
There was a problem. As soon as I hopped out of the window, I realized I had no idea where Elwin lived.
So, being the genius I am, I decide to just light leap to Foxfire. It’s not that late and Elwin might still be there.
“Hey, wait up,” Ro calls as she thumps to the ground, landing on her feet. She grabs my hand and we leap to Foxfire.
Elwin is just walking out of the building when we get there, so I run towards him.
“Keefe? What are you doing here? Did you have more problems?”
“Um, well. Can I just stay at your place tonight?” I can’t talk about it right now.
“His dad--” Ro starts, but I glare at her, so she stops, glaring back.
“Um. Okay, but you have to tell me what’s going on when we get to my place, okay?” I feel that worry again, and smile despite the situation.
“Yeah, I will.”
“Good, now come here.”
So I do, and we leap to Elwin’s house.
It’s a lot smaller than I expected, only about three stories high.
Elwin seems to notice my confused expression because he says, “Oh, Huz and I didn’t want a big place. So much unnecessary space. There’s still too much of it, but oh well.”
“Who’s Huz?” I realize now that so much of Elwin’s life is unknown to me, and I’m bound to learn a whole lot of new things.
“Oh, he’s my husband,” Elwin answered, smiling slightly. Husband? That’s new. I mean, I’d heard of two elves of the same gender in relationships, but never seen it before. “He runs a community center for kids who need people to talk to. Kids with bad parent situations, problems at school, issues with friends, really anything.”
Okay, that’s cool. I didn’t know that kind of thing existed. Sophie probably needs it for all the stress she puts herself through,” I say, knowing full well that Elwin meant me to talk to Huz.
Elwin sighs, and opens the door and my eyes widen. The front room is the coziest that I’ve ever seen for its kind. Candleshade was, well, Candleshade (as cold as its former occupants). Everglen was fancy because of Alden’s status. The closest I could think to comfort level was Rimeshire or Havenfield, but this was more. I immediately felt safe among the brightly colored couches and large bean bags that surrounded the room.
Elwin smiles. “You like it?”
I nod. “It’s wonderful.” Past this room is a kitchen lined with pale green tiles. If I thought the first room made me want to live here forever, the kitchen definitely did. Something told me that a lot of cooking and baking happened in that room. Good cooking and baking.
I look at Elwin. “Thank you so much.”
“Of course, kiddo. Now will you tell me why you came to me?”
“Um, yeah.” I walk over to a beanbag and slump into it. “It was my dad. He didn’t give me the welcome home you’d expect after being in a coma for a few months.”
Elwin plops on the beanbag next to me. “I’m so sorry, Keefe. Do you want to talk about it more?”
I shrug. “I mean, I should right?”
“Only if you’re comfortable with telling me.” And I feel like I should, but also don’t want to. If I don’t tell him, he won’t know just how done I am and send me back tomorrow morning. But if I tell him, well. I don’t want to be a burden.
“It was just really bad. I might tell you later, but. I don’t know. It’s kinda too fresh right now, you know?” My sign comes out shuddered.
“Oh, Keefe. I’m always here if you want to talk about it more, okay?” There’s that same feeling of worry again.
“You don’t have to be so worried all the time you know, I’m fine.” I regret the sentence as soon as I say it.
But Elwin seems unfazed. “Fine hardly ever means good, Keefe.”
And there I blanch. The room is silent for a few moments and then there’s a knock at the door. Elwin’s face immediately lights up.
The door opens, and a tall man with shoulder length dreadlocks dyed orange at the tips comes in. His blue-purple eyes are extra bright against his dark skin. He does a double take when he sees me. I wave awkwardly.
“Elwin, who’s this?”
Elwin gets up and walks over to the man, Huz I assume. “This is Keefe. His home situation isn’t good, so he came to me. He wanted to stay here, so I brought him here about fifteen minutes ago.” And then he whispers something I can’t really make out. Something about talking later. Elwin looks at me. “Keefe, this is Huz.” He looks at Huz. “And that’s Keefe Sencen and his bodyguard, Ro.”
I cringe at the last name. Am I turning into Tam?
“I see I haven’t been forgotten then,” Ro says, not unkindly, but with a little edge to it.
“A Sencen, huh.” Huz looks at me with an expression that I think is understanding, but ignoring Ro’s comment.
And then I get cocky. “Not if I can help it.”
Huz chuckles, again with a knowing element to it. The green understanding surrounds him like a bubble. It must be because of the kids he works with. “Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want.”
“Thank you.” I smile.
“Now. Let’s show you your room, yeah Keefe?” Elwin starts walking towards a staircase that I hadn’t even noticed in my awe of the living room.
I follow him up the stairs which is a purplish crystal. Huz follows behind me and Ro takes up the rear.
Elwin points at a room to the right when we finish ascending the stairs. “This is our room, so if you need us for whatever reason, that’s probably where we’ll be.”
With the quick glance that I catch, the room looks big, but not as big as most bedrooms.
The tour continues on though, so I don’t catch much else.
Elwin points to the left. “This is the bathroom on this floor. It’ll be yours, since there’s one in our bedroom.”
I nod.
After a little while, he points to the right again. “And this can be your bedroom.”
I look inside and am immediately happy. The bed is huge, with a super fluffy comforter and so many pillows. But the thing that makes my smile widen is the desk. It’s a big table, enough room for a whole lot of art supplies. The walls are a pale blue, and there’s a huge window at the far end looking out over a big forest. A really great thing to paint, I think.
“Well, you’re probably tired, Keefe. We’ll leave you here to settle in, is that alright?” Elwin breaks my thoughts.
“Oh, yeah. I’ll be fine. Thank you so much Elwin. And you too, Huz.”
They both smile.
“Of course, Keefe.” Elwin smiles.
“Well goodnight,” I say.
Elwin hugs me. “Goodnight Keefe.” He looks at Ro. “Oh! Did you want a room to, Ro?”
“Naw, I don’t need sleep.” Ro says, even though I know for a fact she does. We did a dare to see who could stay awake the longest a while back. She won, but when I woke up the next day, she was sitting with her face in her knees, snoring.
“Oh, she does need sleep, she’ll take a room,” I say, smirking. Ro glares at me, but follows Elwin and Huz out when they nod and beckon her.
I get ready for bed, turn off the lights, and crawl into bed.
Which means, of course, that all of the memories of this evening come rushing back, so I turn the lights back on and go to the desk.
I fall asleep drawing a picture of me with Elwin and Huz, all of us smiling.
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Learning to Be Happy Again
A/N: Hello again, and yes I’m posting on Saturday. Things are not going Great, and I dunno. Feelin’ a little rebellious. Schedules are for normies. Anyway, I’ve made some edits so that the whole story is more accessible to new readers! If you’re new (or missed the last chapter), I’ve put one of those “first, previous, next” things at the bottom (right before the cut). If you’re more behind than just the last chapter, check my pinned post, all chapters are there.
With that said, get ready. This one’s a doozy (hate that I said that, but I don’t know what other word to use).
Chapter Ten: It’s Not Your Fault
The tree we found is large and shady, which is perfect. Fitz is sitting quietly next to me, thinking. He sighs, slumping further down the tree.
“What’s up?” I wonder.
“Oh, just,” he gestures, “everything.”
“Care to elaborate?” I don’t want to push too much because of what happened last time, but this seems like something that needs to be let out. “I know you don’t want to, but if it’s all you can think about, maybe it’s better to just let it go? Talking usually helps. Or writing, but I know you’re more of a talker. Well, except for maybe that one time,” I add, cringing at the memory of Fitz and Sophie sitting close under the panakes tree.
He laughs quietly. “Right, that. Well, I’m not really sure either of those things are great ideas. I’ll still think about it, I’m sure. I mean, it’s been at least a month since I realized and it hasn’t stopped--” He shakes his head. “I should stop talking.”
“No, no, this is good! What did you realize?” I scoot closer to Fitz, turning myself to face him. “I won’t judge you, you know that, right?”
“Except you will.” He stands up. “I should go.”
I jump up and grab his hands. “No, please? I promise I won’t--oh.” There’s a shooting pink warmth that flows from his hands to mine and I drop them, surprised.
“Yeah,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no, no, don’t be! It’s not your fault. I just, I don’t like you that way? I’m sorry, I, uh, you’re great and all, but,” I ramble.
“Just stop, I get it alright? I understand, I do. I just need time, alright? I’m going to go now,” he mumbles, looking at his feet.
“Okay, I’ll see you around, Fitz.” He turns around and walks away. I fall back against the tree, sighing. That was a weird turn of events. Definitely wasn’t except any of that.
“Elwin, can I talk to you?” I yell at the house as soon as the door closes behind me.
“Woah, chill, I’m just in the kitchen,” Elwin calls back, much less loud. He walks over to me. “What’s up? Did something happen with Fitz?” He sits down on a couch.
“Well, yeah.” I flop down next to him. “How’d you guess?”
“Pa—uh, just intuition, I suppose. I’m good at that sort of thing, being a medical professional and all.”
“Right, of course. I bet you have to deal with kids not knowing why something hurts all the time.” I smile.
“So, what happened with Fitz? Is he alright?”
“No, I don’t think he’s okay. But not in a, wow I don’t really know how to put it. He, well, he likes me. And I don’t. So he’s not doing great.” I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. “And I don’t really know what to do either? Like, do I comfort him or leave him be? I don’t know what’s best here?”
“Oh, I see,” Elwin says wisely. “What would you want if you were in his shoes?”
“Hm, I guess I would want space. But he’s my best friend, I can’t just let him wallow!”
“You can, actually. I know it’s hard to see people you care about in pain, but he has other friends. Dex and him have been getting closer since you, uh, were in a coma, so he has at least one anchor. And I’m sure Biana will be there for him too. He has other people, Keefe, you don’t need to carry everyone’s weight all the time.”
“But if I can help, shouldn’t I? And most of the time it’s my fault anyway, so I have a moral obligation to.”
“Was it your fault this time?” I hold my tongue, trying to seem like I’m thinking about my answer, even though I already know.
“Yes. Right? How could it not be? I probably led him on, and now.” I sigh.
“Actually, Keefe, it’s not your fault. People can’t control how they feel, and you certainly can’t do anything about it. And it’s also not your fault for not liking him back, you just don’t, and that’s okay.” He pats my shoulder.
“How’d you know I was going to say that next?”
“Well, I was a kid too once. I was in a similar situation to Fitz, but felt the way you did. I know now that my feelings towards this person weren’t anyone’s fault, but at the time, I definitely did. It’s all going to be fine, kiddo. Feelings pass. I bet you’ll be back to normal before you know it.”
“Normal? Is that possible?” I wonder.
“Well, if you make it weird, it’ll be weird.”
“Gee, thanks. I’ll try not to act weird,” I answer sarcastically.
Elwin sighs just as the door opens. Huz comes in, a burst of cold air after him. He kicks off his boots, cape, and scarf before flopping down on the couch across from Elwin and I.
“Oh, hello, honey,” Elwin greets, turning away from me. “How was work?”
“The usual. Zara’s making a lot of progress, which is good to see. She went through a whole session without lighting the chair on fire.” Huz smiles. “What’s going on with you two?”
“Oh, it’s nothing really. Just teenager stuff,” I respond before Elwin gets the chance to. Something tells me he’ll spill everything, and I’d rather keep the embarrassment down to a minimum.
“Okay. Oh, have you given any more thought to getting help? I know the situation with your parents is bad, and I was just wondering if--”
“No, I haven’t given it any thought,” I interrupt, not wanting to further the subject. I keep getting put in corners here, I should probably make my excuses to leave.
As if on cue, my imparter rings.
“Hey, Keefe, you wanna hang now that you’re awake and all? Sophie, Fitz, Biana, and I are already here at Rimshire.” It’s Dex.
“Um, sure. But, should I be there?” I ask, looking at Elwin to confirm that I can go. He nods in approval.
“Why would it not be?” Dex furrows his brow, looking confused.
“Oh, um, nothing. Just, well, is Fitz alright?”
Dex’s face drops. “Oh. He told you then? He’s a little spacey, I guess. But he told me to invite you. Um, yeah. He’s fine, all things considered, I guess. But you’re going to come?”
I nod and we hang up. “You coming with, Ro?”
“Naw, I got things to do. And anyway, you’ve been ignoring me, I think you’ll be fine a little while longer,” she answers, fiddling with a knife.
“Um, okay,” I respond, unsure about whether or not to apologize. “Sorry?”
“It’s fine, dude, go have fun.” Ro smiles.
“Be back for dinner, or hail me if plans change, okay kiddo?” Elwin says.
“Yeah, ‘course. I’ll see you then,” stopping myself before I say anything too sappy. It was close this time, but Elwin has been so caring I can’t help but love him. He feels like the dad I never had, even more so than Alden.
I close the door behind me quickly, not dwelling on these thoughts, and leap to Rimshire.
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Learning to Be Happy Again
Chapter Five: That’s Not Right At All
There’s a knock on my door about an hour later.
“Come in,” I say, getting up from my bed. I had stayed lying there ever since Tam left, wondering about feelings and trauma.
“I see Tam’s not here anymore. Did that go alright?” It’s Elwin, I shouldn’ve guessed.
“Yeah,” I say, thinking about what went down. “Yeah, it went alright. He’s in a really tough place. I told him if he ever needed to talk again I’d be open.”
Elwin nods. “Anything of… note?” He has that feeling of worry enveloping him again.
“Well, yeah. I think a lot of it is self loathing? His feelings of hate a guilt were all pointing, well, inward. If that makes any sense. It shrank the longer I was with him, but. Well, that part was the most note.” And then I remember the hand. “Oh, actually one more thing. His hand was, like, really cold? I don’t know why, but that was a thing that happened. So, yeah.”
Elwin nods again. And there’s something else in his eyes, a glimmer of something.
“What?”
He chuckles. “Oh, nothing. Just,” and he gestures vaguely, and the twinkle becomes more apparent. Was that… pride?
“Why are you proud?” I try to look at him as intensely as possible.
“So, you were holding hands with Tam?” Elwin answers, trying very hard not to laugh again.
“I--” What? “It’s not like that! Why would you, what?” Tam and I? What? Why would he--
“Woah, woah. It’s okay. Just, you know.” Elwin responds. “Sorry. You just don’t see very many instances of, well, homosexuality here and. Sorry.”
I sigh. “Well, that’s not what’s going on between Tam and I. We barely know eachother anyway.”
“You’re right, and, again, I’m sorry.” He pats me on the shoulder. “Well, I’m going to make dinner. I’ll call you when it’s ready?”
I nod, and Elwin walks out of my room. And so I am left, again in my own thoughts, which are even more tangled then before. Elwin’s mention of homosexuality brought back too many memories of flashing smiles and proud remarks, and now. Did I have a crush on Alvar? Was that what those feelings were? It makes total sense now that I look back on it, but it’s still hard to imagine. Am I really gay? But I can’t be. There have been girls too…
I groan and get up.
When I get to the kitchen, Huz is at the table doing some kind of paperwork, Ro is sitting on a beanbag fiddling with a knife, and Elwin is making a mess in the kitchen. I walk over to the table and sit across from Huz.
“Whatcha doing?” I ask, and Huz starts.
“Oh, hello, Keefe. I’m just filling out paperwork so that kids at the center can get the help they need. Therapy, alternative housing, extra tutoring, that sort of thing.”
“Therapy?” I knew what it was, but never thought about it as an option for elves. Sophie had mentioned it one time, but I hadn’t heard about it outside of that.
“Yeah, it helps kids who seek help work through their issues in a safe space. You know, Elwin and I were talking. We think that maybe you should think about talking to someone.”
“But I’m fine! See look, I’m smiling!” Even though Sophie talked about how therapy was important, and wasn’t only for people with really big problems, something about talking to some rando about my feelings seemed too much.
Huz looks skeptical. “Well, you certainly don’t have to, but you should keep it as an option. Just in case you change your mind. And even if you are fine, it’s good to have someone you don’t know to talk about stuff. You get another perspective.”
I shrug. “Maybe, but this sounds like something Tam needs more. I’m not the one who can’t stay in a room without shadow-izing it.”
Elwin gives me a look. “You have a point, but he also has extreme trust issues. I don’t think he would do well in an environment with someone he doesn’t know at all.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. But it’s not like he trusts me either, I haven’t given him any reason to.” I haven’t. I’ve been a terrible friend, really. I don’t know why he decided to open up. It really makes no sense.
“But you’ve also been through a lot of the same things as him. I think he also feels guilty for, well, you know,” Elwin says, getting quieter with the last few words.
“Who’s Tam?” Huz asks.
“Oh, he’s one of Keefe’s friends. The one, who, uh, put him in the coma. He’s in rough shape. I’ll talk to you about it later.”
“Is dinner ready yet? I’m starving, and you elves are boring.” Ro gets up from the beanbag and walks over to the table.
“Yes, yes. Dinner is nearly ready,” Elwin answers just as he pulls a dish out of the oven.
Dinner is eaten, and is delicious. It’s a nice change from the cold silence back at The Shores of Solace. A feeling of warmth settles over the table, and even Ro joins in the conversation Elwin and Huz are having about how the council is actually pretty messed up. This feels like what a home should feel.
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My huz know he can be annoying lol. I just got home from work (did basically a 12hr shift because I wanted to get extra training for the job I’m doing - THERES A LOT I HAVEN’T GRASPED YET. THERES SO MUCH TO LEARN!) so I take a shower, get dressed, relax in the bed with the door closed (he’s in the living room watching the game.) I’m just on my phone browsing IG, tumblr, FB, and Amazon…. and here he comes bursting in, closes the door behind him, clasps his hands behind his back and starts singing in kreyol. But he’s looking to the sky and everywhere but me while doing a slight left to right turn movement with his body like kids do when they’re nervously singing for you. The only difference is HE’S 6'3" and LOUD and too damn grown to be singing like that at the top of his lungs. I tried to ignore it but after like 10 seconds I was like SHUTTUP AND GET OUT! And he bursted out laughing before bolting out the door.
Wtf lol. Don’t come in here disrupting nirvana. 😂
I was having a conversation with my huz last night that I felt was beautiful. I asked him who named him? And he said his father did. I remember he had told me that as a kid he used to get so mad at the other kids cause they would tease him about his name which means "roots." I also remember telling him at the time that everything that grows starts off with roots. A foundation. So in a sense, he's the beginning of beauty. The rebirth of death. As long as the roots are strong, so will everything else. So last night he said his dad said he named him Racine because his dad was from the country side of Haiti. He had the chance to watch the flowers and trees and fruits grow and that when he had a son, he would want his son to grow into someone honorable and plentiful like the fruits and flowers. With added knowledge. (His dad was strict about education and never let him play with the other kids by the river. My husband mentioned having to sneak away when his dad was in the garden just to see his friends.) All that my father-in-law modeled for his son, is exactly who my husband has become. It makes me tear up when I think about my huz cause even though he can be the human form of a headache (scorpio lol), he's a beautiful human being. I love his spirit. I wish I had the chance to meet Mr. Jean-Claude Polycarpe and tell him how remarkable his son is.
How funny it is, that on my second day at work, I’m told that they have plans to move me to another resort, which just so happens to be the same resort that my huz works at lol. We can car pool to work lmao.