#hwansaeng.

[jikida-a]

@hwansaeng asked, "“ Will you still look at me the same way? ”

Months. Months without Haeun, without Nagako's partner-in-crime, without really knowing what was going on. Of feeling like there's this massive boulder in the middle of her sternum—it threatens to drag Nagako down, but she's too busy trying to hold up the rest of EM5.

None of them could afford to fail. Maybe it was this mindset that had played a part in Haeun getting to the point that she did. Like they were all in free fall.

All that Nagako can do when Haeun asks so quietly is ungracefully clamber to her side and throw her arms around Haeun's frame. She doesn't care for once about how it might look, or how she might feel, or all these stupid barriers that she's built in her head, her invisible playbook of who can and cannot get close to her.

"You know that nothing would ever change how I think of you, right?" Nagako mumbles into Haeun's shoulder. She's horrific at this shit. The eye contact would be unbearable. "No matter what happens. You're—you mean so much to me. I'm... I'm glad you're safe."

[gokdont]

@hwansaeng said, ❛ don't forget who you belong to. ❜

Mira's already on a bratting kick tonight, so she decides to keep it on theme. This had started earlier in the day by not letting Haeun touch her when they were originally getting ready for the party. Then, Mira decided that a black lace number paired with black pantyhose and a choker was a great outfit. It was great in the sense that Haeun's gaze has been burning holes through her all night long.

"Belong to?" Mira repeats incredulously between hot, frantic kisses. They hadn't been sitting for a minute in the back of the limousine before Mira was straddling Haeun. "Belong to who? You'll have to remind me. Seems like I've forgotten, and so has everyone else." Spoken as if she has control or patience, Mira's hands grasp and tug and pull at Haeun's clothes as she grinds against her girlfriend like she'll never get to touch her again. One hand has no problem grasping a handful of Haeun's hair to ensure she looks at her. She says, in a low, easy lilt, "You sound jealous, pretty girl. Got something to prove after watching me all night? I hope you fucking do."

[gokdont]

@hwansaeng sent [  laugh  ]  a  laugh  slips  out  mid-kiss  and  derails  everything.

There's a K-drama on in the background, but don't ask Mira which one. It was a shock that they had even gotten that far before she was pulling Haeun into her lap. The remote, their popcorn, and their show stayed forgotten. Instead, her focus was on her hands tangling into Haeun's hair tightly, lips earnest and adoring and devotional against hers.

Words equally as worshipful sit on the tip of her tongue, ready to spill over, when Haeun has to pull away and laugh.

"Oh my God," Mira groans, "I knew you were going to do that. Stop thinking of my funky eyelash when I'm trying to kiss you." She's trying to be angry, but even her words fray into chuckling spurred on by Haeun's snort. "My eyelashes get glued together once and suddenly no one can let me live it down."

She is, of course, referring to a viral GIF recently made by a fan highlighting a makeup malfunction. Mira's eye had been twitching unhappily for half of the performance. It was a sight to see.

[jikida]

@hwansaeng sent [eavesdrop.] sender fucks receiver where others can hear but not see.

They are exceedingly lucky that it's an hour of the day that the gym isn't busy, but it doesn't make it any less risky. Nagako can't even find it in herself to be embarrassed about it, not with her back pressed against the cool wall of the changing stall and Haeun pressed up against her.

Her nails scrabble at the soft skin of Haeun's back and shoulders uselessly with each voracious thrust of Haeun's fingers in her cunt. The growing urge to moan, to whimper, to plead practically burns in her throat. "H—Haeun, I c—can't—" Nagako barely breathes in a strangled whisper, nearly on the verge of tears. Footsteps passing by make her lips press together in a tight line in an effort to stay silent. Sweat from her earlier workout (cut short by this one) still clings to the skin along her neck and abdomen.

Fuck, Nagako could swear Haeun is trying to get them caught, and she can't even find it in herself to be annoyed.

[jikida]

@hwansaeng asked, "do you or do you not love me? i need to know."

Nagako knows that she's made this harder than it needs to be. It's so fucking stupid—it shouldn't be hard to say something as simple as three words, but it is. She has admitted to herself a long time ago how she feels about Haeun. It's impossible to ignore. It's all-consuming. And faced with the threat of losing Haeun, of losing any part of her—she can't. It's unfathomable.

It scares her, but losing Haeun scares her more.

"I..." Nagako swallows, then looks up to meet Haeun's gaze. "I love you so much that it fucking hurts, Haeun," she confesses. The words begin, and they keep tumbling out without any control. "I love you more than I love myself. And if I lost you somehow—I don't know what I would fucking do. I want you. I need you to be mine."

It's embarrassing. Humiliating, even, to hold her heart out in her palm like this, but Haeun has never, ever let her down before. Nagako trusts her implicitly.

[jikida]

"gamer? nerd."

"fortnite and chill?"

gako is unsurprised by these results.

[gokdont]

"wow. i can't believe it." said with flattest affect of all time.

BINGO CARD

"do i know you?" completely deadpan.

not like that's the love of her life or anything.

[jikida]

@hwansaeng asked, "why can't you look me in the eyes?"

Nagako doesn't register Haeun's voice at first. Her mind is faraway—it has been since receiving a legal letter in the mail from her father a couple days ago. Typical, since he couldn't reach her any other way. This, though... Nagako had to deal with this. Otherwise, Kazuo would end up back where they had started.

"... What?" She asks after a pregnant silence. Nagako blinks, then she smiles a little. "I've just been distracted. And tired. I think I need coffee," the vocalist continues, "I—..." Nagako laughs a little, the melody edged in bitterness, and shakes her head. Just once. Her eyes close, again, pointedly not looking Haeun in the eyes. "Can we not do this today, actually?"

Her voice shakes like a fucking traitor. The world feels like it could lurch to the side any moment now. Nagako digs her nails into her palms to retain some semblance of control. She enunciates the next set of words slowly and carefully.

"I need you to back off, Haeun."