Here's our submission for the HowlCon Kinsona zine hosted by @who-is-page !
We normally would have drawn something digitally, but we were having our roof replaced at the time and it was too loud upstairs to work :,D
So we whipped out our old markers from college and slapped this bad boy together. Here's the text we provided in the zine to go along with our art:
"Our system name is "Discount Ghidorah System." We named ourselves that because three of our oldest system members share a collective hydra linktype and we look like the Ghidorah you'd have at home. Our kinsona is a reflection of this - a cute golden hydra we can use as our system mascot!"
Thank you so much for putting this together Page!! The zine is free to download here!
Huzzah! After much over-thinking, we finally made an official ref sheet for our hydra form!
We had the colors decided for the longest time, but couldn't agree on the body layout. Our form is fluid in the headspace, so we struggled to pick one form to display on the ref. So we compromised a bit with the mode change. ^v^
Or, what it's like to be a your own dragon, but also literally intertwined with two other dragons as a single dragon
So we are a system of five dragons with three of our members collectively identifying as a hydra linktype, but each of them also has an individual form outside of that. As a hydra, we feel like we ride a weird line between what it means to be an individual and what is the self. We’re writing this to share what our daily life is like because we thought others might find it interesting! There’s not that many hydras around in the alterhuman community that we’ve seen at least.
We are a single dragon – we share a single body even in the headspace and are connected in a way we don’t share with other headmates. However, it gets extra fucky because we aren’t always together like that nor are we always all present in it when combined. Sometimes only two of the three hydra members combine at a time to be a hydra – it’s not necessary to have all three. Because of the shifting make-up of members, the appearance of our hydra form–the number of limbs, wing arrangement, and size also changes. Generally speaking, we'll be the size of whoever the largest dragon in the group is at the time. The one constant is that we always have gold scales.
Does Identifying as a Hydra Mean I Must be Plural?
How do you know when you’re a hydra then?
How do we know when we’re an individual dragon vs a single unit as a hydra? The easiest way to tell is because we’ll look like a hydra in our headspace. When someone isn’t in hydra form they’ll appear as their individual form. We can “tune in” to another headmate’s frequency and get a glimpse at what they’re doing/where they are from the front. It’s like adjusting the dial on a radio and can happen as quickly as if you glanced over at a mirror. Beyond essentially looking down at ourselves to check, we can often just feel it. The usual scenario is we feel like we’re in hydra form and we quickly check-in to confirm.
What does “just feel it” mean? It can mean feeling the phantom sensation of another neck alongside our body’s physical one. It can also mean feeling like our thoughts/feelings are “fuller” and we’re experiencing the thoughts of another fellow hydra head running parallel to our own. Another common occurrence is we can feel closeness, a unique lack of boundary, between what is me and us.
Something we’ve been asked is who is controlling the body then? Do certain heads control different parts? How do we decide when we are moving around the headspace or collectively fronting? When we’re a hydra we’re not three dragons that have been glued together we are a single dragon. We all collectively control everything. As long as we have a shared intent, our body will move accordingly. And if we disagree? It definitely happens, but communication barriers are basically nonexistent. We feel each other’s thoughts and feelings as instantaneously as our own. It’s unusual to be frozen in indecision, it’s more like hesitating before making a choice. Talking things through just happens so quickly.
To share a mind
The thoughtleak is real. Thoughtleak happens between all of our headmates, usually when we’re close to each other in the headspace, but when in hydra form it’s more intimate. There’s definitely been times where we’ll suddenly feel an out-of-place emotion and have to consider who it belongs to. Which, that can happen with our other headmates, but it’s a stronger, more pressing feeling and harder to distinguish as someone else’s since hydra. When we’re not in hydra form, the rules seem to be the same as our non-hydra headmates: thoughtleak amount depends on proximity. It’s not possible for us to be both a hydra and in individual forms at the same time. It’s one or the other. Likewise, shifting between them doesn’t leave us in a limbo state. There can be a general knowing or sense that the form is going to shift soon before it does, but the actual change in form happens quickly.
Also, our other headmates are not able to just hop in and suddenly decide to join us as a hydra. There’s not a great way to explain it besides we’re able to do it because we’re drift-compatible. It’s just not possible unless we’re on the same wavelength.
Choice is punk and being an otherlinker is not only valid, but actually extremely cool.
The things you choose for yourself are powerful and we choose to describe our hydra-self as a linktype. This may or may not seem odd given everything we’ve said up to this point, but we have a specific reason for it. Everything: merging, being close to one another and sharing with each other is a choice. The linktype descriptor immediately communicates to others that we are collectively choosing to become another, different dragon together.
Nothing happens against someone else’s will. It’s impossible to Voltron into a hydra if we’re not comfortable with it. Forming together as a hydra is contingent on us not only on us being in tune with one another, but actively desiring to be close to one another. You gotta be drift-compatible and be willing to get into the robot.
If you're interested hearing more of our rambles on being a hydra check out our older writing A Few Thoughts on Being a Hydra.
Parting Thoughts
We want to finish with a quote from Thorn. It was said in response to our 30 day alterhuman challenge, but we feel sums everything up nicely:
"We have a strong bond that has grown stronger over time. There’s a quote saved on our phone that I want to paraphrase: 'Right now, they feel like they’re in a box–like the menial distance between them is some forced, unnatural barrier that shouldn’t be there. Right now, they want to tear that barrier down.’ Being a dragon inherently comes with a feeling of power and pride, but being a hydra is about love and connection. We often joke that the only thing we love more than ourselves is each other. We’re close with our other headmates, but there’s something about becoming the same being as one another. A unique level of synchronicity and trust is needed for it. I love them.” – Thorn
Another one of our entries for Inky Paws 2! Another fake magazine cover, but this time also featuring an accompanying quiz!
Let us know who you end up vibing with the most!
One of these days we should really take the time to make more of the pages from this mock magazine. It was fun to make! It'd be cool as it's own complete little piece.
If you haven't already, make sure you check out the rest of Inky Paws, it's free to download on itch.io right now!
Does identifying as a hydra mean I must be plural?
We gotten variations of this question several times now, so we're compiling all our thoughts into one post.
tldr; No, you don't have to be plural to be a hydra.
However, that it doesn't mean it's not a question worth considering. Hydras do seem like the perfect "multiple beings one body" personification. Not that we're biased as a hydra otherlinker of course. As a counter example, the pokedex entry for the pokemon hydreigon says repeatedly that the 'mon only has one central mind despite having multiple heads.
So we started with the linktype technically, but it's unclear if we ever would have been drawn to it without being plural. This is an entry from our journal when we first formed the linktype:
"My own reason is because I feel this creature is a fitting representative of my inner narrative. Being a hydra takes all of the contradictory elements of my "self" and brings them together in a way that makes sense to me. Others may disagree, but this identity is for myself. At the end of the day, no one knows my experiences better than myself.
I just "knew." I had a feeling and thought "haha like a hydra." and BAM I knew it was something I wanted to pursue. I have considered other creatures in the past, but they didn't give me the same rush of emotion and "me-ness" as this sudden thought and species did." - July 2021
Our plural "awakening" happened parallel to it. We don't spend any time in the plural communities nor want to so we don't know all the terms. Not sure if awakening is the word to use, but it gets the point across. We all collectively choose to identity as a hydra despite having individual forms because we feel drawn to one another and don't want to be separated. Presenting this way in the headspace lets our speech and thoughts flow more easily and just feels good to be honest.
If you're interested, we have another piece that goes more in-depth on how it feels being a hydra.
tldr; The closest comparison we can think of is of a bunch of dogs all curled up in a dog bed together. It might look squished, but it’s comfortable. It’s hard to tell where one dragon ends, and another begins. We could get our own beds, but we're cute like that and it makes us feel closer to one another.
But back on topic:
It was easier initially to see the hydra (were really into Godzilla at the time and watching the new king of monsters dvd) and realized there was something there we wanted even if we couldn't articulate it at the time.
This isn't to say you have to be plural to be a hydra, but it's how it worked out for us. Hydras are a huge category of creatures that vaguely is a serpent with multiple heads. But it'd be a question that would come up in alterhuman spaces and is worth thinking on if only to have an answer when others ask. And "I'm not sure." or "I'm still sussing things out." are totally acceptable answers! This stuff takes time and no matter how confident others sound, only you can know what the right terms for yourself are.
Depictions of hydras are hard to come by to begin with, but It makes sense that there'd be more than two possible options (one mind vs multiple fully independent ones). The original reason for linking a hydra was still a valid one imo even if we would have not ended up plural as well.
If you're a hydra or questioning it and feeling like an outlier don't let it get to you. Being a hydra in the community is to be slightly weirder among the weird anyway. The important thing is to find your truth.
Speaking from experience, even if you never find someone else with your exact thing going on, there's a lot of comradery to be found in alterhuman circles. A lot of the core feelings and experiences resonate with others even if everyone experiences them their own way.
