Could polyamory become as common monogamy?
Polyamory is defined, very broadly, as “ethical non-monogamy”.
Observation:
More and more open conversations are being had and content being produced around polyamory, especially relating to the increase in throuples. Yesterday, Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow, and mother Adrienne gathered around their Red Table to discuss the dynamics of an intimate relationship with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved.
Prior to this, on the 22nd of March 2016, Netflix released You Me Her - billed as television's first "polyamorous romantic comedy”. What starts as an arrangement soon evolves from a financial commitment into a meaningful romance with real consequences between 3 people. This year, this idea filtered into our fiction world too when hit mermaid series, Siren introduced a throuple relationship between their lead characters.
Although the community of polyamorists may still linger in the exclusive rooms of your favourite lounges or the comfort and privacy of their homes as society warms up to the changing structures of intimate relationships, the numbers are growing and little gatherings are forming.
To find polyamorists today, head to Brooklyn.
In areas of the borough dominated by corporate-sponsored graffiti and homogenous warehouses-turned-craft-cocktail-bars, the practice of dating multiple lovers has developed into a social scene... there are events where polyamorists get together and no one has sex: Film screenings, picnics, cocktail parties, and other PG-friendly rendezvous.
- Olivia Goldhill, QUARTZ, December 20, 2018
For now, the conversations being had are centered around the curiosity around the emotional dynamics, balancing the needs and setting boundaries between more than 2 people.
Past:
On one hand we grew up watching all the Hollywood fairytale stories centered around the search for and happily ever after with ‘the one’ – that single person we can grow old with. They became our aspiration. The challenge in finding the right one and looking forward to the simplicity of a life with them thereafter.
On the other hand, we grew up our aunts, uncles, friends’ parents all getting divorced and family units breaking and working to amend those relationships again. & sometimes that trend crept into our own homes with our own parents.
The increasing commonality of divorce has made newer generations less certain about marriage and more open to the idea of different approaches to human relationships. Finding the one became less important - an indicator of this was when women started looking forward to a life centered around a career and independence.
Future:
Changing relationship norms to include more than one partner
- KH