I don't think people realise how scared I am of failing. Of not unterstanding things. Of asking help. And some situations just make me want to hide even more.
So in maths (funny, since it's a nice class but I"ve always felt like my good grades were never right because I feel like I never understand it in the right way) we started a new topic and my friend asked something. We argued a bit over the possibilities. The teacher then explained something and my friend was right. I know how important these small things in being right areto him, but he gave me the feeling of looking down on me, that he is superior. And god knows I hate this feeling. I tried to ask him about it and share my thoughts about the problem because I couldn't grasp the concept of the solution. But he was acting on him being in the right and didn't really listen to me. He said a few words but added "i am still right". Yes, you are. Maybe I was hoping of being in the right with my lost trail of thoughts, maybe I was hoping for your help to understand the concept.
And now I'm at a point where I'm starting to get afraid to ask my friends questions. That they will think I'm dumb. That they feel superior and I will feel weak. And I hate this.
I don't know how to handle these emotions so I'm just writing this situation into the void of tumblr, hoping that it can calm my mind enough that I'll be able to sleep.