#i hate doubt

[asliceofcheypie]

Do you ever wonder, when you're so far deep into something, that you've made the wrong choice?

[steinbecks]

DO NOT REBLOG

i swear to god yesterday night someone followed me for about a block and a half, all the way up to the door of my apartment building. i turned the corner onto my street (generally well-lit and entirely residential) and heard someone walking pretty closely behind me. that’s fine. i picked up my pace to put some distance between them and myself, because having someone so close at my back generally makes me uncomfortable. 

but they matched my pace. you would be surprised how rapidly a fear reaction escalates from zero to one hundred, especially because i have been in similar situations before; so without thinking i pulled out my phone. i checked the screen and put it back. my boots are clipping the sidewalk pretty fast now; if i went any faster, i’d be jogging. and this person behind me is still keeping pace.

so i took out my keys and held them, just so i wouldn’t have to stop at my door and spend ten seconds pulling them out of my purse. no sooner did i pull out my keys than the person behind me took out their keys and started jangling them, a steady stream of jangle jangle jangle jangle. i can see my building entrance now, maybe fifteen yards away, when i hear heehhh…. haahh….. heh… short, high-pitched, sing-song breathy noises, so i’m, of course, flipping my goddamn shit at this point. i don’t know who they are. i don’t know what they look like. i just know they’re behind me, and they are very close to me. 

i walk past the gate into my apartment complex, unlock the front door in about half a second, and storm into the foyer, letting the door slam shut behind me. out of the corner of my eye i see someone walk past the gate into my apartment complex - wait. what if i made a mistake? what if they were just someone who lives in the same building? what if i’d just let a heavy glass door slam shut on one of my neighbors, leaving them out in the cold? is this whole thing just an over-reaction? i have been harassed and followed before; maybe, in the cool, hazy gloom of a windswept chicago street at night, my imagination is calling old ghosts out of the shadows. 

okay. whatever, i think. the lobby of the apartment building is long and echoing and silent. i walk the length of the lobby towards the back staircase. maybe i made a mistake. maybe they were just the neighbor. i expect to hear the door open again any moment now. if they have their own keys, they can get in by themselves.

my foot is on the first step of the back staircase and i realize: the front door still hasn’t opened. 

[c8laudette]

Im shutting off

[shane-of-thrones]

Hmmmmm decisions

So tumblr, this guy thinks I'm cute. He is ripped, latino, loves anime....and I don't think he just wants sex considering he never brought up anything like that yet. I never in my dreams thought a guy like him would be interested in me.....so I wonder if it's too good to be true.

But alas...he wants to hang out this weekend. I'm deciding whether to give it a chance...WHY MUST I BE SO INDECISIVE? I wonder what's stopping me. Hmmmm maybe I should give it a chance then. But so far, there's no mental connection.