i haven’t had a Klondike bar in ages. my god this is nice.
well anyway.
billy’s heart sort of shattered at the words.
“i loved you,” steve said as he sat down for dinner. beef stew. billy’s favorite of steve’s culinary creations.
the corn felt like it’d gotten stuck in his throat so he coughed nervously before asking, “loved?” steve was all teary and wouldn’t meet his eyes, didn’t look quite...there.
he did nod though, “yeah, but i don’t think you do?” the question threw billy under a bridge. “so i’m working on not...loving you that is,” he finished slowly. he squirmed and billy could only seem to focus on blinking. steve put his unused spoon back down, “thought i’d let you know.”
billy asked the most logical response he could think of, even though he also considered it a bit stupid. “why?”
steve pressed his lips together for a carried out moment. “why what? why do i love you?” billy nodded. “well,” steve began, “you’re the only one here,” he gestured around to the mostly vacant, oak dinning table.
but billy still didn’t get it, “and?”
steve looked off and shrugged, “it’s my birthday.”
“your—“
“birthday, yes,” steve snapped, brushed his hair back with both hands and sat back in the too big chair. “i’m twenty one today,” he stared at the grandfather clock billy often found himself admiring.
“why didn’t you say anything,” billy resisted scolding.
steve laughed a little coldly, “the same reason you didn’t when you turned twenty. five months ago.”
“you don’t know wh—“
“oh, don’t i?” steve tested. finally looked at him with a raised brow. “don’t i?” he smiled. each syllable so it hit billy right in the center of the forehead. “you were hoping someone would say it first right? someone would figure it out on their own? you were hoping someone would have it taken care of for once.” the silence rung and it was answer enough. but steve rubbed his eyes and smiled as though he hadn’t just lost himself. “am i right? aren’t i right about that much?”
billy’s voice was almost timid, “you’re right about a lot of things.” steve gave him a look he wasn’t sure meant ‘that doesn’t answer my question’ or ‘yeah, right.’ billy scooted closer, “maybe we can still salvage this.”
steve shook his head and scooped up broth before allowing it to drip back down into the bowl, “no. it’s fine, i should have just marked the calendars or...something.”
billy scowled at his bowl, “no, no. just—“ he leaned forward and took steve’s hand. “we’ll go get mint chip ice cream and i’ll sing you happy birthday. and then later, we’ll watch that movie you like so much. what’s it...uhm....”
steve’s voice cracked a little, “16 candles,” he sniffed.
“yeah,” billy nodded, “that one. and we’ll get all your pillows and blankets and camp out in your big ass living room. got it?”
“yeah,” steve smiled with his big ass heart that was probably even bigger than that big ass living room. and billy kept hold of his hand when he sat back to his own bowl.
“good. now eat up. no dessert before dinner.”
“i love you.” he didn’t freeze up that time, just relaxed into how fond it sounded.
billy squeezed steve’s hand, “i love you too, steve. happy birthday.”
