So I chatted with Loki last night through the runes.
Probably the first time without doing much of an offering. I plan to do a full-on normal offering this Saturday, no doubt about that. But I felt like doing some divination last night.
I attempted to just do this on my purple tarot/witchy altar cloth (no witchy altar since I've moved back in with my folks), and I was gonna do runes first and then a tarot reading or two. I lit the lavender-scented candle and then the candle was flaring up immediately with wild flickerings and such. It was Loki getting my attention.
He was basically (and I'm paraphrasing an interpretation of the feeling) telling me that if I wanted to chat with him, to do it at the altar. There was no pressure for an offering, but I lit a stick of incense anyways, lit all the candles, and continued with the rune reading.
Real quick: I wanted to buy a green candle for money spells, and all they had at Target was a pillar scented candle (Nordic Spruce; smells like a manly soap), and then I realized all money spells I hope to use in the future require the candle to fully burn out. Pillar candles, even this stout one, will take forever to burn out. So I just took the wrapper off and set it on his altar, so he seemed to wanted an excuse for me to burn it for him. >_> (No smell, though, the whole time I burned it. Chances are he was really taking that one in.)
So I'm doing the rune readings and did the Nine-Rune-Cast. There was a cluster of negatives (pertaining to everything that's going on with my life right now) with a positive Algiz flipped over next to it, another positive flipped over next to the cluster, a positive facing up to the side, and Gebo close to me. And the whole spread immediately told me he was trying to say, "Despite all of this shit going on, I'm still going to be here, so don't fear that I've gone away. Just hang in there. Once this passes, things are going to get so much better."
And that just... that made me feel so much better. I don't even remember much from the other castings. That one stood out the most.
Afterwards, I did a tarot reading, mainly for practice, and mainly money-related spreads, because I'm still not sure if applying for Books-A-Million is going to be wise or not with how my parents' schedules are.
And the messages kept coming out mixed. But it's leaning more towards a no anyways because my parents can't figure out how we can get this to work.
I'd get my permit and license, but Jeremy is the one who works the furthest away and needs that stuff, and my parents are still having trouble getting time to take him to go and get his permit, and then practice for a license and such.
(For new followers: My husband and I were too afraid to bother getting permits in high school because we're afraid of failure and being crapped on badly by our parents. And afterwards when moving to Pittsburgh, we relied on public transportation since it would cost a LOT of money just to keep a car in the downtown area.)
And we do have to focus on Jeremy being able to get to work on his own because it's his income that's feeding the whole household. And there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING here in this county that I'd feel comfortable working in. And no, don't tell me I should apply anyways even if I don't feel comfortable, because who with anxiety is going to work well in an uncomfortable environment without worsening their well-being in the process, and possible doing poorly as a result only to get fired for it? (That nearly happened with my first job because the boss was an all-over dick to everybody.)
But yeah. I also have a tendency that when I get stuck in emotional ruts, I completely forget about Loki because I'm still too used to being a christian who is so used to the absence of a god that i'm just... stuck.
I need to go to the altar more often when I feel stuck... Just to chat... Like last night.
I keep forgetting I don't have to do a full-on offering just to chat...
