Jan 27, 2017
I feel like..
No one already cares about me in real life..
#everyday..#all i do.. is study and draw#i dont sleep.. because i feel like its something that keeps me alive.. even if it means i am slowly destroying my health...#but i want to destroy it..#because.. there is no fun.. when i know no one already cares in real life..#i know im.. not special..#but i just want someone.. to love me... in real life..#someone to hug me and to tell me to stop drawing for a while.. and to stop studying for a minute...#i show my works to my friends.. and they seem tp be disgust from it... so i keep my drawings for myself...#i show my works to my siblings..#and they once said to me... they couldve done better than me..#i know that...#evefyone is better than me..#but you didnt have to make me feel.. so useless..#i only know how to draw.. i want that to be one special thing that i have...#everytime i show my animations to my father...#he never seems to care or even understands..#i never see the reactions.. that makes feel... proud of what im doing currently..#but im trying...#i realized.. if no one cares what i do... then how am i still continuing??#its because... i have.. you guys...#just some random people from around the world.. telling me i matter.. when i know for a fact i dont..#i do not matter#anymore#yet just a few words from you guys.. always makes me smile...#and thats how i continue#you guys are the only thing why i am continuing...#continuing to do things i want and love...#honestly... i want to quit tumblr... for a long time...#but i still dont understand why i decided to stay...