#i love .. he

[klarabohringer]

[bloodybrahms]

That Dilf Ash stuff is just 👌. Can we get some Dilf Ash with a gender neutral s/o?

YOU SURE FRICKIN CAN?

hnng daddy-

no but seriously, he loves the age difference - really appeals to his male ego that he’s still got It™

and if you’re into it, he is unironically on board with being called ‘daddy’

lots of teasing between the both of you about the age difference

“careful not to break a hip, ashley”

ash fucking loves it if you go out in public and someone mistakenly refers to you as his child so he can just smack your ass and proudly be like Nope! y’all are fuckin’ :) 

the faces people make are priceless

that being said if there’s like a father/child discount at a store you guys will lie to take advantage

which makes it awkward for the wait staff if it’s like,, at a restaurant and you two proceed to blatantly play footsie under the table-

ash is actually pretty comfortable with himself and his age

“babe can you come help me put on my girdle?!”   

but also he’s only human so don’t forget to remind him just how hot and refined you think he is

only thing he likes getting stroked more than his dick is his ego

that being said he also… is one of those old guys/dads who like… refuses to acknowledge that time has an affect on him and will try to do something youthfully stupid if the opportunity presents itself

ash: i can totally still do a keg stand; age is in the mind

you’re either the mature one in the relationship desperately trying to keep him alive (”if you survived wave after wave of undead only to die because of brain damage from trying to do a kickflip, i’ll make fun of you at your funeral”) or you’re also other there doing dumb shit with him like you’re both in a competition to see who can die the fastest

either way: that’s love, i think

you, at dinner with your family: daddy, could you pass the salt your father figure and ash: *reaches for the salt*ash: LOL >:3c

get him set up with a snapchat if you’re prepared for a barrage of dick pics and constant requests for sexy pics of you in return

motherfucker wears a chainsaw as a hand - age doesn’t matter, 50 or not he can and will pick you up

especially if it’s to pin you up against somethin’ wink wonk

ash: so am i what the kids call a sugar daddy?you: no? you work part time at a value stop? you bummed me for gas money-?

look i know we’re all joking about calling ash a DILF but don’t ever let him find out about the term because he will love it and like… probably would get a pin or novelty shirt or some shit like this: