I HAD A THOUGHT
so I'm abrosexual.
today I was feeling bisexual for the first time IN AGES. like you don't understand how rare that is for me. I messaged this to my friend, who was busy at the time.
then, I had to go out into the real world to do an errand. sad, I know.
when I got home, I messaged my friend again. "home safe. feeling less bisexual by the minute."
my friend then answered back, saying "what does that even mean?"
and I was like, oh my gosh, people won't understand what that means. BUT THEN I HAD A THOUGHT. A METAPHOR THOUGHT.
this is how people usually explain abrosexual:
it's similar to being bisexual, in that it's fluid. but sometimes you can be pan, or ace, or only attracted to one gender, etc. it's like genderfluid but for sexuality.
which is a good explanation! it is! but I thought of a better one.
imagine you've been cursed. (by an evil wizard or fae trickster or old god, whichever you prefer. the origin of the curse is not the point.) (i am not at all saying being abrosexual is a curse, this is just a metaphor to explain it.)
imagine that the curse is that your tastebuds are ever-changing. y'know how like when you get older, you enjoy new things, or maybe hate things you used to love? imagine that's what's happening to your tastebuds, on a daily basis.
you crave different things. sometimes you crave ice cream, or vegetables, or both, or nothing at all.
it's infuriating, because you can't control it.
imagine you have a favorite food. one from before the curse, something you've loved since you were young. let's say it's Reese's peanut butter cups.
HOWEVER. this spell has ruined your tastebuds. for a while now, you've only been craving peanut butter. you stare longingly at chocolate, for you love it. but when you try to eat it, it just doesn't taste right. the joy isn't there. in the past, it has been the opposite. you crave chocolate, but not peanut butter. or even sometimes, you crave nothing at all.
but one shining morning, you wake up craving both. it's a euphoric moment. you say to yourself, I'm going to have a peanut butter cup today. I'm going to enjoy it so much.
but before you can, you get busy. have stuff to do. before you know it, when you're finally done, you think about that peanut butter cup again. you head to a vending machine. then, as you punch in the numbers, you realize something. your craving is dwindling. your stomach drops. you know if you don't hurry, it won't taste good. it will simply be bland. you put the food to your mouth, and - it's too late. you've stopped enjoying chocolate the way you could have. you die inside, a little.
in this metaphor, craving chocolate is attraction to women. craving peanut butter is attraction to men. craving reese's is attraction to both (feeling bisexual.) craving nothing is attraction to no one (feeling asexual.)
this is a horrible metaphor as it equates being asexual/aromantic to not having taste, which is simply untrue. aspec ppl have great taste! they can still have attraction in many ways, and can enjoy things like food, fashion, dragons, and unicorns.
BUT I think it gets the point across.
being abrosexual is like craving different things in an unpredictable way. sometimes it can be really frustrating, and complicated, and downright confusing. a lot of internalized phobia and imposter syndrome is involved.
for me, I consider myself Sapphic, as I love women very much. they're incredible. however, I don't always feel attraction to them the way I'd like to. usually, I find myself drawn more to men, even though I could never really see myself dating one (that isn't fictional.)
so yeah, for anyone wondering, I hope this helps.