#i'm immune

[caesarsaladinn]

since chemical exposures seem to be in vogue I'm blaming my suspected autism on the time my mom got teargassed while pregnant with me

[hel7l7]

haha - you thought it was over but here is a rant about the guy you all hate 🤡

Ok so. It's not as bad as you think it is!

A few weeks back I updated you all on the fact that I cancelled our coffee-meetup. This seemed like a clear choice, but it was actually a little messier than that. The day I texted him to cancel our meetup we also had a phone call. It was a bad phone call.

It was 11:30 PM. I was tired and a bit sad. He was annoyed. A simple summary of it all: I took all the blame for everything. Made myself small and basically just accepted that I was the 'crazy-person' who made all of this up while he was just acting normal.

As we spoke on the phone I could FEEL the little bits of anger boiling inside, but I couldn't speak up for myself. Which was really annoying. The phone call wasn't all bad, we had a part of it where we spoke about somewhat normal things, but in the end it came down to me just making everything complicated again.

I have attachment issues, sure. So in a way I do make things more complicated than they have to be. But, most of my friendships are just fine without all the drama/obsession/push/pull/whatever. The people that trigger me the most often have something going on for themselves. It's the mix of their issues with mine that serves such a perfect cocktail of drama that I love/hate.

This guy doesn't really seem to believe he plays any part in this at all.

After the call the meetup was still cancelled and I was fine with it. It was all fine. I will see him again in certain situations but that's different than a 1-1 meetup.

But the little bits of anger kept bubbling up. It just didn't feel right that I just let him walk over me like that. That I became a small girl who took all the blame while it is not ALL my fault that I spiraled again. HE flirted with me. HE knows that we've been in a complicated friendship for months. If he really didn't want things to become complicated again, maybe he should've thought about that before he acted the way he did when I saw him last month.

My friends kept telling me that it would be useless to tell him this. Cause he doesn't believe he has any part in this. Cause he isn't going to say sorry. And at first I listened to them.

But then I thought to myself; I don't need him to say sorry. I don't need him to understand. But I do need to stand up for myself.

I just wanted him to know that I don't agree with all the things he said during the phone call. I wanted him to know that I don't think this is all just my fault.

So I texted him again the other day. I wrote down a little message explaining a little bit about how I felt about it all. That it wasn't only me. That his behavior also played part in this and that if we both want to prevent any complicated shit from happening again that he too should change his behavior.

He texted me back the same day (surprise surprise) that he thinks it's good that I spoke up about these things, but that he isn't sure if we're on the same page. He said that he sees certain things a bit differently. (Is this correct English idfk) He wants to think about it a little more and will text me again later.

It's fine. Like he's probably going to text me and tell me that I'm making most of it up. That it's all in my head. Which is fine. I don't need him to be sorry. I just needed to speak up.

[flightyquinn]

I haven't seen anything become tragically popular for a while. I think it's about time for Tumblr to sacrifice a post to The Bit.

[yuuary]

That ending was peak personally but that's because I'm a drv3 fan

[kat-simss]

Hot take: you don’t have to be embarrassed abt the “cringey” stuff you did when you were young

those things might have been embarrassing and seem weird now, but they were part of what made you into who you are today, and it’s normal to do “weird” things when you’re young (or, really, all of the time) bc you’re figuring stuff out and learning all of the time

TL;DR: embrace the cringe. enjoy life. embarrassment is overrated

[ryanberga]

time for a bedtime story:) *listens to a podcast about spooky mysterious murders and terrifying real life paranormal experiences*

[kylorengarbagedump]

I would love to witness some woke haters stumbling upon your blog and just straight up exploding from all the lovely Kylo content hitting their undeserving eyeballs

I don’t really get hate anymore because anyone who is interested in shaming me has already tried and failed.

[whatabunchofbozos]

‘omg that’s so cringe’ mate i watched six full seasons of glee i will never cringe again