I kill my own hope and happiness before someone else does it for me.

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I kill my own hope and happiness before someone else does it for me.
everyone else on this site is having sex and doig drugs and going to parties and having mutuals go crazy in love with what they make and share them
i'm going to bed but i should be out having fun, vibing, being close to someone
"It's not your fault"
But it is my fault.
How could it not be my fault?
If I was enough I wouldn't be at fault.
But I'm not enough.
Some people are too much
I know I could never be too much because I am simply not enough.
If I was enough they wouldn't have gotten bored and left.
What am I doing wrong?
Why can't I be enough?
There's all these hoops I have to jump through to be happy but I literally can't jump anymore
kinda just want to disappear and have everyone forget about me
She likes someone else haha... Time to back off I g.
I'm about to drop $320 next month on a month of online coaching. It's a good deal of course but it just feels like a rock bottom. I've asked for help before; tips, pointers, advice, that sort of thing but honestly I've reached a point where I have realized that my training style needs a major overhaul. I of course can't afford that every month so it will likely be a month of me getting feedback, a month or two off applying skills and a month back. I'm looking forward to learning.
i’m gonna be in my feelings for a moment so don’t mind me
i love sam and colby’s friendship. it’s adorable and genuinely heartwarming to see how much they care about each other and i love it.
the part that makes me sad is that’s what me and my best friend had.
and now... i don’t have that anymore. i don’t have a best friend.
it hurts.