Your best friend, Daiki, is an intriguing man, to say the least. Or that’s what you think every once in a while, when you lay your eyes on him. He may be known out there as the quintessential cool guy – frowny, but stylish, effortlessly handsome and nonchalant. A sort of bad boy from some sappy YA novel come to life; he even comes with his sad backstory from his high school days, something to tug at the heart of anyone that sees in him nothing more than the cliché that he seems to be.
You love him, of course. Let’s get that clear: you’d fight a crocodile with your bare hand for him, because that’s just how much his existence means to you.
But god, is he a weird ass dude.
Despite his appearance, Daiki is no short from being a loser boy by definition. Obsessed with basketball, so much so that he doesn’t hone any skills aside from that. He’s clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed and he can’t read the room for shit. Which ultimately makes him incapable of sustaining a relationship with a girl, aside from his friendship with Satsuki and you. You could also pin this inability to pull on the stash of porn magazines you’ve once found in his place, but that’d be too simple of a conclusion.
Not that you are any great judge of character, but you’re confident enough to say that your best friend’s chronic singleness can only be blamed on his person as a whole. Granted, he is easy on the eye and in his own idiotic way, he can be kind and even cute.
“But that’s not enough, son. You’ll die a virgin” you throw at him, not even deigning to look away from your phone to face the person you’re talking to.
The young man clicks his tongue; his weight being felt at the end of your bed where he slops his giant body dramatically.
“Don’t say that, it’s a curse” he groans, “and don’t call me son, too – that’s just wrong.”
You throw an unbothered gaze in his direction. He’s come to you looking for the answer as to why he can’t successfully get into a relationship, and you’ve answered. You wouldn’t wish to put a curse on him by the power of your words, but you’ll admit that the truth can feel like a malediction.
“What did you do when your date ended?”
“I said bye.”
“That’s all?”
He frowns, looking at you as if you’re asking him to solve an equation.
“The fuck you mean, “that’s all”? Yeah, what else was I supposed to say?”
You sigh, and the next second, your childhood plushie flies right to his face. He quips in surprise, but your reprimand is fully founded.
“Not a single “today was great, we should meet again”, not even a “I’ll text you when I get home”... dumbass.”
You suck your teeth, just plain annoyed at his inability to reason like a normal person would. There’s no excuse whatsoever – he should have at the very least watched a few romantic movies, right? Just the bare minimum of knowledge to be able to conduct a first date properly. You look at your phone again, seriously considering an emergency call with Satsuki. You have her on speed dial at this point – that’s all on her for leaving that giant pile of idiot in your care while she’s living abroad.
“I’ve got league matches coming up, got no time for more. What’s the point of promising her something she can’t get?” he defends himself, a childish pout deforming his manly features.
“Then invite her to a match, you fucking idiot.” You sigh, wondering if this is how his parents have felt all this time. This frustration of seeing Daiki be so confidently wrong.
He looks away, trying to find an argument in his favour – in vain. And he can tell, by the way you look at him, that he’s messed up with one other potential girl. It’s almost comical how he keeps fumbling; and it’s worse with the knowledge that he gets asked out quite often. Daiki entered adulthood with the sudden realisation that he is quite popular with the ladies, and he’s yet to grasped fully the consequences that come with it.
You also could have fallen for him if you didn’t know any better. The first time you’ve seen him, he was shirtless on the court of the neighbouring park, shooting hoops with seemingly effortless moves. Evidently, Daiki is the hottest when he’s on the court. And your touch-starved self would have definitely tried to get into his pants if life didn’t make him your best friend. Of course, this evolution of your relationship is nothing that you could have predicted; but once he’s taken that special place in your life, it just doesn’t feel right anymore to see him that way.
“Seriously Dai, what’s the issue? Do you really want to find a girlfriend or not? Wait, do you even like girls? You know, I’ve seen you with Taiga and –“
“I’m not gay, you’re just a fujoshi” he scoffs, throwing your plushie back to you.
“Says you.”
“If men grow boobs, I might be into them.”
You chuckle, giving a light kick to his back. “See, that is why you’re single. Talk a lot but I bet you couldn’t handle a real pair of tits.”
He groans dramatically, body limp by your side as if you just shot him dead. And in a way, you kinda did – how is his ego supposed to recover from this strike of yours? He is bruised, terribly so, but he knows damn well that you are right.
“If you let me touch yours, I could get some experience, you know.” He throws at you in a desperate attempt to recover from the hit he’s received.
But you are no fool – knowing Daiki as well as you do, you can tell that he resorts to this kind of talk as a defence mechanism. As much as he cannot keep a girl around, he is awfully good at flirting with you “as a joke”. Platonically, of course. With no real truth behind his words at all... Right?
Right.
He doesn’t want you; he never did and probably never will. You’re not his type, anyway. He always says yes to the prettiest girls when they ask him out – the ones that look like some fantasy come to life. But you? As confident as you are in your own beauty, you know very well how rough you can be on the edges. They will always be some dark circles, some chapped lips, some overgrown hair, and chipped nails.
“You’re an idiot, Daiki. And for that reason, I won’t let you get anywhere close to my boobs” You sigh, flicking his forehead.
“Can’t blame me for shooting my shot” he chuckles, “I usually never miss.”
“You do miss... with girls. Continuously.”
“You know what?” he says, suddenly sitting up, “I don’t think it’s entirely my fault.”
“Yeah? Then whose is it?”
“Satsuki, and you.”
You sit up abruptly too, incredulity visible on your face at your words. “Me?!”
He nods, seemingly not about to take back his words. Well, he’s got you speechless for once. The audacity of this man to blame you and your girl, Satsuki, for his lack of game... Urgh, men.
“What? You think girls wanna pursue something with me when I’m always seen with a pretty girl by my side?”
“That’s not –“
“Well at the very least Satsuki was hung up on Tetsu so people could take a guess... But you? Man, you are a major cockblocker.”
You scoff dramatically, hand to your chest as if he’s insulted your ancestors. Now, this idiot has called you plenty of names in your years of friendship, but none has felt like an insult as much as “cockblocker”. It is all the more insulting, considering that you’ve been nothing less than the best hype woman he could have asked for all this time.
“Your cock should be in use in the first place for me to be able to block it” you say after clicking your tongue.
“That’s the whole point, I can’t get it in use as long as you’re around.”
“Why are you so adamant to pin this on me?”
A silence. You move slightly back – seeing that glint in Daiki’s eyes is quite unsettling. He seems annoyed, genuinely. You can empathize in some ways; while you have more experience than him, you still have much less than other people your age. You’ve missed on teenage love entirely, and entered adulthood in a swarm of lustful beings, only hungry for your body. Your first love happened somewhere between your late teens and the first years of adulthood, and it was just a confusing mess of feelings and experiences lived through just for the sake of it. And ever since Daiki has entered your life, your love life has been dry.
Not a single date, not a single kiss except for some drunken ones at the bar, not even talking stages.
Naturally, you’ve also thought of blaming it all on Daiki – the timing is just too coincidental not to, right? But it doesn’t seem fair towards him. If anything, it might just be you.
Regardless, you can understand Daiki. It’s not just the frustration of not getting any that really gets you, no; it’s the endless attempts that never conclude and leave you feeling like something’s wrong with you.
“Are you really pissed at me for this, Dai?” you ask, vulnerability tinting your soft voice.
It sounds almost childlike, like a kid fearing that they’ve done something bad. The young man sighs, head falling on your shoulder in defeat. It surprises you a bit, but you still can’t help but pat his hair with intent of comfort.
“Daiki.”
He hums, heart skipping a beat upon hearing the honey in your voice. He almost melts right here on the spot, hating himself so much for being such a fool for you.
“You know, for what it’s worth, I genuinely think that you’re a catch. Even if you’re a dummy.”
He still doesn’t utter a word, and his silence only forces you to ramble endlessly. You don’t even know what you’re saying anymore, even less why you’re talking so much for. It’s just words, and words, and words from the bottom of your soul, filling the walls of your room like liquor poured in a glass shot.
“And I mean... yeah you can be a bit dense, and every once in a while you give me the ick; but you’re kinda fun, in a way. You grow on people, like the taste of soju. And, ah, if I squint a bit you can be, well... hot. Frowny face and all. I can overlook it if it’s for your abs –“
A kiss.
For not even half of a second, you question the entire Universe. Where do we come from? Who puts us on each other’s path? Who decides of what makes our heart beat? Who decides of the lines to cross and those to keep intact?
“Fuck, sorry.”
But you can’t reply, you can’t even think. Hell, are you even alive? And when you come back down to Earth, only one thing lingers – beside the feeling of Daiki’s lips on yours; a daunting feeling, akin to an existential crisis falling upon you as if the world just ended right here and now.
What the actual fuck have you done?
part two here !! <3