Feb 18, 2014
So done but I gotta keep goin'
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So done but I gotta keep goin'
Just want to say sorry about posting so much about I-week. Matt has got me into the habit of venting to him when I have things on my mind and it i hard to vent to someone when you can't talk to them or you barely see them.
I do really well when I keep myself busy. Nighttime is when it hits me the hardest. I wanna snuggle up and just talk to him about nothing and everything at the same time. I'll be honest writing how I am feeling is helping more than I thought it would, I mean sorry Tumbler you are no Matt Brown, but thanks for trying to be.
I wanna be like the girls who can talk to their boyfriends, their boyfriends being brothers and not pledges. Pledges can't talk, brothers can. I know next semester I-week will be better because I will be able to talk to my Matt, I only have to stay out of Sigma Chi's house and I can do that.
Only reason I haven't been to sad is because I keep myself busy and I at least get some of my feelings off my chest.
I miss him a lot.
I'm sorry, I'll try to calm down on the posting.
Got to hug and kiss Matt multiple times today because I kept seeing him. I have to say that makes this all better. I miss him and cannot wait to fully talk to him, cuddle, kiss, and hug him. This has made me realize that I love him so much. I'm still proud of myself for not breaking down and becoming depressed. I am very proud that I have done so well.
I am surprisingly not doing bad so far with I-week. I do better when I don't see Matt, but I want to see him, because I miss him. I at least want a hug from him. I've seen him but he has been to far away for me to hug or to yell at. Monday went by quickly because of all my classes, I only had one today in the morning, so today isn't going by as quickly as I want it to. I want Saturday here, I wanna talk to, kiss, cuddle, and hug Matt. Never realized how much we actually talked about before. I keep having random things pop into my head and I wanna tell him so bad but I can't. Also I have realized how much I love having him in my life and that he truly is my best friend. I really do love him and I hope that he is having a good time. I miss him like crazy but I am proud of myself for not breaking down or becoming really sad over it.
But I've heard that Wednesday is one of the hardest days, so I'm really hoping that it isn't to hard and that it goes quickly.
Good thing is, I have more than one class everyday after today, that should make the days go by quicker.
I have class in a half hour and am still in bed. And I haven't done my Asia reading or half my WRRD readings
But not class tomorrow till 11:15.
The likelihood of me keeling over from exhaustion this week is 99%
So I can't talk to boys until Friday. IM GOING TO DIE PRACTICALLY ALL MY IRL FRIENDS ARE GUYS. I NEED TO TALK TO THEM. Especially *him* but nfmakajdjdksjawomaaksks