Sway | Chatzy
Who: Ian and Bianca
Where: Ian's cabin
When: After Bianca's conversation with Danny
Summary: After having had an argument with Danny Bianca looks for comfort in her best friend, Ian. After a heart to heart one thing leads to another and their friendship will never be the same again.
Bianca’s situation had him worried which really shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Ian loved the girl and he wanted what was best for her, he always had and as much as it hurt him to see her with someone else, he knew she was happy. The story had changed though and Bianca was no longer happy in fact he had never seen her act the way she was acting since her break up with Aaron. Being reckless and destructive had always been her defense mechanism but now Bianca was rather calm, she was partying but nothing too crazy and it worried Ian that she would snap and spiral out of control. He had been laying in bed staring up at the ceiling lost in his thoughts when he heard the door open and then the voice of the girl who was responsible for his many sleepless nights. Ian sat up his blue hues meeting hers. “You’re out of luck, I’m out of ice cream” he told her with a slight smile.
Seeing Ian always made Bianca feel a little better, she loved him and she knew she could always count on him but at times she also felt guilty because she knew very well what his feelings towards her were like. “Damn it!” She said faking disappointment. Bianca kicked her shoes off before walking towards his bed and jumping in to it. She grabbed the covers and pulled them over her body. “Then I guess I’ll have to settle for just talking to you” she said with a sigh.
Ian scooted over when he saw her kicking her shows off. It wouldn’t be the first time they shared a bed, when they were younger he used to crash in her bed a lot of times and vice versa. Whenever one of them had one of those nights when nothing seemed to get them to fall asleep they would call the other and just being in the same bed seemed to help them. Of course for a long time Bianca had someone else helping her fall asleep and he knew it was selfish but he was glad that he was once again the one she turned to when she was sad or in need of someone. “I guess you will” he told her giving her a smile. He could see through her façade, he could see that something was not right with her the only problem was that with Bianca you never knew if to ask what was wrong or if it was best to let her tell you. Ian turned on his side so that he could face her, his hand reached for her curly locks and he brushed them away from her face “what’s wrong, Aly?”
Of course he would see through her and if Bianca was being honest she wanted him to after all had she not wanted that then she wouldn’t have gone to see him right after her conversation with Danny. She smiled when he brushed her hair away from her face. Brown meeting blue and she thought of how easier it would be if she felt for Ian what he felt for her or at least half of what she felt for Aaron. She couldn’t though, no matter how easier things would be she couldn’t force her heart to feel things for him when her heart longed for another. “I had a conversation with Danny; he blames me for destroying Ben’s relationship and of course for hurting Aaron… I’m starting to think that what he said was all true. I’m just not the girl that gets the happy ending I’m the girl that guys simply pass the time with, you know?” Her gaze was fixed on his until she felt tears fill her eyes; she tore her gaze from his as soon as she felt them. She knew that if she didn’t that the tears would escape and If they did that she might not be able to get them to stop.
He didn’t really understand how Danny blaming her really bothered her mostly because Bianca had never been one to care for what people thought of her especially some idiot like Danny. As she continued speaking though it all became clear and Ian got a sudden urge to punch Danny in the face for saying and making Bianca think such things about herself. He saw her eyes glass over just before she looked away from him and that only angered him more as well as broke his heart. How could she believe such a thing? He wondered. “Hey” he said softly as he cupped her face so that her gaze met his once more. “You are not the girl guys pass the time with. You are the girl that guys fall madly and deeply in love with even when they spent years trying their best not to. You are the girl that guys lose sleep over, the girl that guys dream about having in their lives. You are beautiful, smart, caring and you also have flaws but those flaws make you even more amazing and they make you perfect maybe not for Danny or Aaron but they do make you perfect… they make you perfect for me” he caressed her cheek softly with his thumb, his gaze fixed on hers as he spoke.
Ian always knew what to say to make her feel better and this time had not been the exception. The only difference was that as he began to list the type of girl she was, she knew that he was talking about what she was to him. A tear escaped and rolled down her face as he spoke. She would give anything to feel the same thing for him but she couldn’t. She was in love with another and even though at one point she had wanted more with Ian, she had never been in love with him or at least not the way she was in love with Aaron. “I… I can’t do this, Ian. You know I love him, even if he hates me my heart belongs to him” she whispered softly. She hated having to tell him that but he had to know in fact he did know that she loved another.
Her words crushed Ian, it wasn’t that he didn’t know that she loved Aaron because he did know that. It was just that the way she said them it sounded so definite, like no one would ever be allowed to enter her heart again because it belonged to Aaron now. You haven’t given yourself a chance to love another or to just be with someone that isn’t him. When you were with Jackson you were running away from your feelings for Aaron. Just let him go, allow yourself to give someone else a chance… to give a chance to show you just how amazing you truly are and how you should be treated” his thumb wiped a tear away from her face. His eyes searched for any hint of hope in her eyes, anything that would give him a sign that he shouldn’t give up on his feelings for her. “I love you, Bianca, I have loved you for a while but timing was always so fucked and then you left Toronto and I thought that I had lost my chance with you… but then I find you here, tell me that you don’t see that as life giving us an opportunity to give us a shot? Tell me that you don’t wonder how it would be to be in a relationship with someone that trusts you, someone that knows every single one of your flaws and loves you more for them. You want to change for Aaron, to be what he deserves well I want you exactly the way you are. There is nothing that I would change about you because to me you are perfect and if Aaron can’t see that then you’re right he doesn’t deserve you because you are too much for him.” He needed her to know just how amazing he thought she really was. “Just try” he whispered as he leaned in a little closer to her his lips mere inches way from hers until suddenly the distance disappeared and he felt her soft lips against his.
Any girl would be more than thrilled to have someone say those words to them especially if that someone was as amazing as Ian was yet Bianca wasn’t. She loved Ian but she was not in love with him. Bianca felt her heart beat quicken as he spoke and continued to wipe her tears away. His words would make any girl melt and make them fall for him but Bianca was not any girl and so his words didn’t have the same impact on her. A few words did strike a chord though and made her question whether he was right. Did all she need to do in order to move on was let Aaron go? How did she even go about doing that though? Before she knew it his lips pressed against hers and even though she stood there motionless for a few seconds she did wonder if she owed it to him and to herself to see if there was anything there. Bianca’s eyes fluttered close her hand moving up to cup his face as she kissed him back.. Ian was amazing kisser there was no denying that and she did feel something when she kissed him but it was not like kissing Aaron. She replayed Ian’s words in her head reminding herself to just let Aaron go that perhaps life was giving her a chance to be with Ian. It would have been so easy for Bianca to hold on tightly to Ian, to let him be her rebound the one that helped her through the pain and showed her how to let go of Aaron but she couldn’t do that to Ian, she loved him to much to simply use him and she knew that as long as she was in love with Aaron she just couldn’t be with anyone else let alone an amazing guy like Ian.
Bianca returned the kiss making Ian smile in to it. Her hand cupped his face and Ian moved closer wrapping his free hand around her waist pulling her closer to him. That was all he had ever wanted, a chance, a chance to show Bianca that there was someone that loved her unconditionally, someone that did trust her when she said she didn’t remember sleeping with Ben and so she didn’t think she had really cheated. Their lips moved in perfect sync against each other and though they had kissed before or really he had kissed her, he felt like this time Bianca was trying to let him in. “I just want one chance to try and get you to fall for me” he said against her lips.
She was enjoying the kiss, she would be lying if she said she didn’t but there was something missing in it. His arm wrapped around her waist and she moved closer to him pressing her body against his and then Ian spoke and her eyes fluttered open. The curly haired girl pulled away from him, pulling her hand away from his face and put it over his hand that was cupping her face. She bit her bottom lip as her gaze met his, there were still tears in her eyes but not over what Danny had said; these tears were for Ian. “I love you; you are my rock, my best friend… I have no words to describe what you mean to me. You have been there for me always. You have put me together every time that I am broken but… I can’t hurt you and I can’t lie to you. I can’t risk having you just be a rebound, I rather have you in my life as my best friend than to try and start a relationship with you when I know in my heart that I can’t shake my feelings for Aaron away. I might get over him someday… I might not, I have heard that you never forget your first love and Aaron is my first love, but whether I do or I don’t I need to know that I will have you in my life and I know that if we start something now that I will end up screwing that up and I can’t have that. “I’m sorry, Ian” it killed her to say those words to Ian because she wanted so bad to be able to feel the same for him so that he could be happy because he needed happiness but she was not his happiness she was just the best friend.
He should have expected her reaction in fact he did what he didn’t expect were her words. He thought that maybe he had finally gotten through to the beautiful girl but her words said otherwise. He was hurt, she was the one he wanted and like always she wanted someone else, someone that had their life together and not someone like him. He should have known that even Bianca would prefer another over him, he was just never going to be enough. He couldn’t continue to put himself through the pain though and he certainly didn’t want to see her sad and hurt over someone else. Ian pushed the covers off of him and sat up on the side of the bed. “I can’t do that, Bianca. I can’t sit around and watch you be miserable over another guy when I know that I love you and I could try my best to make you happy. I get that you don’t love me or see me like that but you are not even trying and so I will give up too. I think it’s best if we just don’t spend time together anymore in fact maybe we should just end this friendship now so that we can all move on” His eyes glassed over but he blinked the tears away. Ian stood up off the bed and grabbed a shirt that was on the corner of the bed. “You can see your way out, I’m heading out.” He put the shirt on and grabbed his shoes before walking out of the bedroom and out of his cabin. If she was giving up then so was he because frankly he didn’t have any fight left in him not when she didn’t want to fight either. It killed him to end their friendship but maybe in the long run it was best that they did. It was time he moved on and realized that she would just never be his.
Bianca sat up confused when he sat up. She sat there in silence for a minute until he started talking. “No, no, Ian… you can’t” she pleaded with him. This couldn’t be happening she thought. She could not be losing the one person she always counted on. “I just wanted to be honest with you; you can’t just end our friendship. Ian, please” her tears flowed freely down her face as she continued to plead with him but he had made up his mind and Bianca knew that unless she said what he wanted her to hear, he would not change his mind. She heard the door open “You promised to always be there for me, you fucking promised!” she shouted but the door had been slammed shut. She sat there for about half an hour just hoping that he would come back but he never did. Now Bianca truly had lost everyone.
