Draft: Eat My Dust - Scenarios
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Cliché Summary: Red dropped off into the UT universe with his brother. He found Sans, became smitten, and then fumbled his way into becoming best friends.
(Adding some setting next time and physical place descriptions. Will probably lessen emotional descriptions.)
Very, very long post.
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Red fell into a fluffier universe after taking a panicked shortcut when he and his brother had been chased down by rabid monsters.
A new Underground had opened beneath his feet, and the literal trip sent him flying face-first into a patch of echo flowers.
His muttered, incredulous, “what?” echoed on his face from the flora before Edge hauled him by the waist and led them away.
They figured out that they weren’t in their world anymore when the monsters gave them a wide berth and strange looks. No one chased them. No one glared. No one muttered curses at them. And, one glaring fact seemed to be the lack of particularly high LV in monsters.
But they hadn’t believed it at first, so Edge waited at the front of the strange copy of their home, and Red went to check his stations.
He didn’t expect to find anyone, but he found another skeleton monster – someone who bore a similarity to him. Someone who wore a blue jacket instead of a black one. Someone whose bones look smooth and untouched by harm.
The other skeleton was talking to a bunch of strangers, making them laugh and earning some gold.
The sight of him had Red’s soul pulsing fiercely in his rib cage. Every instinct and wariness from inside Red retreated the moment the other skeleton glanced at him. One look from the other monster, and it was as if everything would be okay.
Warmth, comfort, good things that made monsters happy – silly things that Red had forgotten. He remembered the better things when they locked eyelights.
The skeleton monster tilted his skull and beckoned him over.
Helpless to his instincts to grab the skeleton and put him into his inventory for safekeeping, Red walked over.
The skeleton introduced himself, and Red properly met Sans. Then he proceeded to accidentally stumbled on his words, and nearly starting a fight with Sans’ customers. He might have apologized by buying the customer a whole damn set of head ‘dogs. He might have even told them to fuck off somewhere else... In nicer words.
He didn’t even mock them that much.
In fact, the cute skeleton looked amused by everything he did, so it mustn’t have been a big deal. Sans even walked him back to the house in Snowdin.
Afterwards, Sans and Papyrus took them in out of the kindness of their souls—mostly Papyrus, as Sans went along with whatever craziness Papyrus would cook up for them to do. Edge became Papyrus’ roommate, while Red attempted to claim the shed when it became very apparent that he would have to room with Sans.
Sans, who still gave him weird feelings that made his soul flutter and stutter—Red would be even more damned if he roomed with him.
But Papyrus brought out the sparkly excited eye sockets and Sans also gave him a single look of suppressed mirth. Seeing bright and beautiful eyelights look at him with a hint of encouragement, Red swiftly caved like an old mine shaft, unable to resist.
In the end, he failed to claim the shed. Instead, he claimed a side of Sans’ small room and a small mattress, with a full view of the other mattress.
Stars.
—
Red sharing a room with Sans sent his magic reeling every morning. Back in his universe, he was used to waking up early. Seeing the rumpled, sleeping Sans on the mattress gave him so many impulses that he had to squash down.
He kept a friendly, respectful distance, but he can’t help but find himself getting closer to his so-called counterpart. Sans made friends with so many monsters, but Red’s the one closest to him. The strangely intense care that Sans contained for the monsters of the Underground called to him. Sans didn’t even notice that he was doing it, spreading himself out so thin just to make other monsters happy.
While Red warmed at the thought that he was one of the monsters that Sans cared about, he made sure to give back the same care. He didn’t want to be indebted to Sans’ thoughtfulness.
It earned him Sans’ look of surprise when Red asked about his day and gave him a burger. A pleasant feeling settled in his soul when Sans told him of his day, as if Red had done something right. He continued doing it, making sure Sans wouldn’t burn himself out from caring too much and completely forgetting about himself. It almost became a habit, but he was too happy about it that it was more like his best hobby turned out to be caring for Sans.
—
After a few days of hanging out with his counterpart, Red’s magic started to build up to the point of restlessness, so he figured out that looking for lost items would be a good idea to get him some coins to pay for share of rent. Sans couldn’t be the only one who had to work down his bones. Rooms and houses required maintenance, and he wasn’t about to skimp out just because Sans was too kind.
His brother had it easier. Rooming with someone who also preferred to keep things neat seemed to heal him from the inside and out. Edge and Papyrus got along so well that Edge finally softened up a little. Papyrus, on the other hand, learned even more disastrous puns that had Sans guffawing on the table while Edge helped served food.
(Edge had been secretly taken up as an immediate Royal Guard after Undyne figured out that he wasn’t as nice as Papyrus.)
Red’s mornings and nights and everything else orbited around the other skeletons. His soul felt as if he had something more to protect, so any information about the brothers that his earholes might pick up, he might have heard them the loudest.
On one particular search for a lost carrot necklace, Red heard that Sans and his brother had arrived in Snowdin.
In the dark, behind their backs, whispers of their neighbours mentioned that they had asserted themselves in the town. Red vaguely noted it down as Sans and Papyrus not being natives of Snowdin. Or, maybe… they came from somewhere else.
Red decided to ignore his last musing and focused on acquiring his legal gold. When he came to collect his coins, the bunny was so happy that she paid him triple, with a bonus. He was so stunned that he didn’t convince her to give him five times the amount.
To Red, Sans’ Underground had better monsters than his previous home. Sure, some monsters stayed the same, and not everyone got along. In fact, some monsters tend to stick to cliques and friend groups—but most monsters from Sans’ universe had more compassion and mercy than the monsters Red had known.
For example, he wouldn’t be attacked for accidentally stepping on someone’s tail—not that Red deliberately went out to offend people. Sure, he just gave off an intimidating vibe, according to the monsters Sans had asked. It wasn’t his fault that his teeth looked threatening, that his gold bling and his gold tooth made him look like a violent thug. Sans called him fluffy all the time, so it wasn’t impossible that some monsters thought he might be nice.
At least Edge knew to avoid him when his mood started to look stormy.
Sans, on the other hand, kept him company. An unnervingly quiet company. Most of the time, Red would even forget that Sans was in the same room if his moodiness got the better of him.
Only after his inner storm passed would he notice Sans again. There would be a paper bag with snacks and drinks next to him, full of good things that Red likes. Sans would make a harmless joke, Red would retort with something stupid, and then Sans would give him a share of snacks, pretending he hadn’t gotten it for Red.
It’s the cute things that Sans does for him that sets his soul on fire.
Red would do anything for him at this point, if only to keep Sans near him. Someone who cared and someone who needs him to care – it was his only addiction. Red had no idea that he was the type to herd a care-giving monster like Sans back home.
—
When Sans requested for a nonexistent item to be found, within an extended time limit, Red had gotten a hint to stay at a place in the capital, somewhere far away from Snowdin. Without hesitation, Red had brought Edge with him and told him to do his guard duties over there while he looked for the so-called “two daggers of a prince.”
He didn’t know why Sans needed him to be away for a certain amount of time. He only followed the instinct that screamed at him to accept the subtle request.
While in the capital, he heard the rumours of a human that had fallen, about how they befriended the people and everyone else. There was a show on TV that he missed, some notifications that he’d ignored. He knew Sans was doing something, keeping him away from the human as if he was making sure the human wasn’t harmful to them—to Red and Edge.
So, Red made an effort to track down information about princes and daggers and found out there was a pair in a story book.
While looking at books, more news spread about the human who befriended monsters… until they reached the castle. Everyone felt it, as if something binding had been lifted. A fight of a human and a boss monster.
Red couldn’t tell anyone that they disappeared in front of him, absorbed by whatever powerful creature that dusted monsters out of nowhere. That, after some time, they’d reappeared as if nothing had happened.
He's just relieved to know that they came back—it meant that Sans would be fine.
By the time Red found more information about two daggers and a prince, the Barrier had been broken, monsters lost a few minutes of their memories, and the news made it sound like Sans had been a part of the monster group who helped it happen.
Red bought the story book at a low price and then hauled his ass to the Barrier. Edge tailed him, keeping up with Red’s unfathomable speed.
He sought Sans’ form from the many monsters gathered next to where The Barrier should have been. Sans stood beside some tall fluffy monster, talking to her, before Red nearly tackled him and grabbed him by the shoulders.
“whoa—”
“are you okay?!” Red’s sockets were wide and unflinching as it roved over the round skull, the blue jacket, and the fluffy white slippers. “you didn’t get hurt?”
“i’m fine, red.” But Sans didn’t push him away, allowing Red to aggressively maneuver him.
Red triple-checked the bones and cloth and everything that was Sans, hoping he didn’t miss anything. He even went as far as to check his stats to see his full HP. Sans didn’t look hurt. His soul didn’t even mumble a hint of pain. But Red couldn’t stop his anxiety from taking over, because Sans had been near a human and that was dangerous.
When Red found nothing wrong, he slumped over with a groan and rested his forehead on Sans’ shoulder, his soul beating erratically in his ribcage. “you’re okay,” he breathed out. “fuck, you’re okay.”
“oh, man,” Sans released a chuckle, mittens and arms coming up to embrace him. Red grumbled out his worries, muffling his swearing into Sans’ jacket, hugging him back anyway. “yeah. i'm all good. no damage here, bud.”
Red pulled back and checked his sweet—his buddy all over. There wasn’t a hint of anything wrong on him, but Red started sweating anyway.
“i ran all the way here from the cap to get your damned book.”
“oh, you found a book?” The look of interest in Sans’ eyelights seemed real. Red narrowed his eye sockets at him.
“fifty gold.”
“damn, no discount?”
“no discounts for idiots who made me worry,” he reminded.
Sans chuckled at him. “alright, deal.” Surprisingly, Sans didn’t even try to bargain.
Red greedily pocketed the gold and handed over the book. His buddy flipped through it, skimming the pages with an intensity that belied his actual thoughts on the subject. Red suspected that he really had been looking for something related to princes and daggers.
“how’s it?”
Sans looked up. “worth more than fifty gold,” he teased. Red groaned. “might be even more than a hundred.”
Red sputtered in protest. “what, really?” All of a sudden, the fifty gold he’d gotten seemed like spare change.
“yup.” Sans winked at him as he put the book in his inventory. Red’s mind went still and silent, seeing the blatant appreciation on Sans’ face. “it’s priceless. thanks, red.”
Red ducked his head and growled out a humbled, “no problem.”
“…still no discount?”
“no! you can’t just ask that after a done deal, you numbskull!” Red barked at him, careful to keep his inventory shut. Sans wouldn’t actually rob him blind, right? Red would willingly handed over his hard-earned coins, but he wanted to save them for emergencies.
Sans laughed, and it was such a stupid blessed sound that sent pulses of affection into Red’s soul.
“fine, i'll make you a burger,” Red mumbled pitifully, thinking of the magic food he could craft now that he could buy some tools for it. “but i get first bite.”
“sounds good to me,” Sans agreed quickly. Too quickly that Red narrowed his eye sockets at him again.
“ten gold,” he tacked on.
With a humouring smile, Sans handed over more coins. Red shoved it into his pockets, pleased that he’d taken gold from someone who hoarded it like a dragon. He knew how much Sans saved up money for a lot of things, but never saved up for himself. His best friend barely had anything in their room, so Red had to figure out the things Sans liked so he could make him just a little bit happier.
It was fine, Red thought. He would just take care of Sans so he wouldn’t starve or be without a roof over his head. He knew how to make a shed and he knew where to find wax to keep it waterproof. He could make a house somewhere and make sure to keep Sans and his brother entertained. Edge could even play with Papyrus.
It would be perfect.
A bunch of more giggling came from somewhere else.
Immediately, Red noticed that he wasn’t alone with his best friend. He looked up and saw a tall goat lady staring at him and Sans with mirth in her purplish eyes.
“whaddya want?” Red growled at her, baring his teeth.
“whoa, easy there.” Sans held him closer, as if to stop him from picking a fight. Red allowed him, but couldn’t stop glaring at the goat lady. “that’s just tori, red,” Sans said, as if it explained everything.
But with Red noticing his tone of voice and his ease, he realized what Sans meant.
Red stopped being aggressive. “is she that lady from the ruins?” He eyed the goat monster critically, and then turned his head to look at Sans. “your friend?”
“yup, friend.”
“ugh, fine.” Red clenched his teeth and threw a friendly menacing smile at the goat monster, who still looked at him like he was the funniest joke in the world. “hey, m’names red. i'll be nice because you’re sans’ other buddy.”
Toriel keened into her paw. “I thought Sans had no body.”
Red cracked a grin at the joke as Sans chuckled. “alright. you’re okay, door lady.”
Toriel started braying, and it seemed like the sound of it sent Sans into hysterics. Red calmly held the other skeleton while he lost it. Toriel had crouched down the ground and covered her face as she snorted into her hands.
While they were laughing, Red noticed Papyrus and Edge next to him, covering their faces as if they didn’t want to be associated with such poor quality jokes. Red was about to make a stupid joke, a really horribly embarrassing one—
But then something cold and dark pinged his senses, which caused him to stand straight in attention. As Sans’ laughter faded, Red’s eyelights sought the presence that grated on his magic.
He found it.
A human. A small one, wearing stripes – no, it wasn’t human. Red knew it wasn’t human anymore, but something else. Something that he couldn’t read well.
And, anything that he couldn’t read well was an enemy.
He hauled Sans away, skittering backwards from the striped abomination. He left Toriel standing at a distance, obviously stunned.
“what the fuck is that?” Red growled under his breath, eyelights locked onto the meat bag walking around and talking to other monsters.
“oh, that’s the…” Sans trailed off, like he was trying to figure out how to name the meat bag. “it’s the human.”
Red snapped his gaze onto Sans and hoped his expression gave away how much he didn’t believe his words.
“MY FRIEND THINKS THEY’RE AN ANGEL,” Papyrus whispered loudly.
“AN ANGEL?” Edge echoed with clear disgust.
“YES, AN ANGEL!”
Red highly doubted it.
“that’s not human,” he whispered harshly to Sans, dragging him closer and away from the strange thing walking around. At the corner of his sockets, he saw Edge doing the same thing with Papyrus, following Red’s wariness with practice. “not an angel either.”
If there was an angel, it would have been Sans’ brother, someone who was too nice for the Royal Guard, but had the power and control to be one.
“just a basic possession with a vessel, i think,” Sans whispered back—as if that was fucking normal, what the hell Sans!
Red clutched him tightly, fearing the worst with Sans’ endless patience to care while pretending to not care. He couldn’t let Sans get attached to that thing.
“you had better not befriended that creep!” he blurted out.
Sans chortled at him. It’s a completely traitorous action, in Red’s humble opinion. “come on, they’re kinda funny. they called tori mom and then flirted with her.”
Red choked on his roiling magic and it sputtered out into embers. “who the fuck would do that?”
“the kiddo kept doing it.”
“oh, no,” Red groaned. Sans was attached. He nicknamed that thing.
Sans continued as if he hadn’t heard him. “they also took papyrus out on a date,” Sans added, as if it was funny that a meat bag had taken his brother out. His brother, who could've been hurt by some strange abomination. Red’s grip tightened on him. “even alphys went out on a play date with them.”
“who else?” Red bit out, seeing a horrible, terrible, no-good pattern to the meat bag’s flirting. “who else did that thing flirt with.”
“some monsters here and there. tsunderplane—” Red groaned again “—and there was a moldsmol, and maybe blooky—”
“so just about anyone, huh?” Red’s magic sharpened inside his soul. He glanced down at Sans, who chilled in his arms like he wasn’t being cradled like a princess. “did they go after your bones, too?”
“no way!” Sans released a bout of laughing denials. Red relaxed.
“good,” he grumped, placing Sans back down on his fluffy slippers. He didn’t remember when he’d started carrying Sans. His buddy hadn’t even protested. He’d allowed it to happen, probably living up to his patient attribute. “i don’t wanna watch real-time romance between a meat bag and a bag of bones.”
“meat bag,” Sans keened, and then he was gone, leaning against Red as he laughed.
After Sans calmed down, Red nudged him over to the female goat boss monster, telling him, “go back there and make some friends.” Then, he pointed towards the shadows of trees nearby. “i'll keep watch from there. see if that thing has any funny ideas.”
Sans smiled at him. Amused, curious, and confused. Red liked to see it since it meant that he’s surprised his buddy.
“sure.” Sans looked over to Toriel and the others and glanced back at Red. “you’ll come by later?”
Sans’ quiet words sounded a little worried.
“yeah,” Red soothed, placing a hand on Sans’ back. Some kind of tension must have been hanging on his friend since Sans relaxed under his touch. “i won’t leave. i'll fetch ya when it’s… gone.” Red shuddered.
“okay.”
But the thing hung out with them far too long. By the end of the day, Sans had to talk to monsters, the meat bag, and then the monarch, Asgore. He juggled more responsibilities the more Red watched him, seeing him burdened with work, and seeing him accept it.
He had to put a stop to it.
Red stepped out of the shadows and sauntered over to stand beside his buddy while Asgore wasn’t looking. Sans gave him a strange look, but kept quiet, and already he looked tons better with laughter in his eyelights.
When the Asgore looked back, he jolted back in surprise. Red offered a sharp grin at the obvious confusion on Asgore’s face.
“Oh, Howdy!” the monarch greeted. “Who might you be?”
“red, sans’ agent and acting assistant,” he offered up the lie. Sans stiffened up next to him. “just wanted to discuss the salary for the things you need my client to do.”
Asgore’s maw opened and closed. Red could vaguely hear Toriel wheezing out her laughter somewhere behind him.
She didn’t stop him from making a fool out of the king, so Red trusted her just a tiny bit more.
“That—You—I mean, certainly,” Asgore finally managed to mumble. “Of course. Let’s talk.”
“wait, you’ll need to read a few things.”
Red grabbed some papers from his inventory. He handed it to the monarch, who took them.
“it’s my client’s schedule—” Sans choked on air, so Red patted the side of his jacket “—he'll need a week’s notice to a minimum of three days if you need him. he needs the time to get ready, y’know? talent doesn’t come outta nowhere. my client’s popular, everyone wants a piece of him, so you gotta contact me to have you scheduled for a meeting.”
“This schedule is indeed filled to the brim!” Asgore wiped a paw down his beard, squinting at the document. “Oh, please, forgive me. I should have contacted you first. Red, was it? Sans does some work for me as a judge—” Red’s mind stuttered to a halt in shock “—but I see that I have been neglecting so much. Caring for monsters… I’ll have to add this to the account. Please wait a moment.”
Asgore trudged away with a copy of Red’s stalker notes on Sans, leaving both skeletons sweating.
“…was that really my schedule?” Sans asked after a long pause.
Red confirmed it with a nod, and then asked, “do you really work as a judge?”
“oh, yeah.”
“why?”
“figured a stable income would come from the castle if i worked for them. they noticed i can read monsters well and… yep.” Sans pocketed his hands and yawned. “they don’t need me that much. just a few cases here and there, and the other normal judges can deal with the easy ones.”
“the other normal judges,” Red repeated, “compared to what?”
“uh… me?” Sans tilted his skull. “the official one.”
“dude, you’re that high up?” But, Sans and Papyrus lived in Snowdin, the cheapest place in the Underground. Was his pay from the castle too low? For someone as cheat-like observant and scarily accurate as Sans, he should be paid twice as much!
“’s just a title, red.” Sans fidgeted with the edge of his sleeve as Red stared at him. Sans was underpaid. He didn’t understand that he was supposed to be swimming in gold. “okay, maybe a little higher,” Sans finally admitted.
Red gritted his teeth at the unfairness of the world. “and what the hell does he want you to do now?”
“oh, just…” Sans laughed. “politics. i'll be convincing humans to take our side, make sure we get more leverage over them. i need to start planning how we’ll be introduced to the world, how we act if they have mages or don’t have mages.”
“i'm helping you.”
“what?” Sans looked taken aback, and then his expression softened. “red, it’s fine. i know how to do this—”
“no, no,” Red interrupted, furrowing his browridge. This was exactly what Red did for a living back in his universe. “i'm good at politics. or, at least getting an edge over people… and being subtle and threatening. yeah, i'm normally like this, but... if you need me to get leverage over some stupid humans, i can help you.”
After a moment, Sans slowly asked, “how much will that be?”
“five gold,” Red demanded, palm open.
Sans seemed to reflexively hand over the gold to him. Then, as if being cheated, his buddy blinked and gave him a look of confusion.
“it’s a super discount,” Red explained, omitting the existence of his heavy affection for the other skeleton, who worried over monsters like he was responsible for them.
“is it monthly or…?”
“one-time deal,” Red grumbled, and then added, “no refunds!” when Sans looked like he was about to protest. The other skeleton still looked like he wanted to pay him more, but stopped when Red hissed out a warning.
Red clenched his teeth and threw a hard glare at Asgore. He saw the monarch shivering as he talked to some short turtle and hoped he felt Red’s plans crawling down his back.
“i'm gonna rob him blind for you, starshine,” he swore vehemently.
Sans stammered something at him, but Red barely heard it as he made more plans to drain Asgore’s treasury dry.
Every single coin Asgore kept in his treasury would be Sans’ by the end of the week.
He’ll have a hell of a good time while he was at it.
—
“i found the perfect place,” Red announced at the dinner table while he folded his cards over. “you know the little town down our mountain? that place.”
Edge scoffed at him. “I DOUBT THE HUMANS WOULD APPROVE OF US MOVING SO CLOSE TO THEIR HOMES.”
Red rubbed his hands together as he cackled. “yeah, but i convinced a guy to give me all his deeds.” It only cost a few coins.
Sans dropped his cards. “no way.”
“WAIT… THE ONLY WAY WE COULD MOVE IS…” Edge gasped.
“that’s right,” Red crowed loudly. “this guy fucked a town over by secretly owning it, and now i got the deeds and that town is ours!”
Papyrus burst into happy tears, and Sans slumped against Red, shuddering. Edge looked like every holiday in the world happened all in one day.
“that’s great,” Sans whispered against his neck, sending shivers down Red’s spine. “that’s… we finally got something back.”
“i'm planning to find another place,” Red mentioned. “we can’t just own one town, at least a few more can hold that many of us, right?”
Sans pulled away from him. “hey, speaking of that… we have some, uh, important papers that you might want to take a look at.”
Red glanced at him, and saw a weird expression on Sans’ face. “what’s it about?”
An angelic smile belonging to some kind of demon appeared on Sans’ face. “old land property.”
“what…?”
“OLD LAND PROPERTY PAPERS?” Edge whispered.
And then it hit Red. Old land papers meant a higher official form of ownership.
A sharp gasp came from Red. He almost couldn’t believe it—but this was Sans, and he wouldn’t joke around if he had an edge over the people that needed a beating. Just owning those papers would give Red enough leverage over humans who had been hounding at them to move back into the mountain.
Red hadn’t even gotten to the royal library yet, and now they had papers that could bring in more land. His buddy had saved him the time to do the tedious meetings!
“we’ll get those lands,” Red promised Sans, already thinking of how he can quicken the process.
“red,” his best friend chuckled, a low rumble that could rattle bones, “it’s written in blue ink.”
Red’s soul halted in his rib cage in shock. “you mean…”
The grin on his buddy’s face turned devious. “it’s magically binding.”
Without hesitation, Red grabbed his buddy by the shoulders. Sans laughed. “where?! whose name is on it, and how the fuck did they figure out how to do that?”
A scroll appeared in front of him, attached to the gloved hand of The Great Papyrus. Red offered him appreciative eyelights before he snatched the scroll and unrolled it.
He shuddered at the human seal on the document, but he ignored it in favour of the information written in black ink. Skimming the text, he noted down the lands and the proper names for it. As he read the locations, a cold sensation spread through him.
At the bottom, written in blue ink was a signature that looked oddly familiar—no, two strange signatures. Two of them in a symbol he didn’t recognize, but had little quirks that reminded him of something.
He couldn’t recall, but it felt like he’d seen it somewhere before.
“it’s all the ones in ebott.” Red shivered and held the scroll tentatively. There was something weird about it. Something he didn’t want to point out.
“IS THE LAND YOU PROCURED THE ONLY ONE THAT’S NOT ON THE LIST?” Papyrus pointed out the obvious. Red wanted to palm his face at the question.
“i, uh, yeah,” Red answered. Sans leaned over his shoulder to look at the list. “what, uh… what is this? why’s it so convenient?”
“OH! I KNOW THAT NAME!” Edge piped up from above Red. “THAT’S THE FIRST PRINCE, THE FIRST CHILD OF THE FIRST HUMAN KING. HE WAS A RENOWNED MONSTER SUPPORTER, A POWERFUL SEER, AND THE WHITE MAGE'S LOVER.”
Sans wheezed at his side, as if surprised by Edge’s words.
Red sputtered at the end of Edge’s introduction. “why the hell is the last part important?” So what if he had a lover? Why did it matter?
Edge offered up a look of long-suffering, as if blaming him for skipping minor monster history lessons.
Papyrus, who stood beside him, beamed. “ACTUALLY, RED, THE FIRST HUMAN PRINCE WAS A ROMANTIC. MOST OF HIS JOURNALS ARE WRITTEN IN A CODE ONLY KNOWN TO HIM AND THE WHITE MAGE. IN SOME OF OUR HISTORY BOOKS, IT IS THE WHITE MAGE THAT FULLY SUPPORTED MONSTERS EVEN BEFORE THE BARRIER WENT UP.”
His brother added, “AND THE FIRST HUMAN PRINCE ACTIVELY SUPPORTED THE WHITE MAGE, WHICH MEANT MONSTERS HAD A LOT OF PROTECTION WHEN THEY STAYED IN HIS LANDS—”
“everything around mt. ebott, right? ‘cause princes have princedoms.” Red cut him off, waving the scroll at him.
He had studied old maps from Sans’ collection of human history. The other skeleton had a vault of it hidden in his inventory, which turned out to be an important leverage when it came to quoting human-monster treaties broken by the humans. The reparation, the consequences, and the massive loss of human mages due to human greed.
Only a few mages kept their power. But due to signed documents from the past, most of it became passive. The only few who can do any kind of active magic could barely grow a flower on the spot. Some were magically aware, but unable to do any magic at all. Some could do magic, but had no control over it—
The signature! Red took in the form of the blue signatures, the two of them. The prince’s signature, and the unknown other one. The sharper symbol had been on many old papers, like it was some kind of insignia or seal representing a person. Red remembered many of the documents with the same seal. Most of the old papers had turned out to be useful in getting an edge in monster protection.
It was as if the prince had known that monsters would need the lands. Had he seen it?
Do seers really exist? Red didn’t believe in future-seeing magic. But if it was true, then the human prince had planned for this very moment… from hundreds of years ago.
All because he wanted to support monsters.
“this thing is…” Red trails off a little, “this is official. with this, we have the whole STATE. the guy made it permanent – he basically wrote down that the state is monster land until all the stars disappear, which is impossible.”
“yeah,” Sans mumbled next to him. “we got really lucky.”
“so, where’d you guys find it?” Red questioned.
“OH, WELL…”
“someplace not here,” said Sans.
Then, the two skeletons from the semi-peaceful universe became extremely busy. They stopped looking at him and started looking elsewhere.
Papyrus immediately got up from the table. “WAIT HERE, I’LL BE GRABBING SNACKS FROM THE FRIDGE!”
Sans quickly picked up his cards. “do you think i should call or fold?
“fold,” said Red in reflex when he recalled the faces of Sans’ cards. However, remembering his question, he straightened up. “hey, wait a minute—”
“SANS, COME HELP ME IN THE KITCHEN!” shouted Papyrus, who made lots of weird banging metal noises in the kitchen.
“sorry, guys. gotta help a bro out.” Sans moved out of his seat and headed straight for the kitchen, looking entirely unbothered.
They left Red and Edge at the table, as if their actions weren’t very obviously two skeletons avoiding the topic.
“DID THEY NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?” Edge mused, eyeing the kitchen as if he was greatly entertained by something.
Red parted his teeth and then closed it. “i guess it’ll be a mystery to us, huh?”
Despite the deep curiosity churning inside him, he decided to let it lie.
For now.
—
After several more of mysterious sounds from the kitchen, Papyrus and Sans came out with trays of… snacks inside plastic containers. Sliced thin meats, cheese, and crackers.
“…aren’t those the little packaged food that humans sell in their stores?”
Red hadn’t expected anything good coming from visiting a grocery store full of humans. The shrieking scared humans made him want to dust them, and the flashes of phones trying to get a picture of them had easily pissed him off. Sans and Edge had to grab interesting stuff from the store – with his intimidating brother and the unassuming Sans, it went well, but this he hadn’t heard about.
“yep, but, uh…” Sans lowered the tray to a space on the table free of their cards. Then, he reclaimed his seat next to Red. “for this, we used monster food. just copied it. last time we visited, the humans… got too excited to see us.”
“THEY WERE SCREAMING,” Edge dryly exposed. Papyrus winced hard. “SOME MEDIUM-SIZED HUMANS WERE ASKING ABOUT A SKELETON ARMY—”
Sans snorted. “i think that one was a really old joke.”
Edge ignored him. “AND WHILE IT’S FLATTERING, I DON’T WANT MY PHOTOGENIC FACE ON SOME HUMAN'S BLOG. THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASK FOR MY PERMISSION!”
Papyrus gasped in horror, and Red chuckled in amusement.
“did ya beat ‘em up?” wondered Red.
Edge glowered at the table like the trays had to be set on fire. “…NO, OUR REPUTABLE, EASYGOING SKELETON STOPPED ME SIXTEEN TIMES FROM TEACHING THEM A LESSON.”
Disappointed, Red sighed. “yeah, we can’t actually do any fights ‘cause some humans barely know to fight.”
“yeah, so…” the reputable, easygoing skeleton yawned cutely, and then continued, “after sixteen, i just gave up.”
Edge's skull lifted upwards with a smug smile. “INSTEAD OF ME, OUR EASYGOING SKELETON TAUGHT THEM A LESSON.”
Papyrus groaned in dismay, and Red gasped in excitement.
“what lesson?” he demanded.
“THE THREAT OF THE SOFTER SIDE OF EMOTIONS.” Edge sighed wistfully, as if remembering a beautiful memory. He looked like every slight against him had been avenged ten-fold. “EVERYONE SEEMED TO PANIC AFTER SANS SPOKE TO THEM IN A VERY GENTLE VOICE THAT THAT THEY WERE DOING ILLEGAL THINGS THAT HE COULD SUE THEM FOR – HE EVEN VERY KINDLY TOLD THEM THE AMOUNT OF FEES AND FINES THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE TO PAY.”
Red leaned his elbows on the table and propped his skull on his palms, awed.
Sans snickered beside his brother as if he hadn’t done something cool. “papyrus was skimming a law book for ways to defend monsters without harming humans,” Sans told them, and Papyrus nodded in confirmation.
“MY BROTHER THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA FOR A BEDTIME STORY.” Papyrus threw Sans a look full of exasperation. “THOUGH I HAVE NO RECOLLECTION OF SPECIFIC LAWS, AT THE VERY LEAST, I KNOW THAT MINORITIES HAVE SOME SORT OF POWER OVER THE MAJORITY. MONSTERS ARE ENDANGERED IF WE GO BY MONSTER TYPES.”
“just that one sitting with the local law book, huh?” Red mused, glancing at Sans. The other skeleton shrugged, grinning. “what did the humans do?”
“PEOPLE DELETED THE PHOTOGRAPHS UNDER THE THREAT OF A MINOR GROUP LOOKING TO SUE THEM FOR ALL OF THEIR MONEY. THE SCREAMING ONES HAD TO BE FORCED OUT THE STORE BECAUSE OF DISCRIMINATION.”
“doesn’t stop them from being mean,” the so-called reputable, easygoing skeleton mumbled, leaning his arms on the table. “but then i reminded them that we’re in a specific state, and some old imperial laws are still soulfully bound.”
Red raised a browridge at Sans’ words. That would mean… a human-ruling Arcana had been bestowed to someone, and that they’d used it to trap humans in a law.
What a cool human.
Edge smiled maniacally. “AND THAT’S WHEN SOME HUMANS FULLY LEFT THE STORE. I BET THEY WERE THE BAD ONES.”
“what’s that mean?” asked Red.
The grin that twisted on Sans’ face looked menacing. “it means that humanity as a whole won’t be doing bad things to us if they don’t want to get dunked on,” Sans happily told Red, who hummed his delight at the news. “i told you, remember? i worked for fluffybuns. there are books about monster-humans laws that are still in effect.”
“can i get my hands on it as your agent?” asked the fake agent, Red. “for verification.”
“sure,” answered his fake client, Sans. “let’s head to the royal library after seeing the house.”
“ACTUALLY, WHERE IS THE HOUSE DEED?” Edge asked.
Red grabbed the specific deed from his inventory and handed it over to Edge.
His brother started to read the deed, and then made a face at the end. “WELL. I MEAN, I DO NOT MIND, BUT…”
Red blinked at his brother’s flustered stammering.
“what is it?”
“THE NAME YOU PUT DOWN ON THE NEW OWNERSHIP…”
Papyrus leaned over to read the document and his brother tilted it over. Papyrus’ eye sockets magically bulged out with tears.
“OH, RED, YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO!” he exclaimed, and then Red found himself being dragged into the arms of the excitable skeleton before he was returned to the ground. “YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR YOURSELF!”
Red stared at them in confusion. “done what?” he questioned the room.
Edge handed over the document, but before Red could think of grabbing it, Sans took it.
“…oh,” his best friend muttered, and then averted his eyelights like he was shy.
“what is it?” He was desperate to know what the hell he did wrong – or right – because Sans was acting like Red did something so nice that it made him speechless. He watched Sans shuffle on his slippers and then give the paper back to him. Red took it, but couldn’t take his gaze away from Sans’ rare expression of bashfulness.
“papyrus is right,” Sans told him, still with that air of shyness that made Red’s soul hammer in his rib cage. “you don’t have to make it up to us.”
When Red dared to glance at the deed, he lost his voice.
He’d written Sans’ name on the deed as the sole owner. Red blinked once, twice, and then magic sweat gathered on his vertebrae.
Had he been daydreaming of a life with Sans when he’d signed the deed? Wait—yeah, he would do that.
Fuck.
“i, uh, really didn’t think about it.”
Sans started laughing, and then the rest of them followed suit, because of course Red hadn’t really thought about it. Because it was Sans and sometimes Red even signed some documents for him while he rested out his wrung-out bones.
“oh, man,” his best friend wheezed, “you’re really working too hard.”
Red now remembered that he had been so excited to give Sans a roof over his head that he’d just sign away the deed under his name.
“yeah, but it’s yours!” he declared officially and firmly, handing back the deed.
Sans took the paper, and then he paused. “if you give this to... us, then where will you live now?”
Red blankly stared at him. He hadn’t thought of living elsewhere at all.
“uh...”
Sans stared back. “…red, did you make yourself homeless?”
“…no, there’s more.” Red had other papers for other houses. In all honesty, he had simply thought he’d be living with Sans and his brother. “i, uh, forgot.”
“YOU FORGOT?” Papyrus gasped.
“WHY?” came his brother’s demand.
“i mean,” Red stammered, “i got used to living with you guys, so, uh, i didn’t think to check the other ones.”
Sans’ eye sockets were wide. Red could somehow tell that he was happy, and Red’s soul did flips because he caused that. “really? so, you want to stay with us?”
He went straight to the point of what Red implied. Scarily accurate as always.
“uh, yeah,” Red admitted. “i don’t… i mean, i can’t –” sleep without you? He fumbled for words, furrowing his browridge in frustration when he couldn’t string together a good excuse. “i just wanted to stay with you guys,” he went for the truth.
The tearful Great Papyrus sobbed, “WE WANT TO STAY WITH YOU GUYS TOO!”
“yeah,” Sans agreed. He looked genuinely happy.
Edge teared up, and then he sniffled at Papyrus. “REALLY? WE CAN STAY?”
“OF COURSE, YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND!”
“i mean, we won’t ever mind,” Sans added, and then asked Red, “have you thought this through? we’re a rowdy pair of bros. if you’re sure…”
“you’re familiar,” Red affirmed, “and you’re good guys, and, and… i wanna watch papyrus cook food to see you try to eat it, and then i want to watch my bro trade weekly rights with papyrus over some stupid thing.” Red’s excited rambling overtook him as more ridiculous ideas came up in his mind. “we can scam asgore for more gold and then sign away some of his duties to some other idiot because he’s too stupid to delegate. then we’ll ask over your grillby and that lady over for a housewarming –” Sans snickered and Edge sighed loudly with Papyrus “– party because that’s what you do with friends who play with fire.”
“you win,” Sans sighed and gave him two mitten-wrapped thumbs-up.
Red grinned smugly.
“WE’RE ALREADY INVITING PEOPLE, BUT HOW BIG IS THIS HOUSE, EXACTLY?” Edge tapped his gloved fingers on the table as he pondered. “HOW BIG IS THE LIVING ROOM, THE KITCHEN, AND THE REST—HOW MANY ROOMS DOES IT HAVE?”
“there’s like a big master bedroom,” Red described as he remembered, “and there’s a workroom beside it, so that has to be sans’ room. then two big bedrooms for you and papyrus, and then the kitchen’s big enough to fit a large table, so you guys could have fun cooking. there’s a basement with a cellar, some of it used for storage for the old things, and, uh, yeah –” at the blank look on his brother’s face, Red sighed “– it’s probably better to show you guys.”
“AND WHERE WOULD YOUR ROOM BE?” his brother demanded.
Confidently, Red parted his teeth to answer it, but then he paused. He counted the bedrooms in his head and ended up with a number of three.
Three bedrooms. One for Edge, one for Papyrus, and one for Sans – and where the hell did his supposed room go?
Red pondered over this mystery, sweating bullets of magic on his skull.
“red,” Sans started in a grave tone, “did you forget to give yourself a room?”
Red floundered for an answer. “i, uh, no, i – i just forgot that i could have a single room.” Sans snorted, and Red wished he could smack his past self for being so distracted. “i thought i would just room with you in the big room ‘cause there were only three bedrooms.”
Something he said must have set Sans off, because he started giggling madly, and Red shrunk in his seat, realizing that he missed something obvious.
“y-y-you didn’t remember that you could have a single room,” his best friend rumbled, and then covered his face with the cute white mittens he wore. “y-you didn’t even think to turn the workroom into a bedroom, you just headed straight for the bigger one with me –”
“hey, i, uh, wait –” Red couldn’t even defend himself under the amused gaze of the other two taller skeletons. He threw up his hands. “alright, fine. i had other things in my mind! too busy! d’ya know how many deeds that guy owned? a skele-ton!”
Sans kept chortling like he couldn’t stop or he’d be dead. Red slowly became amused when Sans tilted over, and Papyrus went at his side so he wouldn’t slide down to the carpet.
“okay,” Sans gasped breathlessly, clinging on Papyrus, “okay, red. come be my roomie.”
“i'll braid your hair and paint your nails,” Red told him in his most serious voice. “i'll even bring my brother over. i heard he has a friend that might live next door.”
Sans promptly lost it and slid to the floor, laughing. Papyrus sighed like he was disappointed at Red’s stupid joke.
Red watched him for a second before he turned to Edge and Papyrus. “so, what’re you guys gonna need for your room? or, hell, maybe even the kitchen. i need a list.”
Papyrus and Edge looked so excited that they darted away to look for papers and pens.
Seeing them go, Red headed over to where Sans had collapsed onto the floor. The other skeleton kept trying so hard to stop his laughter, but whenever he looked at Red, something would set him off and he’d start laughing again.
Red decided to destroy Sans today, so he sat down on the carpet and smiled innocently at his best friend.
“so,” he began with a light tone, “now that you have a new workroom, will you actually work in it?”
Sans must have choked during the sharp noise he made. Red was satisfied that Sans’ silly laughter kept going. It was nice to see him this happy for a change, instead of worrying over every monster in the Underground.
“i remember you have a workshop, but i haven’t seen any customers lately.”
“red, no,” Sans gasped, and then off he went again into the land of laughs.
Red waited for a beat until Sans’ wheezing calmed down and then slyly added, “y’know, if we put in a pool table and add some card games and invite a lotta people over, we might even call it a bet room—”
“oh, stars,” his best friend cried out through his laughter, “a gambling den!” And then it wasn’t just Sans losing his mind at room jokes. Red joined him in a second, holding his sides.
When their brothers returned from their search of pen and paper, Edge and Papyrus put them back in place in their seats while they were trading horrendously stupid room puns.
After they were handed pieces of papers to write down what they wanted for their rooms, Red noticed that Sans barely put anything in his, so he resolved to figure out what other things his buddy might like during their shopping.
—
“the antique dealer said that it’s a really old house,” Red told Sans when they’d reached the house, “so he preserved everything inside. some items are in the storage downstairs so it wouldn’t be touched by the elements, but i really doubt it survived.”
“cool place.”
“it is.”
But Sans still stared at the house like he’d seen a ghost. Red was starting to think he should have picked the mansion that guy owned at the Green Lake.
“you chose it?” His friend sounded hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure if he could ask.
Red dragged over the line of floating suitcases, blinking at the old but well-maintained house. “yeah. out of all the deeds that guy owned, this one has the best view and it seems really homey, y’know?”
“it looks amazing,” Sans faintly said, and then he disappeared inside.
After floating more of their boxes inside, Red found Sans in the living room, sitting on the floor and looking at the fireplace. He was wiping a cloth on the metal bars, cleaning it – an unusual action, coming from a lazybones.
“y’like that part?” Red hedged a guess.
Sans glanced up, and for some reason, Red thought he looked soft and warm and inviting. He nearly ran into a wall because he wasn’t looking at where he was going.
“yeah. we didn’t have one at the other house,” Sans told him. But there was something odd with the way he said it, as if there was some other meaning that Red couldn’t decipher. “i thought i wouldn’t –” Sans paused for a moment, glancing away “– i thought i wouldn’t see a fireplace again, i guess.”
Somehow, he sounded sad. Red didn’t want him to be upset anymore. If Sans liked the hearth that much, then Red would help clean it up.
Immediately, Red shoved away some boxes to get to him, using magic to air out the chimney. Old ashes and grime scraped off the inner walls, leaving only clean stone behind. Collecting all that gunk, he shoved the trash out through a small shortcut at the giant bin outside of their new home.
Then, as he polished the inner cavity of the chimney, he heard Sans gasp.
Red looked at him. “what – oh.”
His eye sockets widened at the mantelpiece. The neat rows of fancy gems embedded on it were glowing. A strong red colour, just like his magic.
“that wasn’t… i didn’t know it could do that,” Red mumbled, and then realized that the stones must have activated when he used magic. “is it supposed to do that?”
His buddy stared at the glowing stones. “…yeah. that shouldn’t have happened.”
“what’s it for?” Red stepped closer to Sans, placing a his hand on his shoulder in case he needed to drag him into a shortcut. “do you have an idea?”
Sans gazed at him with a desperately searching gaze. Red stayed put and wondered if there was a side-effect from the glowing stones. Maybe Sans wanted to look for some damage on his bones? He scanned his buddy down, but he couldn’t see anything wrong.
“…no,” the other skeleton finally answered, and then, slowly, he smiled – well, he grinned – the kind of smile that made Sans look incredibly pleased, like all the good things he wanted came true all at once. Red had no idea why, and it bothered him that he didn’t know how to make it happen again.
“maybe it’s a magic detector,” Red guessed.
“i think it’s like an extra light,” Sans replied, still grinning so genuinely that Red’s soul felt stuck in place. “the old owners probably made it so they don’t need to use the fireplace.”
“so, it’s warm?” Red hurried to the mantelpiece and felt up the stones with his magic.
The temperature was hot, and some of it seemingly came from inside the hearth. Maybe there were more stones hidden inside to keep it warm.
He struck gold by choosing this house. If there were household magic things like this in the house, then maybe…
“there’s more,” said his friend, who got up from the floor.
“right? i was just thinking that.”
Sans walked over to Red to stand beside him, leaning against him bodily, tilted on him. It’s not any of his familiar moves, so Red stiffened for a second before he relaxed at the pressure at his side.
Sans acted as if he did this all the time. “we should see the rest of the house,” he suggested.
Red swallowed, glancing at Sans. The other skeleton looked so relaxed, leaning on him like he’s a solid wall, or a wall of cushion.
“yeah,” he croaked out, and then cleared his nonexistent throat. He shifted a little, adjusting so Sans had a more comfortable stay. He wanted Sans to stay. “i mean, there’s probably more,” he mused, hopeful.
Sans gave a pretty smile at him that had his soul pounding hard. Then, Sans hooked their arms and grabbed his hand, twining their gloved fingers together.
Immediately, Red’s thoughts scattered like wild dust bunnies in face of a sudden tornado.
Oh. Stars.
They were holding hands in front of a magic fireplace – Sans had taken the initiative to hold his hand in front of a magical fireplace.
Why? Red thought desperately of what he’d done to receive the gesture, but he couldn’t figure it out. How the hell was he supposed to replicate this, without making it seem obvious, when he didn’t even know how he'd earned it?
“come on,” Sans called to him while their hands were locked together like how Red had always wanted to hold his hand and – was he dreaming? “let’s find the rest.”
Red followed him in a daze. “we are?” he heard himself say, completely breathless.
“yup,” said the cute skeleton, who tugged at their laced fingers. Sans led them away from the living room and through a doorway to a hall.
Red dropped his gaze to where they’re joined, stumbling after him. They were really holding hands, and it wasn’t a dream. Sans had held his hand first and Red’s soul might burst from how overwhelming it felt. He didn’t want to mention it. What if he spooked Sans away from holding his hand? He’d regret it forever.
“oh, there’s one right there.”
Red followed Sans’ gesture at the obscure corner of the hallway where he would have never checked. Little dots of glowing red light on the floor glowed with a subtle twinkle. Their dots seemed to form a pattern, but he couldn’t be sure when his head was a complete mess inside.
He simply guessed that they were connected to the hearth, based on their similar colour, and the similar magic.
“’s warm,” Red muttered, tightening his grip on Sans’ hand. He felt Sans squeeze back, and Red avoided looking at the other skeleton’s expression because Red knew he had a dumb, lovestruck look on his face. “that. um. d-do you want to check the other rooms?”
Sans answered by dragging him by the hand, heading upstairs without breaking their link. Red followed happily.
“i bet the bedrooms have secrets,” Sans told him while they were climbing the stairs, and Red didn’t bother to wonder how Sans knew of the bedrooms upstairs. “the one at the end, especially.”
Red bumbled after him into the bedroom at the end of the hall. It was a bedroom larger than the one they shared in Snowdin, but it had a big window and a nice view of the garden outside. The curtains were made of weird, shimmery black cloth. Seeing it again, Red had a sudden suspicion that it was another house secret.
Sans headed straight for the big window as if he knew where to go. Then, he untangled the ropes that set the curtains apart. When the curtains fell, the room darkened completely and Red could barely see anything.
A sudden restlessness settled inside Red. He couldn’t see Sans clearly in the dark, so he gripped the hand in his tightly. Strangely, he also felt comfort from their joined hands.
Sans’ eyelights found him. “how’s that?” he asked, and Red couldn’t answer.
Red leaned forward in the dark, wishing he could push Sans against the wall to kiss him.
“i don’t know,” he mumbled his shaking words. “it's, uh, it’s dark, i guess?” He didn’t even know what he said to Sans – what he was trying to say at all.
Sans chuckled. It was a warm sound that caused Red to squirm where he stood. “try your magic.”
“i, yeah, okay,” he breathed, dizzy at the fact that Sans was so close, that he wasn’t trying to get away, and – stars, Red wanted him so badly. “magic. right.”
Red spread his magic across the room like mist below a mountain.
Then, before his magic could reach the walls, little firefly-like dots lit up in the room along with brushstrokes of light—but it didn’t move. It stayed suspended in air, like…
“stars,” he whispered as he saw the soft gaze aimed at him.
The lights made Sans look ethereal under its glow. Some were blue, yellow, orange, white, red—so many colours on Sans’ bones, including cloudy nebula and little streaks of light that reminded him of comets.
Sans’ eyelights looked at Red like he was looking at something precious and it was doing weird things to his very soul.
“i-i mean, they’re like stars,” Red stammered, gesturing his free hand to the air.
“they are,” Sans answered with more certainty than Red. Then, he pointed at the curtain. “over there, i think that one should be yours.”
Red didn’t want to look away from Sans, but he also didn’t want to disappoint him. He looked over and saw the curtains lit up with the colours of some blue nebula.
Oh. Red stared at the wondrous colours spread across it, at the dots twinkling at him. The bluish haze of it looked oddly familiar in a way that only his soul could tell, and at the center was a single blue star surrounded by many others. It shifted from a light blue twinkle to an exploding blue haze and then into a pure white at intervals, as if it was blinking at him.
“is it a blue star turning into a white dwarf?’” he blurted out after piecing together the puzzle.
“yup,” Sans confirmed. “blue to white. that’s how it goes, right?”
“it looks awesome.” Red couldn’t help but lean close to focus on the transition. “how the hell did they do this?”
For some reason, everything else around the star seems unaffected by its transition, which should have experienced major changes.
“magic,” Sans suggested with great cheek.
Red laughed and grinned at him. “yeah, it’s pretty magical,” he agreed while looking back at the star.
More stars seemed more visible when he focused on them, and when he tried searching for planets near the blue star, he noticed a small blinking dot next to it.
“is that another star next to it?” Both of them look like they were very slowly circling each other like twin stars, except the blue one seemed more visible.
Sans leaned against him. “mhm, looks like it,” he agreed. “that one’s my favourite.”
Red blinked and then glanced at the skeleton. He wasn’t looking at the star, but at Red. “why?”
How could Sans already have a favourite when they’d only discovered this house secret?
An elbow nudged at Red’s side. “you can tell it’s a pretty cool star.”
Red whipped his head back and squinted at the blinking light.
A red star – they were cooler than blue stars. Red stared at it, and somehow seeing the two stars together made him feel elated.
“it’s a red star,” he murmured.
Sans chuckled warmly. “like you.”
It took Red only a second to understand what Sans had just implied.
Fuck. Magic flared across the room, echoing in the mist he’d spread. Red stared determinedly at the red star next to the blinking blue-to-white star. He could feel his magic threatening to overtake his skull. Only Sans, who had a not-so-secret adoration for astronomy and physics, would call him a red star.
“then that blue and white star has to be you,” he blurted out mindlessly, attempting to cover up his flustered helplessness, and instead mangling his attempt, “because you’re right next to me.”
“so it’s like a map of where we are, huh?”
Red had never thought he’d ever be so discombobulated in his entire skeleton life. “it’s, that is, uh – y-yeah, that. a map. a star map – an astrograph.”
“that must mean you’re my favourite.” Sans struck Red right in the soul and left him gasping for words. “right, red?”
Red’s magic quickly spread from his skull down to his tarsals. Because Sans had said that the blue star, the white dwarf, should be his and he didn’t know if Sans wanted him to misunderstand everything when they hadn’t even known there was a star map in this room.
“i, ah. uh,” Red struggled to string a coherent sentence together and had to admit his defeat. “yeah,” he meekly accepted.
Sans chuckled beside him. “what about me?”
“yeah, you’re mine,” Red dutifully replied.
And then he paused, and then Sans paused. Red flushed bright in the darkness. No, fuck, he hadn’t meant to say that and now Sans would think he was an idiot!
“you’re my favourite, i mean,” he corrected after a second of horror, although he knew he was already too late.
“well,” Sans murmured as he slid closer to him, “that sounds good to me, being each other’s favourites.”
Red ducked his head and hoped he wouldn’t combust from the overwhelming magic flooding him.
But when Sans rubbed his temple on Red’s shoulder, Red reflexively nuzzled back, bumping his cheekbone on his best friend’s skull and rubbing affectionately. He didn’t even think about how weird it should be for best friends to act this way, but Sans didn’t stop him. Sans even moved closer, until there was barely a gap between them, and then Red found himself an armful of a nice pile of bones that occasionally let out a rumbling agreement to his muttered complaints about stupid humans that were in his way to victory.
On his third pause on a story, a pretty, soft sigh came from Sans, who stayed in his arms and hadn’t left even when Red shifted him around for comfort. His arms hung lazily around Red’s shoulder like a loose scarf, head tucked right next to his temple, tilted over so Red could see colours splashed across the bones of his neck.
“you should touch me more often,” Sans whispered in the deepest, huskiest sleepy voice that Red had ever heard him use – and the words his best friend uttered had his mind going to dirty places. “you give good hugs, red, and – mmm,” Sans moaned, and then Red's soul must have cracked from intense pressure when Sans fully pressed up against him, breathing out a shaky, “y’feel so nice.”
Red clutched him tightly and released an inaudible whimper. Sans’ magic sang of only pure intentions of pleasant happiness and contentment, not even a drop of lust. All his pretty noises came from a simple hug. A friendly hug – because Red restrained every bit of his dirtier thoughts.
He wouldn’t survive any more of this. He was going to die because his best friend was like this since they had a best friend status and Sans had somehow lost his restrictions and—
The other skeleton hummed and rubbed his cheekbone at Red’s neck.
—fuck.
Sans would be the death of him.
—
After Sans’ suggestion to be touched more, Red released all thoughts on whatever the hell boundaries meant from the dictionary. With Sans being even more affectionate in touch and action, Red’s mind circled around him again and again and again and wondered where the hell Sans learned how to be this type of best friend.
Somehow, he lived to the next day of Sans embracing him.
However, at night, inside a tent he’d set up at the forest near the house, he had hot dreams of Sans sitting above him, bones smooth and pristine, breathing shakily at every grind of Red’s hips. Red hadn’t even taken off his clothes in the dream before Sans had spilled all over him with a cry of pleasure, and then Red woke up panting, eyelights wildly searching the tent. He found no Sans, no moaning skeleton, no other monster but himself.
Then he had sighed in relief when he remembered that he wanted to camp out with the others in their magic, soundproof tent at the forest. Right under the stars.
Sans hadn’t been in the same tent, because they had four and it was more fun that way.
So, yes, Red had folded. He finally gave in. He’d touched himself to the dream of Sans taking pleasure from him.
He'd cursed up a storm, dealt with his dream problem, and then fell asleep to another dream of Sans. And, in that dream, Sans had done unspeakable acts that would make any decent monster blush.
Red hadn’t had any peaceful sleep, so he extended their camping vacation and used the excuse of the pretty stars above them. His reason had been simple: get rid of the dreams through frequent exposure. Of course, he hadn’t told anyone about the dirty dreams starring Sans. He had waxed poetry about the sky being so wide and pretty and spacey and made so many space puns that they had to take his word for it.
The other skeletons agreed to his extension. Edge had agreed with his nonsense, Papyrus had waxed even more poetry about how the stars couldn’t be compared to mere crystals from the Underground, and Sans had simply went along with whatever they wanted.
Then, on a night when he had his normal dreams back, he’d woken up to Sans curled up next to him in his own sleeping bag.
Red figured that his dreams were a result of Sans’ absence and less so of his presence, because waking up to see Sans’ dozing face beside him poured warmth in every corner of his hollow spaces.
“hey, there, sleepyhead,” Red greeted upon seeing Sans slowly waking up. “how’s my little tent invader doing? did you have a good sleep?”
Sans’ eyelights looked blurry as they formed in dark eye sockets. “mmm, red, wha…” his buddy mumbled and reached over, patting his arm. “wha… when…? huh?” Sans’ clicking blinks were fast. “how… how did you…?”
“hey,” Red tried again.
Sans stared at him, glanced around deliberately, and then a sweat of magic dripped from his skull. “oh. did… did i take a shortcut to your tent?”
Well, that explained why his magical locks had been left untouched.
Red cleared his nonexistent throat. “well?”
A rare, flustered skeleton rattled in the other sleeping bag in the tent. Sans propped himself up on one arm and the big gap of the neckline of his shirt revealed the very bones that Red had been biting in his dreams.
His soul started pouring magic below in reflex, which he stopped through sheer force of will.
“had a weird dream,” his best friend mumbled, and then Red became flustered, because his dreams had been less weird and more hot lately—
“what was it about?” he blurted.
Sans tilted his skull back, eye sockets closed, and Red had a hard time concentrating on his face when the movement exposed more smooth bones for Red to feast his eyes on.
“i think i was missing you in the dream,” Sans finally answered, as if he’d replayed the dream. Red failed to control the magic eating up his skull. “i tried to shortcut to you, so, uh, that’s most likely why i’ve badly invaded your privacy.” Sans offered up a regretful look. “i’m sorry i ruined your sleep –”
“nothing’s ruined,” Red hastily cut him off. Sans looked taken aback. “nothing’s ruined,” Red repeated more calmly, “you can visit any time. i always make space beside my bed for you –” because he’d gotten used to sleeping near Sans that he barely even felt Sans taking a shortcut inside his tent “– and that means it’s your spot.”
Sans’ resulting smile looked teasing, and Red had to recall exactly what he’d said. “your bed, huh? I guess you’re giving me an open invitation.”
Red made a noise that expressed his embarrassment at his mindless wording at early-o’clock in the morning.
And then Sans started zipping up their sleeping bag together, while Red watched with both excitement and horror, because he’d brought this upon himself.
“there.” Sans patted the sleeping bags, looking obviously pleased with his work. “now we can sleep again.”
Red found himself crawling on his side of the sleeping bag without his express will, because Sans looked at him like he was excited for his first sleepover in a tent. Red couldn’t disappoint him even for a second.
Sans went in after him, tucked in the thick cover, still wearing a big shirt and his sleep shorts and his cute mismatched socks. Red couldn’t stop himself from dragging him closer, wrapping his arms around Sans, and basking in the contentment that his best friend exuded from his very core.
When Sans hugged him back, Red sighed. “you’re right,” he told Sans, slurring his words. “hugs are really nice coming from you.”