Reflections. Was it worth it?
Blaire walked along the top deck of the Golden Odyssey. The deck was relatively empty of people or crew as the airship glided through the air. Eventually she found a place at the bow of the ship and climbed over the railing and sat down upon it. If she leaned too far forward, most likely she would plummet to her death over the terrain slowly moving below. She didn’t falter though sitting comfortably watching the sunset in front of her, the wind against her face.
She came to this secluded spot for a reason other than to watch the sunset before her though. It was quiet other then the wind, quiet enough for her to think to herself. To reflect. To not be bothered. She ran the events through her mind that led to what she had been part of days ago...the Destruction of Aemeili. She didn’t protest it when the Father had said what the plans were to find his son who was being held and raised in the lands of Ter’de’Croix.
Why didn’t she protest it? Sure she denounced everything that had to do with her homelands. Wanted nothing to do with the title that was rightfully hers that she passed off to her cousin. Wanted nothing to do with the Lands she was raised in...not raised...survived in. Was that why? Did she hate the lands so much because of what people she did not remember do to her since she could walk? Constantly trying to let nature kill her. Putting her in situations that normal people, normal children would easily perish under. Yet...she survived. She survived and lived, and she got her revenge on those very people. On every person that was to blame for the pain and suffering she experienced. They were gone now, and she was still here. Was that why she let the Father’s plans proceed?
But the people of Aemeili, none of them, not one, were any of the people that hurt Blaire. They were truly innocent in every way possible. They had done no wrong to her, they had not slighted her, she didn’t know a single person that she saw perish that day. Aemeili was just a city to her in all retrospect.
Why did she feel guilty then? The anger and sorrow she normally felt when in the lands of Ter’de’Croix were replaced by sadness and sorrow as the Flock left, the damage done, the child they came for in their possession. Why did she feel that way for a land that in her mind, had no love for her? So why should she care what happened to its cities, or its people? None of the them would blink twice if she was to die. Anyone that may know her in all of Ter’de’Croix probably think her dead anyways, at least they did. Davmir probably has bounties on her at this point. Before he was forced to apologize in front of Blaire he had all but pronounced her dead, and her cousin was vindictive to those that harm those he cares about.
Why did she wish she could go back in time and stop the Father, find another way to get the child for him rather then let an entire cities population be raised before her eye?. She had let it happen to gain favor, to show that the Flock was all she had now, and in a family where the strong survive, she couldn’t have shown weakness by pleading for the city to be spared.
Blaire shook her head looking around her. The sun had set, the orange sky was replaced by black with dots of white as distant stars lit up the night. She looked down to her watch. Had she really been thinking about this for over an hour? It didn’t seem that long. She straddled the railing she sat on and placed her feet firmly on the deck and started walking below deck to the sleeping quarters.
Her last thoughts as she laid down for the night were this. Was it worth it? Was it worth letting a city be destroyed for the sake of one child? Yes, it was. She had gotten back things she had been without for some time for her part in the event. Not only a gift, but some clarity.
Did she regret letting this happen to a city of her homeland? A homeland that despite all the bad history and memories she had, and a land she had no hand in anymore, was still a place she had connection to? Yes, she regret the decision to let it happen every night since. Images ran through her mind of people being torn to bits by the Tree, people being burned alive by a wall of fel fire. Their Screams haunted her.
Yes she regretted it. But the past is the past. What is done is done. She couldn’t change the timeline, nor did she want to. This action that she was apart of, truly cut her off from everything the was Du’Croix.
She was no longer a Du’Croix. She was someone without a Surname or a birthplace to call home. She was just Blaire.
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