#ic. taichi.

[yeshens]

you think i can’t tame that? / ok karuta!au taien and theyre at a compeition surveying all the competitors. this is kaien looking @ his lineup opponents.

not for the first time since kaien joined the karuta club, taichi finds himself thankful for the steady presence he provides. taichi may be the appointed captain, but he knows that he’s always been more of a follower, if not reluctantly dragged into things outright. it’s easier to feel confident when someone else around him is, and kaien makes it easy.

“confidence is very becoming on you,” taichi says instead of answering, having been immediately distracted away from observing the competition by kaien’s remark. the crowd’s noise dims to a low hum in the background, and for a brief moment, taichi allows himself to bask in kaien’s composure. it doesn’t last long — taichi can’t allow the distraction to last, being captain and all — but it helps center him, and that’s enough.

taichi grins, squares his shoulders as he leads the team forward into the hall. “but let’s try not to bully them too hard. chihaya might feel bad about it.”

@piliyi, prompt.

[yeshens]

@aicidos​ ,  prompt   ───

“i just think about the goodness of you as a person.” aratai:)

“   you’re impossible,   ”   taichi shakes his head,   “   absolutely hopeless,  and possibly also imagining things.   should i check for a fever?   ”   he presses a hand against arata’s forehead,  his fingers cool against arata’s skin.   taichi’s touch lingers for far longer than it would normally take to gauge arata’s temperature,  but hey,  at least he has an excuse for it.   barely.

“   you know,  you should really be seeing an actual doctor for these kinds of things   —   just because i’m studying to become one doesn’t make me a proper substitute.   ”   he admonishes,  lips twitching as he removes his hand.   taichi is well aware that the speed at which he’d changed the topic was quick enough to give anyone whiplash,  but he really didn’t want to examine the sentiment behind arata’s statement at this point in time.   or…   at any point in time.   (  taichi knows this :  that he’s already too much of a coward to acknowledge his own feelings toward arata,  let alone begin considering that it may be reciprocated.  )

“   but you’re fine,  i guess.   what a shame,   ”   he sighs,  sounding somewhat wistful.   “   if you were sick,  i bet i could convince chihaya’s mom to send her over with some soup.   ”

[yeshens]

       “   here.   i,  uh.   got it for you.   … you should eat something,  at least.   ”

@aicidos ,  ♥

[yeshens]

@aicidos ,  chihayafuru prompts   ───   

“ you can’t ride on other people’s dreams. that’s not fair to them. ” arataichi ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

all his life, taichi has been weighed down by expectations. first, his mother’s, all through his childhood; then, as he grew into his own reputation, by that of his peers. sometimes, he wonders what is left of him that is still him, that is not a part of his mother or chihaya or arata or his classmates or the mizusawa karuta club or his friends from cram school — even karuta, the way taichi plays it, is influenced by love, by an obsession. (it hurts to breathe when he plays, nowadays.)

“easy for you to say.” he wants to grip arata tightly and shake him. not everyone can be like you, he thinks, knowing from when you were five what your dreams were and being allowed, encouraged to pursue it. but he hasn’t been rough with arata in years — compensation, in part, for the way he still feels guilt like he can still feel arata’s glasses in his pocket (he needs to confess to chihaya soon, before something breaks inside him) and in other parts because they’ve been parted for years in between — so he keeps his hands at his sides, fingers clenched into a fist, focusing on the way sharp crescents begin to dig marks into his palm.

taichi turns his head away from arata. it’s a familiar scene.

“some people don’t have a choice.” he thinks of university in tokyo and how it’s a given for him, but a dream for arata. he thinks of his mother’s words, ever constant like a mantra in his head telling him don’t play if you’re not going to win, he thinks: why do i keep playing karuta, when becoming meijin has always been your dream and my impossibility?

he thinks, what is it like to live with your head in the clouds like this, arata?

“then maybe i’ll make my new dream crushing yours,” he says, just to be mean a little bit, the petty, spiteful feeling burning through his chest and throat and mouth until it spills over and out. “did you hear? suou-san’s a teacher at my cram school, and i’m going to start training against him soon. next time we meet in a match, arata...” he smiles and feels like a child again, “i’ll crush you. tell me, is that dream fair enough to you?”

[yeshens]

@aicidos   ───   tokyo streets seem so crowded, always. despite how little space arata takes up in the sidewalk, some child manages to messily crash into his side, which, in turn, makes arata crash into taichi, which means— well, it means his worst nightmare came true. with the impact’s force, his glasses went flying off his face, and oh, gods, please no, was that a crack he heard just now? swallowing thickly, he recovers from wrapping his arms around taichi to prevent a fall, and the sidewalk is nothing but a blur, near impossible to so much as spot his glasses, and no stranger seemed to notice, nor care. he turns around then, a mortified stammer, “taichi…” (oh nooo his glasses broke now you’re gonna have to hold his hand and walk ahaaa)

for a non-tokyoite like arata, maybe shibuya was too much to start a trip off with. it wasn’t that taichi hadn’t considered that when he’d planned things out, but as usual, chihaya had overruled him with a single mention of the new café that was opening in the heart of shibuya city — even if in the end, she’d gotten caught up with an impromptu photoshoot with her sister that she wasn’t allowed to pass on and taichi, you can take arata around without me, right? make sure he has fun! i’ll join you two the moment i can, i promise! please, pleaaase — and taichi hadn’t had the heart to say no, even though he probably should have, considering the awkward silence between them right after taichi had played chihaya’s voicemail aloud for arata in lieu of an explanation for why she wouldn’t be joining them.

so, it’s just the two of them. this is fine.

and it’s all going just fine, until taichi stops paying attention for one moment to check if he’d gotten the direction right, and immediately, things happen. “oh, for god’s sake —” there’s a distinct crack that he knows arata hears despite the noise all around them, and taichi hurriedly puts an arm around arata’s waist to pull him closer, a quick glance at the broken glass on the ground confirming what they’d already knew.

“you don’t- you wouldn’t happen to have a spare pair of glasses in your bag, would you...?” he doesn’t have to look, this time, to feel arata’s desolation washing over him in waves. taichi sighs. with all the patience of a teen whose day is going further and further off the rails of his initial plans, that is: not much at all, he lets his arm fall and grabs arata’s hand tightly before leading him away from the crowd. “don’t let go,” he warns, ducking into an alley and dragging arata in with him before he takes out his phone to dial a number. under his breath, but at an audible volume still, taichi murmurs, “one day, i’m going to get you to wear contacts.” but for today, he has a better plan.

[yeshens]

@aicidos ,  twitter meme starters   ───   ‘ my morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired i am. ’ from arata to taichi <3

“huh,” he responds, mostly in disbelief. arata looks the kind of put together that would incite any mother into using him as the other person’s child, taichi thinks bluntly.

but of course, it hadn’t started that way. arata’s rise in taichi’s estimation had been an exponential kind of thing, and it’d started with taichi’s burning jealousy at the attention arata received from chihaya while he was pushed aside as a consequence. then arata had seen the ugliest parts of him and still, still, kept his petty secret, and taichi erases everything he thought he’d known of arata wataya in favour of building up a new, possibly equally mistaken, image. in either case, whether the before or after, taichi had never really looked at arata and seen a child.

arata feels like a proper grown up, but no one ever reflects: how tragic that is to say about a kid still growing up.

“you don’t look the type,” taichi muses aloud, “but you know, sometimes i forget that you’re human, too.”

[yeshens]

@tomoge ,  affectionate prompts   ───   “ you make me feel brave. ” TAICHIHAYA

anyone who's been around chihaya for even a fraction of time knows this: the intensity of her presence can be overwhelming. it's not something she employs often, nor, if taichi had to speculate, at all by her own volition. rather, chihaya's energy is something so inherently her that it's hard for taichi to look away and pretend that he can find it elsewhere. no, not even difficult — impossible.

it's too late for him. it's been too late since they were both in elementary school, at the beginning of his yearning for her attention, her affection, despite not knowing how to go about it.

awkwardly, as it'd turned out. he knows now that taking arata's glasses from him wouldn't have worked if what he wanted was for chihaya to look at him. all it did was make her look at arata more, be concerned for him more, as if to compensate for his lack of sight — even if the memory of her shoving arata aside to look at taichi, however briefly, feels like balm over an open wound. but an open wound is open, is open, is a wound.

at least, he reflects, it hadn't turned out all too badly. it'd ended up like this, and it started like this — the three of them on a bed of autumn leaves, in arata's weathered home, at dr. harada's karuta society, at a crossroads of farewell.

it turned out that arata and himself were the only ones to depart, while chihaya continued straight onward, all by herself.

you make me feel brave, she says, and taichi can't help feeling the wound split open once more at the touch of her words, feather light.

“don't be silly,” he says, supporting most of the weight of the tatami mats they were supposed to be moving together, being the one holding up the back end, “you're brave all on your own. i'm just... following along, is all.”

in the end, it turns out that the path that diverged came back to her after all.

[yeshens]

@tomoge​​ ,  mamma mia !   ───   ❛ i can’t count all the times i’ve cried over you . ❜ taichihaya:) if you think this is ehte end? it isnt. ill stop when i reach the end of the meme or hit post limit. we'll see . i genuinely feel like its a celebration...wennie rbing a meme

it’s a good day, as far as days go. the sunlight is warm against his skin; the intermittent noise that brushes against his ears are of the humming of the air conditioner and not the sounds of palms against tatami; there is no burden of having to win a championship hanging over him. 

he misses it a bit, sometimes. misses being part of a club, of something larger than his own future. 

but he doesn’t miss her, by virtue of having chihaya around whenever she isn’t busy practicing. it’s clear even to him that chihaya had come to a realization sometime after he’d quit the club — one about him always going off on his own  — and had quite cheerfully made a decision to prevent him from doing just that. she’s around him whenever she has time to spare from karuta: which isn’t often, he’ll admit, a meager amount compared to when they used to spend time practicing together, but it’s still more than enough. 

her company is always something for him to take pleasure in, even if it comes with random bursts of spontaneous confessions, much like the one chihaya just dropped.

and so here they are. taichi isn’t unaware of the effect he has on chihaya, no matter how much he underestimates himself sometimes. if only — mostly — by consequence of the way he was raised, he’s presumptuous enough to understand this much. 

and, if he were being perfectly honest, it’s not that difficult to make chihaya cry. 

still, an outward admission is… it makes his heart flutter just a tiny bit. he can’t help the way his lips quirk upwards, so instead he bites his lips to hide it. this kind of admission usually isn’t something to get happy about, he rationalizes, but. chihaya has a way of bringing out expressions that aren’t usual of him, too. 

“you’re so easy,” taichi teases in return, pinching her cheeks lightly as he says it. “you cried for me when i finally made class a too, do you remember? i thought you were so silly back then, making such a big deal out of it.” he understands better now, how much easier it is to cry for the sake of the people you love. how overwhelming it is to watch someone you’ve always been looking at win. he understands it better now: love. understands enough to know that she hasn’t always cried over him out of overwhelming happiness. taichi lets his arms fall. 

“did you… hate me?” for quitting the club and leaving you behind. for not being there when mizusawa had their first match after i left you behind. for confessing. he can’t bring himself to meet her eyes. “...for making you cry, all those times?”