How I feel when I hear the people I hate are having a bad time

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How I feel when I hear the people I hate are having a bad time
I wasted my evening redoing my AU playlists and I'm not even done
My AU was created 15th Oct 2012. 3 days after B2W2s release in EU
2018 it finally received a name: Perfect Heroes
Im still obsessing over it to an unhealthy degree but cant manage to put a comprehensible story together cuz it became an uncontrollable micro cosmos in my head
it's like a whole ass cinematic universe with alternative/ additional lore, story lines that sometimes have different versions, snip bits from daily life, AUs in the AU, everything has been shoved to the brink with even more symbolism, the tao trio speaks , it has an own additional magic system, tao trio has bullshit biology, the AU takes place over a span of at least 50 years, legendary trainers can't die from age and have their partners powers, also they fight reality itself
Ghetsis and Kyurem go from enemies to besties
My hyperfixation is a mess but it's my beautiful mess
I legitimately plan to make a comic one day, so that's why I barely ever tell anyone any major events in it because to me it feels like a spoiler and it would ruin the experience
fun fact: at the beginning my AU wasn't an AU but very close to canon. It was b2w2 with altered ending and a story extension, like a 3rd game. But eventually things got too wild
Thanks I hate it