do i love you meme + @iconicandbeyondreproach
They meet up in the backseat of jeeps, in the middle of the woods. They meet in places they won’t be seen, be people who knew them both too well, the good and the bad, feeling the milage, even though they never spoke of the wear and tear it had on their war-weary souls. Loving Betty Cooper was exhausting, as it was inevitable, within her eyes, wishing that it didn’t have to be layered with the complications that they were captured within. Wanting to wreck the wall that they placed between themselves, unsure how to grasp at what this would mean for her, the fullness of what coming out might be like, when she herself had handled that mess in particular on her own.
Trying to forget Jones in all of this, because the tragedy of it all would have burned too deep, a fire out of control. Nothing stayed pretty when faced within such circumstances, and how long would Toni stand by the idea of making out in secret spaces, with fingers sneakily creeping when they dared for it? There was a straw due to wreck its own havoc within their fragile dynamic, and once that happened... would that be it? Would they end it then? No more blonde hair between her fingers, ponytails pulled apart, ruining all that made her, her, she supposed. Ruination all that she left within her wake.
“Excuse me...?” the question catching her from the left, because why, how could she, ask her that, when Betty herself refused to say a word of what they did to the outside world? When it was she who was creeping around, leaving her second place, second rate? Cut by the phrasing, looking away because the idea of meeting her gaze now scratched at the humanity within her, wishing oh so badly that it wasn’t love, but knowing that it was the only reason that she was still here, despite the odds, despite the humiliation of it. No answer for her as her eyes closed, lips pressed together too tightly, feeling a shiver trace its way out, drawn from the insides, head left to hang.
Wishing, wishing, wishing, this was easier.