Soulmate AU, Minor Canon divergence, Angst, Hurt No Comfort
You always knew that you would meet your soulmate on the skies. Id always knew that he would meet his soulmate on the battlefield. Sadly, you’re both right.
Read on Ao3 as well: https://archiveofourown.org/works/86043766
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You always knew that you would meet your soulmate on the skies. Even in the days before departing from Zinkenstill, the black ink etched above your heart told you your love lay across the clouds. No one around you ever spoke like your words, mostly the chattering and laughter of young children growing up together. None of the travellers that visited ever so much as glanced at you, let alone spoke to you in that serious tone you knew by heart (literally in your case). You knew that your soulmate had to be further, beyond the horizon. After all, no one in your village could possibly be THIS silly.
“I'll end this in ninety seconds.”
You’d pondered these words for years, staying up late into the night tracing the letters with your fingers. Spent hours upon countless hours thinking about their meaning. Maybe they were challenging you to something? A game or competition? But these were not the words of some friendly match. Whoever they were, they were either fiercely competitive, extremely stubborn, or both. You didn’t mind. It’s not like you expected your soulmate to love you right away, you recognized that truth in the people around you. But you could sense the conviction in their words, and you had learned to appreciate it.
As you set sail with your friends on the Grandcypher, you wondered if maybe your soulmate was a fighter as well. Maybe they weren’t talking about a simple game…maybe you would meet your soulmate on the sparing grounds. You dreamt of who they might be frequently. Maybe they were just an island away, another stop on your journey. Maybe they were a town guard, found in some random clearing, challenging you to a match. Maybe they were another skyfarer, traveling the skies, looking for you as well. Were they skilled with weapons? Which ones? Were they a swordsman? An archer? The options were as endless as your imagination.
But in all your daydreaming on deck, your gossip with the crew, the late nights under the moon…
You had never thought that you would be enemies.
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Id always knew that he would meet his soulmate on the battlefield. All those years spent training under his Mother, with the other officers, preparing for Salvation, he spent subtly pressing everyone who joined the church. Over the years, he gained a reputation as a vicious instructor to the new recruits, not that he cared. Id was just trying to find them. He knew that his soulmate had to be unyielding, perhaps with a stubborn streak that rivaled his own.
“I won't give up.”
He had heard these words frequently, but every person eventually folded under his unrelenting force. His heart was clear, steady in his study of everyone who he crossed blades with. His Mother’s words snuck through his steadfast confidence, slowly poisoning his heart, turning him away from his search. She told him that his words meant that his soulmate was weak, that they would only hold him back. His Mother said that his soulmate might try to tempt him from their path. That their words were nothing but lies to lure him in, to get him to drop his guard, so that they could keep him from salvation.
By the time the Church set out into the Zegagrande Skydom, in search of the Shaman of Salvation, Id’s heart had already hardened. He tried his best to keep from looking at those cold, dead, meaningless words anytime he had to change clothes. The stone that was his heart did not flutter or skip when any new recruits uttered those words in training, numb to the pain of disappointment. Even so, as the Church made their way towards the Halewind Alter, Id felt a stirring in his chest and prayed that it was just nerves.
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Id did not realize that he was fighting his soulmate until long after they first locked swords. At the time, he had attributed the way his breath hitched and his heart stuttered to the force behind their blows. He did not think much of the skyfarer Captain and their crew. They were far too weak to keep the Shaman safe, and as such, they should just lay down and allow him to protect her. As the Captain stood before him, distracted by the soldiers as they escorted the Shaman away from the battlefield, Id knew that the time had come to strike down this interloper.
Id recognized the shock in their eyes as they turned to face him, as their swords met and left one shattered. The Captain fell to their hands and knees before him, and Id scoffed. No one so weak as this could keep the Shaman safe, this crew had to realize this. He sheathed his sword upon his back, and turned to leave, but the shocked murmur of the defeated crew drew his attention over his shoulder again. Id turned back, and was surprised by what he saw. The Captain had regained their footing halfway, still leaning heavily on one knee, clutching the shattered hilt of their sword. Their eyes burned with righteous fury, so brightly that I had to blink in surprise. They ground their teeth together, hissing softly as their free hand cradled their side. Id was almost impressed…but what they said shocked any emotion out of him.
“I won't give up.” They muttered, pulling their feet beneath them in an almost lifeless way. “I won't give up.” They repeated, slightly stronger as they swayed on their feet, the arm holding the remnants of their blade hanging limply in front of them. Id could hear the squeal of leather as they tightened their fist. The Captain swung their arm up, holding firm before him as they roared. “I won't give up!”
The years of disappointment and hopelessness revived and struck down in an instant, all Id could do was stare. He’d barely raised a hand in their direction before all strength seemed to flee their body. The Captain fell forwards onto the ground, much to the anguish and worry of their crew. Id watched as the Captain’s fingers fell from their blade to claw uselessly against the ground. They turned their head to face him, and he felt a jolt as their tears began to overflow, rolling clear tracks down their face. Id felt shaken as they looked up at him with hollow eyes. He stared back blankly, trying to keep his face stoic. He heard his Mother call him to her side, and had to drag his eyes away from their pitiful form. Id pretended that he didn’t hear them crying out for the Shaman.
The last he saw of them that day, they were still reaching out for the Shaman, face tear stained and eyes blazing with fire as he placed his blade between them. He looked down at them, covered in dirt and barely clinging to consciousness…..and all he could think about for a moment was his soulmate. It made him twitch as a shiver shot down his spine.
This Captain was strong.....strong enough to not back down against him, and yet, not strong enough to stand against him. He felt the familiar coil of disappointment in his gut, felt it thrash and rage inside him, hardening his heart. His eyes went cold as he looked down at their crumpled form. “You are unworthy.”
A great length of time and many hard (but necessary) conversations later, Id would realize that the vitriol in his voice wasn’t just for them…it was for himself as well. And apologize all he wants to, he knows that he’ll never forget the devastation on their face before they passed out.
