Prepared
Arrrgggh. Not now. Ideally, never. But ESPECIALLY not now! This is horrendous. It's... the worst possible thing that could've happened. I can't deal with this right. I can't really even think where I would begin to solve a solution so large. It would really take my best efforts to even scratch the surface of this problem, never mind, resolve it. No, I would have to try my best anyway. Taking a deep breath, I faltered. It just wasn't going to be as saying I should just do it. No, confidence didn't come quite that quickly. Or that often either, in my case. How was I going to do it? How could I show my face? I hate it. I hate myself. I hate being gay. I hate feeling scared like this. I can't just go in there and face my mother. She's always told me how normal I was. How she would hate it if that ever changed. I can't. I can't! No no no!!! It wasn't just going to be as easy as it is in the movies. Not every parent is that accepting. Not everyone thinks being gay is perfectly okay. It wasn't that simple to come out. It wasn't that simple at all, especially to tell your parents. That is probably hardest of all. My friends knew. My parents? Laughable. But someone my mother is close friends with saw me with my partner. That's all it takes really. One mistake. And your life is over. Another deep breath. Followed by a heavy sigh. I just couldn't do it. It was not as simple for me as people made it out to be. "Oh, hey Siana, welcome home," I hadn't even heard the door open, "I was just gonna throw out the trash, but would you please do it?" I was frozen on the spot. Already I was confused. Had she known I was here the whole time? Maybe she did? Maybe she was just waiting to lash out. I grabbed the bag without making eye contact and ran over to the garbage bin to throw it in. I walked back as slowly as I could, entering with my mother still beside the door herself. "Get washed up and come back when you're comfortable," She went to the kitchen herself. I did exactly as she said, still completely worried. She wasn't reacting at all. Did she not know yet? She should've heard as soon as her friend saw us. Was she busy then? The worries consumed me completely. Was I going to be told to break up? What would happen? I walked to the kitchen and went to get myself some water. "I set up some snacks on the table," It seemed like she really didn't know. I moved myself past her to the kitchen table, still quite high strung. "And bring over your girlfriend sometime. I'd like to meet her." My head turned, eyes wide and body spinning around, "What?!" Relief. Annoyance. Both at the same time. All I did was crunch on the baby carrot I had picked up.