Thoris.
( Send a ship and I’ll give you who )
Gives nose/forehead kisses
Christopher. Just because Thorn blushes and it’s cute.
Gets jealous the most
Thorn most likely. Christopher is all about giving freedom to his partner. To an extent.
Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk to drive
Chris because he doesn’t drink.
Takes care of on sick days
Both of them. Although they would assure one another they’re fine, both of them are pretty stubborn so they wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Drags the other person out into the water on beach day
Thorn most probably.
Gives unprompted massages
Chris, but it’d be short lived because he gets lazy very quickly.
Drives/rides shotgun
Depends. They would probably argue with one another because driving is tiring and neither of them wants to do it.
Brings the other lunch at work
Thorn because Chris doesn’t feel like hunting the other male down while he’s killing someone.
Has the better parental relationship
Considering Thorn was given away, in this case it would be Chris.
Tries to start role-playing in bed
Thorn, Thorn, Thorn, Thorn. Chris would as a joke.
Embarrassingly drunk dancer
Chris doesn’t drink, so it’d be Thorn, however Christopher would assure him he dances great.
Still cries watching Titanic
Most likely neither of them. They’d watch it as a comedy or something of those sorts.
Firmly believes in couples costumes
Both of them. Although they do it as a joke, they have a lot of couple items.
Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas
What expensive gift rule?
Makes the other eat breakfast
Thorn, since Christopher still kind of needs food to survive.
Remembers anniversaries
They don’t really believe in the importance of anniversaries, so while both of them would remember them sometimes, they wouldn’t put much emphasis on them.
Brings up having kids
Neither of them.