Banger
banger – favorite title song from their own discography and why? + @idjunseo
san’s favorite title from olympus’ very extensive discography is one of those answers that may seem contrite, the sort of answer that the fans love. but it isn’t picked at random, or for their benefit when he chooses it during interviews, even if he doesn’t expand on it to the full capacity of his answer. it was olympus’ debut song, before the dawn. and really, he’d just liked it. he can even pitch himself back to that moment. sitting in a clump with five other boys he barely knew, still in the process of being mixed together, this new song that would be considered their first defining steps played for them all. and it was back before san started to grow pessimistic. back, even, before he learned that he didn’t get along with his group mates. that most wanted nothing to do with him, and when they did, it was to treat him nearly like a child. unless dance was involved. sometimes. to some people.
he’d liked the dance. he’d been all frenetic energy learning it. and he can remember, too, that his mother was still excited. and he was still riding that. she’d been so happy. so proud that he’d made the cut, that he’d realized this dream he’d been steadily running toward. it had felt like, for once, that he’d met something. some goal. of course, it got moved again not soon after. but his life at this point, when this song had been taking place, had seemed alright. it seemed like he might’ve been destined for something. like all that work might be on the way to paying off. they didn’t win any awards with it. and it was the start of the pretty boy image they’d assigned to him, with sheepdog-shaggy bangs and his hair grown too long. but he hadn’t known it would last. was happy to debut. was happy to make his mother so ecstatic.
it didn’t last, that happiness. but this is why the song is san’s favorite. before their musical direction had shifted in an attempt to catch onto trends. before he realized he’d need to wait years for his image to change. before he started feeling trapped, and then angry. it’s nostalgic. he can pull the memories out, wonder at them, and wonder at how it all might’ve turned out otherwise. wonders if this is how some people still feel. hopeful. and then he shuts it all away again. because san at this point has learned that hope is a dangerous sort of thing.