#ifthencountdown

[thecitykeepsevolving]

No more wasted time, not one more day.

Tomorrow is the day. If/Then round 2. How did we end up here? I fought hard to be able to come back, even though I don't live far from NYC. i haven't been able to wrap my head around it. It sounds like a lie, but I've been so busy that it almost doesn't seem real to me. I'm glad I get to go back and see a show I care so deeply about. I'm excited to have a different kind of experience this time around with the same emotions. Also, I'm hoping to meet more of the cast at the stage door, whether it happens or not and if it doesn't I have to learn to be okay with that.

I have to mention Anthony Rapp because I can't even believe I'm seeing him on broadway. I'm excited to see everyone else too, but I never thought I would be able to see him in anything since I missed him when he came back to RENT in 2007. I hope I meet him and get some words out. It would honestly mean so much.

Of course, I'm excited to see Idina too. This will be my 4th time seeing her live so it's nothing to me, but she's even better in person. I know a lot of shit has gone down with my connection to her in the past 2 weeks, but I am genuinely happy I get to see her again in a role I really enjoy her in. It's amazing to be able to look at Elizabeth's character and say "this is me," If only she could play it forever, but life goes on!

SO.. round 2. Tomorrow. Let's do this!

[thecitykeepsevolving]

..... what am I supposed to do for the next 2 days?

[thecitykeepsevolving]

Is it weird to be this excited? I mean, it must come with some kind of incentive. I was excited last time but I was so fucking nervous too. I mean, I'm a little nervous but I'm hoping not to show it.

[thecitykeepsevolving]

I just got this HUGE rush of excitement for If/Then which is what I really needed right now. 8 DAYS!!! I cannot wait to see this cast again. I love them so much.

[thecitykeepsevolving]

THE CD DROPS THE WORLD STOPS THE FANDOM EXPLOOOOOOOODESSSSSSSSSSSS HAPPY CD RELEASE DAY!!!! It seems like yesterday this was for "I Stand." I HATE Christmas music but I'm really excited for you, Idina. Nothing can stop you from doing anything these days, even being a Jew and selling out a Christmas album. WHAT THE FUCK? ANYWAY, I'LL SEE YOU IN 10 DAYS. *DIES* GRKDJSKHGSKJHG EVERYTHING.

[thecitykeepsevolving]

FUCK. (because I don't know what else to call this post)

So yeah, I'm seeing If/Then in 2 weeks, WOO HOO. But honestly, I'm not as excited as I was the first time. I mean, I'm still excited but every time I count down or post the number of days/weeks it just doesn't feel genuine. It doesn't mean I don't care or I don't want to go, I guess I'm just scared. Or maybe it's because I went already? I don't know. I've been focusing on school half the time anyway so it's probably because of my other responsibilities even though I care more about If/Then x2 than school, haha. I know I should just shut up and be excited but it's been hard. I'm excited for the show but I'm so terrified of the stage door. What if I meet Idina? What if I don't? What if I meet the rest of the cast and can't even get a word out and talk to them like I did with James? And the worst part is the post-show depression. Fortunately last time mine only lasted about half a day after, but I was still really sad. Being in school and having other things to do might get my mind off of it. Who knows? I probably sound like a selfish bitch right now because my followers have probably only seen it once or can't even get to NY to see it, so I'm sorry if this makes me seem that way. I do love the show, and that's why I care so much. Again, I have 2 weeks. maybe a spark of excitement will come. Listening to the cast album doesn't really help, it makes me even more sad so maybe I should lay off of it until then so I can really be excited once I hear the songs in the theatre. One thing I am really excited about is to see Anthony. I want to see every one else too, but I've never seen him before so that gives me something to look forward to.

[thecitykeepsevolving]

2 WEEKS!!!!

Still not ready for this shit, incase you're wondering (even though it's round 2). I had ANOTHER dream last night. I was waiting on line to see the show and Anthony came up to me, SAID MY NAME, and started talking to me while I was waiting to go inside the theatre. It was actually really soothing. Too bad it couldn't be real. =(

[thecitykeepsevolving]

19 DAYS UNTIL IF/THEN!!!!

HOLY SHIT. WE ARE GETTING INTO THE TEENS. #SCARY