I'm looking for someone to read over a fic I'm writing for NaNoWriMo and tell me if I'm woefully off the mark. I don't want help with grammar, just brutally honest commentary on whether I'm dealing with the subject matter well or if I'm writing the crappiest crap that has ever crapped.
The fic is about Loki being, erm, gifted? as a slave to the Avengers (kinda community service, Asgard Style) to basically cook for them and mend their socks and shit, until he learns humility, compasison, etc. It will eventually be frostiron.
Four months living as a slave on Midgard, so far, and Loki had learnt three things:
1) Humans, or at least those he’d been given to, were petty beings who enjoyed being cruel to those beneath them for sport, and when they weren’t doing it on purpose, they were doing it by accident.
2) Humans forgot their promises very easily, or at least were not compelled to honour them, unlike Asgardians. For all they had promised Odin and Thor to take care of him and provide him with shelter and sustenance and treat him well, they hadn’t noticed he hasn’t eaten but scraps off their table in the last month, nor that he hasn’t been yet able to sleep a full night in the dirty excuse for a dogbed in which he had been ordered to sleep.
3) Loki would never be able to accept humans as his equals — therefore, he’d remain a slave to them until he died.
Whose brilliant idea had it been, anyway, to put Loki under a geis of obedience (from which he would only be realeased when he accepted that humans shouldn’t have to bow and kowtow to him just because they were humans and Loki, Asgardian. Ha!) and give him as a thrall for the Avengers? Probaly Thor’s, the total idiot. He really liked the concept of making ammends lately.
Loki was distracted from his poisonous thoughts by a chunk of bread bouncing off his head. He rolled his eyes and turned to Stark, who had thrown it at him. “Yes, Master?” he enquired tiredly, making the word ‘master’ sound like he was only calling him that because he had been ordered to. Which he had been, to add insult to injury.
EDIT: Okay, we have lift-off.
EDIT 2: Nope, false alarm...