“... so I thought you might need some time for yourself...”
tl;dr: You have a friend suffering from anxiety/depression after “hitting the wall” from being over worked. Be there, reach out. Talk. This is when this person needs you the most. So living with anxiety and depression after “hitting the wall” after being over worked has been a quite lonely time - since march this year, although it’s probably been going on for about 4 years (but that is another story, I guess). Friends might not be friends anymore, or an unknown-ness that is not really helping. I mean, sure, I’m taking one day at a time trying to get back to whatever normal life I had before. But it’s so lonely now. A few of the few friends I’ve had contact with has said something like “I thought you might need some time for yourself” or similar. Sure, we all need that. But when it feels like everyone you know just disappears from your life, it’s not really helping. It’s quite difficult to just reach out myself and say “hey let’s hang out” or whatever. Just managing to stay afloat for a day is a heavy task in itself. Hell, just going outside was impossible for a couple of months. I’m serious... That one day when all hell broke out, it felt like I was going to throw up just approaching my door to the outside. The “unsafe”, if you will. This went on for weeks, and soon months. Only thing you can do about it, is to pretty much force yourself to take one step longer each day. Practice, practice, practice. Baby steps, and don’t over step. Because that can have the opposite effect instead. You feel worthless, for not being able to do something you’ve done all your life - and that everyone else in the world is capable of doing. Like going to the grocery store to pick up food, or ride the bus. Or just simply taking a walk around the building you live in. I know, it’s hard to imagine that you’re not able to do this. And I can’t even try to explain why it is impossible. It’s just the way it is. And no, you can’t just “shake it off”. It takes time. A long time. And there will be a looooooot of people that will not understand. People that probably don’t want to either. And people that really should understand, that works with shit like this. But they don’t... So it’s like you’re fighting yourself, and the people that really should be on your side. The point of all this is just to let you people know, please don’t vanish from the people that need it the most. We need you more than ever when dealing with this kind of shit. Being alone doesn’t make anything better - it’s actually making it worse. Feels like you’re just... forgotten, useless. Discarded. Just a simple “hi” text now and then means more than you know... This will probably just be a bunch of gibberish and shit not making any sense. I’m writing this 02:30 something AM, 1 jan 2017 because I can’t sleep. My mind is chaos right now, and I’m going between almost crying and just trying to fall asleep.
