#ill rant

[socialistsooner420]

i just weighed myself and fuck

im down from 111 to 102lbs.... and im really getting scared i might have cancer again.

ive been really paranoid about it ever since i had my mastectomy a couple years ago and my surgeon told me "now just because we got that out, doesn't mean it wont come back" and i was just like ????????????????

and ive been feeling kinda the same as when i was fighting it. lately ive been (more than usual) lethargic and fatigued from even the lightest bit of activity. if i stand up too long i get light headed and dizzy. i dont have much of an appetite, but when i do i can only manage to take a few bites before i feel sick.

fuck fuck fuck

WHY

not to mention the fact im already in a bunch of debt to the hospital (~25k i think ugh) for my original treatment. now i might have to pay (rather, owe) MORE money just to *checks notes* stay alive

fuck

i just want to lie back down and cry myself back to sleep

[fire-eyed-onix-kitten]

Hate being ill

Okay so my belly is doing this weird thing were it wont shut the fuck up it just keeps making really annoying gurgling noises andim really tired and i cant even fall asleep because when i lay down i start coughing and cant stop and then i start sneezing and my nose starts running :(

[hazelnuticedcoffeeplease]

Would it be selfish to say that days like this I wish I could go back to the first day of summer? I miss home more than anything right now. Not essentially home I suppose, but the people, the moments, and the lil bits.

[makeyourtuan]

So my health decided it would be amazing to decline excessively rapidly during the last 3 days of school. I think it might be flu which is just taking a little while to kick in... Everything hurts and I can't breathe properly. I've been half awake for the past five hours or so. It's the last day of school tomorrow though so like should I go in? I dunno. And I had a shit day today (i felt so lonely and rejected at the end and i felt super faint around lunch time) so I don't want tomorrow to be like that. Plus I haven't eaten much today like I've had a cereal bar and a gingerbread man all day because it hurts to eat so i'll probably faint or something from low blood sugar or whatever... whhyyyyyyy

[oocmarble]

Should I make another ooc blog for Cappuccino-kun? Or should stick to one?

[ass-phemy]

I have no place to rant about all my private shit anymore wahhh