#ilyis

[softtashoney]

I LOVE YOU I’M SORRY — part two | home | prev | next

synopsis: for you, satoru gojo was the sun. you flew to close, and you got burnt. or alternatively; you’ve been in love with your best friend for years, and when he destroys his relationship with you and your two other closest friends for his new girlfriend? you save him the trouble and remove yourself from his life after you overhear her give him an ultimatum. leaving him in the past as you move on and start fresh in college.

tropes/warnings: modern setting, college setting, finding yourself, choosing yourself, coming of age, found family, single dads, cheating (not on reader or by reader), depictions of violence, underage drinking, healing, football player sukuna, meet cute/ugly, FLUFF and softness in this one!! as a treat for all the angst previously

pairings: college football quarterback!sukuna x reader x childhood best friend!gojo

word count: 26k

it was too freaking hot out, but for some awful reason you and suguru told your parents that you guys were capable of moving yourselves into your brand new apartment. you should've just listened when they offered to have the movers handle things when they were furnishing the place.

"have i ever mentioned how much i hate you guys?" shoko groans, wiping sweat off her forehead with the back of her hand. she side eyes you, "seriously how do you guys have so much shit?"

suguru walks past, looking as unbothered as ever, a stack of totes in his arms as he walks through your living room and drops them by the couch. they're labeled with giant pieces of white tape. 'art supplies' and 'books and shit.'

you huff, "how are you not dying?"

he looks over at you, his unfairly soft silky hair looking pristine, not a sweaty frizzy mess like yours and shoko's. "all those summers of helping gran in her yard seemed to pay off."

"ugh," you lean back against your kitchen counter—the place your parents got you guys was shockingly… full of character. a large open concept dining room and kitchen with exposed brick and wooden beams, the kitchen was massive enough for all of suguru's culinary whims. despite wanting him to pursue medical school they still stocked it with state of the art equipment for him to use. "are we almost done?" you ask.

"if you mean am i almost done because you haven't brought a single thing up in the last half hour—then yes. i just have two more boxes to grab." suguru says with an eye roll, but he still heads right back out the door to go retrieve the last of your things from the moving truck.

the place had central air, but with the hot california sun it didn't do shit when you were going in and out into the sunshine and humidity over and over. you slump against the countertop a bit more now that you know there isn't anything else to collect, letting yourself breathe out a sigh of relief. then you look over at shoko and frown, "how am i going to survive without you every day?" you ask, genuinely upset that you're going to be an entire hour away from her for the next few months.

shoko grins and comes over to you, grabbing your hand and lacing your fingers together. "don't be so dramatic," she tells you with a smirk, "i move into my dorm in august. you'll be just fine."

"that's literally three months away, sho!"

"okay and? we have cellphones and cars, it's not like we're states apart, dummy." she squeezes your hand. "it's going to be okay," her voice softens a little, and in that moment you know she sees through you like you're glass. "i know it's scary and everything has changed, nothing is how we thought it would be." she's talking about your friend group and well, the lack of satoru, and how things are just so different now. "but, this is a fresh start. you are going to take this summer and you are going to explore, you're going to go to all the local art museums and find the best spots to eat." she's giving you that comforring smile that always eases the tightness in your chest, "you are going to be okay. we are going to be okay, you know that right? i'm not going anywhere, and suguru kinda can't go anywhere. you're stuck with us, babes."

tears well up in your eyes and you nod. it's been three months since you cut off satoru, the sun, but you've been learning how to breathe better with each passing day. it's still hard though, you walked across the stage last week to get your diploma and… you didn't even speak to him. it's almost surreal honestly, to have gone your entire life picturing this big moment with him beside you and then… you had to do it without him.

you take a slow calming breath to steady yourself, "you're right." you nod, keeping your fingers laced together, using your free hand to reach up and swipe away your tears before they can fall. "it's just… hard still. i just always thought he'd be here you know?" you frown a bit, "and if i could lose him so easily then it worries me that i could lose the two of you just like…"

shoko drops your hand, reaches up and smacks the back of your head, making you wince.

"what was that for?!"

she rolls her eyes, "i literally just explained that you won't lose us, stop being a dumbass. sometimes i wonder if suguru took all the brain cells in the womb."

you splutter making an offended squeak, "sho!"

at that moment suguru appears with the last two boxes and raises his eyebrows. "i miss something?" he asks, his eyes instantly honing in on the smudge of your mascara on your waterline and the slight pinkness to your cheeks.

"just your sister being dumb, the usual."

"ah okay," he nods, disappearing down the hallway to go set the boxes in their designated spots. when he appears just a few seconds later he dusts his hands off and looks at the two of you, "well, everything's inside. the moving truck already left, so let's go get something to eat. i read that there's an amazing burger joint between here and campus."

you roll your eyes but you push off the counter and grab your purse off the counter anyways. "alright, but you're driving." you tell him as shoko follows you to the front door.

"well yes, if we want to get safely to our destination i definitely am driving. you don't exactly have the best track record." suguru states as the three of you exit, and he turns around to lock your front door. "i am still amazed you even got your license."

"you hit a curb one time and suddenly you're a danger to society." you mutter as you huff heading down the hallway towards the elevator, the pair behind you follows closely and you can hear their muffled laughter trailing behind you.

shoko manages to speak first, "babe, you bent the rim. we were in an empty mcdonald's parking lot. that's kind of insane."

"you guys are assholes." you huff, smacking the glowing downward arrow, and crossing your arms over your chest. "see if i'll ever be your dd in the future if you treat me like this!"

suguru gives you a wry grin, "it's cute you think we'd even let you be the dd, i would rather uber before ever doing that."

you look over at him and glare, "you're a prick."

"and you're hangry. let's feed you before you terrorize half of los angeles looking for your next meal, godzilla." he retorts, gently nudging you forward when the elevator dings, and the doors slide open. "the place i found even makes those ridiculous shirley temples you love, with the fruit inside."

then just like that, your annoyance fades and a bright grin blossoms on your face. "oooh! okay, let's go!"

day one of being full time adults, already off to a somewhat good start. your chest feels like a massive weight has been lifted off of it, and for the first time in a very long time, you feel truly optimistic for the future. you know you're going to be okay, so you let yourself soften, leaning against your ridiculously tall twin brother, and engage in more bickering with shoko, relishing in the newfound sense of freedom.

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you had fallen into a new routine with your twin while living in your new apartment. every morning, the two of you would sit at the wooden dining table and share breakfast before unpacking a bit more, decorating, or choosing somewhere new to go check out. today you'd decided that after eating you wanted to go explore some of the local shops, maybe walk around and get some sort of ice cream or something.

so when suguru sits down, sliding his own plate of eggs, toast, and sausage onto the table looking a bit… awkward your instincts flare. you narrow your eyes a bit, scrutinizing him, looking for any sort of clue. "what are you hiding?" you ask, as he lifts his fork to his lips.

he pauses, the fork hovering mid-air. "what do you mean?"

"you're just…" you gesture your hand at him loosely, "being all weird. so spit it out, what aren't you telling me?"

suguru sighs, setting his fork back on his plate, sitting up a bit straighter. "i have to go back home today, i probably won't be home for several hours."

you blink, "oh, okay." that isn't that weird, so why is he acting like he just got caught doing something. "dad trying to make you shadow him again or something?"

"no… i'm not visiting mom and dad."

"okaaay… so if you aren't visiting them, who are you seeing?" you pause, and your nose scrunches up, a sour expression on your face. "oh god, are you and shoko hooking up?"

"what? no! that's disgusting, she's like my sister, and you know as well as i do, you'd be far more her type anyways!"

then something clicks in your brain, and you feel a bit stupid for not realizing. "you're going to see him." you notice your brother visibly tense, and you sigh with a small sad smile. "you don't have to hide that from me, sugu. i told you both if you want to be friends that's fine. i'm not going to be mad or anything," you pause a moment, "you know i won't break if you talk about him right? i'm… getting better."

"i just didn't want to make things weird," suguru says looking away for a moment. "we've been texting here and there, he wants to work on our friendship. but… he called me yesterday. him and manami broke up."

you feel your stomach clench a little bit, "is he alright?"

suguru sighs, "well… it's complicated. he caught her cheating on him, and then she broke up with him."

"she was cheating on him? seriously?" you ask incredulously. how the hell could she cheat on satoru? for just a moment, the thought of reaching out to him flashes through your mind. it seems that you're not as subtle as you think because suguru seems to know what you're thinking almost immediately.

"no." he says firmly.

"what? what do you mean no?"

he gives you a look, like 'are you really serious right now?' and shakes his head. "you've been healing, working on yourself… you still have a ways to go. just because satoru's girlfriend left him doesn't mean you have to come to his rescue. it isn't fair to yourself to slip right back into your old dynamic before you've given yourself time to properly heal and move on."

"yeah," he's right you know he is, but it still… it sucks. "you're right, just…take care of him, please?" your voice is so small, so vulnerable.

suguru's shoulders droop, the tension dissolving the moment your voice sounds like that. "of course." he nods, and then just like that, the two of you finish your breakfast in relative silence, as your mind runs a mile a minute, thinking about satoru. eventually, after the dishes are cleared and placed into the dishwasher, you wave your twin off from the living room.

when you're all alone in your apartment you sink into the couch, and you let yourself feel your conflicting emotions for just a moment. then, you exhale, eyes shut, and you do your best to gently remove any traces of satoru from your mind. you decide you'll stick to your original plan of exploring the shops, might as well, otherwise you'll be cooped up here all day thinking about your former best friend, and you're much more likely to cave if you do that so… you get off the couch, head to your room, and start to get ready.

it doesn't take you too long to get ready to head out and hit the streets. thankfully your apartment is pretty centrally located, so walking isn't that crazy of an idea. you've been venturing out more with your clothing taste lately, more thin strapped tops with pretty lace details and tight jean shorts to beat the heat. it makes you feel… more you.

so you decide today you'll cross a few things off your list. get some art supplies, check out a few thrift stores, and there's even a few odd little food stores nearby you'd been curious to browse. you leave the apartment late morning when the sun hasn't fully risen to its maximum height yet, giving yourself plenty of daylight to look around.

first you find an individually owned art supplies store, the old woman who owns it is warm and inviting. she shows you around, helping you find your favorite brushes, the best acrylic paints for the price, and she even throws in a small pack of miniature sized canvases for free. that's probably because you'd spent the better part of two hours browsing and chatting with her, even happily telling her you'd been accepted into the advanced arts program at UCLA, so she seemed to take a liking to you and your passion for art.

you end up leaving with a canvas bag stuffed full of new supplies, and her card tucked in, so you could call and request supplies you may need in the future. she smiles brightly when you promise to be back, declaring this to be your new one stop shop for your painting needs.

after that you venture to a few of the oddity shops nearby, snapping photos to send shoko when you see taxidermied frogs and jars of rat eyeballs. you do find one of the places with odd snacks, they're all in different languages. the lady at the counter had explained that they have things from just about every corner of the world. you immediately snatch up several bags of oddly flavored chips, and a few delicious looking bags of sour gummies. your eyes run over the chocolate aisle more than once, but… you decide to forgo the sweets, not wanting them to remind you of a certain someone.

as you make your way back to the sidewalk, arm now lined with a paper sack of your snacks right beside your canvas bag of art supplies, you spot a row of various clothing boutiques. you think for approximately three seconds before you decide you know what? you do deserve a new wardrobe. which is how you end up staring at yourself in a floor length mirror wearing the prettiest vintage lacy white camisole top. there's a cute little bow that sits right between your cleavage, and you fall in love instantly. the price tag for it is sort of insane, at seventy five dollars, but you can't find it within yourself to care too much. your parents gave you and suguru credit cards for a reason, and you had never been a particularly expensive kid…ever, except for your martial arts classes, so you deserve it.

that was your final boutique. you have the shirt safely tucked into a bag along with several other similar shirts and plenty of cute bottoms to go with them. your arms are now lined with multiple bags dangling from your wrists to your elbows. thankfully it doesn't bug you much, you lift far heavier weights during training anyways.

the sun is starting to make its way down, having already crested to its peak a few hours beforehand, so you start to head back towards the apartment. until a decent sized brick building, sitting on the corner of the street catches your eye. there's a massive figure painted above the corner doors, shirtless and in a boxing style pose. in faded yellow and black lettering it reads, 'The Fushiguro Gym.' the setting orange and red sunlight glows, making an almost ethereal glow around the entrance.

you catch a glimpse of a ring, rows of mats, sandbags, and other equipment through the window and you grin. this felt like the perfect sign. you'd been meaning to find somewhere to continue practicing and maintaining your martial arts anyways. so, you decide to walk right up to the glass doors and shove them open and step inside.

the smell of antiseptic, sweat, and worn leather hits you and it feels like home. you're standing in the lobby, where a small front desk stands empty. you glance around, trying to get a feel for the place. there's people training on the equipment, hitting bags, running treadmills, and even a few people sparring on mats and in the ring.

you don't even sense someone's behind you until a deep rumbling voice addresses you, "you lost?"

the sudden sound makes you jump a bit, before you turn and have to crane your neck to look up at the massive mountain of a man before you. "uhm," you furrow your eyebrows, "no, not really. just wanted to check the place out. i've been meaning to find a new gym, just moved here recently."

he raises his eyebrows, "this ain't no pilates or aerobics gym, so if that's what you're lookin' for you may want to think again."

you scoff, "obviously. why the hell would i go to a mixed martial arts gym looking for fucking pilates? i need somewhere to keep up so i don't get rusty with my training."

the man arches an eyebrow, still not seeming to take you seriously. "you do tai chi or somethin'?"

"no," you say rolling your eyes. god what a sexist prick. "brazilian jiu-jitsu and muay thai. been training since i was five years old." you tell him, squaring your stance, refusing to be intimidated or looked down on. "i want to find somewhere i can keep up with that, and maybe begin learning other defensive techniques and styles. maybe this isn't the place for that though."

"a little thing like you?" he asks, the corner of his lip twitching up. you faintly realize he has a small scar cutting across it there. "well, color me impressed princess. if that's what you're lookin' for you came to the right place."

you glare, "little thing? you're like a mountain, no shit i'm little compared to you." you sigh, "so… who do i talk to about becoming a member?"

"you're lookin' at him," his lips form a smirk, and he gestures at the front desk. "toji fushiguro, i own the place. let's go getcha signed up."

despite his initial… reaction, toji actually seems to be pretty cool. he explains the various benefits of the membership, different tiers, and so forth. he tells you to come in that thursday, and he'll do a free assessment to see where you're at, and then they can decide where to begin with the new training. he hands you a small folder with all the printed out information you need for the gym, a small card that shows your membership, and a little card with his personal cell number. "see ya on thursday, princess."

by the time you're exiting the gym, the sun is dipping low on the horizon, hardly any sunlight left. so you head back to the apartment finally, to unload your massive amount of bags, and finally eat a decent meal before you relax before bed.

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you do come back to the gym later that week, on thursday, just as you'd discussed. though you do arrive earlier than he'd told you to, that way you could get a little bit of time in to navigate the gym and get used to the set up and equipment.

there's changing rooms, one for men one for women—they're not anything fancy. practically identical to locker rooms at a high school if you're being honest. you drop your duffle onto the bench, unzipping it to pull out your athletic wear and gloves. it's quick work to rid yourself of your street clothes and tug on the spandex pants and compression top, then you shove everything into the bag, and scan for an open locker. once you've found one large enough you shove it inside, and then take your combination lock from the outside pocket and slide it into the locker hole, gently close the door—and click the lock shut.

satisfied, you shake yourself out a bit, and head back into the open gym. you'd already scoped the place out visually, you knew you wanted to start with the heavy bag today. so you make your way over to the designated corner of the gym, and start some light dynamic stretching to prime your muscles for your drills.

at this point it's practically ingrained into your bones—rolling out your neck, your shoulders, opening up your chest, your hips, flexing your knees. making sure you weren't stiff or tight, so that you didn't accidentally pull a muscle. you'd learned that lesson the hard way when you were eleven and thought you had too much to prove to your old instructor. he scolded you for over a week for it.

once you're satisfied you breathe in a bit, and let the calm wash over you. this was your space to breathe. to stop thinking—there were two things in your life that let you get all that pent up emotion out. art and fighting—but in very different ways. with your art, whether you're sketching or painting you're forced to sit with your feelings, address them, feel them, work through them at the forefront of your mind. but with this? training, fighting, moving? your body does all the work for you, processing the things you can't bring yourself to think of in the moment, letting them come out through your strikes, through the adrenaline, the burn.

you start off light, a simple set of drills—jab, cross, kick. jab, cross, kick. you repeat the combination a few times, switching and alternating every few sets—until you hear that same deep voice from a few days ago behind you, "wow," he hums, eyes trained on your form, "i'll be damned you've got pretty good form, princess."

the comment makes you roll your eyes and drop back to neutral, so you can turn to face the gym owner. "well i would certainly hope so. i have been working on my form for close to ten or more years now."

he laughs, the corner of his scarred lips tilting up. "your kick," he gestures at the bag, "pretty strong from what i can tell. let's get you out on the floor, i'll hold the pads. i want to get a feel for it myself."

you nod, and wordlessly follow him when he turns his back on you and makes his way towards the open mats, stopping to grab a pair of pads from the nearby rack. he positions himself in the center, slipping the protection onto his hands, "let's start simple. give me some kicks."

so you do. it takes a moment for you to breathe in and center yourself. but you let your eyes fall shut, tongue darting across your top lip, then let your shoulders drop. when you open your eyes toji's waiting, pads held up.

the first kick is a warm up, but still strong. he nods, "again."

you go again, a little more oomph to this one. "come on, show me how hard you were hittin' that bag, princess. i ain't scared."

that time you change up, slamming a harsh switch kick into the pads. toji's grin widens, a slightly feral edge to it. "that's more like it," he says nodding, "more of those."

you aren't sure quite how long the two of you go through drills—he works you hard, and by the end you're sweating buckets. your muscles are burning, screaming, feeling like the fibers are splitting apart but it feels good. he had you rotate through combinations—jabs, crosses, teeps—and by the time he calls it he's shucking off the pads and watching you with appreciation.

"you're pretty good, princess." he tells you, "there's always room for improvement. but we'll get there." he clamps a massive hand onto your shoulder, "let's go getcha somethin' to drink and munch on real quick." he whisks you off towards the front area, but instead of taking you to the main waiting area—he leads you off to the side, and into what you assume is his office.

it's decently sized, and he's got a small fridge in the corner. when he opens it you note it's filled with protein drinks, bottles of water and electrolytes. he snags a gatorade and tosses it to you, then after closing the fridge he shoves his hand into a massive jar and fishes out a little protein bar for you. "sit," he nods at the small sitting area by the window.

you drop into one of the arm chairs, grateful as you break the seal to your drink and take a large gulp.

toji watches you for a moment, "so. what's your reason for wanting to get better? you aren't in it for competition, so. what is it? i know it sure as hell ain't just exercise for ya. the power behind your strikes paints a… vivid picture."

you think about it for a moment. what is your reason? there's many that come to the forefront of your mind. one being you've done this for years, and you simply enjoy it. it's therapeutic for you. another being it makes you feel good about yourself. boosts that confidence you struggled with for awhile. but at the end of the day? one reason stands out above all else.

"honestly? it used to be a hobby," you say fiddling with your drink cap. "something fun. i started martial arts young, a way for my parents to get me out of the house i guess." you shrug, "then eventually it became like… therapy. but now?" your mind drifts back to halloween last year, the party, naoya, his hands in your hair and feeling so fucking helpless—, "i want to be able to protect myself. no matter the situation."

toji watches you, "someone make you feel unsafe? i know los angeles has some shitty people—,"

you shake your head, "no, nobody local. it was… awhile ago. just something i don't want to repeat." your lips purse a little bit as you continue to speak, "i uh, had found myself in a situation at a party. you see i always had this… confidence that i could protect myself because i've been doing these sports for so long. but i was proven how wrong i was when i was easily overpowered. i was uh, drunk, but still. i just…"

"you don't want to feel powerless again, i get that." he says agreeing. "that's common, actually. some people think that just because they're good at performing in the gym that they can apply it just as easily in the real world. that isn't always the case."

you see a glint in his eyes when he looks at you, like maybe he's seeing a bit of someone else.

"look, i'm here late every tuesday and thursday. if you come by about two hours before closing we can work on some one on one stuff. self defense. i'll help brush you up with everything else too but… i'll show you how to actually hold your own in a real life situation."

you blink, "really? that'd be awesome! how much do i need to pay you?"

toji looks away from you, and you see he's staring at a photo frame on his desk. it's turned away so you can't make it out. "nothin' princess, consider it a good deed. just show up on time and listen to the shit i tell you and we're good."

"just like that?"

he nods, "yeah. i… i've got two kids. boy and a girl. my oldest, tsumiki, she's seven. i would want someone to do the same for her."

you find yourself thinking huh, that's actually incredibly sweet. this huge, gruff, thug-looking dude is just… a soft hearted dad deep down. "well… thanks. i really appreciate it."

"yeah well, don't thank me 'til you've knocked a guy twice your size out. that's our goal."

"uh-huh…"

that night you head home, tired, worn out—but hey. you've got a new gym, a new instructor, and los angeles is starting to feel a little more like home than your small forest town ever did.

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it's a random friday afternoon, you're laying sprawled across your living room with shoko and suguru. the brunette is visiting for the weekend, but somehow none of you had managed to decide just what you guys would do when she got here. sure you could go get food, or you could go to the beach, but all that's just… eh.

you're mindlessly scrolling through your phone, half slumped into shoko's side when a dainty tattoo of a crescent moon appears in your feed. the idea sparks in your head almost instantly. you drop your phone onto your chest, "guys," you say. "i know what we should do today."

shoko doesn't even look down at you, "uh-huh. and what's that phineas?"

you huff, pushing yourself upright and pout at her. "hey! i really do!"

"alright, enlighten us." suguru says from his spot in the arm chair adjacent to you. he clicks his screen off and gives you his full attention, "as long as it's nothing illegal at least."

"it's not," you assure, "i think we should go get the tattoos we always talked about. i saw this super cool tattoo shop last week when i was out—and i just… wouldn't it be cool? something for us and kinda spontaneous?"

"tattoos?" suguru asks raising his eyebrows. "what if we can't just walk in?"

"the sign said walk ins welcome!"

"hm," he stares at the ceiling for a moment, almost pondering. "well i suppose nothing says 'we're adults and make our own choices' like going and getting tattoos."

shoko shrugs, "i'm down. but like… won't your parents murder you both?"

you scoff, "yeah if they ever visit and see them. you really think they're going to use their obscene amount of PTO to visit us? hah!" you pick your phone back up and quickly do a little pinterest search, skimming through photos, then you grin. "perfect, look!" shoko peers over your shoulder, and suguru sighs, getting to his feet and dragging himself to your other side. he flops down with a little too much force and leans into you.

on your screen is an image of four tiny little designs. a crescent moon, a ringed planet, and an eight pointed star. nobody dares to bring up the fourth piece—the sun.

"well?" you ask, glancing back and forth between them. "we used to always talk about it in high school, so…?"

"yeah," shoko nods. "let's do it."

suguru grimaces, "you know this sort of… brands us together. forever. right?"

"sugu, we are literally twins. you are stuck with me regardless of the ink we put on our bodies."

"don't remind me."

shoko rolls her eyes and pats your cheek softly, "i want to be stuck with you. he's just a loser, ignore him."

suguru makes an offended noise but you and shoko are too busy snickering to pay him much mind. until he gets up and snatches his car keys and wallet from the counter and turns back to you two, "get up, let's go do this before we have time to actually think about it."

"yes!!" you shout hopping up with a bright little smile, "let's go!"

the tattoo shop is all faded brick, large glass pane windows, and neon lights bordering every frame. in large skinny capital letters just above the door it reads, 'KAMO INK.' the three of you stand outside the door for a moment, almost hesitant, but then before you can overthink it you push the heavy door open.

a bell chimes, and you hear the buzzing of a tattoo gun, then the scent of antiseptic and ink invades your senses. "be with you in a second." a flat, deep yet somehow soft voice greets you.

after a moment the buzzing stops and a man steps out from the back room, scanning over you. "walk ins?" he asks as he steps behind the front counter. he's tall, but not overwhelmingly so. there's a thick black strip of ink that stretches across the bridge of his nose and slightly onto his cheeks. his arms seem to be hidden from the elbow up, but you can hardly see any visible skin—swirls of patterns, shapes, and all sorts of things marring his lower arms.

"yeah, uh." you nervously smile, "matching tattoos? nothing crazy, uhm. very small!" you fumble with your purse and tug your phone out, and quickly open up to the reference photos you'd saved earlier. "we wanted to do these!"

the man looks for a moment before nodding, "yeah, i can do that. shouldn't take much time, but i need to finish up an appointment in the back. it'll be a little while before i'm done, that cool?"

you nod, "yeah! totally fine." you look over at your brother and shoko, and they both agree.

true to his word, it's another thirty or so minutes before the tattoo artist appears again. this time he has a pretty girl with icy white hair behind him. she looks tiny in comparison to him, and her face is blank, to the point you have to do a double take because you'd never seen such… lack of emotion before.

it doesn't take long for him to sort her out, punching in a few things on his computer, then swiping her card. they exchange a few soft spoken words, and then she's breezing past you and out the door.

"alright, let's get started." he says walking back over to your group. "name's choso kamo. i own the place, currently the only artist, but i've been doing this for a few years now. do you want to look through my work before we begin?"

that's probably a good idea. and how none of you had even thought of that? well… you definitely were impulsive.

"sure," you find yourself saying. "how many years exactly have you been doing this?"

choso indicates for you guys to follow him, and he leads you through the doorway, and into an open concept room. it's pretty, airy, and filled to the brim with art, plants, and various odd bits of decor. he leads you to the back corner, where he has large frames of his flash pieces on the walls, and a little table below, showcasing a thick leather bound book.

"five. i started as soon as i turned eighteen," he tells you, leaning down to grab the book. "here." he presses it into shoko's hands and you lean over her shoulder to get a good look as she opens it up. "i opened this place up a year ago, worked at a bigger shop since i graduated my apprenticeship. decided i wanted something of my own, so… here i am."

his work is phenomenal to say the least. you find yourself a bit awestruck at it. you'd think he'd been doing this his entire life if he hadn't just given you his actual career time.

"woah," you accidentally murmur.

he awkwardly shifts his feet, "so, still want to get some tattoos?"

suguru who's been pretty quiet speaks up, "well even if they don't want to, i do. i'm not even an art person but this is incredible."

you agree internally with his words. choso has an amazing talent. it almost makes you want to ask if he ever does art that isn't on skin.

choso's lips turn up ever so slightly, "alright. who wants to go first?"

shoko sets the book back down on the table, and then stretches her arms over her head.

"i'll go first," she grins lazily, "these two can be pretty wimpy. so i'll let them fight for last."

the three of you follow choso over to a spot by the large paned windowsills. he has his area set up in the natural sunlight. he points at the chair for shoko to sit, and you watch as he starts to ask questions. how big, placement, which design she was getting.

she answers everything easily, not too big, inside of the wrist, and the little planet with a ring.

you find yourself taking in all the art scattered around the space, until your eyes catch on a familiar smear of blues, blacks, and white. and you feel your heart nearly fall out of your chest.

it's your painting. one of the ones from the showcase last winter. you almost aren't sure, maybe someone made one eerily identical—but your eyes drift down and you see your signature all pretty and loopy in the bottom right corner.

they'd all been bought together so that means the other three have to be here somewhere. you scan the room searching, until you spot the familiar hands—yours and satoru's. two hands reaching out but never touching, your little red string wrapping around him—while his trails off the canvas, not to you.

those are the only two you spot though—the most personal of the paintings are nowhere to be seen. you find yourself walking over to the shades canvas, tracing your signature. choso glimpses up and sees you, and he nods at you as he speaks, indicating the painting you're looking at. "i picked that up last winter, it came with three other paintings." he tells you, "one is hung up over there." he tilts his head slightly off towards the red strings canvas.

you can't help it, "where are the other two?"

he smiles a bit as he begins the prep on shoko's arm, gently cleansing the wrist and wiping it off. "those two i wanted to keep for myself. well," he pauses, "one of them… the artist captured a group of friends on the beach. i've always wanted to find them so i could gift it back. it seemed… personal."

choso smooths over shoko's skin with a clean cloth, "the other one i gave my brother. he has it hung up in his bedroom. he really resonated with it. it's this gorgeous depiction of an old watchtower in a deep forest. and the sky above it is so beautiful and otherworldly…"

your throat works as you listen to him speak. "when's the last time you looked at the beach painting?" you're curious, because well, you thought it was pretty obvious if you looked at the three of you and the painting side by side.

choso furrows his brow. "it's been awhile… honestly probably not since a little after i bought them. i tucked it into my art closet for safekeeping."

that makes a little more sense then.

you finally turn away from the painting and you awkwardly laugh, "so, are you the one who bought them at the auction?"

he looks up then, hand stilling. "yeah, actually. how'd you know i got them at one?"

you shrug a shoulder, lips quirking a bit. "'cause they were mine."

something seems to click in the tattoo artist's mind. "i can't believe i didn't realize… you are the spitting image of the beach painting." he looks between each of you, and suguru and shoko are snickering.

"well, um. if you wanted it, i could bring it to the shop and you could pick it up sometime?"

you hesitate for a moment. the idea of taking that painting back, and having to look at satoru—, but… it is a good memory. "yeah, sure." you smile softly, "thanks, that's pretty considerate."

after that the conversation begins to revolve around more art—mainly between you and choso, but suguru and shoko chime in here and there. by the time it's been an hour or so, you're each freshly tattooed and ready to go.

you each pay for your ink, wrists covered and happy with the results. before you leave, you and choso make plans for you to come grab the beach painting sometime soon, and then you're off, heading back to you and suguru's apartment.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

today you'd decided to explore a little more of the town—suguru was apparently too busy to indulge you today, so a solo adventure it was. it's been maybe four days since you got your tattoos done, and yours is healing up nicely. you'd already grabbed the painting from choso yesterday, though it's tucked deep in your closet so you don't have to look at it.

that's how you find yourself grabbing your keys and tossing your purse over your shoulder as you leave the apartment. you're wearing a pretty camisole, it's pristine white and lacy at the top with a cute little bow that ties just between your cleavage. beneath you have on a pair of light washed blue jean shorts. it's truly the perfect summer outfit.

the warm sun beats down on you as you wander down the sidewalk downtown, passing cute storefronts filled with anything you could imagine. from boutiques to flower shops, there was even a hole in the wall reading cafe that looked like it had mismatching bookshelves and worn large chairs. you make a mental note to check it out another time.

you glance down at your phone, checking to see if suguru has replied about dinner or not. annnnd he did.

from: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳 

i'm having dinner with satoru tonight, so don't wait for me to eat. and don't just eat frozen nuggets again.

you roll your eyes, thumbing out a reply when you suddenly slam into a brick wall. your phone clatters to the ground, your purse flies across the sidewalk, and you wince as you fall backwards landing right on your ass. it takes you a moment—but then you feel a distinctly wet and sticky sensation covering the entirety of your torso.

slowly your eyes drift down and your jaw goes slack. vibrant green slush is dripping off your white. vintage. t-shirt.

"shit," curses a deep voice.

your eyes narrow as you glance up at the brick wall you'd run into. he's tall, honestly taller than anyone you'd seen before, but maybe it's because you're ass down on the sidewalk. the black t-shirt he's wearing stretches tight across his broad chest doing nothing to hide the obvious muscle he has underneath, and his massive corded arms stick out, covered in a sea of intricate black ink. though the thing that sticks out the most? his pink hair.

he crouches down to your level, scooping up your purse, hastily shoving your spilled items back inside—he picks up your phone quickly looking it over for cracks. you see him literally sag with relief when he realizes it's in perfect condition somehow. he gently tucks that into your purse as well.

there's a now empty slushee cup in his other hand. the sight of it fills you with pure rage.

"you make a habit of running girls over and drenching them in your nasty neon drinks?" you ask, yanking your purse back into your own hands, slinging it over your shoulder.

he raises his eyebrows, "no, not usually. only the ones who aren't paying attention to their surroundings."

you scoff, "what about you? you ran into me!"

"nah, pretty sure it was the other way around, sweetheart."

your lip curls into a snarl. "well, either way, you ruined my shirt. this wasn't cheap, so thanks for that."

he rolls his eyes, and stands back up, then offers you his hand. it's huge and covered in a multitude of rings. there's even some ink curling around the top of his hand and down his fingers. "gonna let me help you up, or you just gonna sit down there and whine?"

despite his attitude you reach up and clasp your fingers around his and let him pull you to your feet. once you're upright, you're able to fully take in his height and sure enough—he's definitely way taller than anyone you'd met before. and okay wow, despite the whole ruining your shirt and making you fall on your ass, he's got to be the most attractive man you've seen in well… ever?

"hello? earth to brat?"

you blink, and flush bright pink realizing you'd just been caught blatantly staring at him. "uh, sorry." you bite the inside of your cheek trying to quell the embarrassment, "what'd you say?"

he rolls his eyes again, "i said there's a laundromat a few blocks away. i'll take you there and get the stain out before it sets."

"uh," you furrow your eyebrows, "am i supposed to just wait around in my bra or something? i don't have a spare shirt on me."

"no, genius." he says like you've just said something completely idiotic. "you can wear my jersey, it's in my bag. freshly cleaned so it's not all gross or anything." then he leans down and picks up a duffle bag that'd been sat at his feet. he must've set it down when he crouched down to help you?

your mind races for a moment. should you really go with this stranger to the laundromat? isn't that sort of a terrible idea? then again it's a public laundromat. and you really don't want this shirt to be ruined—fuck it. "alright, lead the way."

he nods his head towards the way you'd been walking and turns around, waiting for you to fall into step with him. “figured with that attitude of yours you'd resist any sort of help." he says with a little smirk, glancing down at you.

 "yeah well, i don't want my seventy five dollar shirt to be completely ruined, so."

"seventy five dollars? for that scrap of fabric? jesus christ, what the hell is it made of? gold?"

that makes you scowl, "it's a nice shirt. vintage. so i hope you know what you're doing, because if you ruin the lace i'll—"

he cuts you off, "what, you gonna kick my ass, sweetheart?" the way he sounds so condescending and cocky and so fucking self assured like you're not even a threat pisses you off.

"i was going to say i'd make you buy me a new one, but you know what? yeah. maybe i need to beat your ass in the ring," you spit out as you clench your fists. then under your breath you mutter to yourself, "egotistical prick."

"oh? in the ring huh? you do tai chi?"

if it weren't for the fact you're walking down a public sidewalk you'd stop and tear him a fucking new one. instead you settle for giving him a nasty glare, "no. for your information, i've been doing brazilian jiu jitsu and muay thai since i was five."

he raises his eyebrows, "huh. you don't look the type." then he's nudging you, "it's right here." and he walks up to the worn metal door and tugs it open, holding it for you. "ladies first."

you scoff, "how chivalrous."

that earns a sharp laugh from him, "i try my best. my mother would be appalled if i didn't open the door for a pretty lady."

"mmm, and how would she feel about you running one over and staining her shirt with a bright green slushee?"

"well, i'm taking you to get the stain removed, aren't i? i had to learn somewhere." he moves towards the back wall, where there's a large sink with a cabinet directly overhead. you watch as he starts the water, and begins pulling out items from above. he then looks over his shoulder, "alright. come over here, i'll give you the jersey so you can change."

you sigh, and do as you're told. he sets the duffle bag on the adjacent counter and digs out the said jersey. it's blue and gold, and the fabric is soft when he plops it in your outstretched hands. he tilts his head to a door right beside you, "bathroom's there."

with an eyeroll your fingers dig into the fabric and you spin on your heel to duck into the bathroom he pointed out. you quickly tug the delicate shirt over your head and lay it gently across the countertop beside the sink, grimacing at the neon green splotches seeping into it. then you grumble to yourself and finally yank the jersey over your head. it falls just past the middle of your thighs, covering the jean shorts you're wearing. the thing looks like a mini dress on you, and you just know if suguru caught you wearing this he'd probably have an aneurysm.

after inspecting yourself in the mirror and making sure your makeup is still pristine and your hair isn't a wreck, you exit the bathroom with your little lacy scrap of fabric in your hands. the mysterious pink haired man is leaning against the counter looking in your direction and his eyes flick up and down and he smirks, but he doesn't say anything. instead he holds his hand out expectantly, and when you're close enough you huff and give him the shirt.

he turns back to the sink, which is now filled with cold water. he takes the shirt and soaks it, then he wrings it out and sets it onto the marble counter. you watch curiously as he smooths the material out flat, and then pulls out dawn dish soap. he heavily pours it over the green stain and massages it generously into the fabric.

"alright, gotta let it sit for a bit. i'll set a timer on my phone," he mutters, almost to himself as he wipes his hands on his joggers, then pulls his phone from his pocket. when he's done he turns back to you and tilts his head, "so, you gotta name?"

you blink at him, "do i gotta name?" you ask flatly, "gee, you know what? i don't. my parents just called me 'girl.' names aren't really their thing."

he snorts, "okay, smartass." he says, then he leans back against the edge of the sink, and extends his hand to you, almost lazily. "sukuna itadori," he says. "though, you may have seen my last name when you put the jersey on."

"oh," you look down at the fabric tugging at it, "actually i just threw it on so…" then you finally take his hand, and shake, giving him your first and last name in return. you can't help but be curious, "so, you go to ucla?" you ask. the jersey is the same colors of your new university. he must be on the football team.

"mhm," he tilts his head. "you really have no clue who i am, huh?"

you arch an eyebrow, "am i supposed to?"

he barks a laugh, "most people around here tend to know the local university's quarterback. not to mention i'm kind of being sought out for the draft so…"

it's all foreign to you. you don't know jackshit about sports. the only thing you vaguely know about is basketball and that's because satoru played in high school. "sorry," you grin, "i'm clueless about sports."

sukuna just shakes his head, "can't say i'm too surprised, a brat like you probably couldn't tell the difference between baseball and softball."

"rude," you narrow your eyes, "well mister hot shot. if you're the school's quarterback, what year are you in?"

"i'll be in my third year this fall," he runs his fingers through his already messy pink hair, "working on getting a bachelor's degree in sports management."

"didn't you just say you're supposed to get drafted?"

"well yeah, but everyone needs a back up plan. can't play ball forever."

you hum, crossing your arms over your chest, hair falling to the side as you squint at him, head tilting.

sukuna ignores your scrutinizing and continues on, "so what about you? you going to school?"

"yeah," you nod. "first year this fall. i'm studying art. i think i want to pursue a career in art therapy." it'd been something you had thought an awful lot about lately. art really helped you work through your own emotions and problems so… why not do that for others?

"interesting," his dark brown eyes seem to sparkle with interest. "my brother's an artist. he's always been vocal about how everyone's art speaks if you listen. whatever the hell that means."

you'd never heard something so true in your life. it brings a genuine smile to your face. "your brother is right. art is a language of its own. if you really look at an artist's work you can see inside their head and their heart."

just as sukuna is about to reply, his phone alarm rings through the empty laundromat. he sighs, silencing it before turning back to your shirt on the counter. then he continues to work on it, bringing it back to the sink and rinsing it. he scrubs lightly at the fabric as he does, washing it with warm water this time. you watch with fascination as you see the green dye bleed out of the white fabric, pooling down the sink's drain.

it takes him only a few more moments before the shirt is almost fully stain free.

"wow," you stare at it, pretty impressed. "i really didn't think you could pull this off."

sukuna ignores you, wringing the shirt out, and then he snatches his duffle bag, and heads over to one of the smaller washing machines. he opens the door and tosses your shirt in, before opening his bag and tossing a bundle of work out clothes in with it. he puts in a bit of laundry soap and fabric softener, and starts the machine. "it'll be fully clean once this cycle is done." he says almost mindlessly, "you don't want to put something small like that in alone, so hope you don't mind me washing my shit with it."

you swallow, eyes catching on the visible muscles on his biceps as he finishes what he's doing. "uh, yeah. that's cool." your eyes flick back to him, "thanks."

he stands back up turning back to face you. he cocks an eyebrow. "for?"

then you gesture vaguely towards him and the washing machine. "most people wouldn't help some girl they just met get a stain out of her shirt. so, thanks."

sukuna shrugs one shoulder, "like i told you. my mom would kill me if i didn't. she raised me better than that."

you laugh, "yeah, seems so."

the next hour is spent chatting about random things, and bickering back and forth. by the time the buzzer sounds from the dryer, you're kind of… sad. that your time with him is coming to an end. there is just something about him that sort of makes you feel like… you're napping in the sun. wrapped in warmth and comfort. even if he's kind of a dick.

you take the now dry and stain free shirt, and go back to the bathroom to change. its fabric is warm against your skin. sukuna's jersey is loose in your hand as you return to the main room, handing it back to him. "well," you say shifting your feet, "guess this is where we go separate ways huh?"

he smirks, "don't miss me too much, brat."

you scowl, "as if i could miss the asshole who spilled a neon green monstrosity on me."

"well that asshole got the stain out, so."

"whatever," you shove his arm slightly and then your phone buzzes.

from: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳 

i have a feeling you're planning on frozen nuggets again despite what i said. so i'm having dinner sent to the apartment. don't let it just sit, grab it and eat it.

suguru is always worrying after you. you laugh, and look up at sukuna, "well. i have to get home, apparently dinner's going to be ready soon."

the pink haired man hums, duffle bag slung on his shoulder, hands shoved into the pockets of his sweats. "don't run into anyone else carrying drinks on your way back."

"i don't think that'll be an issue." you huff, "thanks again." you give him a small smile. then you're stepping out onto the sidewalk where the sun is just starting to dip a bit, "night."

"goodnight, brat." he gives you a lazy little finger salute, walking backwards on the sidewalk, before he turns around and continues on his way. you stand there for just a moment, watching his figure retreat.

you can't help it when the thought crosses your mind.

'i kinda hope i see him again.'

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

after that day, it's like the universe is leading you to each other.

again.

and again.

and again.

the first time you see him after that is merely three days later when you decide to head to the campus bookstore and get the books you need for your first semester. you're in the mathematics section, trying your best to reach the book you need, but it's just barely out of your reach.

you're on your tip toes, jumping trying to reach the damn thing. but you're just not quite tall enough. your fingers keep grazing it but it's not enough to get a grip on it. suddenly you feel heat at your back, and a heavily tattooed arm appears beside your head, ring covered hand easily grabbing the thick red colored spine.

when the arm retreats back you spin around and find sukuna smirking down at you. "this what you were looking for?" he asks, "just a little too tall for you huh, shorty?"

your hand darts out and snatches the book, hugging it tightly to your chest. "don't call me that." then you loosen your shoulders and try to stand straighter. "i could've handled it without your help."

"uh huh… with what? a step stool?" he barks a laugh at his own joke, and you want to punch the bastard in his smug face.

instead of replying you glare and begin walking down the aisle, eyes scanning the list on your phone, and you start plucking the rest of what you need off the shelves. thankfully none of them are on the top shelf like that stupid mathematics book. sukuna trails after you making comments here and there, poking at you.

"ah, you sure you can reach that?"

"oh that looks too heavy, your arms seem tired…"

"wow, impressive that someone of your stature can carry that much."

by the time you're checking out you're ready to strangle him. you practically jam the card into the reader, and snatch the bag of books from the cashier. sukuna who only has two books tucked under his arms, having purchased just after you, follows you out. "sure you don't need my help carrying all that home? looks like it's weighing you down."

you practically growl, "i'm fine."

so much for wanting to see the bastard again.

but it doesn't stop there, because of course it doesn't. the next time you run into the pink haired menace it's at the cute little flower shop you'd spotted the day he ruined your shirt. you had wanted to get a few bundles of flowers to freshen up the apartment, maybe even a few plants. today you had the car, because suguru was doing some summer reading back at home.

you're ready to place your bouquets and little air plants on the counter, but someone else is already in front of you getting rung up. and by now you know the back of him anywhere. the stupid pink hair and unfairly attractive muscular arms with scrawling ink. he's got a beautiful bouquet in his arms, full of baby's breath, daisies, and greenery.

he nearly bumps into you when he turns around to leave. you go still, eyes a little wide, unsure of what exactly to say. like oh, nice to see you again, are those for your girlfriend that you never mentioned?

sukuna seems to read your mind. he pats the wrapped bouquet with his free hand. "they're for my mom," he tells you. "it's her birthday today."

"oh," you say, mouth open slightly, "uh, cool. happy birthday to your mom." you fidget awkwardly, two pots of succulents in one arm, flowers in the other.

he laughs, "see you around, sweetheart." and then he's gone again and your mind is fucking dizzy and reeling thanks to him. so you do your best to shove his stupid smirking face from your mind and pay for your plants.

the universe is cruel, because the following tuesday after a brutal work out with toji, you stop at the corner store by the gym to grab a coffee and protein bar. you're leaving the cooler aisle when you nearly run into someone. you stop just short, and look up to see sukuna, holding a stupid green slushee. again.

"you gonna spill it on me again?" you bite out, knuckles going white around the cold can in your hands.

"only if you want me to," he drawls, lightly shaking the cup in front of you. "could make another trip to the laundromat if you want."

an annoyed scream tears from your throat and you shove past him, stomping to the register. you practically toss your can and protein bar on the counter, and then toss the cashier wrinkled cash before taking your items back. you don't even look over your shoulder at sukuna but you can feel his smug gaze locked on you as you leave, so you raise your hand, after shoving the bar into your pocket, and flip him off. his laugh echoes in your ears as you leave.

the fourth and final coincidence happens one late evening after private lessons with toji. the gym had long since closed for the night, so it was just you and toji left. the elder man was busy shutting things down, telling you to head home for the night, when the gym door swings open.

you stop in your tracks, hand tight around the strap of your gym bag on your shoulder when you see him.

"okay," you say holding out a hand like you're silencing him, "this is just insane now. are you stalking me or what?"

sukuna raises his eyebrows, "stalking you? yeah right." he says, "why the hell would i stalk a woman with an attitude as bad as yours?"

"bad attitude?" you ask incredulously. "the hell do you mean bad attitude. you're the one who—"

before you can tear into sukuna, toji appears behind you, wiping his hands on a rag and tossing it over his shoulder. "you two know each other?"

sukuna smirks, "you could say that."

you scoff, "this asshole spilled his fucking neon green slushee on me, stained my favorite shirt and now it's like i can't get rid of him!"

toji glances between you, something seeming to click in his head, "ohhhh," he smirks, "this is the girl you won't shut up about."

sukuna's ears turn the faintest bit pink. he glares at the raven haired man, "shut up, old man."

toji rolls his eyes, "barely older than you, brat."

you look at sukuna, crossing your arms, a giant smirk twitching on your lips, "so you talk about me huh?"

he rolls his eyes, "don't let it get to your head. i've complained about how annoying you are."

"how annoying i am?! you're the one who's a prick every time we run into each other!"

sukuna laughs, "because you make it too easy."

you dig your nails into your palms, leaving crescent moon shaped dents. "god you're so insufferable. i'm leaving."

but before you can stomp past him, sukuna's hand shoots out and gently wraps around your wrist, stopping you. "hold on a sec," he successfully gets you to halt. "look," he stares at you, looking strangely… vulnerable for once. "normally i don't believe in fate and all that bullshit but… you're literally everywhere i go. and that has to mean something so… yeah." he shifts his stance, "at least give me your phone number?"

at least give me your phone number?

normally i don't believe in fate—

you blink. staring at him blankly for several seconds before a delighted laugh ripples out of you. "oh my god, was that a pick up line?"

sukuna glares, "if i was trying to 'pick you up' you'd know, trust me. i just figure maybe it's a sign that we should be friends or something."

your laughter quiets down and you sigh, shaking your head, a smile lingering. you dig into the side of your gym bag and pull out your phone, quickly unlocking it and opening the contacts. "fine, here. but you better not use this to pester me more than you already do."

"wouldn't dream of it." he replies dryly, taking your phone, quickly entering his name and number, before sending himself a text so he has yours as well. "well here you go," he says handing it back. "i'll be seeing you around then, sweetheart."

you nod, warmth flooding your cheeks, so you quickly jam it back into your bag and turn briskly back to the door, shouting a farewell over your shoulder.

damn that bastard. he just knows how to get under your skin.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

the first time you hang out with sukuna officially, he comes to pick you up from your apartment on his motorcycle. when you'd walked down to the parking lot and seen him leaning against it, you immediately told him nope.

but he just grinned, holding out the spare helmet for you.

against your better judgment, you hopped onto the back and wrapped your arms tightly around his torso—cheek pressing against his shoulder, watching as the world blurred around you. the wind whipping at your face, blowing your hair in a million directions.

the ride wasn't long. it took maybe fifteen minutes before he slowed to a stop in front of the massive museum he had said he'd take you to. apparently he often came here with his family, so he's somewhat of an expert or something.

you make it inside, and he immediately drags you towards the dinosaur exhibit—where there's lots of bones on display, sculptures of life like dinosaurs, fossilized footprints.

much to your shock he's able to recite facts off the top of his head as if he's the damn exhibit's curator.

"how the hell do you know all this?" you ask after he finished explaining that a common way to tell if a specimen is a piece of fossil bone or just a rock is to stick it to your tongue. permineralized bone will typically stick to your tongue, a rock will not.

sukuna laughs, hands in his pockets as he glances at you. "my nephew is a dinosaur nerd. i've sort of just… gleaned everything from him."

that's kind of cute.

"you guys come here a lot?"

he nods, "yeah. my brother works long hours and tends to do away jobs a lot. so i help whenever i can. it's sort of a whole family ordeal."

that makes you smile, "that's nice. you guys must all be pretty close huh?"

"yeah… there's five of us. technically four, but well you know toji. mom kinda took him in when he was young. he's basically family in all but blood."

you think about the kids toji's mentioned, tsumiki and megumi. "oh wow, does that mean your nephew and his kids are pretty close then?"

sukuna actually groans. "don't even bring that up. those little tyrants make me want to bash my head against a wall."

"c'mon they're kids. they can't be that bad."

he crosses his arms, glaring at a life size model of a velociraptor. "yuiji is already enough to handle. but add in the other two brats and it's just horrible."

you snort, "not a fan of kids?"

sukuna side eyes you, "i didn't say that."

"mhm," you nudge him with your elbow, "certainly seems that way."

he shakes his head and you almost don't hear him as he gets the words out in a rush. "look they're all good kids, they're just… dictators. i love them but fuck."

the thought of sukuna surrounded by kids, being forced to take them to the park, to get ice cream, to watch their tv shows. it makes you melt a little bit.

"well i'm sure they love you too," you say with a little smile. then you look towards another open hall, leading to the art exhibit, "let's head over there, so i can give you fun facts instead." the two of you walk side by side, not quite touching, but brushing against each other every few steps, and disappear down the hallway.

hours later when you exit the museum you're starving. to the point that your stomach is rumbling and it's loud enough for sukuna to laugh at you and make a comment.

"alright, let's feed you before you decide to eat me."

you punch his arm gently, "you're such a prick."

he grins at you, all pearly white teeth and abnormally sharp canines. you squint your eyes before speaking again, "if anyone's eating anyone, you'd eat me, you vampire."

sukuna just rolls his eyes and hands you the spare helmet.

he drives the two of you to a small diner near your apartment building. the sort that still has a bar with spinning leather stools, an old woman with a waist apron, and the smell of freshly brewed coffee. there's little neon lights lining the tops of the walls, casting a glow despite the sun still shining.

you're skimming through the menu, before you settle on a juicy looking burger with greasy fries.

sukuna arches an eyebrow, "no salad?"

"oh my god," you roll your eyes. "a girl can enjoy a salad and a good burger. i just happen to have the urge to eat half a cow, okay?"

"rabid are you?"

you kick him in the shin beneath the table.

the waitress comes over and cheerily takes your orders, setting glasses of cold ice water on the table, and then flits off to the kitchen leaving the two of you alone once more.

"so," you start, leaning back into the plush leather booth, eyeing sukuna. "where'd you get all the ink?"

he glances down at his arms, almost fondly. "my brother's a tattoo artist. i've always been his test dummy."

"wait like, you just let him practice on your skin? with permanent ink?!"

"i mean, it looks pretty good doesn't it?"

you blink, "i mean yes but—,"

sukuna shrugs, "it works out. right now we're working on designing a back piece for me. what about you, sweetheart, you got any ink?"

that's when you realize the dainty little moon inside your wrist has been covered by your sleeves or your apple watch almost every time you've seen sukuna. so you bunch up the sleeve of the flannel you're wearing over your dainty camisole, and hold your wrist out proudly.

"i got this with my twin and our best friend. we're matching. sugu has a star, and sho has a little planet," you grin thinking about them, "pretty cute huh?"

sukuna reaches out and holds your wrist, rolling it gently in his hand as he looks at the neat black lines. "it is. suits you."

you can't help the flush creeping up your neck. "ha," you look away, "the guy who did it was pretty cool. get this—," you pause dramatically. "he has my art in his studio! i did this auction event last winter and i guess he's the one who won."

sukuna drops your wrist softly back to the table, hand retreating back to his lap. "really? that's pretty crazy. seems fate really has been running your life lately," he smirks, and you know he's talking about himself and all your encounters.

"you're pretty talkative about fate for someone who claims they don't believe in it," you pick at your nails, still not looking at him.

you can feel the heat of his stare, "yeah well, kinda hard not to when it drops someone like you into my lap."

then there's the sound of footsteps on the worn linoleum floor, and the waitress from before appears with your food lining her arms. she flashes a sweet smile as she settles the plates in front of you, checking if you need anything else before she bustles away.

for just a moment, you can't help but think—that a year ago at this time, you couldn't fathom ever being in this position. a year ago, you didn't really know life outside of satoru and his big blue eyes. the sun that always pulled you into his orbit.

finally you glance up at sukuna. he's focused on his meal now and there's a dribble of ketchup on the corner of his lip. you feel yourself softening slightly at the sight. it makes him appear so much younger. maybe life outside of satoru isn't so bad.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

it happens so seamlessly you don't even realize until you're already in a routine. sukuna seems to fill all the empty spaces in your life you hadn't quite acknowledged or realized existed.

he becomes the person you text at two o'clock in the morning when you can't sleep. the one you send the stupidest memes to. he's the one you call when you want to clear your head and go stare at the ocean. but he's also the person who gets you out of your comfort zone, trying new things, going on adventures.

you'd texted him a bit ago.

to: sukuna 👹👹

i'm bored. come get me

from: sukuna 👹👹

i'm watching the brat for jin today.

but if you don't mind that, you can come get ice cream with us.

to: sukuna 👹👹

 ice cream and the cutest kid ever?

sign me up!!!

over the last month and a half or so of your new friendship with sukuna, you'd gotten to know his nephew through photos and videos he sends you or little stories he tells you when you hang out. and yuiji is seriously the cutest thing in the world.

you're dressed in a pretty little sundress and ready to step out the door, sandals on and purse on your shoulder.

"another date?"

you turn around and see your twin leaning against the hallway archway, looking at you with raised eyebrows.

"it's not a date. none of this has been dating, sugu."

"uh huh," he says sounding entirely unconvinced. "where's he taking you in that outfit?"

you huff, crossing your arms, glaring at your brother. "for your information, i'm going to get ice cream with him and yuiji."

"his nephew?" he lets out a long whistle, "getting pretty serious. i have to text shoko."

irritation and annoyance bubble up in you. you glance around before spotting a few protein bars you'd left haphazardly on the entryway table. your fingers curl around one and you hurl it at your brother as hard as you can, but he's used to your antics so he merely tilts out of the way.

"have fun," he lilts, "be safe!"

you growl and turn back to the front door and wrench it open and stomp out. stupid suguru and his stupid comments and his stupid meddling. you swear that him and shoko are insane. they think that you and sukuna are dating no matter how many times you explain you're just friends.

but that doesn't matter. they're dumb.

by the time you reach your lobby you see a familiar figure waiting for you, arms crossed. and just to his left you see a much smaller almost identical version of him, practically vibrating in his spot.

"wow!" yuiji exclaims, his eyes widening as you draw closer to them. "uncle 'kuna wasn't kidding, you are really pretty."

you smirk a little, looking up at sukuna, who scowls down at yuiji, smacking him on the back of the head.

"shut up, brat." sukuna hisses, then he looks up. "he's putting words in my mouth. i told him you weren't ugly when he asked."

"oh how sweet," you say laughing. then you turn your attention back to yuiji, crouching slightly to be the same height as him. you stick out your hand, "nice to meet you, yuiji. i've heard all about you."

he grins, one tooth missing, bandaid on his cheek. "i've heard all about you too! uncle 'kuna doesn't stop talking about you," he barrels on, hardly taking a breath between sentences. "yknow uncle toji says you're spicy and pretty. he says that's perfect for uncle 'kuna." he grips your hand with both of his, rapidly shaking it.

you nearly choke, but refrain from doing so. "oh really?" you say, "that's interesting." you don't even dare to look at sukuna. instead you continue on as if yuiji had described the weather. "i've been told we're going to get ice cream. you excited?"

"yeah! uncle 'kuna said we can even go to the park after. there's this suuuper cool dinosaur park near the ice cream shop. it's got like this huge jungle gym shaped like dinosaur ribs!"

"that sounds so cool." you tell him, nodding. then you draw yourself back to your full height. "let's get going. you can tell me all about the dinosaurs when we get our ice cream. your uncle 'kuna says you're kinda the expert."

yuiji smiles so bright you think you'll go blind, and then he reaches up and intertwines his little fingers with yours and nods, tugging you towards the lobby doors. "i am! you'll be one too once i tell you all that i know."

you don't catch it, but sukuna watches the two of you, as he trails behind. and there's something dangerously close to fondness and adoration in his eyes.

"alright, don't talk her ear off before we even get in the car, brat." sukuna says, pulling the car keys out of his pants pocket.

"uncle 'kunaaaa," yuiji whines.

you just grin, "he's just grumpy. don't listen to him," you whisper, laughing slightly, and then the three of you are out of the building and heading towards the car.

it isn't that long of a drive to the infamous ice cream shop—apparently this is the ice cream shop according to yuiji. he tells you that his uncle 'kuna takes him here 'cause he says the workers know how to 'shut the fuck up.'

you shoot sukuna a look when his five year old nephew says that. he just smirks, and agrees, muttering something about hating overly friendly retail workers.

eventually you enter the shop. it's cute, almost vintage looking. a little bell rings overhead signaling your entrance. the walls are a soft pastel blue with hand painted murals of ice cream cones and thick wavy lines. all the seating consists of golden metal tables and chairs with soft pastel colored cushions and table tops. it's nice. it feels light and airy.

yuiji immediately runs up to the glass ice cream case, palms spreading out over the glass leaving smudges as he nearly presses his face against it too. sukuna steps up to his side and immediately nudges him back, admonishing him in a low whisper. yuiji pouts but listens to his uncle.

you drift over to yuiji's other side, eyes scanning the vast amounts of flavors. both you and sukuna settle on your orders relatively fast, but it takes forever to get a definite answer out of yuiji.

eventually he settles on a waffle bowl with three different scoops of ice cream, bits of oreos, rainbow sprinkles, and whipped cream. yeah that was definitely a sugar rush waiting to happen and you're not quite sure this kid needs any more help in the excitement department.

the three of you stand in front of the register, and you really understand just what yuiji meant about the workers now. because the young guy who took your orders didn't say a single word to you—and the girl who looks around your age, that rings you up? she's a total bitch.

she's chewing gum, smacking it loud enough that you're clenching your jaw and holding yourself back from making a comment. the way she huffs and puffs and sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes is enough to make your nails dig into the palm of your hand that isn't holding your ice cream.

yuiji is bouncing in his spot, between you and sukuna, his eyes wide as he eagerly tries to spoon a bit of ice cream into his mouth. his hand misses though, and the spoon smacks his cheek, ice cream splattering on him and the floor.

the cashier makes an annoyed scoff, "ugh. can you like, please control it?"

you blink.

control it?

about yuiji? a child? she just…referred to him like a stray dog—

your shoulders tense up as your eyes narrow, staring her dead in the face. "excuse me?"

her gaze lazily slides over to you, "i said could you control it? ugh. kids are so annoying. seriously."

"you're talking about him like he's a fucking dog. he's a kid," you hiss out, taking a slight step forward, positioning yuiji behind your legs. "if you don't like them maybe you shouldn't work in a damn ice cream shop."

you feel sukuna's hand on your wrist, like he's trying to placate you, but you don't even spare him a glance as you continue on. "where's your manager?"

she wrinkles her nose, "what are you? a karen?"

your blood spikes at her fucking tone. if yuiji weren't here and it weren't a felony, you'd jump the counter and show the bitch what a karen you can be. but instead you breathe in through your nose, shutting your eyes for a moment to ground yourself. then you open them, and glance at her name tag. "listen here teresa. we are paying customers, who wanted to get ice cream. that's all. we didn't come here to get your nasty attitude. so apologize or i will make sure i send your manager a thorough email about your shitty customer service skills."

she rolls her eyes and you want to scream. "ugh. whatever. sorry."

behind you, sukuna reaches into his wallet and tosses a twenty dollar bill on the counter. he tightens his grip on your wrist and tugs, "let's go to the park. she's not worth our time."

you try to argue, but he has your wrist in one hand and his ice cream in the other, and yuiji's a bit confused but trailing beside sukuna as you exit the ice cream shop.

"i had that handled." you grit out, annoyed that he forced you to leave.

"uh huh. what, you gonna leap over and beat her ass?"

you give him a look, before turning to look at yuiji, who's still happily shoveling ice cream into his mouth. "you okay, buddy?"

he glances over at you, a toothy grin spreading, "yeah! you were all raaahhhh! like how uncle 'kuna gets! he does that too when he says people are bein' assholes."

you have to stop yourself from laughing at him. because that shouldn't be funny but it is. "well, sometimes people deserve what they get."

"uncle 'kuna says that too!"

you snort, glancing back to sukuna who's smirking, casually licking a bit of his ice cream.

"well, let's go to that super cool dinosaur park now, okay?"

"yeahhhh!!" yuiji shouts, then he's shoving the last of his ice cream into his mouth and begins biting the waffle bowl—how the hell he downed three scoops so fast you don't know. after he takes another bite and swallows, he sprints off down the sidewalk towards the large opening of the park.

you keep your eyes trained on him as you and sukuna trail after at a much slower pace. sukuna nudges you with his elbow, "you've known the kid less than forty minutes and you were already ready to commit a crime for him," he snickers, "toji's right. you do fit right in."

the two of you make it into the open area of the playground, dropping onto a bench so you can watch yuiji. and it's nice, peaceful in a way, despite yuiji constantly running up to you and dragging you towards the monkey bars, the swings, the slide, anything really.

by the time the afternoon drags on, and yuiji's beginning to yawn, the three of you head back to sukuna's car. once he's properly seated in his booster, sukuna starts the engine and heads towards where you assume yuiji lives.

in the backseat, despite his yawns, yuiji still finds the energy to talk. he sleepily calls out your name, "y'know this weekend i have a soccer game. will you come?"

you pause, "uhm i'm not sure if—,"

"pleaaase! i want you to see how cool i am when i kick the ball!"

you glance over at sukuna who shrugs, and so you slump and relent. "yeah, i'll be there, bud."

yuiji smiles like he always does, but his eyelids begin to droop. and just like that, he passes out cold in the backseat.

the drive is quiet, but it's not awkward. if anything it's comfortable. it takes another twenty minutes before you're entering a rather nice little suburb, pretty houses with front porches and picket fences. sukuna pulls into an expansive driveway, where two other vehicles are already parked. the house is a soft blue, with a bright yellow door.

the front door opens and a tall man steps out. he looks almost identical to sukuna but a little older and a little softer. no visible tattoos, his features aren't as chiseled or angular, his eyes are warm and tired.

sukuna gets out of the car, and circles around to meet who you assume is his older brother. they talk for a moment before jin opens the back door and gets yuiji out of the back, still asleep, slumped into his shoulder.

jin gives you a soft smile and a little wave, before heading up the porch steps and back inside. sukuna huffs a little, rolling his eyes, before walking back to the driver's side and slipping into his seat. "now that the brat is home, wanna go get somethin' to eat?"

you laugh softly, kicking your feet onto the dash, nodding. "yeah, sure. only if i get to pick though."

"you always do," he mutters, almost more to himself than you, before throwing the car into reverse and heading back into the setting sunlight.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

the weekend comes fast, and you find yourself tucked into sukuna's passenger seat late saturday morning. you're wearing leggings and a soft t-shirt with some sneakers. he gave you shit about looking like the too young step-mom who's trying to be a soccer-mom.

you were pretty nervous, which considering it's a children's soccer game made you feel pretty silly. however this was meeting basically sukuna's entire family. you'd never really… met anyone outside of shoko or satoru's families. though you couldn't really remember that feeling considering you'd known them for so long.

it also still feels… odd sometimes, to be growing this close with someone else. getting out of your little bubble. it's not like you had much of a choice considering shoko wouldn't be moving until august, and suguru was constantly doing course work despite not having even begun the semester yet. it's that or he was going home to visit satoru.

he tried to almost hide it, keep it a secret, but you've told him and shoko so many times you don't care if they're friends with satoru. that they can hang out with him, talk to him, you don't mind. honestly you want them to because it drives you a little crazy knowing that he had a nasty breakup and you can't even comfort him.

you're still in your head, until you feel a sharp flick to your forehead.

"ow—fuck! what was that for, asshole?!" you turn to glare at sukuna who's giving you a flat unimpressed stare. it takes you a moment to realize you're parked now just outside the soccer field for yuiji's game, parents and families everywhere setting up little spots with chairs and coolers to watch.

"what's got you spacin' out like a dumbass?"

you shove at his arm, "i'm just nervous. don't give me that look."

"you're nervous for a kids soccer game?" he raises his eyebrows.

"no," you immediately correct. "i'm nervous to meet basically your entire family. i've never really… done that. this whole friends thing is still new."

he snorts, "you act like you have no social skills. just stand there, be you, and they'll love you."

"what if i'm weird? or awkward? or what if i say something stupid?"

"you literally train with toji like twice a week. one on one. if you can handle him you'll be fine. everyone else is like… kittens compared to him."

you groan throwing your head back into the seat. "ughhhh," you crack your eyes open glancing sideways at him, "okay… let's go. before i lose my nerve."

sukuna shuts the engine off and pulls out the key, "you're actin' like you're my girlfriend or something about to meet everyone. chill out, brat."

"who're you calling a brat?" you counter, unbuckling your seatbelt, leaning over to flick him, harder than he had. "payback, brat." you slink back into your spot, grab your purse and hop out of the car, ignoring his annoyed commentary.

you glance at the field, scanning until you spot a familiar ridiculously tall raven haired man. before sukuna can close his door, you're striding across the field where several adults and children are gathered around blankets, chairs, and coolers.

it's almost like he senses you because toji glances up from where he'd been talking to jin, "ah, there she is," he grins giving you a two finger salute. "kid's been asking where you are all morning."

you laugh, looking over at yuiji who's sat in a little circle with two other kids you recognize from photos in toji's office—megumi and tsumiki.

"sorry, yuiji. your uncle 'kuna is super slow."

you then feel heat at your back, and sukuna drawls from right behind you. "don't go lying to the boy. you're the one who was whining in the car just now—,"

immediately you drive your elbow backwards into his gut cutting him off. you smile like you're a perfect angel who didn't just assault your friend. "anyways, i brought you guys something!" you reach into your purse, and you pull out three little pins. they're little golden stars. "for good luck!"

the kids scramble to their feet, and reach out to take them. you laugh as you help put them on their jerseys. from what you know, megumi and yuiji are the same age and they're on the same team. tsumiki is a year older than them, and she isn't playing. she's in a small judo class according to toji.

a deadpan feminine voice cuts through the idle chatter, "well, are you going to introduce us to your friend, sukuna?"

you look over and your brain almost doesn't register it—the woman who spoke has to be maybe two years older than you. she's beautiful. short, with chin length icy white hair and her eyes are so unique. you don't think you've ever seen the specific shade before. they're nearly lilac. wait, this is the woman you’d seen at the tattoo shop!

behind you sukuna sighs, hand coming down on the top of your head like you're a particularly good pet. it irks you but you don't give him the reaction you know he's seeking. he tells everyone your name, "i already told you all she was coming. the gremlin damn near begged her."

the white haired woman scoffs, and to her right is an older woman with soft features, laugh lines, and thick wavy hair the same shade as sukuna's. "it's nice to meet you dear. we've heard a lot about you," her eyes crinkle when she smiles at you, "i'm these guys’ mom, but you can just call me delia."

"i'm uraume," the blank faced woman states. "i'm unfortunately related to these assholes."

you snort at that, "nice to meet you guys." then your gaze flickers over to where toji and jin are. there's a third man. probably the brother sukuna allegedly lives with.

toji elbows them both, "you already know me, princess." he smirks, "these are the nicer siblings."

jin smiles waving, "good to see you again."

and to your shock, you lock gazes with familiar brown eyes. "yo," choso says, blinking owlishly, "didn't expect to see you here." he glances over your head at sukuna, "you didn't tell me this was her."

sukuna gives choso a weird look, "the hell you mean it's her?"

choso looks at you and gestures to your wrist, "remember the girl i told you about awhile back? did the dainty moon on her, she got matching with her twin and friend? how it was the girl whose art i got at the winter auction last year?"

you slowly realize what this means.

choso had said that he'd given his brother the painting of the watch tower and night sky.

choso's brother is sukuna.

oh my god.

you spin around to sukuna, "you have my art in your room?!"

sukuna furrows his eyebrows, "how the hell was i supposed to know that?"

"i—,"

then the whistle blows. the kids are called to the field. you falter for a moment, but just shake your head, "we'll talk about it later," you say crossing your arms, "let's watch the game."

you spend the afternoon hanging out with the itadori-fushiguro family. which means you learn a lot more about them. delia, otherwise known as 'mama itadori', was a single mother who raised her kids all on her own. she still works part time at an animal shelter near the house. which apparently jin lives at with her.

there are four itadori siblings total. well technically three because choso is a kamo—jin is the oldest. he's twenty six. him and toji met as tiny little kids. toji grew up just down the road but he didn't have a great home life so… he sort of just… became a fixture at the itadori household. when he was seventeen he lost his parents, and so mama itadori adopted him officially. as he got older he completely redid his childhood home so it would be fit to live in.

uraume is the second oldest. she's currently doing a rigorous nursing program, and doing a residency at a nearby hospital. she seems aloof, almost cold, but it's clear despite her icy exterior that she adores her family.

you learn sukuna is the third oldest, which somehow does and doesn't surprise you. he absolutely gives off middle child vibes. and choso, he's the youngest. he has a different dad than the others, some asshole who skipped out before he was hardly even six months old.

they're all very close, and delia helps jin and toji as much as possible with the kids. which is why jin lives at the house still. that and he says someone has to be there to take care of her too. he has a pretty hard laborious job. he's a pipe layer and he gets sent out all over for work. though he does make great money apparently.

you learn that both jin and toji are single dads. yuiji's mom never wanted to be a mom so… nobody really knows where she went. while unfortunately in toji's case, his fiancée skipped out after megumi was born. she'd even taken the majority of his money at the time—and dipped. no trace.

despite being such a tight knit group, they're so… welcoming. you've never really had a real family besides your best friends and suguru. so this is new. you've never experienced such sincere warmth before and it's… it's really nice.

during the last bit of the game, you're sitting on one of the picnic blankets, legs in front of you, you're leaning into sukuna's side watching the little five year olds trying to play soccer. you smile softly, a little content hum slipping from you.

he glances down, "what?"

your eyes drift up to his, "nothing," you reply. "just… this is pretty nice."

he barks out a laugh that shakes you a bit. "really? watching kids play like shit is nice?"

"shut up," you huff, "i just mean…" you gesture vaguely with the hand not pinned against him, "being around a family that actually likes each other."

"well i don't know about that."

"stop acting like you're too cool for us, 'kuna. you're the biggest sap of us all." uraume comments from somewhere behind you, and you laugh leaning further into his side.

sukuna bristles but doesn't deny it. instead he just looks down at you again, "well, they seem to like you just fine. so… you're welcome whenever now, i guess."

"wow, way to make a girl feel wanted."

he flicks you again.

"you're such an asshole—!"

the smug bastard just settles back further onto his hands, and the rest of the afternoon passes by just like that.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

august comes quick, and the heat just gets so much worse. you're sweating in places you shouldn't and your camisole is sticking to you like a second skin. currently you're lugging an absurdly heavy box into shoko's dorm.

how you got conned into helping her move in you have no fucking clue.

as soon as you cross the threshold into her lavish dorm space—it's a joint dorm, so basically an apartment split between three people—you drop the box to the floor with a thunk.

"if you broke my shit i'm going to shave your eyebrows in your sleep," shoko mutters drifting past you into her room, carrying a duffle bag that she tosses onto her bed.

you flip her off the moment she turns to face you, "then maybe you should've let the boys handle this instead of me."

shoko rolls her eyes as she walks back towards you, patting your shoulder gently. though her hand sticks to your skin for a moment making her wrinkle her nose. "you know suguru is much more valuable in the kitchen."

"he can be valuable in the kitchen after we finish lugging in your shit!" you exclaim, gesturing wildly between your brother who's casually chopping vegetables at the kitchen counter, no sign of sweat on his skin.

"nah, i want food as soon as we're done, babe."

you throw your head back and want to scream. it's times like these where you wish shit hadn't gotten so fucked up with satoru. because you'd make him be the damn pack mule.

"you're an asshole," you say staring holes at your twin's forehead. he just shrugs, stupid little smirk on his lips.

"you could always invite that boy toy of yours to come help," he says like he's commenting on the weather. "you know, the one who practically treats you like his wife?"

shoko looks between the two of you, "oh? that's new. i thought you were just friends." she uses air quotes at ‘friends.’

"shut up, sugu!" you hiss, then turn to shoko. "ignore him. he's an idiot. sukuna and i are just friends."

"mhm," she says not looking like she believes you in the slightest, "well maybe your lesser half is right—" suguru scoffs at that, "call him. tell him you're in dire need of his manly muscles or something."

you glare at her. then you decide you know what? fine.

that's how fifteen minutes later, you find yourself sitting at shoko's kitchen island, cold coffee in hand, watching the men, plural, move the rest of your best friend's shit inside.

shoko is perched beside you, chin resting on her palm as she watches them work. "wow, he really came with a whole crew, huh? and brought your favorite coffee."

"shoko." you shoot her a look, and she just smirks.

sukuna had in fact enlisted help—it's the weekend, so he brought toji and jin. choso got stuck back at the house with delia and the kids. uraume is there too, but she's directing the boys with ruthless efficiency, and kicking them in the shins when they begin to complain about her tyranny.

they finish eventually. it doesn't take them long, and when they do, suguru's prepared a meal for champions. which is just a fancy feast of appetizers for the lot of you, but still delicious.

once they've all had their fill, uraume drags toji and jin out the door, after patting your head goodbye and telling you to text her if sukuna is too bitchy today. sukuna stays, and you want to throw yourself off a cliff, because you know what's about to happen.

the four of you had moved to the dining table. thankfully the dorm came furnished. shoko and suguru sit across from you and sukuna, and you can almost see the mindlink between the two as they lean forward locking their gazes on your male friend.

"so, sukuna," shoko drawls, taking a slow sip of her iced tea, "how'd you meet our princess hm?"

suguru snorts, but looks equally as curious. you've been pretty secretive in regards to sukuna. this is the first time he's been around him for more than two minutes when he picks you up.

sukuna looks at you and a devilish smirk stretches over his face, "well, she fell for me."

suguru's eyebrows practically shoot up to his hairline, and shoko leans closer. "oh? tell me more."

you look at him and glare, "i swear to god—,"

sukuna ignores you.

"i had been minding my own business, when she was walking down the sidewalk, staring at her phone—and she practically body slammed me." he sighs, "i had a slushee, and she ruined it. practically wore it as a dress."

"that's not what happened asshole! you nearly ruined my favorite t-shirt. that shit cost me seventy five dollars yknow?"

sukuna doesn't seem phased in the least. "i fixed it though didn't i? took you right to the laundromat and got the stain out myself."

suguru narrows his eyes, "were you shirtless in a laundromat?"

"no!" you squeak, "he let me borrow his jersey—i wouldn't do that sugu, i'm not stupid."

sukuna grins, "and after that, she started to stalk me. she was everywhere i went."

"i was not. if anyone was stalking—it was you! and you constantly had to piss me off. horrible way to start a friendship by the way."

a laugh rumbles deep in his chest. his eyes soften a bit looking at you. "yeah well, pretty sure it worked out for me in the end."

shoko hums, "well that's cute," then she leans back against her chair. "tell us about yourself. suguru says you practically hoard all her time, so i'm curious. she's never exactly been the social type so must be something special about you."

you flush bright pink at her comment. stupid shoko. sukuna replies, but you tune it out, not listening to the back and forth between them. you shift in your seat, eyes trained on your plate, shoving food into your mouth for a distraction.

then you hear your name, and you snap your gaze up. "huh?"

shoko rolls her eyes, "i was asking if we're going to still do movie night," then she looks over at sukuna for the slightest moment, "or are you too busy for that now?"

"uhm duh, movie night is sacred. i've been waiting for you to move so we could start again."

"good, i was gonna have to murder your little friend otherwise."

eventually you head home, and the week blurs by. shoko tells you her roommates are pretty cool, and that she thinks you'd like them. which is how you end up spending the day on the beach with the three of them.

utahime is pretty. she's got this scar that runs across part of her cheek and the ridge of her nose. you love it. something about it just makes her even prettier. she's pretty 'stiff' if you could call it that. serious about her studies and rigid about breaking rules. though you're sure that'll change eventually. she's funny though. even when she doesn't mean to be. she has this sort of deadpan brutal honesty that just sends you into a fit of giggles.

then there's yuki. you swear she could be a damn supermodel. blonde with gorgeous honey brown eyes. she's loud, confident, and doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks. you think she's the sort of girl to be the life of the party, but also probably throw down if someone starts shit with one of her girls. definitely the ride or die girls girl type.

neither you or shoko have ever really had female friends outside of each other so it's… interesting. honestly it's really nice. you didn't realize how much you needed other girls in your life until now. you love shoko, she's your wifey, but you guys definitely needed to meet yuki and utahime.

it happens pretty fast, the development of a friendship—and funny to you, suguru accidentally gets adopted as the brother of yuki and utahime as well. unwittingly taking on the role of feeding you guys, making sure you're safe, driving you places.

over the course of august, you sort of form a group. the girls, suguru, you, and sukuna. seeing as you've been joined at the hip with sukuna, it's not surprising. your and suguru's apartment becomes sort of 'the spot' for everyone. there's always food, you have all the good streaming services, the comfiest couches, and you're close to the best takeout.

life seems to really just be changing. growing. blossoming. and your heart seems to be softening and opening again, maybe even bigger than before.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

"come onnn," yuki whines pouting at you from the living room floor, painting utahime's toenails. "you agreed to a girls day before classes begin!"

you laugh, "yeah, i agreed to saturday. you know i'm busy sundays."

shoko mutters something under her breath that sounds an awful lot like 'whipped.' you choose to ignore her.

utahime tilts her foot to give yuki a better angle, "yuki," she says placating, "girls day doesn't need to be the day before classes. it's fine."

yuki groans louder, "you guys suck."

"just let her go to her boyfriend's family dinner in peace, yuki." shoko says before taking a sip of her drink.

you glare, "for the millionth time, not my boyfriend."

all three girls shoot you disbelieving looks, "uh huh." they chime in unison.

utahime flaps a hand, "moving on from that, are you guys excited or nervous to start classes? i'm kinda nervous."

the blonde at her feet perks back up, "ugh i am so excited. i can't wait to meet people, go to parties, learn more about fashion. it'll be amazing!"

shoko shrugs, "eh. i'll be getting like no sleep, so i'm more… tired thinking about it."

"that's your fault for wanting to do med, sho." you snort, and she flips you off.

they all glance over at you, and you falter for a moment. you're excited, yeah, to start this new journey. but despite however many months it's been and how much you've worked on things you can't help but still feel that… absence. the distinct lack of satoru. you don't think about him nearly as often lately but… this is something you had planned for years together.

you had a list of all the things you wanted to do together when you started university. like the matching tattoos. your lips quirk down a bit. you swallow thickly, "i'm uh. i'm excited it's just…" you trail off, eyes sliding towards the ceiling, "feels kinda… weird. i guess."

yuki and utahime share a look. they knew vague bits from you, and actual details from shoko.

the brunette herself looks at you, face softening. she knows despite how well you're doing, that the space in your heart satoru had lived for nearly thirteen years is... still there. just… hollow. "it's okay to miss him, you know that right?"

you exhale shakily and look at her, "yeah… i know."

shoko squeezes your hand, "maybe one day."

"yeah, maybe one day." you nod, squeezing her back.

that sunday, after having dinner at the itadori household, like you'd been doing since you met them—you find yourself in sukuna's passenger seat, staring out at the dark as scenery flashes by. you'd been quiet all night, had hardly spoken. he could tell something was off.

"you good?" he asks, eyes straight ahead, knuckles tight around the wheel.

you hum, not really giving an answer.

sukuna sighs, frustrated, "fuck this." and then you're veering off the regular path to your apartment—and continuing down the highway.

"uh, where are we going? the exit was back there, 'kuna."

he glances at you for half a second, scowl etched on his face. "i'll take you home later. you obviously need to get shit off your chest. scream, cry, do something."

you stare at him, not quite sure what to say. so you just sit there quietly, until half an hour later you're pulling over on the side of the road. a small pull out against a rocky hillside.

"come on," he says, getting out. he rounds the car and yanks open your door. then he extends a hand, and you take it once you've unbuckled. "watch your step, got it? shit's a bit sketch."

"that's comforting," you mutter but you follow him, watching your feet, taking out your phone to turn the flashlight on. other hand still in his as he guides you up the rocky hill.

it doesn't take long to reach the top, and when you do your mouth goes dry. despite it being dark, the moon casts light across the scene before you—the viewpoint looks over the sprawling ocean, and you feel it in your bones. the urge to memorize the landscape and put it on canvas gnaws at you.

"i come here when i need to think, or… not think." sukuna says, slowly taking a seat, knees drawing up to his chest. you follow in suit, shoulders brushing. "you gonna tell me what the hell's been eatin' at you all day?"

you look at the moon over the ocean, the stars twinkling above, reflecting over the waves. you sigh, "it's stupid," you tell him. "i'm just…" you don't even know where to begin. the moon and the stars above almost feel like they're taunting you. as you recall all the nights you spent sprawled in the grass, staring up at them with satoru.

sukuna doesn't push. he just waits. letting you take the time that you need to figure out what's in your head.

"i've told you about satoru before," you start off, chancing a glance at sukuna. he nods, almost imperceptibly. you know he isn't exactly a fan. still you continue on, "starting my first year tomorrow without him just… it feels weird. almost wrong?"

you go quiet for a moment. as if trying to find the right words.

"for thirteen years my life was… satoru. we lived in our own little world, sharing it only with suguru and shoko," you feel yourself tensing up. it's been a long time since you really talked about him. "satoru was like the sun for me."

sukuna shifts a bit, but still lets you continue on.

"but, the sun isn't always good for you," you say softly. almost sadly. "he was my person, you know? for thirteen years. we did everything together and then—," your throat closes up, and it feels like you've just swallowed glass.

it takes a second but you force yourself to keep talking. "and then, manami happened and i lost him. yeah he was still there but not really. and losing someone who is literally a part of you—that is so fucking intertwined with you it feels like they're physically tunneled into your heart and brain—that sucks."

you feel tears clustering at your waterline but you blink them away. "it was so complicated with him," you shake your head. "but it also wasn't. i don't know? he was my best friend but i also was so fucking in love with him i felt stupid." your fingers dig into the meat of your thighs.

"satoru was home for me," you sigh. "safety. everything was okay if he was there and so when he wasn't? it felt like my world shattered and i just—i didn't know how to put it back together." you can see him in your mind, pretty blue eyes, stupidly gorgeous grin. "so when i had to make the choice—to end things. because manami told him he needed to pick—yeah i did it for him but i also did it for me. because i—," you inhale sharply, "i couldn't live with the scenario of him choosing her."

"fuck—," the tears are falling. you're scrubbing at them, and you feel pathetic. "this is so stupid. i thought i'd moved on but—fuck, i just… i can't believe i'm doing this without him. we had it all planned out," your voice cracks, "we planned our tattoos, we had this scheme where we planned to dominate at beer pong to scam people out of money, we had our study days decided, where we'd spend our different breaks—," you sniff hard. "and now none of that's happening and i don't know what to feel."

you glance back at the stars, "he used to tell me that we were persephone and hades. i thought that was romantic," you laugh, self deprecatingly, "but god. i was so stupid to ever think he'd see me the way i saw him."

your chest is heaving and your vision is blurry, and you can't quite breathe. then—an arm drapes over your shoulders, solid, real—and pulls you close. sukuna drops his chin on the crown of your head, "dude's a fucking idiot." he says, voice gravelly, "but it's okay to feel how you do." his arm tightens a bit, squeezing you lightly, "don't keep this shit to yourself again. you tell me when you're feelin' anything this big got it? don't need you actin' like a kicked puppy all damn day again."

it's not exactly the right way to comfort someone. but it is sukuna's way. and that's enough. you let yourself melt into his side, inhaling the scent of his cologne and the left over scent of dish soap from when the two of you got stuck with dish duty after dinner. it's not home per say, but it's… it's like breathing again. like you can let yourself open your lungs and climb a goddamn mountain. like you can keep going. and right now? that is what you need.

you stay that way for awhile. watching the ocean waves crash against the cliffs. "thanks, 'kuna." you mumble, voice a little slurred, exhaustion seeping into you.

"always here, brat." he sighs, and then he's slowly detaching himself from you and getting to his feet. he reaches a hand out to help you up, "let's get you home before your twin sends out a search party," he grimaces, "or worse, tells your psycho little girlfriends."

that makes you laugh, real, raw. and you take his hand, letting him haul you up. "you're right, let's get going. i need some sort of sleep before tomorrow."

the two of you scale the rocky hillside, and climb back into the car. the road blurs past you, and your body sinks into the seat and your eyes flutter shut, and sleep overtakes you before you even make it home.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

you'd been so nervous about starting the next part of your journey but you slip into new routines with ease. it isn't something you even realize until you're weeks into it. during the week you have morning and early afternoon classes—on tuesday evenings you have the sacred long held tradition of movie night with suguru and shoko. you still take turns cooking, you still take turns choosing the movie, and you all end up curled under fuzzy blankets on the large sectional.

toji doesn't let up on you at the gym—though he does let you change from tuesday and thursdays, to mondays and thursdays. that way it doesn't conflict with your little movie night. you're very grateful to him for that.

sunday evenings are now always reserved for dinner at the itadori household. the kids also demand you attend all their games and competitions—filling up other bits of your spare time. and when you're not doing any of that? you spend time with the girls doing each other's make up and watching trashy tv, you go out for midnight meals with sukuna, you have nights in with suguru eating pasta from the pot.

you've had a newfound inspiration lately, a break through if you will. color blooms on the canvas now, vibrant and full of life—sukuna often lounges on your bed watching as you smear paint around and dance in place to whatever he's got on the portable speaker. he's sort of indoctrinated you to his music taste—old rock, punk, even a bit of 90's rap. you've found that lately your playlists have a lot more metallica, ice cube, and falling in reverse than taylor swift and billie eilish.

there's other changes visible to the eye within your room too. your closet is filled with lacy camisoles, tight dresses, shredded jeans, and cute little skirts. there's hardly any clothing in there now from before the start of june. though in the depths of your drawers there are a few oversized shirts and sweatshirts you still can't let go of. they don't see the light of day though.

above your desk your pinboard is filled to the brim with polaroids, vintage stamps, vintage postcards, various ticket stubs, and many other little mementos. telling the story of your life in the last few months through bits of paper and vinyl.

things are so different but also still the same. it's a beautiful contradiction.

in the corner of your bed sits an absurdly cute godzilla plush that sukuna won you at the boardwalk weeks ago. somehow him and yuiji had worn you down and made you watch all of the current godzilla franchise. you refuse to admit it but you're sort of obsessed now and you cannot wait to take the little pink haired boy to the next movie.

the girl you were last year probably would think the girl you are now is a hallucination. that's okay though because you're starting to really enjoy who you've become. who you're still becoming.

you think, maybe months ago you'd change everything that happened but… now? you wouldn't trade it for anything.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

"keep your eyes closed." yuki tells you as she smears them with soft brown eyeshadow, applying a little bit of shimmer. your eye twitches and she huffs at you. "i'm about to start your eyeliner. don't move, babe. i'm serious!"

you practically stop breathing as she flicks the liquid liner across your lash line. thankfully she's somewhat of a pro at this, so she's rather quick. when she gives you the all clear you blink your eyes open and gasp for breath.

"oh my god did you seriously not breathe that whole time?" she asks laughing, "you're so cute."

you scowl at her and push yourself up from the soft carpeted floor of your bedroom and walk to your walk-in closet and begin sifting for an outfit. your eyes catch on a red camisole. it's got a cute pattern across the breast and it's slightly see through towards the belly. you snag it off the rack and then you pluck off a white miniskirt. you make quick work of changing, before stepping back into the main room.

"so?" you do a twirl for the girls, and yuki wolf whistles, utahime gasps, and shoko lets out a soft damn.

"you're going to ruin men's lives in that," shoko tells you, her eyes tracing you up and down. "ugh, i wish you liked women. we'd be so hot together."

you snort, stepping over to her, draping yourself across her lap, and plant a kiss on her cheek. "maybe in another life, sho."

she rolls her eyes but wraps her arms around you.

it doesn't take long for everyone else to finish up—you were going to your first real college party tonight and you were excited and nervous. the first and last real party you'd been to did not end well. so… hopefully this would be different.

considering you'd be there with your girls, sukuna, and suguru—you know it'll be okay.

when you enter your living room, suguru's waiting, keys swirling around his finger, "you girls ready?" he asks raising his eyebrows.

"yep," you grin, bouncing over, wrapping one arm around his waist, "are you ready?"

he looks down his nose at you, "to deal with you drunk and your friends? absolutely not."

utahime and yuki file in after, and utahime flips suguru off, yuki just laughs. shoko enters last, adjusting her shirt that her boobs are trying their hardest not to spill out of. “dammit, i thought this was bigger,” she mutters to herself.

you laugh and pull back from suguru. “‘kay, let’s go!”

the car ride is quick, though suguru parks a decent ways down the sidewalk from the frat house. the five of you make your way toward the party, the loud bass thrumming even blocks away. you can see lights waving and people milling about.

when you reach the lawn, you can feel it in your veins, and you get this nervous but excited little kick in your step. you’re supposed to find sukuna somehow, but in the throng of people that’s nearly impossible, so instead you follow as yuki forms a little hand train and drags you guys through the party toward the kitchen.

when you enter, it’s lined with all sorts of drinks, some snacks that’ve been picked through, and you find plastic little shot glasses—and yuki immediately begins pouring shots of tequila.

she passes them out. suguru waves her off, saying he’s your guys’ ride home, so it’s just the four of you girls who throw them back. it burns all the way down your throat and into your stomach, settling like a warm puddle and flowing into the rest of your body.

before you can even settle, yuki is grinning and filling your glasses up once more. “one more, then we can dance!” she shouts over the music.

once you all knock it back, she cheers, throws her hands in the air, then begins dragging you all to the large crowd of people dancing in the massive open space—suguru gives a little salute watching as you disappear. you suppose he’ll probably go chain-smoke cigarettes beside the stoners or something.

you make it to the middle of the crowd, bodies pressed together, sweaty and sticky and reeking of liquor and weed. yuki slots herself behind utahime, wicked grin dragging her hands up her hips—and you laugh, throwing your arms around shoko’s neck, dragging her close as you sway to the music.

everything begins to feel warm, fuzzy, and blurry. the four of you continue dancing and dancing and dancing—until you feel like you need to pee now or you’ll seriously piss your damn underwear in the middle of the room.

you shout in shoko’s ear that you’ll be back, and she nods, kissing your cheek before slotting herself in front of utahime. then you’re shoving through the crowd, trying to make sense of this frat house you’ve never been in, searching for the bathroom down the series of hallways. it takes several minutes, but you do find it.

by the time you finish up and head back to the dance floor, you’ve lost sight of the girls. you sigh and head back to the kitchen, hoping maybe to catch sight of suguru or sukuna. it’s a dead end though, so you grab a solo cup and pour yourself a drink of the jungle juice in the massive dispenser. you take a sip and it seriously tastes like fruity lemonade, but it still burns.

you head back out to the dance floor—still unable to find anyone—and dammit, you didn’t bring your purse, which has your phone. you left it back in suguru’s car.

suddenly you feel heat against your back and the trail of a hand down your arm. you freeze for a moment, and then your blood turns to ice when you hear a familiar voice.

“fancy seeing you here,” the sleazy voice says just against the shell of your ear. “we never did get to finish up last time.”

you slowly turn around, fingers clutching your cup, and lock eyes with naoya zenin. it’s been almost a year since he tried to take advantage of you, but it still feels like it was yesterday. but you’re not the same girl you were a year ago.

“what the fuck do you want, naoya?” you demand, shifting your stance subtly into a defensive one, exactly as toji had taught you.

he laughs, smirk tugging at his thin lips. “you’re a little spicier than i remember.” his eyes sparkle with amusement. “we can fix that though.”

you scoff. “the fuck we can,” you bite out.

naoya’s eyes narrow slightly. “you’re cute. you really are,” he drawls, “but with an attitude like that, i don’t understand how that barbarian of yours was so obsessed with you.”

“excuse me?”

he rolls his eyes. “oh please, don’t act like you’re not aware of it. he nearly beat me half to death over you—not to mention his girlfriend sought me out because all he gave a fuck about was you.”

you stiffen. “you’re making shit up. manami cheated on satoru, that’s not his fault.”

“isn’t it? she whined about it all the fucking time. how he would buy her your favorite candies, your favorite flowers. that he hardly paid attention to her after you left him.” naoya shakes his head, sneering. “the clown didn’t even give a fuck that he found her fucking me—apparently all he cared about was that he should’ve left her for you months before.”

it feels like lead is weighing you down. there’s just no way that’s true, and you really don’t even want to entertain that possibility—not when you’ve come so goddamn far.

“stop talking out of your ass, naoya,” you tell him, voice clipped. “now, if you’d excuse me, i need to find my friends.” you step around him—but his hand shoots out, clasping around your wrist, and he tugs, hard. you stumble backward right into his chest.

“don’t be so rude,” his voice is sharp. “like i said, we never got to finish, did we? i have to admit… i am quite curious to find out why your psycho boyfriend is so obsessed.”

his lips hover over the sensitive skin of your neck, and you lock up. halloween last year flashes in your mind. you’re not that fucking girl.

you toss your drink back, chugging it in one go. naoya seems to think this is a sign of him winning you over, but you stomp on his foot, your heel digging in hard. he curses, and his hand comes up to grip your shoulder tight enough to bruise.

“you little bitch—”

it’s practically muscle memory. you drive your elbow backward into his gut, spin on your heel, and sock him across the jaw.

his head snaps to the side, and he spits blood across the floor. the people around you begin to take notice, pausing their movements, whispering, circling around to watch the show.

“hah! you think you can get away with hitting me like that?” his eyes flash dangerously, and he steps forward like he’s going to wrap his fingers around your delicate throat.

you sidestep, despite being tipsy and in stilettos—and then you grab the arm dangling at his side, step behind him, and wrench it up behind him. as you have him pinned, you bring your knee up and slam it directly into his balls from behind, and he drops to his knees.

people are whooping and hollering around you.

naoya is hissing on his knees.

then a shadow looms behind you, and somehow you know exactly who it is. “just what the fuck is happening here?” sukuna’s voice cuts through the din of the room.

naoya forces himself to his feet and turns to face the both of you. “this psycho bitch started hitting me,” he says, grinding his jaw.

sukuna crosses his arms, tilting his head, looking vaguely unamused. “really?” he asks. “she just… decided to beat your ass for fun?”

you roll your eyes. “no, this is the douchebag who tried to take advantage of me last year and then decided to try his luck again.”

something dangerous flashes across sukuna’s face. “oh?” he murmurs, almost to himself. then his face hardens. “someone get him the fuck out of here before i make an example out of him myself.”

naoya tries to argue, but sukuna leans forward, teeth bared. “come near her again and you’ll be picking your teeth up off the fucking curb,” he draws himself back up. “someone. get him out. now.”

two massive men—who you assume are football players—immediately scramble to drag naoya out the door. once he’s out of sight and the crowd disperses, you sag with relief.

sukuna spins you gently to face him, hands gripping your shoulders and holding you at arm’s length like he’s checking you for damage. he sees the faint fingerprints marking your upper arms and practically growls.

“fucking bastard.” then he shakes his head, like he’s shoving his anger away for you. “you good?”

you nod. “yeah, uh,” you shrug, “at least i got to beat his ass this time. i seriously don’t know why the hell he still had the balls to try shit after last time.”

“last time?”

the thought of telling sukuna about last halloween has you shifting awkwardly. “yeah, uh, satoru sorta beat him nearly unconscious. only reason he didn’t catch a charge is ’cause his parents are, like, very wealthy.”

sukuna stares, not quite sure how to respond.

you laugh awkwardly. “i lost the girls. you seen them?”

he shakes his head. “nah, but saw suguru—he’s out back smokin’ with cho.”

“oh, choso came?”

sukuna nods. “yeah, i forced him to. socializing and whatever.” he shifts. “wanna play beer pong?”

the flood of memories of countless nights spent practicing in your parents’ garage rushes through you. you push them back.

you smile. “yeah, that sounds fun. can we get something else to drink though?”

he snorts. “yeah, c’mon.”

despite the hiccup with naoya, the rest of the party is great. you definitely get progressively more drunk, but you absolutely wreck everyone at beer pong. you and sukuna become sort of unstoppable as a duo, and you easily sweep the competition, winning the grand prize.

eventually you do find the girls again toward the end of the night. they’re tipsy and tripping over themselves, leading to suguru deciding it’s time to go home. so you bid sukuna goodnight, standing on the tiptoes of your heels, pressing a light kiss to his cheek, and when choso appears beside him, you grin, giving him a quick hug.

then you pile into suguru’s car and head home.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

lunch becomes sort of a ritual. no matter what day it is, you all meet on the quad after grabbing your respective meals. despite it being fall, it’s still decent out, so you lounge in the grass, bitching about class, homework, and teachers.

if your schedules allow it, sukuna typically picks you up from class, and you grab food together before meeting the others. it’s nice, normal.

some days, suguru packs lunch for everyone when he’s feeling nice. those are your favorite days.

but as the semester continues on, so does life outside of coursework. you still train, you still paint, you go to parties, you go to family dinner every sunday. after sukuna opened his mouth about your twin one day, mama itadori demanded you begin to bring him—something about never leaving anyone out. which is how suguru gets adopted into the family as well.

choso and him hit it off great. they’d hung out a few times previously when sukuna dragged him places, but after the first family dinner? best of friends.

it’s nice, seeing your twin have someone else besides you and shoko… or satoru. the feeling it gives you is full and warm. he truly deserves the best.

he isn’t really one for parties like the rest of you, preferring to just be dd. however, there’s a night where he has a project due at midnight, so he isn’t able to go—which leads to sukuna being appointed as the drunk girl wrangler instead.

you get absolutely fucking trashed—it’s maybe two weeks into october—and the girls somehow convince you that eight shots of tequila and mixed drinks are a brilliant idea. you’re wearing a slinky satin dress, strap falling off your shoulder, hair mussed, and makeup a little smudged at your eyes.

you’re giggling in the front seat of sukuna’s car. he’d tasked choso with getting the other three home, so that left just the two of you—you were much more of a handful tonight than usual, so yeah, he did not want to add the others to the mix.

“‘kunaaaaa,” you whine, looking over at him. “i want fries, pleaseeee.”

he glances at you, sighing. “really? it’s like, two o’clock in the morning.”

you pout. “please, they sound so good, it’s all i want!” tears begin to form along your thick lashes, and he internally curses.

“fuck, fine. we’ll go through fuckin’ mcdonald’s, just don’t start that crying shit,” he grumbles, immediately switching his route toward the closest mcdonald’s to get your stupid french fries.

the drive-thru is dead, so you get your fries pretty quick, and the moment he hands them over, you light up like a christmas tree. “ah! thank you, ‘kuna!” you gush before shoving a handful into your mouth, melting into the seat.

he rolls his eyes. “yeah, yeah.”

you munch happily on the fries, swaying in your seat, and your eyes slowly begin to droop—until your body edges toward the passenger door, and you’re slumped against it, light snores drifting from you.

“seriously?” he sighs, glancing at you. it’s not even five minutes later when he pulls into your apartment complex. he parks, shuts off the engine, rounds the car, and opens your door.

you stir slightly, eyes slowly blinking. “s’re we home, ‘kuna?”

he nods. “yeah, let’s getcha inside.” he leans down and unbuckles you before collecting your purse and slinging it over his shoulder. “c’mon,” he mutters, reaching out to lift you into his arms.

you loop your arms around his neck and nuzzle into him the moment he has you in the air, tucked against his chest. “you’re always so sweet,” you whisper against his throat, breathing little breathy sighs.

“uh huh.” he adjusts you, one arm beneath your legs, the other around your back.

he enters the code to your building, knowing it by heart, then strides across the ghost-town lobby and presses the elevator button. once it opens, he steps inside, already clicking on your floor number.

you watch blearily as the numbers tick up. up, up.

the elevator dings, the door slides open, and he heads straight for your apartment. “you got your keys?”

“mmm,” you furrow your eyebrows. “dunno.”

he groans, then knocks at the door, hoping to god your twin’s awake.

it’s barely a few moments later that suguru opens the door, looking half-awake. he takes one look at you and sighs, simply opening the door wider for sukuna to enter.

“you gonna help me get ready for sleep, ‘kuna?” you ask, voice soft, your eyes sliding closed again.

“the hell would i do that for?”

you nuzzle him. “cause you love me, duh.” he stiffens. “you’re like, my best friend. ‘sides shoko. that’s just like… best friend duty.”

he relaxes a bit. “yeah, whatever.”

suguru snorts and shakes his head, heading back to his bedroom—too tired to watch whatever the hell is currently going on.

just as you asked, though, sukuna sets you on your bed and gets out some soft pajamas for you. once you’ve changed, he helps you to the bathroom, gently setting you on the counter so he can wipe off your makeup.

“gotta do my skincare, ‘kuna!”

he groans, but nonetheless helps you through your night routine. he’s seen you do it a million times, so he knows mostly what to do. next he sets your toothbrush, applies toothpaste, and pushes it into your hands.

once you spit it out, he takes your hair and helps you braid it, then guides you back to your bedroom. “okay, in bed,” he says, tucking the covers over you.

“night, ‘kuna,” you murmur, eyes fluttering shut. he stands there for a moment until your breathing evens out. then he heads to your kitchen to grab you a glass of water, crackers, and some meds. he sets them on your nightstand and walks to your desk, grabbing one of your silly little glitter pens to write a note on a sticky pad for you.

take the medicine, dumbass. eat the crackers. and make sure to eat some real food and chug water. - sukuna

then he’s gone, letting you sleep peacefully, all soft and prepared for bed.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

the rest of october passes in a blur. halloween is fun—you attend yet another frat party. the girls try to convince you to do a group costume, but you’d already made sukuna promise to dress up with you. the two of you are going as team rocket, since pokémon had sort of become a running thing between you. whenever one of you didn’t feel great, you’d watch it together.

with you out of the running, the girls con suguru into joining their group costume. they dress as the teenage mutant ninja turtles—it’s honestly amazing.

but once october has come and gone, that means midterms are coming up fast.

so, you decide that you need to cram.

which leads to you and sukuna sprawled out on your bed way too fucking late, reading flash cards that you’re doing your best to memorize. there are scattered snacks and energy drinks around the bed. you’re a little delirious at this point and way too many red bulls deep.

you reach out to grab another when sukuna swats your hand. “no, you’ve had too damn many. you’ll give yourself a heart attack.”

“i haven’t even reached my max!”

he glares. “you have now. touch it again and i’ll chuck it out the goddamn window.”

you groan, flopping back onto your mountain of pillows. “you’re so meannnn,” you whine.

“no, i care about your health, dumbass.”

you shift so you can glance at him, a feline smile curling your glossy lips. “awwh, you care about me?”

sukuna glares. “would i be here at three o’clock in the morning helping you study whatever stupid art history shit this is if i didn’t care?”

that makes you giggle. “true. you love me sooo bad, ‘kuna.”

he rolls his eyes. “only when you’re not being stupid.”

“ugh! see, so mean to meeee!” you shove at him with your socked foot, and he easily catches it, pressing a firm thumb into the arch of your foot.

you groan. “oh, do that again.” you hadn’t even realized how tense your feet were.

“your feet probably hurt because you’ve been painting nonstop lately. you need a stool or something,” he mumbles, gently pressing his thumbs into your feet. he glances at your easel, where you stand the entire time you paint—for hours sometimes.

“don’t care, just keep doin’ that,” you hum, letting your head fall back again, sighing in contentment. “you sure you wanna be a football player? you’re like reaaally good at this.”

sukuna gives you a look, despite your eyes being closed. “yes, let me drop my future nfl career to become a masseuse. great idea.”

you laugh. “okay fine, maybe just my masseuse then.”

“whatever,” he grumbles, but he doesn’t stop his motions, and you sink further into your bed—flash cards and red bulls laying forgotten beside you.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

you and suguru decided in advance you wouldn’t be going home for thanksgiving. why would you when you’d probably be alone anyway? this is how friendsgiving at your apartment became a thing. the moment yuki caught wind of you guys staying, she demanded everyone stay.

utahime shrugged, not really wanting to drive back home. shoko would rather be with you guys anyway. so, the five of you planned out your thanksgiving meal.

as the literal chef, suguru of course was in charge of the majority of things—like the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and all that. you girls were each left in charge of varying things.

you were in charge of dessert. easy peasy—you’ve always loved to bake. the only challenge is sharing the kitchen with suguru. it’s like dealing with gordon ramsay.

yuki declared herself in charge of decorations. whatever that meant.

utahime was in charge of grabbing the things that didn’t need to be cooked—like dinner rolls, chips, and whatever little snacks were needed.

and shoko, she was tasked with obtaining champagne or wine.

the day of, everything seems to come together mostly fine. only a little hiccup of you and suguru nearly fist-fighting over the oven—but other than that, everything goes surprisingly well.

you’re all dished up, sitting on the sectional, hallmark movie queued, champagne poured—when there’s a knock at the door.

suguru furrows his eyebrows, setting his plate on the coffee table and heading to see who’s there. when he swings it open, sukuna is standing there, bottle of whiskey in hand. “cool if i crash your little party?”

yuki perks up, craning her head, eyes locking onto the whiskey. “when you come bearing gifts like that? hell yeah!”

suguru steps aside to let him in, telling him to set the bottle down and go dish up. by the time sukuna takes a seat beside you, plate piled high, you glance at him. “thought you were busy with the family today?”

he shrugs. “we did everything late morning so the gremlins can go to bed on time.” he spreads his legs out, knee nudging yours. “figured i’d eat a second gourmet meal.”

you roll your eyes. “only here for the food, huh?”

sukuna eyes you, a smirk tugging at his lips. “something like that.”

you shift in your seat, then look over at suguru, who has the remote. “press play, i wanna watch the movie already.”

definitely not going to acknowledge that.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

you’re bundled up in a thick winter coat and snow pants, with little earmuffs to match. “why did i agree to this?” you ask out loud, blowing warm air onto your gloved hands.

it’s freezing fucking cold. somehow you’d let sukuna convince you to go snowboarding—which you’re horrible at. you’re positive you’ll be bruised for weeks after this.

“because it’s fun,” he smirks. “c’mon, let’s go again, sweetheart.”

you groan, but you strap yourself back in and indulge him.

it’s a good distraction, really. which you needed. it’s december 7th—satoru’s birthday. when sukuna casually brought up the idea of snowboarding on saturday, you couldn’t say yes fast enough. anything to keep you busy and out of your head.

though you may be regretting it just a tiny bit.

you have to focus hard as you hurtle down the snowbank, and then halfway down you hit a rock and you’re flipping and crashing once again. you curse ten ways to sunday, and sukuna’s laughing his ass off as he makes his way back up the hill to you.

“geez, you really do suck at this,” he chuckles, clearly enjoying himself.

“not everyone’s a star athlete like you, asshole,” you snap back, but you take his hand when he offers it.

the two of you pick up your boards and begin hiking back up through the snow again. “okay, i’ll give you a break. let’s go warm ya up in the café.”

thank god.

once you’re inside, you plop down right at the table beside the open fire. you peel your jacket off and let the warmth from the flames seep into your bones, sighing with relief. sukuna flags down a waitress and orders hot chocolate for the both of you.

you mumble out a thanks.

your eyes drift toward the large floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the ski hills—people rushing down the banks, falling, laughing. it’s hard not to stare at the snow, because when you look at it, all you can think of is him.

sukuna glances at you. “something on your mind?”

you hesitate before shaking your head. “nah. just really cold.”

he narrows his eyes, definitely not believing you, but he lets it go when your drinks arrive.

so you sip your hot chocolate and relax in your chair, willing all thoughts of satoru from your mind.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

december is filled with so much warmth despite being such a cold month. yeah, sure, you have finals—which sucks—but hey, you ace the shit out of them. what really makes december amazing though is the found family you’ve made and the new friends you’ve come to cherish.

you decorate gingerbread houses with the girls, you go to the winter market with sukuna, you and suguru spend christmas at the itadori house, you drink obscene amounts of hot chocolate, and you just truly appreciate those around you.

then before you know it—new year’s eve creeps up on you.

there’s a huge party that night, just like there always is. so you get dressed in a glittery little dress and silver heels, obnoxious number glasses on your face. the girls are meeting you there—you’d told them to go ahead without you—and stupidly, you decide to pregame while you get ready, drinking the leftover whiskey from thanksgiving.

you’re dolled up, hair curled just right, makeup perfected, and your outfit clinging in all the right spots. and you’re already a bit drunk. maybe you shouldn’t be drinking whiskey straight from the bottle.

before you head to the living room to tell suguru you’re ready, you find yourself flopped onto your plush bed, on your belly, scrolling through your phone.

it’s the new year—or about to be.

you aren’t sure if this is a good idea or not, but… you decide hey, it’s been long enough, and you don’t want to start a new year with anything negative clinging to you. so you unblock satoru’s number and socials. for just a moment, you let yourself glimpse at his instagram—there are only a few new posts you hadn’t seen.

which is shocking. he was addicted to social media last you knew. the photos are mostly of himself, a blonde guy you don’t recognize, his campus, and of course, desserts. your eyes linger a little too long on his most recent selfie. it makes your heart squeeze, because god, how did he become even more handsome?

you feel your pulse spike, and you quickly tap out of the screen and shut your phone off. nope. not going to linger there any longer.

it takes a moment or two to collect yourself, but you grab your purse, shove your phone inside, and stroll into the living room—a bit wobbly on your feet. “let’s gooo, sugu!”

he looks at you. “you’re already drunk?”

your lips thin, and you struggle for a moment to keep yourself together. “just figured i’d pregame since the girls probably did too,” your voice slurs a bit. “anyway, let’s go!”

suguru’s eyes don’t leave you. “are you alright?”

“i’m fine, sugu.” you brush past him, opening the door. “let’s hurry up before yuki starts blowing up our phones.”

from there, the night’s a bit… choppy.

you drink more.

you dance.

you play beer pong.

then suddenly you’re on the dance floor, arms hooked around sukuna’s neck, your eyes half-lidded, staring up at him so soft. “y’know, you’re kinda pretty in like… a rugged way, ‘kuna.”

he arches an eyebrow. “pretty? don’t think i’ve gotten that one before.”

you laugh, and you’re so close you can feel his breath fan across your face. his pupils are blown wide as he stares down at you, lips slightly parted. his throat works—you see the bob of his adam’s apple.

then you hear commotion—and the sound of the countdown beginning.

10…

your eyes flicker to his lips for just a moment.

9…

his hands tighten slightly at your waist.

8…

you open your mouth to speak.

7…

“‘kuna—”

6…

you feel him still ever so slightly.

5…

“i—”

4…

his eyes are pouring into yours.

3…

“i’m gonna find sho.”

2…

you slip from his arms, turning toward the left where you spot a familiar head of brunette hair.

1…

you slip in front of your best friend, grinning, and pull her in for a quick kiss. when you pull away, you’re both giggling into each other’s arms. and unbeknownst to you, sukuna’s heart is still hammering as he watches—disappointed, but not entirely surprised. he knows you’re not ready. not yet.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

the new semester brings a new major art project—you’re supposed to work on something to submit to a showcase by the end of the semester. it’s a national showcase, and if you win? your art will be featured in a major gallery, and you’ll win a grant for school. you’ve already decided that if you’re lucky enough to win, you’ll use it for supplies.

you’ve found a new favorite color when painting—red. from shades of pastel pink to deep crimson. it just feels so alive, like there’s emotion bleeding off the canvas.

this means you hole yourself up in the studio more than usual, to the point your teacher gives you a key so that you’re able to come and go at your leisure. it slowly becomes a sort of sanctuary for you.

you’re working on a new piece—it’s been maybe a month since the semester began, early february. it’s rough for now, but it’s a beautiful view—the one you’d seen all those months ago when sukuna drove you to see the ocean in the middle of the night. rather than blacks and blues of the night though, you paint the scene in a series of pink, white, and little bits of red.

there’s a knock at the art studio window, and you glance over. sukuna’s standing there, hands tucked in his jacket pockets. you smile softly and get off the stool you were using, because he’d complained about you standing for too long without realizing.

you open the door and he slips inside, trailing behind as you return to your canvas. he eyes it, but he doesn’t say anything.

“you gonna just stay in here all night?” he asks, leaning against the wall beside you.

“yeah, why wouldn’t i?” you ask, furrowing your brows, confused.

he gives you a look like you’re kinda dumb. “it’s valentine’s day, dumbass.”

you blink. “oh, i didn’t even realize.”

sukuna snorts. “course you didn’t.” he shakes his head. “alright, put the paint down, we’re gonna go eat.”

“but—”

“nope. put that shit down or i’ll dump out all your paint.”

“sukuna!”

he steps forward, picking up the pink you’d just been using. “i’m being serious, sweetheart.”

you snatch it from his hand, then drop your brush to the easel tray. “fine. why do we need to go out anyway? it’s just valentine’s day.”

sukuna rolls his eyes and drags you out the door. “what kinda man would i be if i let you paint all night instead of taking you out to eat?”

“i dunno, a normal one? it’s not like i’m your girlfriend—”

“uh huh. shut up, we’re going to get that sushi place you like.”

you squawk. “i am literally covered in paint!”

he glances over his shoulder at you. “and? i don’t care. let’s go eat.”

you sigh. “whatever, but if we get dirty looks, it’s on you,” you grumble, letting him drag you to his car. “you better be paying.”

sukuna shakes his head. “when don’t i, sweetheart?”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

spring break is approaching fast, and you wish you could go with the girls to san diego, but you are so close to finishing your work for the project—and you cannot lose momentum.

suguru, the traitorous bastard, somehow got roped into heading to cancún with choso, toji, and jin. sukuna was supposed to go as well, for their boys’ trip, but then his coach told him there would be mandatory practice during break. so that plan went out the window.

with both toji and jin going on vacation, you told delia you’d help her however she needed with the kids. though uraume was supposed to be visiting to help out too, so you weren’t sure entirely how much you’d be called upon.

that is until you get a call from uraume a few days into spring break.

“hey.” her cold, clipped voice greets you—you’ve learned it’s not personal, it’s just literally how she talks.

“what’s up, mei?” you ask, propping your phone to your ear as you detail a small section of your canvas.

“i was thinking about taking mom for a surprise spa day tomorrow. if you’re not busy, could you watch the demons?”

you find yourself laughing. “they’re not demons, mei.”

“yes they are.”

“they’re gremlins at most,” you retort. “but yeah, i’ll be home—just drop them off. delia deserves a day to relax.”

“cool. i’ll drop them at eight tomorrow.” then, almost like an afterthought, “thanks. you’re my favorite sibling.”

you just shake your head even though she can’t see it. “i don’t think that’s a very high bar, but i’ll take it.”

“mhm,” uraume hums. “okay, see you in the morning.”

“bye, mei.”

“bye.”

the line clicks, and you drop your brush back onto the tray so you can grab your phone and set it down. you’re already internally planning what snacks and such to grab from the store on your way home for the kids tomorrow.

they behave for you relatively well—better than they do for sukuna, at least. you’ve watched them with him many times now, and several times by yourself. usually all you have to do is keep them fed, put on something decent to watch, leave them stuff to color with, and they’re content.

you decide to call it a day, stretching your arms over your head before you remove your apron. better to go get everything you need now and prep before they arrive in the morning.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·

before the kids even arrive, you’ve already gotten ready for the day ahead—nothing too crazy though, just a simple camisole (a pretty green one sukuna had gotten for your birthday last month) and some comfortable jeans. your hair is loose around your shoulders, and your makeup is simple.

you don’t exactly plan on doing anything much today except maybe taking the kids to the park a few blocks away. sukuna will be over later today after practice—you’d agreed to take the kids to their extracurriculars today too.

just as she said, uraume arrives right at eight o’clock, three sleepy children in tow. she gently pushes them inside—they’ve all got their little backpacks on, filled with whatever they’d need today. once they’re filing into the living room behind you, she nods approvingly. “thank you for taking them,” she says, gaze meeting yours. “i will see you guys later tonight.” then she’s gone.

the sound of the kids chattering fills your ears as you shut the door and turn to them. they’re already tossing their bags to the floor, shoes kicked off, and clambering onto the couch.

“you guys eat breakfast yet?” you ask, placing your hands on your hips.

“we had snacks!” yuji says, grinning.

megumi huffs. “no, auntie mei only let us have breakfast bars. she didn’t want to be late.”

yeah, sounds about right. “okay, well i’ll make something for you guys to eat then, okay?”

you drop your arms and head over to the kitchen, starting to pull out simple staples for breakfast—eggs, bacon, mix for pancakes. then you hear the soft pitter-patter of socked feet, and glance down to see tsumiki at your side, small hands on the counter. she’s on her tiptoes, trying to look over it. “can i help? grandma always lets me help.”

she’s staring at you with those wide brown eyes and her dark raven locks swishing in the high ponytail uraume had done for her. it looks a little painful if you’re being honest, but she doesn’t seem to be complaining, so…

“yeah, why don’t you mix the batter for me? i’ll grab the stool.” you brush past her and head to the hallway closet to grab the step stool for her.

when you come back and set it down for her, she gives you a dazzling little smile and hops up, reaching for the mix you’d already grabbed out. you bustle around setting the bowl out for her, along with the measuring cup with water, and a whisk. tsumiki doesn’t need much direction as she pours the mix into the bowl and adds the water.

you focus on starting the eggs and bacon at the stove. it doesn’t take more than a few minutes for you to have everything set up and sizzling.

that’s when your phone buzzes next to the stove. you pick it up, making sure it’s not anything important.

from: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳

hey. just letting you know you’re going to have a visitor today.

you furrow your brow, confused. are your parents stopping by or something? there isn’t anyone else you can think of that wouldn’t just text or call you.

to: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳

are mom and dad stopping by or something?? is everything okay??

from: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳

god no. i wouldn’t do that to you. everything is fine. love you 😘

to: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳

wdym then who is it???

read.

to: twin 🖤🧑‍🍳

suguru.

you better explain yourself right now

hello???????

he doesn’t reply, and you glare at your phone. then you shake your head, setting it down, and focus back on breakfast. maybe thirty or so minutes later, with tsumiki’s help, you have the kids situated around the table eating. so you let yourself relax a bit, glancing at the clock on the wall. it’s still pretty early, and you’re still wondering what the hell suguru meant by “visitor.”

the morning wears on. after breakfast, you set them up to color in the living room. cartoons play on the tv in the background—some awful godzilla cartoon yuji’s been obsessed with. you settle yourself on the couch with a book, letting yourself fall into the fictional world for a bit to ease your anxiety.

“megumi, i was using that!” yuji whines, making you look up to see megumi using a green crayon.

tsumiki is off to the side in her own little world, using colored pencils for her picture. you never really have to worry about her—it’s usually the two boys.

you sigh. “megumi, did you take it from yuji?”

megumi looks up at you blankly. “no, he left it on the ground. he’s coloring with the orange one.”

“is that true, yuji?”

the pink-haired boy pouts. “i was gonna use it,” he tells you.

you chuckle, shaking your head. “well, you weren’t using it right then, so megumi’s going to use it. when he’s done, you can have it back, okay?”

“okaaay…” yuji sighs dejectedly, going back to his orange crayon.

you’re about to continue reading when you hear a knock at the door. the kids don’t pay it much mind, still focused on their pictures. you feel anxiety clawing up in your stomach, filling your limbs and weighing them down. “i’ll be right back, guys. stay here.”

there’s another knock. “coming!” you call out, rising to your feet and heading to the front door. the door is situated in the dining room and kitchen area, just out of view of the living room.

you’re cursing whoever designed this door without a peephole as you unlock it. fingers slick with sweat, you wrap them around the knob and pull it open. and the moment you do, your heart slams in your chest.

standing there, hands in his pockets, looking as goddamn perfect as always—with his perfectly tousled snowy hair and big blue eyes—is satoru. satoru, who was your best friend, who you’d been in love with forever, who you haven’t seen in nearly a fucking year.

“satoru?”

he grins nervously. “hey.” he awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “long time no see, yeah?”

you’re going to fucking kill your brother.

trin speaks: hey guys!! sorry this took forever to get out i’ve been in a pretty rough flare health wise !! i will say i doooo have the interlude already prepared!! just need to do some finishing touches.

i hope to start working on part three soon <3 MWAH! thanks for supporting! likes, comments, reblogs are all appreciated! i always love hearing your thoughts!

taglist is still open if you want to be added, it’ll be in a few separate posts or i just made a new blog @honeysupdates where i’ll start reblogging updates !!

if you have requested to be tagged and you aren’t please let me know on this post thanks!!!

© softtashoney, 2025. do not repost, edit, copy, or plagiarize my works.

[ldydeath]

I Love You, I'm Sorry | Kwon Ji-yong (G-Dragon)

Summary: You and Jiyong used to date and after a year of no contact an accidental text leads to a series of unfortunate events.  Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: Angst, but that’s about it. Author’s Note: This is something I found in my drafts the other day that I had started in June right after HITC. Due to certain life events that transpired I never finished it and forgot about it, but after reading it I knew I had to finish it and share it with the world. I’m kind of playing this as a part one to Cruel World, but I also like them both as stand alone’s as well so I’m not sure if I’ll make this an official part one. If you want to check out Cruel World you can find it here.

When you and Jiyong first got together you couldn’t imagine a life without him. And now you were standing outside a house you’d called home for years, car packed to the brim with all your belongings about to start over. Again.

It had been one stupid fight that led to this rash decision to end it. You weren’t the one to stay and work things out when it got hard. Always closing doors after one wrong move, you didn’t have the patience to stay and try to work things out. You needed out. No matter how much you loved him, it was time. 

“Bye Ji.” You whispered as you slid into the car. You didn’t bother to look back as you drove off. 

It took almost a year before you’d spoken again. A wrong text that had meant to go to someone else had been delivered to Jiyong, who’d texted back immediately. 

Finally watched Old. It was so stupid, I should’ve listened to you. 

I never saw it? 

Fuck. Sorry, I meant to text someone else. 

Ah. Good to know it doesn’t need to be added to the list. Hi.  

….hi. Congrats on the album. It’s good. 

You listened? 

Yeah. It’s kind of everywhere? Hard not to. 

So you’re not stalking me? 

No.

You’d laughed at how easy the exchange had gone. Considering you’d swore you’d never speak again. Even if you’d never deleted his number. It took you a few days to reply to him after that. And when he’d asked to go get coffee, you’d agreed. 

“Hi.” You waved when you walked up to his table, taking note of his security team surrounding the place. He’d really amped it up. 

“Hey!” He cracked his knuckles and stood up to hug you. “You look great.” He said lamely before sitting back down. 

“Thanks. You do too.” You nodded, drumming your hands on the table. “So uh. What’s new?” 

“Just getting ready for tour. You already knew about the album. So. What’s new with you?” 

“Not much. Got promoted at work. Just staying busy, you know?” 

He nodded, he did know. One of the reasons he was making sure to be out of Korea every weekend was so he wasn’t sitting here thinking about you. He’d had a ring picked out, ready to buy when you’d broken up with him. 

You’d had your problems, sure, but he’d thought your were moving past it to a better place. How wrong had he been when he’d come home to all your things packed up.

“I’m sorry.” You said after what felt like hours of silence, a sigh following. 

“For what?” 

“How I left. I was a dick. You deserved better.” 

“I did.” He nodded. “But so did you. We just didn’t work anymore.” 

“No. But maybe we can be friends?” 

“Yeah.” He gave you a sad smile before looking down into his coffee. Jiyong had never wanted to just be your friend. 

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

A few more months went by, casual texts exchanged here and there. When he’d heard you’d transferred to LA for work he’d invited you to the show he was doing there. You declined claiming you had to work. But you knew the reality. If you went to his show you’d have to deal with the fact that you still loved him. You couldn’t do that. Not now when you’d finally moved on. 

You leaned over the railing of the yacht you’d rented with your friends, scrolling your phone to see Jiyong was at the airport heading to the same city as you. How ironic.  

“Oh. My. God. G Dragon is in LA?!” Your friend squealed next to you. You sighed and put your phone away. Sometimes you forgot how big his fan base was. 

“Yeah.” You shrugged. 

“I didn’t know you were a fan!” She exclaimed, reaching for her phone. 

“I’m not.” You turned back to the water. You weren’t going to explain your history with G-Dragon to a new friend. 

It was weird watching Jiyong at the airport while you were on a boat. In a past life you would’ve traveled with him. Your friend rolled her eyes, reading over the news article about Jiyong. 

“Then why were you looking at photos of him?” 

“He pops up sometimes, you know, because of everything I do for work.” You shrugged, and because you had to make sure he and your current boyfriend weren’t at the same events. 

“Mhm.” She paused, looking up at you. “He’s playing a festival tomorrow, we should go.” 

“Oh. No. I’m not going to that. But you should go.”

You turned your attention back to the water, the sun was starting to set. You knew if Jiyong was there he’d enjoy this view the most. You shook your head as you leaned against the railing, you’d moved on so why couldn’t you shake him from your thoughts? 

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

Jiyong looked for you, not that he could really make out faces in the crowd, but he would’ve been able to spot you anywhere. He channeled his energy into his set, trying not to let it show how much it bothered him you weren’t there. He’d known this would be the outcome but he’d remained hopeful you’d change your mind. 

After the show, he met up with his friends who were also in town for various projects for dinner. That’s when he saw you, sitting across from some other man. His hand gripped his glass a little tighter. Of course you’d moved on, it had been over a year and you had left him. That didn’t make it any easier to watch. 

“You okay, bro?” Seunghyun's voice broke his thoughts and he turned to his best friend and nodded. 

“Yeah.” His eyes drifted back to you and he downed the rest of his drink. Seunghyun’s eyes followed Jiyong’s and widened in realization. 

“Is that?” Before he could say your name Chaerin had spotted you and called out.

You turned, wide eyed when you spotted the three of them and let out a sigh. Excusing yourself, you stood and made your way to them. Los Angeles was apparently not a big enough city to not run into your ex and his best friends. 

“Hi.” You nodded at everyone.

“Hey girl!” Chaerin stood up hugging you tightly. She’d always been one of your favorite people.

“How was the show?” Jiyong shrugged and Chaerin rolled her eyes. 

“He killed it like always. My group plays tomorrow. You should come.” 

“Yeah, maybe.” You nodded.

“I won’t be there, I leave in the morning.” 

“Oh. Okay.” You looked between the three friends. “I’ll think about it.” You turned back to your friend and sighed. “I should get going. It was really good to see you all!” You waved, turning back to your seat. 

You watched them leave a few minutes later, a sad smile on your face. Maybe that would be the last time you’d ever see Jiyong. You had no plans to go to Korea, unless work sent you out that way. 

∘•···············•∘ʚ ♡ ɞ∘•················•∘

Sorry we interrupted your date. 

That wasn’t a date? He’s just a friend. 

Oh.

Either way, though, we can’t keep doing this. Talking like we’re friends when we’re not. 

We’re not friends?

Ji. 

I’ll see you around then. 

You sighed as you sat your phone down. You couldn’t help but wonder how it would’ve felt to see him sitting across from someone that wasn’t you. The thought made you feel sick and you groaned as you laid back in your bed. It wasn’t fair to think like that. You’d walked away from him so many times. It also wasn’t very to the guy you were very much dating (not the guy from dinner, but your very real boyfriend) to be talking to Jiyong or thinking of him for that matter.

You’d broken up with him, you had to let him go. So you picked your phone back up and did what you should’ve done a year ago, and blocked his number. You also took the time to block his socials, including the private Instagram of his that still followed you. 

Jiyong had noticed, of course, when he’d done his scrolling that night that he no longer followed you. It was probably for the best, but that didn’t make it sting any less.  He’d do his best to let you go, even if it had already been a year and no luck on his part. He had a feeling he’d always love you.

tag list: @wcnderlnds @infinetlyforgotten @berfgrimm @ttturnitup, @aizshallnotbefound @loveesiren @tulentiy @petersasteria @flymetothexmoon @mashtatosworld @alosss-blog @sooyasya @dprvivi @mirahyun @breakmeoff @1950schick @sherrayyyyy @bettelaboure @allthoughtsmindfull @sylviavf @makotocrys @lilshu65 @crvshedpetals @lolzworld @evasmlp @jiraiyathehokage

[shortnsweetgf]

you were the best but you were the worst, as sick as it sounds, i loved you first

i love you i'm sorry (2024) for @imperpetuallylost ☀️

[soapyspurnell]

agatha "i miss you im sorry" harkness and rio "i love you im sorry" vidal, i did not realize how much i needed you and thank you for your presence :)

[willyoucrie]

i miss you i’m sorry x i love you i’m sorry 🤍💛

@gracieabrams

[your-mommy-ems]

I love you, i'm sorry - gracie abrams

tsou is literally a no-skip album and gracie decided to top that and put out this masterpiece of a mv. sjdhgas i love her.

@nqds (my beta watcher fr <3) @xo-zozo, @sophiesonlinediary, @reminiscentreader

[ijustdontlikepeople]

🎵 'Cause that's just the way life goes🎵

I Love You, I’m Sorry + Quinn Hughes as requested by Anon for Song + Guy Moodboards

[marinurheart]

lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me (re-reading his texts to prove that he cared)