ask meme | past.
@sunkissies ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ — ❝ you could, but you just don’t want to. ❞ — kireum.
he never really yells, has always tried to be better- different from what he was subjected to when he was young. but- it’s too much. there’s the stress of being a fledgling, then the new threat that looms so near the corner. his cases are piling up, there are more expectations from him as a police officer and— it’s too much. so, when ahreum pushes him to reveal more about what he’s doing under wraps, he can’t hold back.
“so what! is that so wrong? can’t i keep anything to myself?” he exclaims, face red, one hand going up to his hair to pull at the strands, messing it up even more. it feels so long since he had a good night’s sleep, due to too many hours spent at work; cases are brought home, he has to drive to investigations at the middle of the night. and even with new, inhuman powers, he feels tired. his patience stretches thin, too thin to think calmly about what he’s saying.
“you can read my mind- can’t you — it hasn’t stopped you before. just- for this time- let me handle it!” it’s hard- to never be able to keep a secret, and while ahreum has been right about the fact he never should attempt to do so— for his sake and hers — he feels his thoughts are all over the place. “i just- i need some time. i have- i have too much in my head- and— the idea of you seeing all of that — i can’t —” he lets out, tone quieting down, one hand going up to run across his face. “well... perhaps i can- but i ‘just don’t want to’.”
it’s a quiet acceptance, mimicking the words she used against him. it’s not that simple, it has never been, and it hurts. and because kihwan knows that seeing ahreum’s reaction to his words will break his heart, he avoids her gaze, too cowardly to meet her eyes again. he moves to grab his jacket from the hanger, as well as his keys and turns to face the door. “i just — i need some time to sort my thoughts. we’ll- we’ll talk later.” with that, he leaves their house, and gets into his car.