Feb 12
Chaos WHEEZE Emoji
I made this emoji for my Discord server and oh my god I love it so much holy shit
ITS GOLD
I also made a Mysterion one here
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Chaos WHEEZE Emoji
I made this emoji for my Discord server and oh my god I love it so much holy shit
ITS GOLD
I also made a Mysterion one here
Mysterion WHEEZE emojj
I made a Mysterion one.. I also made a Chaos one here, but I made a Mysterion one too!
Imagine It, If You Will... Chapter One
Butters sighed, sitting on his bed after getting grounded once again, and for yet again a completely ridiculous reason.
It'd been around a week since he'd saved Imaginationland and it's residents, even though some of them were kinda mean and putting everything on him when he just wanted to go home, but he understood why it was important! He'd be stressed out too, if his home and friends were being threatened and killed like that, but he still wished they were a bit nicer. He also wished his parents hadn't grounded him after he saved Imaginationland; saving all of imagination was more important than cleaning the basement, darnit.
Everything was just... normal, now, and it wasn't that Butters wanted attention or anything, he just wanted to go a day without getting grounded, damnit!
Sparks crackled in his hands as he grew more frustrated, and he yelped, scurrying back on his bed, the electricity surging a bit before vanishing. His breathing sped up as he started to hyperventilate, looking at his hands with wide eyes as he tried figuring out what just happened. He hadn't just done that, had he? He must've been seeing things; there was no way that had just happened!
He wasn't in Imaginationland, he'd tried imagining things all week, especially not being grounded anymore, and none of it worked, so he was definitely back in the real world. So how...?
Realization hit.
He'd been trying to help against the evil side of Imaginationland, and after failing to bring Santa back, he'd figured he'd try something else. He'd tried imagining Professor Chaos into existence, albeit with a few tweaks so he wouldn't attack the good side of Imaginationland, but it hadn't worked either, despite the weird feeling he'd gotten after he'd tried it. So he hadn't given much thought to it not working at the time, and instead went back to focusing on reviving Santa Claus.
It had worked in a way from the looks of it. Butters was Professor Chaos, so by trying to bring him into existence, he'd just brought him into existence through himself, meaning.... Butters focused again, gasping as the electricity formed in his hands again, forming a crackling orb in each of his palms, and it flickered out a few moments later. He couldn't believe he'd actually done this, oh his parents were gonna-! . . . Wait... what if he didn't tell them?... He was just gonna get grounded and blamed for it anyways, and he could only imagine how they'd react to their son having superpowers... so what if they didn't find out?
Butters hopped up from his bed, starting to pace in his bedroom as he started to think, eyes narrowed a bit in thought as he contemplated what this meant. He'd always wanted to be Professor Chaos- to be able to be strong, fly, control lightning, and now he could! Well, probably! If he had the lightning, he could probably do everything else, too!
Butters didn't want to try testing that right now, though, just in case he accidentally broke something and got in trouble for it again, which he didn't want to happen right now. So instead he started getting to work, fishing through his closet for the old costume he'd made a bit ago, looking through some boxes before finding the helmet, gloves, boots, cape, and cape clasps. It was all made of tin foil except for the dark green cape, but Butters could worry about materials later! It wasn't like there was a superhero that could show up and stop him from completing his evil plans of exacting his revenge on the world that had shunned him, so he didn't need actual armor!!
Butters let out a quiet, evil and menacing giggle laugh, as to not alert his parents he was awake and prompt them to investigate, and he paused in thought. He'd need more than just this for a good costume, so he started searching around in his closet, finding a dark gray t-shirt and black jeans. Perfect! Butters set up all the articles of clothing on his floor, nodding to himself before pausing, rubbing at his left eye.
He'd lost it a while ago after Kenny, Kyle, Stan, and Eric had been playing with ninja weapons, Butters going outside dressed as an evil ninja to play with them after they wouldn't let him be a hero like them, but during their battle, he'd gotten a throwing star... well... thrown into his eye. Then he'd been dressed up as a dog as they tried hiding the fact that they hurt him, then he slipped away while they got into a fight with Craig, Tolkien, Clyde, and Jimmy. Once he'd gotten to the hospital, they thought he was a dog, sent him to the animal shelter where he got pooped and peed on, and even almost euthanized before he ran away from the animal shelter, and finally passed out at the fair after finding his way there.
Once the doctors finally helped him, they couldn't save his eye, and he was left with a scar over it. He usually tried wearing a contact lens over it to hide it, despite the discomfort it caused, and his mom let him use concealer for the scar, but it hurt too much on a good day, and as a supervillain as cool and fearsome as Professor Chaos, he could have a cool and scary eyepatch to hide his scar! Butters looked through his closet again, finding a black eyepatch he'd used for a pirate costume, and he grinned at it.
Within minutes, Butters had put his costume on, pulling the helmet on over his head and standing in front of his mirror, grinning at his reflection. The helmet was still a bit uncomfortable, but at least the opening at the top prevented his hair from getting flattened, and the tin foil was flexible enough for him to adjust as needed. His gloves were a bit pokey on his fingers, but his long-sleeved dark gray shirt protected his arms, the gloves going up to just below his elbows, and his boots ended just below his knees, not nearly as uncomfortable.
He looked so cool! Now, all he needed to do was find a good target for his first new evil scheme.... And he knew juuuuust who to target... But tomorrow. He had school and needed to sleep; if he didn't wake up in the morning, he'd get grounded for sure! So, with a dejected sigh, Butters removed his costume and got into his pajamas, hiding his terrifying, evil costume under his bed, prepared for tomorrow, and then he could exact his malevolent revenge!!
And his revenge did indeed come, after a long day of waiting for the night to come, mainly keeping to himself at school as he tried to contain his excitement. Butters stood outside of Hell's Pass Hospital the next night, long after his parents went to sleep, dressed in his full evil, terrifying costume as Professor Chaos. He had a few cartons of eggs he'd bought after school sitting stacked up on the ground next to him, the cardboard packaging casting a dark shadow on the sidewalk, a true testament to his evil plans for their contents...
"Dumb doctors, thinking I was just some dog after I got dressed up like one with some socks, dog hair and grass..." Butters mumbled to himself, getting himself worked up, "This oughta show 'em what happens when they're a buncha... buncha dumbies!"
He was so mean!
Butters crouched down, flipping open an egg carton, and grabbing an egg, standing back up and looking back up at the hospital, his uncovered eye narrowing as a dark smirk spread across his face as he threw it, the shell shattering against the wall high up on the building. He could see it now- the people of the hospital unable to get the splattered eggs off of their high walls, and even the high horses they're on won't be tall enough to get them down! Butters let out an evil laugh, albeit a quiet one so he didn't get caught, and he threw more eggs, trying to get them as high up on the building as possible. Some even landed on the roof, much to his enjoyment! Once Butters ran out of eggs, he finally let himself laugh, hands on his hips.
"Hahahaha! Yes!! They'll never get those eggs down! They'll have to go to work every day, looking up at all those eggs, completely unable to get them down! Once the flies come in, they'll pester the staff, too! Constantly going in windows, getting in all the coffee! Well, hopefully not the coffee, that doesn't need to be wasted, but the flies'll mess with everybody else real good!" Butters grinned to himself after laughing, rubbing his hands together as he anticipated the chaos his plan would leave in his wake.
"Hey, little boy! What do you think you're doing?!" Butters yelped a bit as he saw security guards exiting the hospital, heading towards him with flashlights and handcuffs.
"Oh hamburgers!" Butters yelped, taking off down the side walk, cape flapping behind him in the wind as he ran down the street, the guards chasing behind him.
Butters made it to the streets, ducking into alleys, eventually managing to lose them after quickly climbing up a fire escape, hiding on a roof behind a chimney. That was close... Butters caught his breath for a few minutes, chest heaving, and he peeked over the edge of the roof, watching the guards look around in the street for any signs of him. They eventually gave up after fifteen minutes, Butters getting more than enough time to catch his breath before starting to make his way home, avoiding the edges since he didn't really like heights all that much.
He wasn't sure if he could fly or not, and he didn't want to get hurt, or wreck his costume by falling. He really needed something better than tin foil, even if heroes weren't an issue... Butters walked across the rooftops, tin foil crinkling slightly with each step, and he eventually found a fire escape, climbing down it before walking through the streets the rest of the way back, tin foil glinting under the glow of the streetlights. Once Butters got to his home, he looked up at his window, which was still cracked open from when he'd left, and he looked down at the heap of snow he'd made while playing earlier today so he could use it as a cushion, but now he had no way of getting back inside.
"Aw, damnit..." Butters mumbled, looking up at his window, and sighing, "It's now or never..."
Butters concentrated, and he felt his feet slowly lift up from the ground, causing him to look down as he started to float up from the ground, and he flailed in the air, trying to get some form of balance, and he grunted as he hit the ground, or well, the snow that somewhat cushioned his fall. He shook it off, shivering, and he focused again, floating up towards his window, pulling it open before entering his room, gently closing the window behind himself. He let his feet softly touch his carpet floor, tin foil slightly torn from his fall but in tact, and he started quietly removing and hiding his costume under his bed, changing into his pajamas. He glanced over at the alarm clock, wincing as he saw the clock read 4:08 AM, and he groaned, letting his head hit his pillow as he fell asleep.
. . . He regretted his nightly outing a little when his mom got him up earlier than normal for an early breakfast, but at the same time he didn't. That had been so much fun, and his only regret was that he didn't do it earlier! Butters got dressed in his light teal shirt, dark green pants, and black shoes, and as he walked into the orange bathroom, looking at his contact lens, he hesitated. Sometimes he really didn't feel like wearing it, and with how his eyes burned slightly from lack of sleep, today was one of those days.
He could still feel pain in his left eye, and he could feel discomfort from the contact, he just couldn't see out of it. He used the concealer to cover up his scar and some of the bags under his eyes, and he looked up to see if he missed any spots, but it didn't look like he had. He paused, looking at his left eye, grimacing a bit at the milky white pupil that had a jagged line down the middle, his iris a dull blue, and the white of his eye was reddened. He winced, knowing Kenny still felt bad about the accident, and Butters usually tried covering it up in order to keep everyone from being uncomfortable, but he didn't feel like making his eye agitated and achy for hours. So, Butters walked out of the bathroom before going downstairs, to the right and into the orange-walled kitchen where his mom was putting plates of pancakes on the kitchen table, his dad already sitting there.
"Morning, mom and dad!" Butters greeted.
"Hello, Butters!" His mom responded with a smile.
"Good morning, Butters." His dad said, looking up from his newspaper and seeing his eye, "You aren't wearing your contact lens today?"
"Well, I would, but my eye's kinda painful today. I figured I'd give it a break, like the doctor said to!" Butters replied, putting some syrup on his pancakes.
"You didn't sleep with it in again, did you?" He asked.
"No, I haven't done that in a while." Butters shook his head no.
"Alright, Butters. Just don't pay attention to if anyone looks off-put by your eye, alright? You know how it makes some people uncomfortable, especially the kid that threw that throwing star into it; that has to eat him up inside every time he sees it."
Butters looked down as his dad stood up, heading to refill his cup of coffee, guilt churning in his gut. He was right, I'm being selfish trying to keep my eye from hurting... Butters poked at his food, not feeling as hungry anymore from the shame pooling inside of him.
"Is there something wrong with the pancakes, Butters?" His mom asked as she walked over with her own plate, and he shook his head no.
"No, of course not!" Butters answered, and he started to eat, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
After finishing his food and doing the dishes, he headed to the bathroom, grabbing his contact lens before pausing. Wait a second.... Butters used it every day in order to make people more comfortable, so why couldn't he have just one day? Butters clenched his hands into fists before walking out of the bathroom and downstairs and walking out of the house, and he started walking to school. Sure, he could take the bus, but if there was one thing every villain needed, it was the stamina to run away from police or superheroes if their evil scheme failed. So he started running, sprinting as fast and as long as he could before needing to stop and catch his breath.
He seemed... faster almost, but not by much; just enough for him to notice, but maybe that was just him. Butters still made it to school a bit earlier than normal, taking a moment to catch his breath before heading into the school and to his locker. The hallways were already bustling with students, shoes squeaking on the brown floors as he made it to his teal locker. Butters was aware that he could've used an eyepatch, but he didn't want to make any connections between himself and Professor Chaos in case someone started looking for his true identity...
Butters paused, a thought occurring to him. He'd been so wrapped up in the revelation he'd had powers and plotting to exact his revenge on the hospital, that he'd completely forgotten to tell Dougie about everything yesterday! Butters hurriedly shut his locker and started looking for Dougie, finding him at the end of the hallway at his locker, and he ran over to him.
"Dougie! You're not gonna believe what happened!" Butters exclaimed.
"You egged the hospital last night? I saw on the news this morning that a supervillain was behind it, and I figured it was you." Dougie replied, voice quiet to avoid attracting attention.
Aw dang it, he was on the news and he didn't even see it!
"Yeah, that was me, but that's not the only thing that happened!" Butters grinned, "Meet me by the alley next to the school at recess?"
"The one by the goth kids?" Dougie questioned.
"No, the other one." Butters clarified, and Dougie nodded.
"Alright... . . . How much did you sleep last night, anyways?" Dougie asked, and Butters looked off to the side sheepishly.
"I uh... well... not much." Butters admitted, "Villains don't need sleep, anyways!"
"Well how can they think of evil plans if they're too exhausted to think clearly?" Dougie countered, and Butters looked down, seeing his point.
"Aw dang it..." Butters mumbled, "Alright, I'll catch up on sleep later, but I really wanna show you what happened! You're gonna freak out!"
The bell rang at that moment, and Butters's shoulders slumped, "Aww dang it... Well, at least we're that much closer to recess! See you later, Dougie!"
With that, they went to their own classes, and thus began the long wait for recess. It seemed to take even longer to get through classes, Butters not really paying attention to anything but the lessons, Kyle, Stan, Eric, and Kenny sticking to and talking amongst themselves, not paying him much mind, thankfully. Butters almost nodded off a few times during dull moments in class, but he forced himself to stay awake. Villains need to be able to stay awake even when tired, so Butters needed to get better at doing the same thing!
The final bell before recess rang, giving Butters a surge of adrenaline, causing him to bolt out of the classroom and out of the school, heading to the playground. He ran to and checked the alley next to the school, and he saw that Dougie wasn't there yet, so he waited. He waited for around five minutes before he finally showed up, a grin spreading across Butters's face.
"So, what did you want to tell me?" Dougie asked as he walked over to him.
"Ok, so, do you remember the Imaginationland thing I told you about?" Butters responded, Dougie nodding, "Well, while I was there, I tried creating Professor Chaos to help, since he's super powerful."
"Wouldn't he have just started attacking the good imagination characters?" Dougie questioned.
"Well, technically, yeah, but he didn't show up. I am Professor Chaos, Dougie, so by trying to create him, and I think by not really having full control over my imagination, well... Something else happened." Butters explained, Dougie looking at him curiously.
"Like what?"
Butters smirked, holding out his hands before concentrating, electricity forming and crackling in his hands, causing Dougie to gasp. Butters was for a moment worried that he'd scared him, something he didn't want to do, but Dougie didn't look scared, thankfully. He looked surprised and taken aback, but not scared. Then, after a moment, Dougie started to get enthusiastic.
"Woah! How long have you been able to do that?!" Dougie exclaimed, Butters letting the electricity fizzle out.
"I found out yesterday, and I completely forgot to tell you! I was so excited about it it completely slipped my mind. Sorry, Dougie.." Butters apologized.
"Hey, don't worry about it. I know about it now, right? One day doesn't change the fact that you can do that! Have you found out anything else you can do?" Dougie asked, and Butters grinned.
"Well, I know I can fly, but I'm not really good at it yet." Butters answered, and he focused, feeling his feet lift off of the ground slightly a moment later.
"That's so cool! What are you planning to do with those powers, anyways?" Dougie questioned as Butters let his feet hit the ground again.
"Well, I don't really know what I'll use 'em for; electricity is dangerous, after all! I wanna get more into the supervillain thing again, though, and I was wondering if you'd want to help me?" Butters replied, and Dougie nodded.
"It'd be an honor to help your cause, Professor Chaos," Dougie responded, and Butters smiled, excited, "Wanna meet up after school and figure out everything we'll need to do for you to be successful? If you're a villain, odds are a superhero will show up and try to stop you."
"Like they could!" Butters replied, feeling confident in himself before pausing, "Well, maybe getting better at using my powers would be helpful, just in case...."
Dougie nodded, and proposed, "You wanna meet up at your house later? You still have that big dry erase board, right?"
"Yeah, it's in my closet." Butters confirmed, "See you after school?"
"Yeah, I'll let my parents know that I'm coming over to your house for a sleep over." Dougie responded, and Butters nodded, excited.
"See you in a few hours then, Dougie- I mean, General Disarray." Butters grinned, the two of them laughing quietly and malevolently before going their separate ways for now, Butters heading to the cafeteria once lunch started, Dougie sitting by him as they talked a bit more about Butters's evil scheme last night.
After lunch was over and classes started, once again, just like yesterday, school couldn't end fast enough. Butters barely stayed patient during the classes, paying attention but also counting the seconds down. He'd started to get some concerned glances from some of the other students, Kenny being one of them, but the glances were brief, ending as soon as he saw his eye, making some guilt form in Butters's gut again. Once the final bell rang, Butters bolted out of the classroom and out of school, running home- albeit taking breaks once he had to catch his breath. After he got to his house, he headed inside, managing to contain his excitement, but just barely.
His parents were both watching TV- some kind of soap opera by the looks of it, and he informed, "Hey mom, dad? My friend Dougie is coming over soon for a sleepover, just thought I'd let you guys know."
"Alright Butters, just don't stay up too late. It may be Friday, but you need your sleep." His dad replied, and Butters nodded.
"Ok!" Butters accepted before running up the stairs to his room, excited.
Butters opened the door into and entered his room, turning on the light as he started fishing through his closet for his dry erase board and markers, finding them and setting up the board on it's stand, it feeling much lighter than he remembered. He was almost tempted to put on his costume, but he didn't want to risk his parents walking in and seeing it, compromising his villainous secret identity and ruining all of this, so he decided against it. Instead, he kept his costume safe under his bed, and he waited for Dougie to arrive, practicing his control over his electricity in the mean time, slowly getting better at creating it at different strengths.
Twenty minutes after Butters had gotten home, he heard a car pull up outside, and when he looked out his window, he saw Dougie exiting his parent's car with a backpack and Star Trek sleeping bag, heading up to his front door before Butters lost sight of him. Less than a minute later, his bedroom door opened, Dougie walking in.
"Hey Dougie! I have the dry erase board ready, and plenty of markers!" Butters informed, a smile on his face as Dougie shut the door.
"Great! I grabbed some notebooks to keep track of everything, and I wrote down some stuff for you to look into for being a supervillain, like the necessities and all." Dougie informed, and he put his backpack on Butters's bed, grabbing a notebook and flipping it open before heading to the dry erase board, grabbing a marker, and writing things down.
SUPERVILLAIN NECESSITIES:
EVIL LAIR
GOOD ARMOR
FIGHTING SKILLS
EVIL MASTER PLAN
BETTER CONTROL OVER POWERS
ARCH NEMESIS
SOURCE OF FUNDING
MINIONS
"Uh... is all this really necessary?..." Butters asked, and Dougie nodded, "Well, alright... Where would a good base be, though?..."
"My grandma has a storage locker? I could ask her if we could use it?" Dougie offered, and Butters shook his head no.
"No, we'd need more room than a storage locker... I'll look into that later! What about armor? How am I supposed to get that?" Butters questioned, and Dougie shrugged.
"I don't really know... Could work on it later once you need it?" Dougie suggested, and Butters nodded.
"Yeah, I'll see what I can find. Fighting skills?" Butters paused, and he thought for a moment, "Maybe YouTube?"
"Or there's some karate classes through the school that you could take? Plus self-defense classes, too." Dougie said, "You need to learn how to fight sooner or later, just in case someone tries stopping you from your evil schemes."
"Good point... I'll look into them on Monday, or maybe I can find a dojo or something and stop by there after school." Butters replied, and Dougie nodded in agreement, "As for master plans... I don't really have one right now. We'll get back to that, and the last three. I... I don't really know what I wanna do for a master plan, or how I'll get minions or money..."
"We can workshop it later." Dougie offered, and Butters nodded, "Any ideas on armor materials for once the opportunity comes along?"
"Well, steel would be kinda nice with how strong it is, but I'm not sure who would make me armor. An evil blacksmith?" Butters asked, and Dougie shrugged, not seeming to know either.
"Yeah, I figured we wouldn't have anything on the list..." Dougie sighed.
"Hey, we don't need to! It's like... I dunno, a bunch of goals? It's all things we need to look into, and learning how to fight is probably a good thing. I mean, electricity can really hurt someone, and I don't wanna do that! A punch would probably be a lot less harmful!" Butters said, and Dougie laughed a little.
"Yeah, you have a point." Dougie told him, "Once you get an evil lair, maybe you can train with your powers more?"
"That's kinda the plan.... Hang on, I could use my computer to look up abandoned locations no one goes to?..."
"Good idea."
And so began a search for different abandoned buildings that became an hour long discussion of pros and cons before finally, they seemed to find the perfect spot. An abandoned amusement park, with plenty of room for evil plans, not to mention resources for evil gadgets and practically anything evil! Besides, what was more menacing and scary than an abandoned amusement park?! Once getting that situated, Butters planned to stop by it and investigate it tomorrow, and in the meantime he pulled up videos on YouTube about self defense tips, everything the best villains had, and he stayed up for a while watching those, even after Dougie went to sleep.
He was a creature of the night now, after all; he'd need to get used to staying up late. Sure, he eventually fell asleep to a video of how to do a villain laugh, but he still stayed up late! The next day Butters bided his time, waiting out the day. He was on best behavior so he wouldn't get grounded, playing the role of a sweet, innocent boy, but once nighttime came... Professor Chaos made his mighty, terrifying return!
Butters, now dressed in his costume of tin foil, dark green cloak, and black shirt and pants, made his way stealthily out of his room after an hour of going to bed. He made his way to the amusement park, sticking to the shadows like a true villain, and finally, he made it there. He stood before the abandoned amusement park, looking at the barricaded entrance, and he knew it was a good spot. There was no way in currently; Butters walked around the whole perimeter of the park, but he couldn't see a way in.
"Aww man, how am I supposed to get in?..." Butters mumbled to himself.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, he had no way in- Butters paused, looking at the fencing surrounding the building. He could try flying above it, couldn't he?... No, no way! It was way too high up! But... If he could get in, it would be the best base ever. Dougie had offered to ask his grandma if they could use her storage locker, but that didn't feel evil enough... Butters looked up at the fencing again, eyes narrowing a bit as he made up his mind. It was now or never...
Butters squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated, and he felt his feet leave the ground. He hesitantly opened his eyes, seeing him raising above the ground, and he yelped as he looked down, "Oh hamburgers! Maybe this was a bad ideeeeaaaaaaaAAAAA-! AHHH!"
He plummeted, and he squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for impact, only to feel himself abruptly stop. He hesitantly opened his eyes, seeing himself hovering a few feet above the ground, and he looked around, spinning slightly in the air in a way that made him slightly nauseous, but he pushed it down.
He looked up again, then down, and he narrowed his eyes again. He was a supervillain now! He couldn't be scared of heights when he could fly! That wasn't very villainous, now was it?
He looked up again with newfound determination, and he focused, shooting up in the air. He started to scream, the freezing wind rushing through his hair and pelting his face, before starting to laugh, the adrenaline washing over him exhilarating. He stopped, floating high above the ground, and he slowly looked down. Seeing nothing there filled him with panic, but he pushed past it, knowing he couldn't afford to get scared now.
He pushed himself forward, zipping through the sky at high speeds, and despite the freezing cold air, he wasn't letting it bother him. He flew around for a bit longer, turning, spinning, flipping, and despite getting nauseated, he didn't let it bother him, having more and more fun the longer he flew around, laughing with excitement. He eventually stopped after a bit of flying, hovering high above South Park.
The buildings were dots and lights specks from this far up, and he grinned, shouting, "This town shall know the meaning of true chaos soon, if my name isn't Professor Chao- Ack!" A bug flew into his mouth, causing him to go into a coughing fit, coughing into his hands before finishing hoarsely, "Chaos..."
Butters looked around again, seeing he was quite the distance away from the amusement park, and he lowered his elevation as he flew back to it, slowly letting himself descend in the middle of the park. The inside was worn down and desolate, long abandoned, and it stayed that way as Butters snooped around. Then, he found it. The entrance to one of the scary tunnel rides, closed down and the cardboard cutouts inside broken down.
Butters walked down the rails, tin foil crinkling against the metal tracks, and it quickly grew dark. He paused, looking at his hand as he focused, a ball of electricity forming in his palm and serving as a make-shift light. The crackling electricity revealed spiderwebs, long unused by the bugs that made them, and it allowed Butters to watch his steps much more easily. As he kept walking, he looked over at a large cavern, once home to a scary scene, but it was large enough to serve as a hidden lair, especially with some renovations!
Butters walked into the area further, and he saw an 'employees only' door, but it was locked. Butters frowned, before smirking, testing his strength and kicking the door. The hinges broke, and Butters gasped as it fell inwards to a room, one wall covered in computers.
This must be the security office... Butters realized, yelping as he hovered above the ground as a rat ran past him. If he could restore power to this, he could have visuals to his whole new base at once! He exited the security office and the area that would soon be his new main headquarters, and he walked further down the tracks, seeing a few more areas, like maybe for vehicles if Butters ever got one. Every villain, even flying ones, needed some kind of vehicle, after all!
It was a goal for the future, but it was still a plan. Butters's imagination went wild as he looked around the area, already thinking of renovations, but he wasn't sure how to go about it. Then it came to him.... Mexicans! They would do anything for some cash, and they were super handy with construction!
He'd need to find some who would help him, but only once he made a floorplan of what he wanted it to look like. With the location known, Butters kept looking through the amusement park, finding some awesome stuff while he was at it! He even stopped having to rely on his new electric powers as his eye got used to the darkness! Wait... Butters looked at the sky, seeing the sun rising in the sky.
"Oh hamburgers!!" Butters yelped, leaping into the air and flying home as fast as he could.
His parents would kill him if they found him absent from his bedroom, and if they didn't by some miracle wring him a new one, he still couldn't let his secret villainous identity get found out! Thankfully, he got home and changed into his pajamas, hiding his costume once again and getting under his covers and snagging a few hours of sleep before his mom came to wake him up.
Phew, crisis averted... But he couldn't stay out like that all night again, the exhaustion he dealt with the whole day was so not worth it...
Discord server: https://discord.gg/wQfvxyEuvj
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I'm a huge fan of ur fic Imagine it, if you will and I'm really intrigued abt the necronomicon being brought up, especially as the number one eldritch kenny fan. Do u plan on doing anything with that in particular? :3
Yes I do! I plan on expanding more on Kenny having cult magic in him, and I've hinted at it a bit in Chapter Fifteen! ^^
I'm also an eldritch Kenny fan, and I wanted to give him a bit more powers like he'd had in TFBW. I'll be slowly building up to it overtime, along with unearthing a deeper conspiracy than shown in the show! The fic is going through the South Park timeline and is currently in Season Twelve, and once it reaches the superhero episodes where Cthuhlu came in, that's when Eldritch Kenny REALLY comes into play >=)
Bradley isn't stealing the spotlight this time
Imagine It, If You Will... Chapter Fifteen
It was Thursday after school when they got on the bus to go to New York, all of them arriving with their belongings packed for the field trip. Kenny didn't like leaving Karen and Kevin alone for this long- he hated that they couldn't come with, but it was only for the fourth grade class. Kevin had done it last year with his classmates, and Karen would be doing it in two years- maybe a year considering how smart she was; she could be bumped up a grade. The school's budget only permitted one class to go on a cross-country road trip, and the fourth grade won the raffle when it was picked years ago.
Apparently the adults had thought it would be a good idea to write each grade down on a piece of paper, put the names into a hat, shake it, and go from there. Kenny would be happy staying behind- he had too much to worry about between his siblings and Professor Chaos. Speaking of Chaos… it had been around two weeks since that lightning strike after Chaos blew up at him. Kenny… still didn't know how to feel about that outburst, but some things did make more sense.
Chaos was like Butters in a way, only Butters had unending optimism and faith in humanity while Chaos… didn't. They seemed to have similar home lives, only Chaos targeted every single punishment towards himself, believing he was inherently bad no matter what he did, so he tried embracing it, probably so it would hurt less. He would actually be doing something wrong instead of being punished for doing nothing; it would feel deserved and validated, not to mention how damn good it probably felt to lash out. Kenny had his own… instances of doing unheroic things, he wasn't a completely moral person, especially as a civilian.
He had standards, yes, Chaos did too, but Kenny also liked cutting loose in ways some wouldn't approve of, like getting off to Playboy magazines he'd stolen from his dad, or by getting into shit with Cartman, Kyle, and Stan. He didn't do everything they did- they usually roped Butters into it, but he'd been gone on that trip for two weeks, keeping him out of a lot of shit. Butters had more moral standards than anyone else in the town, maybe besides himself and he was a horny fourth grader, but regardless, Butters was a good kid… . . . if he ever ended up like Chaos, the world was fucked. Kenny had been meaning to show up at the Stotch residence for the last two weeks now, but Butters hadn't mentioned getting grounded again recently, and he couldn't just show up unprompted.
As much as he hated it, he needed Butters to be upset with his parents after they did something fucked up again, and then he could make his appearance. Besides, the cops had been roping him into a bunch of stings that had been taking up most of his nights. The downside about having an alliance with the police force meant having an alliance with the police force. When they got overrun with crime, they called him nonstop through his burner phone, and he wound up helping them.
He didn't mind it- beating up criminals, arresting them, telling the cops about any crimes he found or stopped so they could make arrests… A lot of criminals went to jail. It just… wasn't what Kenny had set out to do. He'd only meant to show up as a hero to fight Chaos, since his sister was scared of a potential supervillain, and then it escalated.
The little shit had powers, even if he didn't often use them, and he seemed to know he was dangerous. Professor Chaos went easy on him- restraining his strength and not using his electricity on him purposely- that lightning strike on that rooftop had been accidental, but it had zapped the shit out of Kenny. If he wasn't able to fight through the purple fog filling his mind that usually appeared when he died, he probably wouldn't have gotten back up, and he only did that because he needed to bring some food back for Karen, and he'd still been disoriented when he got back up for once. He did keep his distance from Chaos for a bit, though- letting him cool off while dealing with actual criminals, making armor from an old tire outside of his house, and he still cleaned up after some of his pranks in North Park, but Chaos was always gone by the time he showed up.
Kenny had every intention of using the long drive as a chance to catch up on some much needed sleep. Kenny tucked his ratty old suitcase under the seat, filled with white undershirts, his Mysterion costume under those, and some spare change for a laundromat so his parka and pants could be washed, though it would be nice to get another coat. It wasn't that he didn't like his parka- it covered his face well, something he liked since his parents had been drunk off their fucking asses while his mother was pregnant with him and his siblings, and his complexion took a toll for it. Kenny personally did not like his face, which is why he liked having it covered up, even if the parka muffled his voice to where he couldn't be heard clearly most of the time.
Still, having another civilian coat besides the thing he woke up in after dying again was nice. He had no idea how the fuck his parka was in perfect shape every time- maybe it was magic. Then again, his Mysterion costume was fine, too, right where he usually put it every day. . . . Were his clothes fucking magic or some shit?
Was that it? Kenny gave his suitcase one more kick, making sure it was secure down there because it contained all of his clothes and some spare change for a laundromat if it was cheap enough, he was not losing that barely-held-together piece of shit. There were pieces of gum stuck under the seat, and while it was free gum, he didn't feel like dying before the trip even started. Everyone from their grade was on this damn bus- besides Butters, but he was apparently still grounded from Halloween, but it'd been over a fucking month.
Butters never even elaborated what the hell happened, and while it made sense if it was a two week punishment after the camping trip, still… Butters probably would've loved to see the city… Maybe by the time Kenny came back, something would've happened and he could intervene and give his parents a very firm warning. Butters was a good kid, Kenny considered him a damn good friend- Butters had gone to see him in the hospital when he'd had bone cancer, not that the kid remembered it, but Kenny still remembered that drawing he'd made for him in crayon, saying he hopes he feels better soon. Even Stan hadn't shown up to the hospital before that death, and then Cartman drank his fucking ashes, and that was something.
While Kenny couldn't remember much from the time he was stuck sharing that fatass's body, he could remember some shit. Otherwise most of it was a blur, then something happened and everything was back to normal, the others welcoming him back from some 'trip'. The fucked up thing was Kenny had died from tripping over something more than once, but then again, he'd died to everything over his ten years of being alive.
He vaguely remembered choking on his mother's milk when he was a baby, mostly because it tasted like alcohol and milky alcohol was not something he wanted to taste again. It was also why Kenny hated milk most of the time unless it was chocolate, but then again, breast milk did taste a bit different from cow's milk; thankfully it hadn't ruined his love for titties. Kenny buckled up on the bus, looking at who was sitting with who. Cartman was sitting in his own seat, no one sitting by him, Stan and Kyle were sitting together, Tolkien and Tweek were next to each other, so were Clyde and Craig.
Wendy and Bebe were sitting with each other, Timmy was secured next to Jimmy, his wheelchair folded up and secured to the wall, and while Kenny was ok with sitting by himself while everyone else got situated, since he could sleep, he did feel a bit bad being the only one sitting by himself besides Eric fucking Cartman. Kenny looked out the window as the bus started moving, eventually managing to drift off to sleep after a bit. He woke up a while later to someone poking him on the shoulder, his eyes blinking open to see Tolkien standing there, suitcase in his hands.
"Yeah?" Kenny asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Sorry, uh, can I sit by you? Tweek keeps screaming in my ear while he sleeps." Tolkien said, Tweek snoring loudly in the background.
"Sure." Kenny nodded, and Tolkien slid his suitcase under the seat, sitting down next to him and buckling up.
Kenny could hear Mr. Garrison and his… boyfriend? Mr. Slave talking at the front of the bus, since Mr. Garrison had asked him to come along so they could drive in shifts. The thing about the budget was that there wasn't cash for the hotel, just for gas, and like hell was the school or Mr. Garrison paying to rent a floor of a hotel for a night outside of the hotel in New York City. So, they were doing it all in one go, sleeping in shifts, pissing and shitting when they got gas, and getting snacks at the gas station. Kenny didn't have any money for those, and his stomach was not happy about it. Looking out of the window, he could see signs nearby, and… wow they were in Nebraska, currently stopped outside of a gas station.
"I uh… we stopped at a gas station to fuel up, Cartman's inside grabbing snacks with Kyle and Stan, so we're waiting for him. Kyle and Stan went with to make sure he didn't take too long." Tolkien explained, and Kenny nodded.
"Makes sense." Kenny nodded, and Tolkien reached into his pocket, grabbing a Pop Tart.
"Do you want this? I got a few inside, and I have more stuff in my suitcase. We're supposed to stop for dinner in a bit, but this should hold you over?" Tolkien offered.
Fuck, the last one to offer him food was Chaos, and that little shit almost fried him in a meltdown two weeks ago… Kenny was hungry, and going out as Mysterion burned tons of calories.
"You sure?" Kenny asked.
"Yeah, consider it an apology for waking you up." Tolkien nodded, and Kenny accepted it, opening the wrapper and starting to eat it.
He had to remember to get something for his little sister- maybe a New York City Barbie or something- as long as it wasn't too glittery. He could not deal with more glitter, it was already getting all over his costume- he didn't need Chaos making jokes about him being in a strip club. Then again, Professor Chaos never really made jokes like that- he wasn't as inappropriate, mainly vulgar. He wasn't as tentative about it as he'd been earlier on, so he probably wasn't allowed to cuss by his foster parents.
"Thanks." Kenny thanked him after swallowing a mouthful of food, and Tolkien nodded.
The bus door opened, Kyle dragging a whining Cartman back onto the bus while Stan followed them, pinching the bridge of his nose. They were barely seated before Mr. Garrison started driving again, buckling up as Mr. Garrison pulled away from the gas station. Kenny and Tolkien talked for a bit before they stopped at a restaurant, pulling into the parking lot. It was a Burger King, and wow would it cost a lot to feed an entire grade of fourth graders, but that would be true anywhere they went. While they waited, they played this game on Tolkien's phone- Tetris, pausing it to eat. Once they'd eaten and thrown away the trash, they were on the move again, Kenny taking another nap on the way. A loud boom of thunder woke Kenny right up, his whole body tensing as he flinched, looking around rapidly.
"Kenny, hey, take it easy, man." Tolkien put a hand on his shoulder, Kenny looking over at him before looking out the window again.
They were driving on a highway through a thunderstorm, rain pelting the roof, and Kenny slowly relaxed. He didn't have a good experience with lightning after getting zapped by Chaos, even if it'd been an accident and he'd been fine. It'd been so loud, not to mention all of the other times he'd gotten zapped by lightning.
"You ok, dude?" Kyle asked, and Kenny looked behind him, remembering him and Stan were sitting behind him and Tolkien.
"Yeah, I'm ok." Kenny nodded, getting comfortable again.
"AGH! What if we get struck by lightning?!" Tweek exclaimed.
"It would fucking hurt…" Kenny mumbled.
"We won't get struck by lightning, don't worry!" Mr. Slave called out from the front of the bus, "Ugh, I wish there was some music in this thing…"
"Maybe Tolkien has a boombox." Cartman mentioned.
"Shut up and go back into hibernation you fucking bear." Kyle responded.
"Ey! Fuck you!" Cartman responded, and Kenny thumped his head against the side of the bus.
He didn't sleep at all throughout the thunderstorm, each flash of lightning out of the window waking him right back up. Besides, Kenny was usually up late most nights- his sleep schedule was shot, and sure, it was worth it, but it fucking sucked. He'd only died a few times in the last few weeks, so his exhaustion wasn't restarting often. He was currently really tired, but the damn lightning kept waking him up.
Once they were past it, Kenny managed to fall back asleep until early in the morning, where they'd stopped at an iHop for breakfast. Past that, gas stations and Mr. Garrison driving again while Mr. Slave slept. The two of them weren't together anymore from what Kenny could tell- Mr. Slave was mainly doing this as a favor for Mr. Garrison, and there was a trip to New York City involved, which made sense. For lunch, they stopped at a Mexican place, and then after a few more hours, the sun having set, they finally got to New York.
They drove for a bit longer until they got to the hotel, and Mr. Garrison paid for their rooms with the school's bank account. The rooms were separated to four kids in each room, as there were four beds in each one, the boys and girls separated. Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave got their own room with just two beds, and Kenny just slid his suitcase under his bed before getting situated on the bed. The bed was nice- at least compared to his own.
His parents had told him to sneak the blankets, soaps, and towels back, but Kenny wasn't about to steal from a damn hotel just because they were irresponsible adults. He was sharing a room with Cartman, Kyle, and Stan, and the class was going out early for breakfast and then to start the sightseeing. They later ate dinner at the hotel, playing some games at an arcade nearby before returning to their rooms. Kenny had brought his costume just in case he needed it, but it would be difficult to use his costume around the others, since getting changed into it and out of it would be risky, but he also knew he probably wouldn't sleep for shit.
Well, it apparently wasn't too difficult, since Kyle, Cartman, and Stan snuck out during the night after he declined the offer to go with them. After a half hour of restlessness, he caved, grabbing his suitcase from under his bed, changing into his costume. He looked at the makeshift armor, pausing as he debated putting it on. He didn't think he needed it- it was mostly for electricity since it was rubber.
However, there was no way in hell Chaos would be in New York- that kid was probably still egging houses if Kenny had any guesses. Still… it couldn't hurt to try out. Kenny sighed, strapping on the armor around his shoulders, knees, elbows, and around his abdomen. He opened the window, slipping out of it and onto the fire escape, climbing up and to the rooftop. He made his way to the nearby buildings, the clustered-together rooftops making for easy transportation as he just ran, getting his energy out.
Kenny probably ran for a good half hour- until around 9 PM, only stopping because he still needed to beat his friends back to the hotel room. He was actually on his way back to the hotel room when he heard a woman screaming in an alley, and his attention snapped to the sound. He could see a woman getting mugged by two men, and Kenny didn't waste time. He slid down the fire escape, landing in a crouch behind them before jumping up, grabbing their heads and slamming them together.
"Run!" Kenny told the woman as she grabbed her purse, using his gruff hero voice while the men recovered.
"Thank you, Mysterion!" She thanked him, and how the fuck did she know who he was?
Kenny shook off his confusion, turning back to the crooks as one spoke up, "Mysterion, eh? A long ways away from that lil' town a' yours. You're gonna regret comin' here."
"Yeah, go back to dealin' with sparky." The other chimed in, and Kenny scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"If you think Chaos is a threat, you're a fucking idiot." Kenny responded though yes, Chaos could be a major threat if he tried to be.
Kenny then proceeded to beat the fuck out of the crooks, something he'd gotten very good at, and after he landed the final punch, he took a moment to breathe and relax. There'd been some close calls with a screwdriver of all things, but it was nothing Kenny couldn't handle. Lightning had struck during the fight, loud and close, the thunder almost immediately following the bright light. The sudden appearance of it had almost distracted Kenny and gotten him stabbed, but he'd shook it off and gotten back to fighting, hoping it was just nothing.
"Mysterion?!"
Kenny's head shot up, and he looked around, seeing Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Wendy, and Tolkien standing there, Kyle having been the one to speak up.
"Fuck." Kenny muttered under his breath, the gruff voice dropping before he cleared his throat, the Batman impression back, "What the hell are you kids doing out at night? It's dangerous."
"Well, we were just exploring the city a bit! Me and my friend Wendy really wanted to see the Metropolitan Museum, since we're on a field trip, but we don't stop by there, and we might not get another chance to." Kyle explained.
"Talk to your teacher, then." Kenny responded.
"We tried! The trip isn't in the budget!" Wendy informed.
"And you're out on the streets why?" Kenny asked, crossing his arms.
"W-Well, uh… we wanted to go see it! So we were kinda gonna sneak in…" Stan admitted.
". . . You're from South Park, right? I've seen you there." Kenny said, knowing damn well they were from there.
"Yeah! Most of us, at least. Kyle's from New Jersey!" Cartman informed.
"Oh my god, would you let that go?!" Kyle snapped, "I was conceived there, I was born in South Park!"
"Still a Jinger Jersey Jew…" Cartman muttered, and Kyle's eye twitched, looking like he was five seconds from punching him.
"Go back to your fucking hotel room." Kenny ordered, "It's too dangerous out here."
"Wait! What if you took us?" Stan asked, and Kenny blinked.
". . . What?" Kenny questioned.
"Yeah, to the museum! That way you can make sure nothing happens to us, and you can see the museum too!" Wendy nodded.
"That could work! Only if you want to, Mysterion! I'm sure you're busy, if you're all the way over here!" Tolkien nodded.
"Wait, what are you doing here?" Kyle asked and Kenny looked off to the side.
"I uh… I'm visiting with family. I decided to patrol while I was here." Kenny lied.
"Oh, is that why my house keeps getting egged?" Cartman questioned.
"No, that's just because you're a fucking asshole." Kenny answered, turning around and walking away while Kyle, Stan, and Wendy started laughing quietly.
"Wh- I am not!" Cartman snapped.
"Cartman, do you really wanna argue with a guy that beats up adults like it's nothing?" Tolkien asked, and Kenny looked back just to see the 'oh shit I don't' look on Cartman's face.
Kenny paused before sighing, knowing he wouldn't let himself live it down if something happened to them. He was here for a field trip, and he could be a hero by keeping those five out of danger.
". . . Fine, let's go, but we'll need a map." Kenny sighed, the others smiling, "But then you're going back to your hotel. Understood?"
Upon receiving nods, they started walking, and after around ten-fifteen minutes, they were outside of the Macy's mall, where they usually did the parade. There was also a map kiosk outside of it, which they were able to get a map from. It was still a while away, maybe a half hour to forty minutes by subway. On the plus side, the subway was nearby, all they had to do was ride it to get to the museum. However, that meant riding a subway.
Kenny didn't want to get killed by or in a subway. However he didn't have a choice. Fuck his life. The six of them headed to the subway, getting on it since it was thankfully there, and they got on a subway car without anyone else on it. The next half hour was filled with shitty subway music, idle chatter and bickering, and Kenny trying to act all gruff and serious when in reality he wanted to laugh at some of the jokes but he couldn't because he had to stay in character.
No one else got on the subway car, but then again, Kenny was leaning against the wall, arms crossed with a 'fuck around and find out' look on his face, probably looking pretty intimidating. At least, he probably was to criminals. Once the subway stopped, they got off, getting on another subway, followed by more shitty subway music and bickering, and there were a few more people on this one. No one really said anything to him, too focused on their phones thankfully, watching the video of him and Chaos outside of the high school, and yet he was right there and they weren't paying attention. Typical adults.
Once the subway stopped, they got off, the adults finally realizing he was there, but he paid them no attention, following his five friends off of the subway. It wasn't like he wanted the attention anyways, he wasn't doing it for fame. Still, Chaos got asked to have selfies taken with him, but Mysterion didn't… then again, the whole police force in South Park had roped him into a picture, so he supposed they were even. Once they got to the museum, it was quiet, most lights off, no one seeming to be there. Kenny tried the front door, seeing it was unlocked, and he opened it, the six of them entering.
"Be quiet, there'll be guards here." Kenny whispered gruffly because just because it didn't look like anyone was there, there always could be.
The security cameras were powered off, which was weird- they should've gone off, right? Kenny didn't know much about security systems, but it seemed probable that there would be alarms.
"Uh, Mysterion?" Tolkien whispered, gaining his attention, and he saw the depowered alarm system hooked up to the door.
Kenny walked over to it, tapping a few buttons, but nothing happened. The power was out. Come to think of it, the streetlights were out as well, and there would usually be heating on in a museum, but the heating system wasn't on. The other blocks were fine, so why was this one out?
"Stay quiet. Something's wrong." Kenny whispered, "We should leave."
"But then we came all this way for nothing, I just.. can we quickly look around? Please?" Kyle requested, all eyes on him, and Kenny sighed.
"You get killed, don't blame it on me." Kenny sighed, deflating, and they started looking around, sticking together in a group.
They checked different areas, stopping by an Italian exhibit where there was a place for a pendant, but it seemed gone, having been donated by a 'Emilia Rosa' who Kenny knew was familiar from something. The display case was untampered with, but if it was stolen, maybe the robbers had already left? Kenny was thinking about this when the window on the ceiling crashed open as the front doors were kicked open, glass shattering all over the floor. Everyone yelped quietly, and Kenny pulled them behind a display case, people descending into the museum through the opening as icy air filled the building.
"Shit!" Kyle whispered under his breath.
"I fucking told you, let's move!" Kenny whispered back, voice gruff.
They hurried up the nearby staircase, steps mostly quiet, and they thankfully made it up safely. Kenny kept an ear out for the burglars, keeping track of them. Kenny went ahead of the five of them, checking each area, looking for threats and if he needed to deal with them. There had to be an exit somewhere- a fire escape- anything. He could handle this shit on his own, but he had these five to look after, and he didn't trust them to not fuck something up.
Kenny was checking an exhibit when he saw a familiar flash of silver, dark green, and black, and his jaw dropped. No fucking way. Kenny got closer, and yup, there was Professor fucking Chaos, hiding behind a display with his hood pulled up, looking around the corner at the railing where a few burglars were still entering the building with ropes, sliding down them.
So Chaos had been the cause of that sudden lightning strike- fuck, Kenny should've paid more attention to it…
Glass was breaking downstairs, the criminals seemingly looking for something. Chaos was trembling a bit from how tense he was, seeming scared.
The fuck was he doing here?!
"Chaos?" Kenny spoke up, and Chaos's hand flew up, clamping over his mouth as he whipped his head around to face Mysterion, looking like he'd gotten the shit scared out of him.
Why did he consider this kid a threat again? Oh yeah, right, the fucking electric powers, super strength, and the ability to fly. That would do it. Professor Chaos was about as intimidating as a puppy.
"Mysterion?!" Chaos fucking squeaked, proving Mysterion's point.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Kenny whisper-yelled at him, grabbing him by a new black scarf he was wearing over his mouth, pulling him up to his head level.
"What are you doing here?"Professor Chaos responded, pushing Kenny away and pulling his scarf down, revealing his mouth as he continued, "Isn't New York City a bit away from South Park? Is this where you've been for the last two weeks?"
Kenny paused, trying to think about how he wanted to play this before he replied, "I… got a tip that someone would break into this place. Me and my family were here visiting some family members and I snuck out to act on it." Kenny hesitated for a moment before asking, "Was this you?"
"I am not with whoever those guys are," Professor Chaos informed, "I was just uh… I wanted to see if there were any cool armors here, since y'know, I'm apparently the only one here with taste when it comes to armor, Michelin Man."
Kenny rolled his eyes, and he heard Cartman start laughing. Kenny sighed, and he saw recognition appear on Chaos's face, like he knew that sound. Kenny would ask questions later, right now he had to get five of his friends and Professor Chaos out of this damn museum… at least Chaos wasn't still volatile. If Kenny didn't know any better, he'd think the blond had been relieved to see him.
"Who're your friends?" Chaos asked, gesturing to where Kenny could hear the five of them walking over.
"They followed me here." Kenny sighed, lying, "They saw me crime fighting before coming here."
Chaos didn't need to know he'd gone out of his way to protect those five.
"I thought you were just here for the museum tip, not to replace the cops." Professor Chaos brought up, and Kenny gave him the finger.
"Fuck you." Kenny verbalized the gesture, glaring, "You might be telling the truth, though. You're too good to steal."
Chaos blinked at him, and Kenny watched his hands warily as electricity sparked around them, and Professor Chaos responded, "I need to zap you again to make you hide for another two weeks?"
Kenny knew damn well he wouldn't do that, Chaos didn't hurt people with his powers, not intentionally. Kenny knew that when Chaos bought him a fucking splint for his wrist after he sprained it trying to punch him and then fed him. Chaos could deny it all the fuck he wanted, there was a good kid under that costume. An angry, hurt kid, sure, but a good one.
"We both know that was an accident, you were pissed as shit." Kenny crossed his arms, "And you might not've seen me, but I saw you."
Kenny saw the panic appear on Professor Chaos's face, his eye widening. He had a pure 'oh shit' look on his face, like he was trying to figure out what Kenny could've seen. Was Chaos just worried about Kenny knowing about North Park, or had he been getting into some other shit that Kenny wasn't aware of? He needed to keep a better eye on this kid; Professor Chaos wasn't an active threat but Kenny didn't need him getting into some deep shit or starting some deep shit.
"What uh… What do you mean by that?" While Chaos sounded calm, his face gave him away.
For a villain, Professor Chaos got nervous a lot.
"North Park, asshole. Your cronies really can't go over there and do your dirty work? I've been having to clean up after you nonstop while the cops roped me into a bunch of stupid bullshit." Kenny answered, watching Professor Chaos closely, and based on the relief he could see on his face, that definitely hadn't been what Chaos had been worried about Kenny knowing.
Oh no, Chaos was up to something, and Kenny had to figure out what it was so he could stop him.
"Well, I gotta have some fun, after all." Chaos said, acting casual, "I'm many things, but I'm not lazy." The villain glanced at the other fiive again, "Though I didn't take you for the type to lead a bunch of girl scouts around a big city."
"Girl scouts?! Fuck you, asshole!" Cartman snapped, causing Professor Chaos to smirk, snickering.
"Don't mind Chaos, he's just being a prick." Kenny told Cartman, seeing a slight bit of amusement and offense on Chaos's face.
"Better than a fire hose." Professor Chaos mentioned, causing Kenny to glare him down.
They were not talking about that! Especially not around Eric Cartman of all people!
"Watch it, V." Kenny warned, and he saw a flicker of confusion cross Chaos's face.
Has no one seriously ever called Chaos 'V' before? His name was Victor, after all. Did he just not have creative friends? Were the kids he recruited for pranking just boring? Kenny knew the others could be asshole, but they weren't boring, that was for damn sure. Or Professor Chaos was just sleep deprived off his ass again- those bags under his eyes did not suit him well, he looked like he got attacked by a goth kid's makeup kit.
The confusion was gone as quick as it had come, realization seeming to strike him, and he replied, "Watch what? You trying to pull off underwear over tights like Batman?"
Kenny clenched his jaw, gritting out, "We already had this fucking conversation, asshole."
"Yeah but- oh ha- Shit!" Kenny was the confused one now, Professor Chaos grabbing him and with a lot of force Kenny was yanked behind a display case, a machine gun beginning to fire.
Kenny's heart started pounding in his ears because holy shit that had been close as fuck. He was pressed against Chaos's back, the two of them barely fitting behind the display case while the other five ran off. Chaos had turned away from him after pulling him behind the case, trying to see around the corner, and with a glance around his own side, Kenny saw someone in a black suit walking towards them with a gun. Kenny had died too many damn times to a gun, and he couldn't risk dying here with Professor Chaos and his friends needing his help. He glanced back at Chaos, seeing the sparks around his hands, and a lightbulb went off in his head.
"We don't talk about this." Professor Chaos whispered after glancing at him over his shoulder, eying their proximity before looking around the area.
"No shit. Zap him." Kenny told him, and Chaos looked at him again, eye wide.
"I can't just-" Professor Chaos started, but Kenny cut him off as the burglar grew even closer, gun reloading.
"Zap him before he fucking kills us." Kenny demanded a bit too harshly, but damnit they needed to get out of here, he'd fucking known something was off. The gunfire started again, the glass above them shattering down onto them, and Kenny heard the shooter start running, "Chaos, fucking do it!"
Electricity burst to life in Chaos's left hand, bright, vibrant, and dangerous. The villain barrel rolled around the corner, hand flying up and electricity surging forward in a steady bolt. The criminal fell to the ground, the electricity stopping, but Professor Chaos's hand didn't lower. Kenny got up and ran over to the criminal because holy shit he hadn't meant to zap him that much! He pulled his glove off, along with the brown one underneath it, and he pulled the black mask up, placing his middle and pointer fingers at the base of the neck at the artery. He could feel a pulse, so Chaos hadn't killed someone, which was good.
"He's got a pulse." Kenny informed, looking back at Professor Chaos, but he froze when he saw him.
The kid hadn't moved, hadn't even lowered his arm, and he seemed frozen. He had tears welling up in his eye, mouth trembling a bit, and holy shit he looked terrified. Chaos started shaking a bit more, sparks coming from his hands and appearing in his eye. He tried wiping the tears away with his scarf, reaching it under his visor, but they quickly returned. He wasn't breathing well either, his breaths quick and small, and oh shit he was having a panic attack.
"Shit, Chaos…" Kenny muttered, getting up and walking back over to him, only for Chaos to scoot back from him, glass crunching under his gloves.
"I uh… I got him I think?" Professor Chaos tried to joke, but the smile was forced and wobbly, and he sounded small.
Fuck, he sounded like Karen when she got scared.
"Yeah, you did…" Kenny confirmed, "You ok?"
Professor Chaos pushed himself up, glass crunching again, and he wiped his pants off with trembling hands. Chaos was barely holding it together by now, Kenny could tell. He just had no idea how to calm him down. Any assurances of him doing good or a pat on the back for stopping the bad guy might make him worse- Chaos was trying so hard to be a supervillain, and anything not validating that got him upset.
Kenny knew he was going through some shit- his foster parents were probably abusive as fuck to drive him to this, and who the hell knew if he'd had foster parents in the past that were better or worse. Victor above all else wanted to be taken seriously- to be viewed as an actual supervillain. He wanted to be powerful- to have control over his life, to be able to take some form of action and be able to rebel in some way when he probably isn't able to otherwise. It might be counterproductive, but… Kenny had a feeling he knew how to help him.
"Hey…" Kenny spoke up, gaining his attention, "that was pretty villainous of you."
Professor Chaos blinked at him, clearly surprised, but also confused and curious. He did seem to calm down a bit, though.
"You zapping that guy. I mean, only a villain could pull that off." Kenny mentioned, and Chaos's eye widened a bit, seeming to realize what Kenny was doing.
Chaos's hands went behind his back, the cape rustling behind him giving away that he was fidgeting, and he was silent for a moment before looking away, mumbling, "Thanks, Myst…"
Kenny breathed out an internal sigh of relief, seeing Professor Chaos pulling himself together. It'd worked.
"Think you'll be able to do that again if you need to? Just tone it down a bit?" Kenny asked, and Chaos looked back at him.
"Y-Yeah… This is the last time we work together on somethin', ok?" Chaos responded, and Kenny smirked.
"We aren't. As far as I'm concerned, this was your break-in." Kenny reassured, and Professor Chaos smiled a little.
"Drat, foiled again…" Kenny swore to fuck if that was a pun because he used to have a tinfoil costume… "Where uh… where'd your friends go?"
"They're not my- oh shit where did they go?" Kenny's eyes widened, remembering seeing them run off, and he had no idea where the fuck they were, "I swear to fuck if they're doing something stupid…"
"They're what- fourth graders?" Professor Chaos questioned, and Kenny nodded in confirmation, "What could they get into?"
Kenny gave him a flat look, ". . . We're both fourth graders, idiot. You're a Doctor Doom knockoff who gets off on pranking people, and I'm Batman on a budget."
". . . Uh oh." Professor Chaos muttered, realization seeming to set in, and the two of them took off in different directions.
Kenny took off running, eyes scanning for any signs of his friends or the burglars. He wasn't sure where they would hide- if there was a cafeteria Cartman would probably bolt there to stuff his mouth so he didn't die on an empty stomach, Kyle would probably be more strategic, but then again, anyone would be. Kenny had never been here, he didn't know what good places to hide were, but maybe he didn't need to. Kenny skidded to a stop, looking around before listening, and he heard small feet shuffling on the ground- well, not small, but his size, and he headed towards the sound.
Bullets whizzed past his head, and he dropped down, heart pounding because fucking hell he almost got shot again. Kenny dove behind a pillar, hearing the bullets shooting into the material, thankfully not going through, and Kenny braced himself to lunge to a better hiding spot. He heard a male grunt, and he peeked around to see a large pillow hit the bastard in the face, Stan and Tolkien nearby on the other side of the exhibit with another pillow ready. Kenny lunged forward as the criminal grabbed the pillow, punching him right in the face once it was exposed, and he punched him hard. Blood got on his green gloves, and the burglar fell, out cold.
Kenny looked up at Tolkien and Stan, walking over to the two of them and whispering, "Are you two ok?"
"Yeah, I think so." Tolkien nodded, "But we got separated from the others."
"I'm sure Chaos will find them, but just in case, we should get moving." Kenny said.
"You trust Professor Chaos to help them?" Stan asked, and Kenny hesitated before nodding a bit.
"Chaos doesn't kill people- he doesn't even like hurting them. Tonight was the first time he's purposely used his powers on someone, and it was because it was life or death. He's… do not say this to his face, but he's not that bad. He won't steal, he won't physically, actively hurt someone- we've only physically fought once, and for a villain, he's got a heart. He won't let someone die." Kenny answered.
"Yeah, he did save that highschool…" Stan thought out loud.
"He did, just don't mention that to him." Kenny said, "He hates when it's mentioned."
"Why?" Tolkien asked, and Kenny sighed.
"Because he is one complicated motherfucker." Was Kenny's exasperated answer.
With that, they started moving again, making their way through the museum. Kenny kept them behind him as he checked areas for Chaos or his other friends, but he didn't find them. The second floor was crawling with burglars by now, and even when Kenny was trying to pick them off, they were bigger than him and not to mention stronger. Still, he was able to take down a few, with Stan or Tolkien using a pillow to blind a lone burglar while Kenny put them in a chokehold from behind until the robber passed out.
Kenny could hear a lot of movement nearby after a few minutes, along with gunshots, and he guided Stan and Tolkien to an open vent upstairs before heading closer, using the second level as a vantage point. He got closer, keeping his steps as silent as he could, and he looked down over the railing. He could see Professor Chaos standing near three unconscious burglars, one closer than the others and clutching his dick and balls in a way that told Kenny he'd just lost his manhood to the force of getting hit by steel armor, and he internally winced.
Professor Chaos seemed out of breath, and Kenny looked down over the balcony, seeing another burglar approaching him. Chaos seemed to notice them too, electricity forming in his hands, but Kenny dropped down onto the criminal, punching the back of his head and knocking him out cold as his face collided full-force with the floor. Kenny pushed himself up and off of the robber, looked up at Professor Chaos, and then back at the three downed burglars.
"Not bad, V." Kenny said, and he saw Kyle, Cartman, and Wendy coming out from behind a corner.
Good, so Chaos had been watching out for them…
"Mysterion! Dude, you should've seen it! Chaos just beat the crap out of that guy!" Kyle exclaimed, pointing at the downed burglar Kenny had seen clutching what was left of his junk while unconscious.
"Seriously?" Kenny asked, the three of them nodding while Professor Chaos's face reddened slightly.
Had Chaos been taking fighting lessons? Is that what he'd been worried about Kenny knowing about?
"Yeah!" Kyle confirmed before looking at Chaos, "Where'd you learn to fight like that?"
Professor Chaos looked off to the side, replying, "Eh, lots of fighting movies."
Having super strength was also probably pretty fucking nice… But the little shit was also probably taking classes to be an even bigger pain in the ass to deal with.
"Fuck, remind me not to leave you unattended for two weeks again." Kenny groaned, and he heard a nearby vent getting loudly kicked open, all of them looking at it as Stan and Tolkien crawled out.
"Shhh!" Kenny and Professor Chaos both shushed them, Stan seeming embarrassed.
"Stan!" Kyle whisper-yelled, running over and hugging him, "Are you ok?"
"Yeah, we were with Mysterion- are you ok?" Stan responded with his own question, Kyle nodding.
"Yeah, Chaos is actually kind of a badass? He just took on three guys at once! I wish you could've seen it!" Kyle confirmed, and Professor Chaos's face reddened a little again, looking more embarrassed than Stan did after loudly kicking the vent open.
"Chaos, you kick my ass, I kick yours." Kenny spoke up, gaining Chaos's attention, who smirked as the flush faded.
"You can try, fire hose." Chaos responded, and Kenny bristled.
"I miss the plum one." Kenny muttered under his breath, and Chaos quietly laughed, hands over his mouth to stifle the sound.
"Which one? Fuckass plum in underwear?" Chaos asked, and Kenny's jaw dropped.
Cartman burst out laughing, and Professor Chaos's face turned red. Kenny had never heard that one, personally, so he'd probably said it to one of his little helpers. Still, holy fucking shit, he knew Chaos was vulgar when he wanted to be but that was a bit unexpected with how casually he'd said it. It was mildly offensive, but it was also admittedly funny as fuck.
"I- . . . Holy shit…" Kenny said, trying not to laugh, "Chaos, what the fuck?"
"I can swear too…" Chaos reminded.
"Not denying that." Kenny responded.
"Then what's the problem?" Kenny wanted to punch him, that was the new problem from that attitude, "I'm not the one who needs a diaper instead of underwear!"
Kenny was going to punch him, actually.
"At least I have a cool name instead of 'Professor Chaos'. Seriously, how fucking dorky is that? I might have underwear on over my tights but at least I don't have a gay nickname." Kenny mentioned, and Chaos scoffed, rolling his eye at him.
"Fine, I'll just change it to 'Chaos', how's that?" Professor Chaos responded, crossing his arms.
"Better." Kenny confirmed, "Just to save you the embarrassment."
"Me? Embarrassed?" Chaos snickered, "I'm not the one who needs a diaper instead of underwear!"
"Oh fuck you!" Kenny snapped because that joke was getting fucking old.
It was pissing him off, Chaos knew it, and was capitalizing on it. Like an asshole.
"Guys!" Wendy interrupted them, and the doors slammed open, police lights filling the inside of the building, the cops entering a moment later, drawing their guns.
Kenny got between Chaos and the cops, holding his hands up, saying "Relax, officers, Chaos helped me with these assholes, he's fine."
"Holy shit, it's that superhero from South Park! Listen to him." One of the officers gasped.
Why does everyone in this city fucking know him?!
"There's robbers all around the museum, but I don't think they got what they were looking for." Kenny continued, and he lightly kicked the one he'd knocked out with his foot.
"Ugh…" One of the burglars- seemingly female and Italian- groaned, and the cops and Mysterion were instantly on edge.
"Freeze! Stay on the ground and raise your hands!" One of the cops ordered while another went behind her, removing the black mask.
Kenny recognized her immediately- pale skin, sharp features, brown eyes, and long black hair, and red lips. He'd seen her in the Playboys, and that's when he remembered where he knew the name Emilia Rosa from! . . . He'd masturbated to a museum thief?...
"Emilia Roma? Hey, you were in Playboy, what the hell are you doing robbing a fucking museum?" Kenny demanded.
"Getting back what's rightfully mine!" She snapped.
"You sold it, and you were gonna steal it back?" Chaos asked, and her head shot up to look at him.
"What- How could you possibly know that?" Emilia questioned.
With good reason, too, because how did he know that?
"How could Mysterion know you were in Playboy? Everyone has their ways." Chaos responded as more officers entered, grabbing handcuffs from their belts, and he did have a point in a way.
"It'd be easier if I knew where it fucking was! Hey, watch those cuffs!" Emilia snapped at an officer, "Someone beat me to it!"
"Probably one of your helpers. Move it." The officer grunted, pushing her out of the door.
Kenny glanced back at Chaos before the six of them exiting the building, going to stand off to the side on the sidewalk- which had been mostly vacated. People probably took off once the shooting started, which was reasonable. At least there weren't any casualties.
It was still freezing outside, undeniably so, and Kenny shivered a bit. Fuck it was cold- the costume kept him somewhat warm, but it was still ice cold, like the inside of a freezer. Everything was silent for a moment, Kenny just watching the unconscious burglars get dragged out in cuffs and thrown in the backs of cop cars, and then Chaos broke the silence.
"Huh, all that trouble for this little thing…" Chaos muttered under his breath, Kenny turning to look at him, eyes widening in shock when he saw the missing pendant from the display- the outline fitting the indent perfectly.
"Wha- Chaos, where did you get that?" Kenny asked, and he tensed as Chaos smirked.
He hadn't… had he? Chaos had said he wouldn't steal, but had that changed? Kenny had pressured him into using his powers on someone, had that- had that made him think stealing was ok? Fuck, had Kenny fucked up with the acknowledgement of Chaos being a villain to calm him down earlier?
"Oh this? From the display case before those guys showed up." Chaos answered, and Kenny paused.
So he hadn't caused Chaos to steal- he'd already done that when Kenny had found him here, but why? Chaos had still said he wouldn't steal, and now here he was, having just stolen a priceless artifact. Why?
". . . You've had that thing the whole time? Isn't that what she was after? How'd you know she'd go after it?" Kenny asked, hoping Chaos had just somehow known and grabbed it to prevent the burglars from getting to it.
"I didn't, I didn't even know they'd try stealing it back." Chaos shrugged, making Kenny pause.
Steal it back? The fuck was that supposed to mean?...
Kenny's jaw dropped, and Chaos continued, "You really need to stop doubting me, Myst. I told you, I'm not a good kid."
So that was what this was about?! Chaos trying once again to prove that he was the damn bad guy?! For fuck's sake…
"Chaos, I get what you're trying to prove here, but this is not the way to do it. Just- Just hand it over, ok?" Kenny requested, slowly walking towards him because fucking hell Chaos didn't actually want to do this.
Chaos, despite Kenny's hope that he would see reason, took a step back, "Nah, I don't think so. I've got my own uses for this thing."
Chaos put the pendant into his jacket, where there was probably a pocket- he'd likely had it in there this whole time, and Kenny had never even suspected it.
"Don't make me take it by force." Kenny warned, and Chaos just took another step back.
"I'd like to see you try." Chaos's hand lit up with electricity, and after a moment of hesitation that Kenny had hoped meant he was reconsidering his actions, Kenny had ultimately been zapped by a bolt of electricity.
It hit him right on the chest where he wasn't armored, the electricity traveling through his body and effectively making him lose his ability to stand up. He fell on his ass, barely catching himself with his hands as he looked up at Chaos, seeing him drop something on the ground, smoke quickly shrouding him. Kenny tried willing himself to get up, but he just couldn't. Fucking electricity- it hadn't been enough to kill him, just to stun him more than a fucking taser could.
"CHAOS, GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!!!" Kenny shouted, voice cracking a bit from pain, reaching an arm up where he saw a glint of steel on the rooftop across the street from the museum.
Trails of purple smoke were trailing from his hand that had to be from the police lights hitting the smoke bomb because there was no other reason for those to be there, especially not that fucking color of purple he'd seen way too many times now. It was from the smoke bomb, it had to be- there was no other reason- lightning suddenly struck where Chaos was standing, a deafening boom of thunder immediately following it.
It shook the ground, streetlights flickering and buzzing but not bursting, and everyone ducked down to the ground with their hands over their ears- even the police officers had. Kenny finally managed to regain his footing, his legs wobbly and his body still buzzing from that damn zap, and he glared up at the rooftop.
God fucking damnit, Chaos! Why the fuck do you have to be such a fucking idiot?!
"Holy shit… did he just teleport?..." Kyle spoke up, voice trembling a little.
"I… I think so…" Stan nodded.
"Dude, Mysterion- Chaos told us to ask you if he had powers or not- was that- did he just…?" Kyle trailed off, seeming speechless.
"Yeah… Yeah he fucking did…" Kenny sighed, gruff voice still cracking a bit from the pain of the electricity, not looking away from the rooftop.
"Holy shit… There's an actual supervillain…" Tolkien muttered, "I… Mysterion, are you ok?"
"Yeah, I've had much worse…" Kenny answered, rubbing his chest, "Just… let's get you back to your hotel, I gotta get back to South Park before he does something worse."
"Has he ever done anything like this before?" Wendy asked, and Kenny shook his head no.
"No, this is new… This is very fucking new…" Kenny replied, eyes narrowing a bit, "And very bad."
Fuck, this was a mess… Victor, what the fuck are you doing?...
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AO3
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