So, about 3 weeks ago I went to my home town and I saw this guy I've been into for far too long. We've been friends for a long time but he changed over the last summer and I stopped talking, it wasn't a fight or anything. I guess his hormones were wild or something because he's normal and himself again. But yeah, after seeing him I sent this message to my friend Marta from Poland where I was just ranting about him and when I read it I realized how cheesy I sound. While she, on the other hand, says it's not cheesy and we made a deal I'll just post it here and we'll see what people will tell. I corrected it a little bit, just grammar errors and stuff because it was a mess when I was writing it after I got back at 3 am.
So, if you have time..read my stupid rant. :P
"I just got home, took off my make up and oh my God, it was better than I expected. We talked about everything and our conversation reminded me how similar our thoughts are. And he told me some beautiful things, that I'm great, smart and stuff like that...but it was all friendly, and I honestly like it better this way because we haven't talked properly for 8 months. And I really thought it'd be awkward when we meet again but it was like we've been talking all this time...and now I'm even more sure I’m totally into him. We agree on so many things like I don't agree with anyone else, and that's the beauty of it. I don't know, but...I'm really happy and I know that our relationship will continue to grow because I feel we can tell each other anything without worrying that we'll be judged. I mean, even if we stay only friends I'd be happy because it's really calming to know I haven't lost someone I have such a connection with
So yeah, tonight was more of a talking type of meeting but I don't complain at all. On contrary, I'm thrilled we haven't lost each other and I can assure you I'll continue to try for our friendship to grow on another level and I don't mean not so friendly way, but at least like best friends because I feel he really understands me on this level nobody does and me being happy right now would be an understatement! I won't feel awkward to write him or call him anymore like I did in the past 8 months. We are ourselves again. And I'm the happiest girl on the planet to have my friend and the boy I honestly do love back in my life.
Maybe it's not what you expected, kiss and all, but I feel this way is better and more natural since we haven't been talking for a while...and now, now it's all back...and I'm so excited to see what the future brings for our friendship or maybe, just maybe relationship.
But I swear, the way he looked at me tonight...I could see he feels the same ( I mean in a friendly way) For example, our friends came after we've been alone for about 2 hours and when he looked at me I could tell what he's telling me and I don't feel like I'm over-doing it or anything, I really feel like we brought our connection back. He's wonderful and now this conversation, was just a reminder why I like him this much.
It's not about the way he looks, it's about the way he makes me feel, and that's the feeling of comfort which came back the second we started talking. We were so comfortable around each other, we told each other jokes but we also talked about some important things….aaand, yes..I'm soooo happy, Marta. I feel we're back on track and I'm not going to let him go, not until I feel he doesn't feel comfortable and relaxed around me anymore."
