so this gif set + commentary
i have always felt insanely guilty about the way Imani’s Virmire mission goes in large part because of how fandom has always treated Ashley so despicably and how much deranged misogynistic (and racist, lbr) glee so many people get from making her die there, but also because I just genuinely love her as a character and wish she got so much more in canon (esp. in 3, her content is ridiculously sparse compared to Kaidan’s)
I never wanted to be yet another asshole who just thoughtlessly kills Ashley off for spurious reasons, which is why I’ve always taken great care in talking about it wrt to the context of Imani’s story, that it was purely a tactical decision, “deadly calculus” for the sake of the mission. Kaidan was on the bomb and that was the objective. Imani’s a tactician before anything else and making risky calls on the spot is her Thing as a soldier. it literally had nothing to do with Imani’s feelings for Kaidan because she was in love with Ashley too. That’s what made it hurt so badly, and Imani has been grieving for years, keeping it bottled up inside (the nightmares she had during the Reaper War were 100% Mindoir PTSD and re-living Ashley’s death).
y’all know I have never had any particular compunction about canon when it gets in the way of the story I want to tell, even when it comes to ignoring deaths--I mean Haurche and Ysayle obviously but even before then, both Marisol’s siblings survived the escape from Lothering and everyone made it out of the Fade alive after a battle royale with the nightmare beast. Everybody Lives is like my calling card at this point
but Virmire is the one exception to that and has always felt somewhat sacrosanct to me. I know that originally they intended to have a signature Bioware Third Option(tm) where Shepard could save them both, and it is very much in character for Imani to go “screw this, I’m finding another way”--she is Paragon of Paragons and saving everyone is always her MO, I mean even in game she had 0 colonist casualties in Zhu’s Hope and saved every single scientist on the special Paragon mission on Chohe. But Virmire is one of the very rare times I thought a canon death in a game worked well--for the reasons in the gifset certainly, but also from Kaidan’s POV in Imani’s ‘verse because he has some pretty severe survivor’s guilt over it, wondering if he wasn’t saved just because he was the Commander’s boyfriend and feeling like he didn’t deserve it and blaming himself for putting Imani in that position to begin with, seeing how she’s silently suffered over it
and I look at the very astute commentary on that gifset and wonder if Imani’s story wouldn’t be much less compelling if she somehow managed to save them both. having even just 1 time where she couldn’t save everybody, given what happens later on--it makes the Suicide Mission that much more poignant, because her determination to save the crew and make sure her entire team got out alive, even from beyond a relay literally no one has survived a trip through is that much more urgent and intense because of the loss on Virmire. Imani refused to let anyone under her command die again, and the Omega-4 Relay was her personal redemption for that (even though no one blamed her for what happened on Virmire in any way).
how would it change the character arc for Ashley and Kaidan if they were both alive and not having to cope with survivor’s guilt? Especially Ashley, given the points that were brought up about her self-esteem struggles, not feeling like she was good enough? I don’t see how it’s as effective tbh.
but I also want the three of them to kiss once Kaidan’s head is finally out of his ass about polyamory