Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love
This is so fucking cute, I absolutely love this! Thank you for including me! 🥺
had i the heavens - Wolf 359
This is by far the best SI-5 work I've written, imo. There is not a single chapter of this I don't love. I do, however, think tread softly is my favourite chapter. There's something sooo maddening about how earnest they are with each other and how, like. Fleeting it feels. I really wanted to pursue the feeling of transience in this work, because I feel that the SI-5's opportunities to have these moments of vulnerability are incredibly rare. I think tread softly does this the best, with have only my dreams as a close second.
I really don't have loads to say about this one, it's just. A good fic.
beds that are blood, love that is filth - Wolf 359
Man, this is. The most on-brand thing I have ever written, of course it's going on the list. I don't talk about this loads online about this, but the Atreus household is my absolute favourite bloodline in Greek myth. No one does tragedy like they do. I wrote this fic almost immediately after finishing Anne Carson's translation of Elektra at, like. 1AM. And it really shows.
I think there is a lot to be said in terms of parallels between Maxwell and Elektra. I think they both use their words like tools, I think they're both intelligent, I think they're both very lonely. This doesn't come up in this particular fic a lot, but I do think about the difference between Kepcobi and Kepcobiwell, and how, like. Maxwell is in this kind of liminal space between friend and lover. Which, to be fair, I think she prefers. The aro/ace-ness of it all. But Kepcobi has always read strictly romantic to me. And I think there's a concreteness there that Maxwell is envious of, especially with Jacobi gone. I think Jacobi is the load-bearing point in their relationship, which is why Maxwell grows to resent Kepler over the course of this fic. Because if she's this upset and Jacobi was ""only a friend"" then why the fuck isn't Kepler screaming?
Another image that's kinda inherent to both the Atreus household and the SI-5 is blood and violence. At the time of writing this, I was taking a paper on Alexander the Great, and, in connection with this, I had just learned about sucking chest wounds. Horrific stuff! But I imagined this is how Jacobi died, rather than being shot in the head, because it informed a lot of lungs imagery in this fic.
bloody up my hands - Catholicism/Christian Tradition & Folklore
I think about how lonely it must be to be a Saint a lot. I think about divinity and isolation a lot. I wrote this because I was doing some reading on Christian folklore for my Classics class, and there was a particular medieval text that described Saint George's martyrdom in a way that was incredibly homoerotic. to me.
I will say, this is probably a very sacrilegious way of engaging with this narrative. Not because of the homosexuality, but because I really went ahead and gave the angel a crisis of faith. I think there's something very beautiful about the indomitable nature of the human spirit, and I think anything as inhuman as an angel would really admire it. I think it would make anyone want to span the gap between themselves and personhood. A lot of this is reaching without wanting to say anything. I think Michael wants terribly and is unable to say it. I think George wants terribly but doesn't feel it's right to admit that to something as monstrous and divine as an angel. There are rules to these things.
I really wanted the culmination of this relationship to feel hollow for that reason. I wanted them both to be haunted by the impermanence of it. I think it's a really lonely thing to have someone but know that you can't put your heart into it, for whatever reason. I think it's a very queer experience.
Tell Me, How Does It Feel (With My Teeth in Your Heart) - Dimension 20/Fantasy High
This is by far my most popular fic. One of the benefits of posting in a fandom that isn't quiet/nonexistent, I suppose! This, like beds that are blood, was written in the middle of the night on a scrap piece of paper. I think it still holds a lot of the frenetic, fast-paced energy.
This fic was the product of me thinking about how weird and toxic and constrained Fabian and his father's relationship is, and heteronormativity as a whole. To my knowledge, Fabian and Bill's relationship does improve significantly in Sophomore Year (which I haven't watched), but I think there is something to be said about, like. Being a teenager and creating friction in your relationships with your parents due to imagined or real pressure they put on you. I think Fabaian imagines a lot of the pressure that Bill puts on him, in terms of. I think Fabian was naturally good at the things Bill was, and when Bill was proud of him, he was like. "Oh, this is the only way to make him proud," where that very much wasn't the case. I think this was trying to be an exploration of how Fabian grapples with the position he's put himself in, in terms of. Being his father's son and how he relates to that.
I would like to clarify that, like. I don't intend for any of the ships in this fic to be anything but one-sided. Like. Riz is aro/ace, and while I do believe that Riz and Fabian could form a qpr, I just don't think it's Riz's style. I really don't want to erase Riz's aro-ness. As an aro person myself, I'm keenly aware of how frustrating that shit is.
MISE EN SCENE - DnD/Aetheria Campaign
Listen. I knew the second I posted this there was absolutely no market for this. HOWEVER. The extent to which dnd dominates my thoughts is. Frankly embarrassing. My brainrot for this particular campaign (not even my in-session notes, just my character meta and fics) is. Something like 81k. When I say Jayce and Meda live rent free in my mind, I mean it. I cannot stop thinking about them or talking about them to literally anyone who will listen to me. If you're into toxic exes who are still in love with each other, ooh boy is this for you! Consider this work a primer on these two characters.
This fic is a series of one-shot/script format type dealies, most of which I wrote on a plane coming back from a Billie Eilish concert. I rec this one in part because, as I say, they live rent free in my head, and also because I am really proud of the script formatting in these ones. Having the space to focus on dialogue but also get really into Meda's head is something that is sooo special to me.
I do plan on updating this fic with more conversations, including an extraordinarily awkward talk between Meda and her kids about Jayce, a not-break up with Meda and her goddess, and Sending shenanigans. So, like. If you're interested in any of that crunch, I'll get around to it. Eventually. I also intend on posting a lot more Meda/Jayce content (mostly angsty smut, if I'm honest) just because I need to get it out of my head.
Anyways! That's my five. This ended up taking way longer than I thought it would because I have. A lot of thoughts on all of these, apparently. Hope you don't mind me taking the opportunity to talk themes and motifs in my work 😅
