#imperfect memes

[snootlessimperfectworld]

Some Incorrect Quotes

Warning: language, brief mentions of suicidal thoughts, and occasionally sexual themes

I've been working on the last 2 of the worldbuilding posts and the characters, but I'm pretty stressed since I have an interview for a new job in about 2 hours, so instead y'all are gonna get some incorrect quotes.

Malvo: *talking about something incredibly important* Aten, behind him: *mocking while doing the hand-talking motion*

Some rando: You're mad! Malvo: Mad is a word and you have used it The person: *visible confusion* *gets stabbed*

Maxlar: I'm just a silly, goofy guy! You wouldn't hurt a silly, goofy guy, would you? Malvo: *is fully reared back with a massive book in his hands ready to beat the crap out of him* I desire nothing more than to hit you right now

Aten: Yeah, I'd be pretty fucking pissed too if I had to walk around with a face like that. Malvo, glaring: I only just walked into the room. Aten: And? Bitch

Hades: Someone asked me this morning how I'm holding up since ~the incident~ and I broke down into tears. Maxlar, concerned: What was the incident? Hades: Yesterday someone tripped and spilled hot tea on me. I was so surprised by the event that instead of asking "Are you okay?" or saying "I'm so fucking sorry" I merely shouted at them "Are you fucking sorry?!" Maxlar: Oh my god... Hades: I had to sit with The Council for a bit so they could monitor my sanity. :)

Devon: Dude, did you sleep last night? Maxlar, who very clearly did not: Uh no, I didn't. Devon: Why?? Maxlar: Kinda hard to fall back asleep when you walk into your kitchen for some water at 3am and your literal Demon brother is sitting on your table surrounded by a very strange assortment of things and looks at you with those weird ass glowing eyes only to mumble "Go back to bed" at you. Devon: Did-did you ever find out what he was doing? Maxlar: Nope. Kinda don't wanna know. Devon: That's valid, actually.

Aten: God made me small cause he knew I'd be too powerful if my size rivaled Devon's. Hades: No, he made you small so you'd be easier to keep on a leash. Aten: *blinks in dirty thoughts* Uh, Hades? Troy, walking out of the room: Did NOT need to know that

Malvo: How did you and Maxlar meet? Hades: I lost track of Aten once when we were out. I found him trying to fight some people and Devon was the one holding him back. Malvo: And you allowed the two to befriend you? Hades: I had no choice in the matter. Maxlar had been laughing the entire time, and Aten found him funny. Turns out, we both knew Troy and it has been downhill ever since. Malvo: *wordlessly slides the bottle of wine closer to Hades*

Aten: Everyone's always asking me how I bagged such a baddie. Babes *laughs* I didn't bag shit. Hades: *offended noises* Aten: I kidnapped him :D

Dot: Someone asked me once if Maxlar was bothering me, like as a "Is this guy bothering you, miss?" kind of way. I went with it, cause he was, just not that way, and I recorded him getting dragged by security. Dot: Sometimes Andrea will send me the video back just to tell me she's still laughing over it.

Devon: I'm really proud of Maxlar, ya know? He became a father and he's really matured. Maxlar: *pouring honey into his drink and muttering to himself* Yeah, get in there, you sticky bee sauce. Devon: Can I retract my statement?

Malvo, angry and yelling at Hades: How does one manage to be so intelligent, yet so incredibly stupid? Aten, defending Hades: How does one manage to be such a BITCH? *Aten screaming as Malvo attacks him*

Hades: I don't understand why people are so determined to keep asking me how I'm doing when they really don't want the truth, they're just being polite. Hades: Apparently, answering that question with: "Horribly, honest. The annoying little bitch in my head keeps telling me to kill myself and my best friend is the reason I have responsibilities again." is not appropriate.

Maxlar: I've never understood people that can't stand their wives and use hanging out with friends as an excuse to get away from her. Maxlar: I've always used "spending time with my wife" to get out of hanging out with those weirdos I call friends.

Andrea: You must be pretty proud of your brother for how far he's come. *Maxlar actively doing something silly with his kids* Malvo: Proud is not the word I would use.

Maxlar: Being schizophrenic and the reason for an interdimensional war is pretty fucking wild. *Hades and Malvo both staring in horror* Maxlar: Cause like just this morning I couldn't eat anything cause I was convinced a Death Crawler assassin had broken into the safehouse and poisoned my Pop-Tarts, put them back into the packaging, sealed it with magic, and then vanished. Rationally, yes, I know this is outlandish and totally impossible considering Malvo was in the kitchen the entire time last night, but still! Hades: Oh my god...

Malvo: I am actually grateful Maxlar was able to settle down and start a family, but I do have one question for you. Andrea: What's your question? Malvo: Why?

Aten: I call Hades all sorts of weird names, some of them insults like bitch, and some actual like couple-y pet names. Aten: But last week I called him "Bri'ish" and I think I broke him

Hades: Sometimes I wonder how I would actually react if I screamed into the void and it screamed back. Malvo, calmly flipping through a book: The void's scream back is just an echo of your misery to remind you of your insignificance. Hades: What the fuck-

Troy: Old people, especially humans, like to say shit like "you must be one of them queer people that worships the devil" cause of all my piercings and my dyed hair. Troy: I like to respond with "Yeah, I do be sucking off your sons! Sucking their blood, actually.*takes a long pause* Your son is dead in a ditch somewhere."

Troy: One time, my brother arrested me. He had no reason, he just thought I looked stupid and needed to sit in timeout for a bit. Troy: He's great :D

[snootlessimperfectworld]

Silly Goofy Alignment Charts

No particular order, just as they come. Corny, outdated, just goofy

Key: A- For Aten H- For Hades Purple M- For Maxlar Green M- For Malvo Blue D- For Devon Magenta D- For Dot Yellow C- For Cyrus Dark Blue T- For Troy Gray T- For Titus

More information: Troy and Titus are twin brothers and are vampires. Titus is a normal dude, kinda, and Troy is a feral punk guy. They don't get along much any more. Cyrus is this really cool werewolf dude (he's got the sickest dreads too). Kind of an enigma to his friends, as well. I mentioned briefly about Dot on a post I reblogged from my main

One of the few things Malvo accomplishes when he disappears for long periods of time

Malvo is definitely still an asshole, but more reserved. Yes, he's intentionally somewhat in the evil category. He's a Demon you guys

Maxlar, an actual parent; a child! Aten: NO

Hades is just too anxious to babysit alone, and because Aten cannot be trusted with that job (he's too chaotic, it'd end in arson), he almost never watches the Whishling kiddos. Devon is just better at being the cool uncle than babysitting. Malvo is surprisingly good with kids. This fact breaks my heart :')

Dot and Devon are both smart just not always. Aten is very cunningly smart

Hmm yeah, pretty straightforward.

Malvo's a Demon. If I had Troy, Titus and Cyrus it'd be Cyrus on knows a few recipes, Troy is banned, and Titus made toast once for someone else

Devon and Dot being the biggest sweethearts <3 Malvo aggressively telling someone "Go to therapy" in that neutral yet condescending voice of his just hits different

Titus: *is a cop* His twin brother that would be identical if he wasn't a punk: ROB THE RICH Cyrus is just a cryptid, actually. They affectionately refer to him as their little wolf cryptid

Devon, a big intimidating dude just wanting to be kind, but everyone is afraid of him Hades: *on his last legs of sanity*

Hades: *has crippling anxiety/social anxiety* Malvo: *just simply hates everyone* If I had Troy, Titus, and Cyrus: Troy and Cy are Eat Ass, Suck a Dick, and Sell Drugs. Titus is there with Malvo

Hades: *struggling to run a kingdom in the midst of war* Dot's kindness is often mistaken for her liking them Devon is once again struggling from the cons of Scary Dog Privilege no one wants to talk about

Titus once again being a literal cop. Hades: *on the verge of tears because of this incident* Maxlar showing off his actually good musical skills The BoysTM are supporting him

Something about Aten being labeled as simply "piece of shit" makes me giggle every time I see it

Devon is my himbo and I love him so fucking much Hades experiencing ~trauma~

They all want to be optimists (except Malvo) but they've seen too much/been through too much to be chaotic about it :(

Without Dot because she is the opposite of problematic Maxlar: *is the reason there is an interdimensional war* Hades, Malvo, and Aten: *have some fucked up shit going on in the background*

Aten and Hades are both cold-natured so they almost always have the heat on and have so many blankets that Hades, rather than changing one of those things, just abandons pants. Aten abandons clothes anyways because of his wings and stuff. He's the big spoon :)

Maxlar and Troy being passionately stupid will never not be funny to me. Titus does not give a shit anymore. His fucks are all gone.

Maxlar isn't suicidal by any means but he's had a really fucked up life and he's probably reached a point where his death being confirmed would be a relief. Same with Hades, only he'd say this internally. His outward reaction, as a King, is to say "Give the orders" Troy knows what the word means. He's just a shit.

There's a story here with Cracker Barrel Also, ignore Malvo trying to kill children. Don't worry about it. Devon believes in aliens because "I'm technically an alien, and I believe in myself so there!" Hades believes in the same thing but applies it to Aten "he's technically an alien and I believe in him" Dot is a secret cryptid hunter