WE BACK BABYYY! I am so excited for you guys to read this chapter, because some amazing and adorable things happen here! Tagging @cosmicrealmofkissteria and @tanookiroxx. I won’t further waste your time, so read on and ENJOY!
In which old insecurities arise in Tomaziel, and there’s only one person he wants to see to talk about it.
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The days passed by, until another week had come and gone. Tomaziel found himself enjoying the days. The meetings were all going smoothly, or at least without many complications or arguments breaking out, the preparations for the farewell ball were well underway, and best of all, he’d slowly begun spending most of his free time with Starchild.
They would eat together, walk through the Garden Dome together, or sit in the library and read, or simply just sit and talk. It felt so easy to talk to Starchild. There was just something so open and inviting about him. And he was incredibly flattered that Starchild felt the same way about him, enough that he could tell him he wanted to go slowly.
Admittedly, Tomaziel had been seriously considering throwing his book aside and kissing Starchild right there in the library before he said something. Even after agreeing to take things slow, he still felt the urge, sometimes at the worst of moments. The urge had struck during a meeting of all places, completely out of nowhere, and suddenly his head was filled with the image of springing to his feet and passionately kissing Starchild right there in front of the Council members and Senators. But he held himself back, reminding himself that he would kiss Starchild when Starchild was ready for it. A simple kiss on the cheek was enough for now. Besides, no one knew of the two of them yet.
Just seeing Starchild was enough to put Tomaziel in a better mood. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see Starchild every moment of every day; they were both incredibly busy. Starchild additionally would sometimes say he wanted to be alone, and even if it disappointed him a little, Tomaziel let him have the space he wanted. He would always seek Tomaziel out eventually, and he would take his hand and perhaps kiss his cheek and every time give him a smile that took Tomaziel’s breath away.
This time around, however, Tomaziel was the one seeking Starchild out.
He wandered the halls, almost aimlessly as he tried to find him, and the entire time his memory relentlessly replayed the events of earlier that day—of that nobleman and his haughty look, and the way he had looked at Tomaziel like he was dirt scraped off the bottom of his shoe, and the words he’d said.
“What I do is none of your business, commoner. Go off and rejoin the rabble, where you belong.”
“Commoner”… he hadn’t been called that in so long. It was no secret that Tomaziel hadn’t relied on nepotism to get to where he was; he had worked hard for his position. Most had gotten to the point where they didn’t care anymore, but some… some people just couldn’t let it go that a man who wasn’t a noble was aide to the King himself. And this man had been one of them. He’d practically spat the word in his face.
And now, here he was, seeking out Starchild for no reason at all, other than that he felt the urgent need to see him.
Finally, up ahead, he caught sight of a familiar head of black hair. There was Starchild, walking down the hallway with the Elder. Was he interrupting something? Probably something not fit for a member of the rabble to hear…
His feet still carried him forward anyway, until he was right behind them. “Excuse me,”
The two of them turned around, and Tomaziel saw a happy look flit across Starchild’s face. “Yes, Tomaziel?” the Elder asked. “Is there anything you need?”
“I…” He lowered his head respectfully. “My apologies for interrupting, Elder. But I… I needed to ask him something.”
By some divine luck, Starchild looked at him for a moment, then turned to the Elder. “Do you mind if we continued our conversation later?”
“No, of course not,” the Elder responded. “We will talk later.” She nodded to Tomaziel. “It is good to see you, Tomaziel.”
Tomaziel inclined his head to her.
Once the Elder had walked off, Starchild moved them both against the nearby wall, smiling at him. And despite everything, Tomaziel’s heart still lightened at the sight of it. “I thought we were going to meet later. Not that I mind, but what’s this all about?”
Tomaziel forced himself to smile back. “No reason. I just wanted to see you.”
“You’re so sweet.” Starchild swiftly leaned in and kissed his cheek. “How has your day been?”
“Fine…”
A horrible thought suddenly occurred to him—did Starchild know of his background? Did he consider him lower class? Had he ever thought less of him because he wasn’t royalty, or even nobility? His heart twisted painfully at the possibility. Anyone else, he could perhaps be all right with. But not Starchild. Just the possibility of the person he’d fallen for considering him a lowly commoner was making his heart crack in two.
Starchild looked at him inquisitively. “Is everything all right?”
Tomaziel bit the inside of his lip and wondered if it was worth saying anything. “Yes,” he eventually replied, nodding his head. “I’m fine.”
A bit of a frown appeared. “Are you sure? It seems as if something is bothering you.”
Was it worth it in the end to keep insisting he was all right? As if sensing his thoughts, Starchild reached out to touch his hand. “You can tell me, whatever it is,”
When Tomaziel glanced up and saw the gentle look on his face… well, he couldn’t resist that. He sighed and took hold of the hand. “Something is bothering me…”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I… I don’t know. It’s silly.”
Starchild squeezed his hand. “If it’s bothering you, it can’t be all that silly,”
Tomaziel looked up at him again. “You really wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not,”
After a moment, Tomaziel nodded. “Follow me; I would rather talk in private.”
-JENDELL-
Starchild followed behind him as he led him down the hallway and turned many times. Tomaziel’s heart began to pound as they got closer to their destination, until finally they came to the right door. He opened it and went inside, and let Starchild enter before closing it behind them.
Starchild looked around at the simply furnished chambers. “Are these your chambers?”
How did he know? “Yes, they are. How did you know?”
He smiled slightly at Tomaziel. “You don’t seem like the type to extravagantly decorate your living quarters,”
A faint blush came to Tomaziel’s face. “Oh…”
“It’s all right; I like them. They’re very you.” Starchild shifted to clasp his hands behind his back. “Now, tell me what is bothering you.”
Tomaziel looked up at him apprehensively. “You… won’t think it’s silly, will you?”
“I promise you I won’t,”
He believed him… Tomaziel took a deep breath, blew it out, and began. “Earlier today, I ran into a nobleman, that I knew because we went to the same finishing school. He… Well, he was berating this poor servant girl for making some mistake, so I stepped in to defend her. And he recognized me, and…” He swallowed roughly as he remembered the look on the man’s face. “He gave me this… look, like I was something scraped off the bottom of his shoe. And he said… He called me a commoner, and told me to go rejoin the rabble, where I belong.”
A frown slowly appeared on Starchild’s face and his eyebrows knit together. “Why would he say something like that to you?”
Here goes… no turning back now. “Because… I don’t come from a noble family. We have wealth, yes, but we aren’t nobility. In school, sometimes I would be looked down upon for not being from an old wealth family. And I know I shouldn’t care what others think of me—I worked hard, and I earned my position. But I… I haven’t heard someone insult me for it in so long that it just… hurt.” He averted his gaze to the floor of his room.
“Tomaziel…” Starchild reached out and took hold of his hands. “I’m sorry it hurt you. I understand—sometimes old pains can hurt even when you think you have moved past them.”
Tomaziel couldn’t help glancing up at him for a brief moment before flicking his eyes back to the floor. “Have you… Have you ever thought… less of me, because I’m not a noble?” He dreaded hearing the answer even as he asked the question. If Starchild said yes… he would be devastated.
“No,” Starchild squeezed his hands. “Tomaziel, look at me.” Tomaziel looked up to find him gazing at him sympathetically. “I have never thought less of you. To be honest, I didn’t even know. But even if I did, it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. You are kind and compassionate, and you care about others; you are patient, willing to accept people for who they are; you work so hard and are so dedicated to what you do. I like you just as you are.”
Tomaziel’s heart beat faster at his words. “You really don’t care?”
A small, gentle smile came to Starchild’s face as he shook his head. “I don’t care.” He drew Tomaziel into a hug. “I wouldn’t care if you were the poorest man in Jendell. I like you for who you are; your family’s standing doesn’t matter to me.”
Tomaziel laid his head on Starchild’s shoulder, savoring the embrace. When he pulled away, Starchild gave him another smile. “Do you feel better now?”
Tomaziel couldn’t help taking in the sight of him for a moment. This man, who had abandoned what he was doing so he could give Tomaziel comfort… did he even know how beautiful he was? Inside and out?
He kept his hold on Starchild’s arms. They hadn’t fully pulled away from each other, so their arms were still linked together from the embrace. “I do. Thank you; you didn’t have to listen.”
“Yes, I did,” Starchild immediately replied. “I care about you. I… I really do like you.”
“So do I,”
The two of them fell silent, simply staring at each other. Starchild’s head was tilted slightly, like he was contemplating something.
And Tomaziel would never be sure of who moved first. But then they both leaned forwards and their lips met in a kiss.
Tomaziel’s eyes slipped closed. He could feel the Spark as it passed between him and Starchild. It wasn’t a deep, passionate kiss, rather a simple, sweet one, but it still sent Tomaziel’s heart racing. Starchild’s lips were soft and smooth, and they seemed to fit perfectly against his own. For one wild moment, he felt like the world was finally perfect, like the one piece he hadn’t even noticed was missing had finally fallen into place. Right was the only way to describe it—it felt incredibly right to kiss Starchild.
When Tomaziel finally pulled away for air, it was incredibly reluctantly. Starchild’s eyes were still closed, and he watched as they slowly fluttered open to look at him. There was a look of slight surprise on his face, like he was in deep thought.
Tomaziel’s heart began to pound. Had they kissed too soon? “I… Was that too soon? I know you wanted to wait to do that, but…” he trailed off.
After a moment, Starchild shook his head. “No… It wasn’t too soon.” A smile came to his face. “I think that was perfect.”
He felt the urge to laugh, and a laugh did burst out of him. “Good… because I really enjoyed that.”
Starchild laughed, and it was like music to Tomaziel’s ears. “So did I,”
He leaned in and kissed him again, softly and gently; Tomaziel happily reciprocated, letting his eyes slip closed again. The rest of the world melted away, until it was just him and Starchild, kissing in his chambers. And for some reason, Tomaziel felt like it was meant to be this way.
-JENDELL-
That night as he got into bed, Starchild sat there for a moment and stared at his knees. His hand lifted to idly graze his lips, and a giddy smile appeared on his face. He had kissed Tomaziel today. He hadn’t expected it to happen at all, but it did. He could still remember feeling the electricity as it sparked against his lips. He remembered how his heart raced. Tomaziel’s lips were incredibly soft, slightly chapped, but oh so gentle. They seemed to fit perfectly against his.
Starchild fell back onto the mattress and stared up at the ceiling as uncontrollable giggling took over. Oh, even if this went nowhere, even if they failed, even if nothing came of this relationship, he was going to remember that moment for the rest of his life.
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