#impressions post

[sieben9]

just saw “california solo“

Hey, @charmedrumbelle, I watched it!

And because this is very obviously habit-forming, I also wrote up my overall impressions under the cut. (I should go watch a movie soon and not do that, just to prove to myself that I can...)

OK, first of all, this film is soooo far off my usual fare that it's basically on a different continent. No action, no mystery, no SF/F and no romance. So that obviously coloured my impression, as did the fact that I had no firm frame of reference for direction of the story.

That said, I never got distracted or bored while watching, and sort-of enjoyed myself throughout the whole film. Which, I'll admit, is probably at least 60% Robert Carlyle's fault. He's goooood. (Also, yes, gorgeous. You guys weren't exaggerating. (And he can siiing, oh my god, he can sing, I am in love)) I didn't much like Lachlan in the beginning, but I was engaged and interested to see what would happen to him. Actually a pretty good example of how "likeable" and "engaging" (or, for that matter, "sympathetic") don't have to be synonymous. And by the end, of course, my heart broke for him a little, even though I was left with the impression that him going "home" could be good for him in the long run. (I may be bringing some baggage to that topic, so I'll shut up now)

The ending itself was a bit... abrupt, to be honest, since I'm used to being eased out of a story, but it fit the mood of the film. I like to think that the answer to that last question is "Hell if I know (but I could be)"

[nora-reads-homestuck]

A6A1 Impressions

Hey all! I’m back with my impressions from Act 6 Act 1. This one will necessarily be a bit shorter than previous impressions posts, but the plus side is that I’ll be doing more of them, one for each Act Act! (God, that feels weird to say. Like... I’m a Martian or something.) Anyway, here goes!

The Characters:

We didn’t see any of the original, pre-Scratch human kids or the trolls we know and love this Act Act. However, we met some new human kids who are all their own brand of weird/annoying/lovable!

Jane: Jane, Jane, Janey Jane. Strangely, though they have almost nothing to do with each other at this point, I’m getting some of the same feelings toward her as I got for Rose all through Acts 4 and 5. A bit of readerly frustration that she’s not doing or thinking the things I know she needs to in order to be truly successful at the game, if for different reasons. Rose was overconfident, a loner, but Jane is stubbornly (but pretty justifiedly, let’s be honest) refusing to take anything she hears at face value. Batterwitch? Couldn’t be. Entering a game to go to a new world? Malarkey. I think it stems from the fact that, all the way back in Act 1, it would have seemed just as improbable, but I’m getting to this having come off Act 5, and I know it all to be true. And Jane can’t be blamed for wanting to continue living in her perfect world, where she’s the heiress and her friends’ problems can’t touch her! I’m a bit worried that she might not take it in stride when she does get dumped into Sburb, and finds out everything she’s been hearing is true. She’s... a bit of a princess. But that’s alright; I still like her a lot!

Jake: Strangely, I’m still not sure what to make of Jake. On the surface level, he’s kind of ditzy, perpetually harangued, loves guns and adventure, indiscriminate in his movie tastes, and prone to outdated slang like Jane (obviously a joke in reference to the fact that his alt self grew up in the 1910′s and 20′s). Seems like there ought to be plenty to work with there. However... none of that really equates to a deeper personality. Is he insecure like Tavros? Overconfident, like Eridan? What do all the Lord English parallels mean? Will be become Lord English eventually? Mystery after mystery. I guess that’s not so unusual seeing how thinly Hussie strung tidbits about Jade, but still, I feel like it’s not enough to go on to really get a solid impression of his character. Hopefully we’ll get more later!

LittleLonde: BE STILL MY HEART. There have been plenty of Homestuck characters it’s taken me a while to warm up to, but LittleLonde is not one of them. She’s so sweet and cheery, encouraging her friends without harassing them, even if she’s worryingly drunk. (Seriously, what is UP with Rose allowing that to happen.) She’s also fucking adorable. I am a bit concerned that my assessment of her as a Cassandra character is accurate, and the Batterwitch really is poised to exploit the inevitability of them entering the game. LittleLonde, like Bro, seems to know a whole lot on the subject, and I wonder where that knowledge comes from. Rose, UU, or both? TipsyGnostalgic would seem to be quite the appropriate chumhandle.

Bro: Bro is for sure the kid we’ve heard the least from, and that’s not surprising, given how elusive his pre-Scratch older self was. Judging by the scant exposure I’ve had to him so far, he’s a narcissistic, dry, rude, but highly intelligent roboticist/AI programmer with ill-concealed pants feelings for Jake. He even claimed that he’s going to be the one pulling the strings behind this session, and that Jane will be a figurehead of a leader. (I’ve got my popcorn ready and waiting for THAT one to be subverted.) Despite my distaste for his asshattery, I think he does genuinely care for Jane, and Jake on more than a carnal level. He’s just going about expressing that affection in all the wrong ways. Constantly berating them that they need to change their behavior? Harassing Jake with a robot? Proooobably not the best way to go about things. We’ve yet to see him interact with LittleLonde, and I wonder what he thinks she needs to be “”more like””. We’ve also yet to see him speak with mystery!troll, though I’m almost certain they must be in contact. Like LittleLonde, he knows a lot of things about the game he shouldn’t, by rights.

UU: We haven’t seen all that much of her, just a conversation here and there, and some hands, but I like my impression of her! She seems kind and cheery, encouraging her human friends instead of berating them like Karkat and co. I still wonder what session she’s from, since she’s confirmed she’s definitely a (Prospit) player. Could she have been some... like... rogue player from the pre-Scratch troll session? I still feel like that’s at least somewhat likely. Hopefully we’ll find out!

On Classpects:

We haven’t seen anything but the vaguest of hints at classpects this time around, though we have two kids’ confirmed: Jane is the Maid of Life, and Jake is the Page of Hope.

We haven’t seen Jane do anything really Life-y yet, but Feferi was the last Hero of Life, and they do share some similarities. Both are heiresses to the Batterwitch, if in completely different ways. Aradia was the last Maid, and the only similarity I can think of there is the fedora. So what will a Maid of Life be like in practice? We still don’t know what Life powers actually do, since Feferi never made it to god tier, but I think it’s safe to be assume she’ll be serving her other players as some kind of healer. I’m guessing her role is meant to be embraced, and that she won’t have much trouble doing this.

Jake is the Page of Hope, and though he hasn’t demonstrated any powers yet, we’ve seen a lot of evidence of... hopefulness in him. He ‘believes in people’, and in fact believes a little too easily, in Bro’s opinion. This is in stark contrast to Eridan, who seemed to have trouble believing in anything but his own damn self. He also shares a thing or two with Tavros, the other Page, like his affinity for tinkerbulls, and a hankering for... er... blue women. I’m not sure whether I think this role is one meant to be embraced or overcome. Bro would have him overcome it, but I don’t think I trust his judgment on what’s best here. Tavros was meant to embrace his role and failed hard at it, so my hope (hah) is that Jake truly embraces his classpect and becomes everything Tavros wasn’t.

Do I have any predictions on LittleLonde and Bro’s classes? I don’t think I have anything too specific yet, although if I had to guess, LittleLonde will be encouraged to embrace her classpect, and Bro will be encouraged to overcome his. For Bro, maybe... Heir? That seems to be about letting go of what you think you know. Prince might fit too, since my current understanding is that it’s about ruling over things, and he claims he’s going to be the one running their session. Bard? I don’t think I ever learned what that class really does. For LittleLonde, I’m not sure about a class, but I’m leaning toward either Blood or Heart as an aspect. She’s so lovable, which could either make her the lifeblood of the team like Karkat was to his, or maybe her unrequited romantic inclinations give her more in common with Nepeta. Hmm, Doom might fit her as well, since she’s got so many negative predictions about the Batterwitch and what’s going to happen when they enter the game. Anyway, that’s about all I’ve got!

The Story:

To start this one off, let’s go back to my predictions for Act 6 and catalogue all the things I got hilariously wrong:

The post-scratch players will live on a vastly different Earth, wherein human culture is much more violent. There will be a new First Guardian which will have steered civilization much like Doc Scratch did, if in fact he isn’t actually the new FG himself.

I’m not sure whether to call this one debunked or not. HIC is all but confirmed to be the new First Guardian of Earth, and while she clearly does have her clutches in some things (Supreme Court Justice Guy Fieri???) this Earth is a lot less dystopian than I was expecting. Assassinations aside, Jane appears to be a pretty normal girl with a pretty normal upbringing. Dave seems to have made it big with SBaHJ movies, and everything’s going pretty well there. Jade is dead as Grandpa was pre-Scratch, and we’ve yet to learn why (something to do with the house tower being asploded?), but nonetheless Jake seems to be getting along just fine. Rose is doing a shit job of keeping LittleLonde out of the liquor cabinet, but still. Not exactly the Hunger Games situation I was expecting.

The post-scratch players’ personalities will resemble the hints we’ve seen through the original kids’ unreliable narrations. Young!Mom will actually be into wizards, young!Bro will be genuinely fucked up and completely unironic about his bizarre interests, young!Nanna will be… basically like Nannasprite, all about pranks and baking, and young!Grandpa will love fighting and… Weekend at Bernie’s.

Ok, well, it turns out their personalities are a little more complicated than that, but this one was basically a gimme.

We will find out that the original guardians somehow absorbed some of their younger post-Scratch selves’ memories, and that’s why they insist on strifing with the kids to train them up, and why Bro stabs Beat Mesa.

This one still seems plausible, if paradoxical, because Dave and Rose have PROBABLY been passing on game info to young Bro and LittleLonde. Them, and UU...

Something is going to go really, really wrong with the timeline, and John will have to repair it with Dave’s help, and that’s why we see those floating arms everywhere. Maybe he’s affecting all the events that lead to Lord English arriving?

Yet to be seen...

Since the Furthest Ring is session-agnostic, they’ll use the map the horrorterrors helpfully provided Dave to navigate the meteor to the post-Scratch human session. Of course, this doesn’t answer the question of how John and Jade will get there! Maybe they’ll somehow meet up beforehand?

Next act, maybe?

When the kids and trolls enter the new, post-Scratch session, it COULD end up a reverse of the trolls’ situation, where they thought they were on separate teams but were in fact working toward the same goal. What if it looks like they have to team up with the post-Scratch kids, but it’s actually a competition or a race to see which group of players can finish the game? Or what if the new human kids are actually evil?? This one seems less likely, but it would be cool.

Still seems pretty unlikely, and I definitely don’t WANT it to be the case.

The post-Scratch players will follow in the trolls’ footsteps and prototype something they really shouldn’t have. That or, in an ironic twist of fate, their session’s Jack Noir will be a good guy who will help take down Bec Noir.

Could happen, but we haven’t gotten there yet. Act 6 Act 1 didn’t make quite the progress of Act 1.

We will see the session that created the trolls’, and it will have some role to play in solving the mysteries of the game’s origins. Lord English will somehow be involved with the origin of the game. Is he a corrupted game element? A virus? Did he create it? Was it his session that spawned the trolls’?

Another possibility for UU’s origins, although it would make more sense if she had come from whatever future session this Sburb session spawns. UU mentions not having entered her game yet, so it seems unlikely she’d have knowledge of the post-Scratch trolls’ session if that’s the one she’s creating. And she can’t be from the post-Scratch troll session... right? But she’s definitely a troll, so... @_@

That’s all I’ve got on predictions! I don’t think I have anything to add just yet that wasn’t covered in that recap, except that the auto responder was totally unexpected, and I can see it causing problems in the future somehow. UU too! What a mystery.

As for the structure of the story itself, I’m enjoying that we’ve returned to an Act 1 structure without it feeling like too much of a rehash. Even though the characters are LITERALLY recycled, things feel fresh and new, and I’m interested to learn more about them. It’s a little frustrating how long it’s taking them to get into the game—not that it’s poorly paced; just that Act 1 was rather rushed in comparison, and I’m dreading a Hivebent-style ‘HERE TAKE 1000 PAGES JUST TO MEET THESE CHARACTERS BEFORE THEY EVEN ENTER THE GAME’ kind of thing.

Shipping:

Despite being such a short Act like Act 1, there was a lot in the way of shipping material. Maybe this is because the kids are a bit older this time around and more caught up in the throes of raging teenage hormones. We have a clear ‘shipping grid’ for these so-called Alpha Kids, because we know who their ectobiological offspring are, but so far they don’t seem to be strictly following it. Jane clearly has a crush on Jake, but so does LittleLonde, and there have been some very strong hints that young Bro does too. LittleLonde didn’t rule out having a crush on Bro, but she seemed to indicate there was nothing going on there. Are we totally going to subvert everything, for the lulz? Will we wind up with Jane/LittleLonde and Jake/Bro?

A shipping section wouldn’t be complete without my own preferences, so here’s what I’m feeling, based on my limited exposure to the kids:

Jane♥Jake: This one’s not only “”canonical,”” but Jane expresses an overt attraction to Jake that he doesn’t exactly seem to mind. Neither does he express clear support for the idea, but hey, I can still ship it.

Bro♠Jake: Bro totally has a thing for Jake, if you ask me. However, he also built the guy a robot that apparently beats the shit out of him on the regular. CLEARLY we have a kismesissitude on our hands. Part of my interpretation of blackrom is harassing your kismesis to be on your level of awesome, as Bro harasses Jake:

GG: Why not just turn [the auto responder] off then? TT: Keeps them both on their toes. GG: Who? TT: Jake and the responder. TT: Jake needs to be more skeptical. Rather than take a Pollyanna jackknife ass-first off whatever turnip truck is blowing through town that day, he's got to apply more critical reasoning to shit. TT: I keep telling him. TT: I keep telling him, dude, you got to be more like Jane.

The brobot could be part of that, too. And there you have it! >:D

LittleLonde♥Everyone (including me): Because obvs she’s too good for this world and deserves everything she ever wanted. She can romance all three other kids to her heart’s content, then come see me when she’s at least 18 and also a real person.

Favorite Panels:

There aren’t a lot of visually stunning panels in an Act so short and mundane, but there are certainly several that made me go ‘dawwwww’.

LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE SHE IS. JUST LOOK AT HER.

Ahahahaha.

Who is this cute robot kid? Is he another violent creation of Bro’s? What’s he doing creeping around in the bathroom while Bro is showering? Who knows!

As sad and frightening as this panel is, it is pretty aesthetically pleasing. The colors of the flowers remind me of images of Rangwali Holi.

Another great image. I love the use of the background image here, far less grating than Hussie’s study, and the beams of light coming through the forest canopy.

Creepy as all shit, but I like the way the robot’s shades stand out against the dark background.

The absolute unexplained ABSURDITY of Jake’s island being populated by lususes (...lusii?) aside, I love the perspective of this panel and how it so easily demonstrates how weird and wild Jake’s life must be.

This image of Houston is so different from the red-hot hellhole Dave’s seemed to be! I love the color of the autumn sky, and the wheeling gulls.

I can hear the cartoon ‘droop’ sound effect in my head. I’m sure you know the one.

So dynamic!!

I LOVE SCRIBBLE MODE SO MUCH.

Alright, I’ll admit this one’s pretty badass.

Favorite Pesterlogs:

Aside from EVERY CHAT WITH LITTLELONDE, there were a few standout bits and bobs, as usual.

It’s questionable phrasing (which seems to come up a lot), but the juxtaposition of archaic propriety with ‘devilfucking dickens’ just SLAYS me:

GT: Jane! GT: Forgive my botherations. I know this is meant to be a spanking ripsnorter of a day for you and all. GT: But do you happen to know where the devilfucking dickens mr strider might be?

I like this first conversation with Miss Mystery not only for the call back to Karkat’s first convo with Jade, but also because it’s sort of a guarantee, no matter how spurious, of a happy ending:

UU: good morning, lovely. ^u^ GG: Why, hellooooooo. UU: so i gUess today is finally the day yoU make everything better. GG: :B! UU: it is the day whereafter the legendary octet of mUtUal progenitoriety will come together and heal a great breach in paradox space. UU: a day delivered throUgh eighty billion years and foUr distinct Universal instances worth of Unfathomable tUrbUlence. UU: and while the emerald eye of this storm is fixed in the abyss forever UU: today yoU are poised to escape its scowl once and for all. UU: by skaias gUiding light, yoU may leave behind its tUrning arms of bright coloUrs and mayhem, and secUre peace for yoUr cosmic progeny for all dUration.

I don’t think these LittleLonde snippets really even need qualifying:

GG: Where have you been today? TG: nowhere just chilling here TG: when all of the sudden GG: "All of a sudden." TG: when all of the sudden TG: it hits me

TG: i just wanted your advice on what to get him TG: something sentimental i guess? but i mean im mostly tapped out of precious heirlooms atm so idk TG: but not like anything coming on too strong TG: something that says TG: this is totes platonic and everything TG: no eyebrow raising funnybiz is goin on over here TG: but still says you know TG: call me TG: if you wanna

TG: well shit jane TG: what am i even supposed to do TG: i cant hit on anybody and appaprently i can entertain nary a frisky THOUGHT about anyboby because apparentley evrybodies OFF LIMITS!!!!! TG: *buncha goddamn typos

TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk GG: Oh. TG: like by wich i mean not to say hur hur im hottest shit haxxor bitch you ever knew TG: as deadlay to the corporate grid ass she is beatuiful TG: which i AM but TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured TG: and i took them TG: jacked them right offa that intraweb telematrice TG: then applied lipstick TG: femme fatale style TG: and was like shit yes i ALL KINDS of know how to use my web browser to download serveral files

UGH UGH UGH I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

GG: IT'S UP. GG: IT'S UP, IT'S UP, IT'S UP. TG: i dont get a lotta mail out here and im no mail expret TG: *expert TG: but TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass

I love the way UU just casually drops this bomb before signing off all cute-like:

GT: Just please tell me in the least causally spoilery way possible... GT: What are we even trying to accomplish here? What is even the rootin tootin POINT of this game? UU: i think yoU will have more fUn than yoU can imagine finding oUt. UU: bUt stated concisely, and short of spoilerly as yoU so charmingly pUt it, UU: yoUr objective today is to pave the way for the arrival of gods. UU: <kisses!>

As much as Bro/the auto responder is a bit of a creep, I can’t help but find this conversation funny due to Jake’s desperate, passive-aggressive pandering, and the responder’s blatant come-ons:

GT: Bro. GT: Ahem. GT: Are you there? GT: I hate to be a pest about this and i know ive made a hearty trouble of myself a good deal lately... TT: State your business, Jake. GT: I should preface this request with an overture of appreciation. GT: For how much your cool and brotherly friendship means to me. GT: It has just been... GT: Absolutely *bully* having a standup gent like you in my corner. GT: Just a grade a dude whos a cut above the others in class and camaraderie. GT: Phew... *gropes for fresh kerchief.* GT: I hope this shit isnt coming across as platitudinous. I really mean it! TT: Take it easy, bromide. TT: Just about the only way I could salvage endearment from this perilous slope of horseshit would be to discover, really fucking soon mind you, it was a preamble to some floundering invitation for me to rush to your vicinity as nakedly as possible. TT: But since we've already shot that wad's eventuality on so many dry runs of flustered ambivalence that were as hilarious as they were one sided, TT: That leaves only one hope for this message to avoid spiraling toward qualification as a critical fucking defect in the hull of the Mach 10 rocket that is my precious spare time. TT: And that hope lies in the extent to which you were practicing artful insincerity. TT: Now's your opportunity to pretend that's what you were gunning for. I suggest you seize it. GT: I... GT: Oh. Yes! But of course. GT: The ironies! GT: Good grief how i was bandying them just now. You know me dude. GT: *Blows smoke off red hot irony pistol.

Aaaand the veneer wears off:

TT: If you were half-assing this project and made some slovenly plea for it, I'd just say, fuck it, here's a lot of green rocks dude, go nuts. GT: Ok then! Im halfassing it! GT: Look. See? Only a bisected bottom is present! Where is the other half you ask? GT: Why... it is nowhere to be found. I didnt use it! TT: Nope. Not buying it. TT: I know that every ounce of your premium behind can be accounted for in that rabbit, and there's no goddamned denying it. TT: And you know perfectly well where some more uranium can be located. GT: Jesus christmas you are such a fucking douche.

:P

TT: Look at that statement you just made. TT: It's time for me to respond with some words, ideally chosen and arranged in a way that will wreck your shit, in a subtle and psychologically devastating way. GT: Har har har! GT: Just soooo "*irooooonic*!!!" Quotes quotes quotes. GT: Im laughing my caboose STRAIGHT OFF THE TRACKS! A lot of families just died in the tragic derailment. TT: Ok, the caboose remark was actually pretty funny, Jake.

I agree!

GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers! TT: It seems you have asked about DS's chat client auto-responder. This is an application designed to simulate DS's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 93% indistinguishable from DS's native neurological responses, based on some statistical analysis I basically just pulled out of my ass right now. GT: Gee dude you sure typed that exact same thing pretty fast. GT: Are you still fucking with me?? TT: It could be a coincidence that I typed the same answer. GT: You always type that answer!!!!! TT: It could be a coincidence that I always type the same answer. GT: Uuuuuuugh. GT: I cant stand this. Every time we do this and i just wind up whistling sweet dixie out of my bum hole!

And speaking of which:

TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. GT: I do! GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome.

MORE ADORALONDE:

TG: holy shit jaaaje TG: lol *k GT: Heh heh. GT: Howdy! GT: What is all this commotion about? TG: nothin TG: just your basic run o the mill holy shit TG: and also TG: hi

TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen TG: * horbible TG: * whore bible TG: ^ bullseye

GT: I was actually just getting all of my final affairs in order when you messaged me. GT: I was to bequeath to you all my WAB posters. TG: wab wut GT: Weekend at bernies dammit!!!!!! TG: oh fuck yeay TG: im always in need of something to put under my cats shit box

Finally, this conversation between Jane and (gasp!) the real live Bro has a couple gems:

TT: And flaws aside, it's a legacy I'm proud to inherit. My duty isn't to appropriate his methods with absolute loyalty, but to apply reason and improve upon them. To leave my own mark. TT: To perfect the art of irony. TT: It's just like what you're doing with the work of your ancestor. You are striving to perfect his hokey vaudeville bullshit, or something. TT: You seek the Zen of a pie to the face. The Tao of falling the fuck down.

TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word. TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss. TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself. TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war. TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say. TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family. TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere. TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there. TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time. TT: Yeah. 

Favorite Flashes:

As much as I enjoyed the excitement/nostalgia feels of [S] Act 6 and Jane: Get mail, there’s just really something to be said for the satisfaction of seeing a brick joke come back in such spectacular fashion.

Favorite Music:

I’m not sure whether I’ve really got anything for this one or not! ‘Homestuck Anthem’ is amazing, but it’s not specific to Act 6, and I’ve reviewed it previously. Still, what a great use of a great song!

[chainspell]

Final Fantasy XV Impressions - Post Storyline. Spoilers.

It’s been ten years.

To start with, Final Fantasy XV is a game with a long history. For anyone keeping an eye on Square Enix after the release of Final Fantasy XII, they’ll surely remember the announcement of Final Fantasy XIII – and Final Fantasy Versus XIII – at E3 of 2006. While XIII was to be the next mainline in the series, most attention was focused on Versus XIII, which promised to be a darker Final Fantasy, led by Kingdom Hearts lead Tetsuya Nomura. 

I remember obsessing over mysterious Prince Noctis and his conjured weapons, beautiful Stella Nox Fleuret and the doomed love that I wrote about in fanfiction, the fantasy based on reality. The game as we know it was originally meant to be.

The game was announced too soon, periled by the struggles Final Fantasy XIII went through in its difficult development and the custom engine associated with it, and the failure of Final Fantasy XIV 1.0. It lurked quietly in the back of fans minds, before it was re-announced under Final Fantasy XV, under the leadership of Hajime Tabata. 

Square Enix states that the game has only been in development for four years, for Playstation 4. But the general public perception of this game has been ten years, and observations over what could have been and what is now are completely fair. This impressions is aware of the history of where the game comes from, what the inspiration was originally, and where we are now. There’s portions of this game that I feel are lifted from Versus XIII–so it’s unfair to think of this game as only XV, because it is Versus as well. 

This isn’t your traditional Final Fantasy game, but I cannot imagine it under any other moniker. 

The world that originally opens up to the player is massive and desolate, a Japanese vision of Americana scattered among beautiful landscapes. Outposts are plentiful, locations where you can pick up potions, quests and a bite to eat. The only major ‘city’ is Lestallum that generates its own power from a massive meteor, with quests, characters and shops galore. While in the open world, you will be alternating between Lestallum and Hammerhead as your main bases of operations. This is where Cindy–Cid’s granddaughter–can upgrade your main method of transportation, the Regalia (you can drive faster, repel demons, and even eventually fly with it). 

At the beginning, the story meanders along among the side quests and optional content that you can choose to indulge in or ignore. You can hunt rare monsters to grind your rank for more dangerous hunts, or race chocobos with your pals and change their colors. It’s oddly freeing, a strange contrast to Final Fantasy XIII, a game that kept you in hallway after hallway until it opened you up. 

It can be frustrating, however. Sometimes quests don’t work as they should, I had at least two glitch out on me and are still waiting to be able to turn in (one day…). Camera angles in open combat start running into their first problems here, where you are left clueless as to what’s going on as the camera rotates in bushes and trees or up against Noctis. It left me confused several times, as I couldn’t see what was happening, and my party members would fall around me. 

Combat is satisfying though it is simplistic. Holding down O to attack sounds simple, but weaving in dodging and parries and warp strikes–where you can rush to your enemy from a great distance for sometimes extra damage–is a great feeling. I enjoyed switching out between weapons mid combo or even going into the menu mid fight to min/max. Your allies can do specialized attacks once their bar is filled, which you can customize at will for what they will do–as long as you have the points to dump to give them it. Gladio tends to specialize in major attacks and damage, Ignis buffs Noctis or heals (along with a few elemental tricks), and Prompto has some good utility along with a few ranged damage options.You, as Noctis, have your own limit breaks of sorts, called the Armiger bar, which gives you increased damage and attack speed and lets you use the weapons of your forefathers (and mothers…) without worry. Using these otherwise does drain your HP per hit, but some strategic potion chugging can make it a minimal issue. 

Which is one of the three issues I have with the combat. Without a dedicated healer in the party, Final Fantasy XV falls into the same pitfalls many other RPGs fall into these days: chug your potions. The game’s AI for Gladio, Ignis and Prompto makes it especially annoying, as occasionally you’re opening up the menu every couple of seconds. I’d leave them on the ground if it wasn’t for the fact that they won’t gain experience otherwise. 

One other is the magic system. You gather three elements–fire, ice and lightning–out in the overworld and combine it together  however you want in flasks with other random items with great results. There’s options to have it cast multiple times per use, to heal you once cast, or even give a boost to EXP. It’s an interesting way to approach magic and its impressive when thrown down on the battlefield with devastating affect–though it will hurt you and your allies as well, compounding into some frantic potion chugging on occasion. 

Finally, the summon system in the game is at random and you have to have very particular scenarios to summon them. While it makes sense in the terms of the game’s lore–you gain their favor and plead for their aid–it would be nice to have some ways to summon them at will, even if there was extreme limitations to the options to summon. 

But, the game is gorgeous, especially when wandering and fighting. Square wasted no effort in making the game look gorgeous, day or night, rain or shine. However, this is what you would expect from a Square Enix game. Water does look odd at times, and some of the anti-aliasing can be distracting. The occasional dungeon can feel bare but makes sense contextually. NPCs will look odd–especially if they’re not major–but major characters are well modeled and have unique movements and feel like real people in their actions. 

Not always in their personalities, however. The characters in the game–outside of main four–feel shallow. Cor, an ally of your deceased father’s, is there to test your strength and show you how to earn your forefather’s weapons before falling into obscurity. Cindy likes working on cars and is there for sex appeal. Iris, Gladio’s younger sister, is there to fill the cute girl archetype that Final Fantasy has used for years.

Lunafreya, though the developers assured players was a major, strong character, doesn’t have much to back it up. There’s a lot of talking about what she has done but very little showing what she has done, though its arguable that for the early portions of the game–and maybe even later–she would be more powerful than Noctis. She’s a major foil to him and feels like she is there for his development rather than her own. Her shining moment in the game is then cut by her death scene, which is served to be more development for Noctis, though the cutscenes with her in them are some of the most beautiful and touching in the game. 

I rooted for her and Noctis, even if she felt like a throwaway to the game’s main story. 

This is the same for major characters on the empire’s side, as well. Lunafreya’s brother has very little screentime and most of what we know of him is told through dialogue instead of actually shown, leaving little impact for his later redemption scene. The commander and emperor have next to little screentime. 

The shining factors for the empire are Aranea, a dragoon mercenary who has no real master besides gil, and Ardyn Izunia–the main villain. Even then, the can feel somewhat one note.

Noctis, Prompto, Ignis and Gladio are all well developed and act much like real people would. They have random conversations while traversing the world and react to story beats and what happens around them. You end up genuinely caring for them and even becoming frustrated with them, as friends would. There is a benefit to the smaller party size–the playable cast is probably the best developed I’ve seen from a Final Fantasy game, though I hope there is more diversity and slightly bigger party sizes in the future. 

Storybeats are odd, though the story is typical and tends to play upon this. After spending the first several chapters of the game in a massive open worlds, you are then taken to Altissa–the only major city in the game–and it becomes an ‘on rails’ experience after that. It works, strangely enough, and you are able to go back to the open world through a time travel mechanic at rest areas that aren’t campsites. The best parts of the story–the later parts of Chapter 9, 10, 11, and 12, are part of this ‘on rails’ experience–and are (mostly) well told and invoke some genuine emotions, while the fights and set pieces are impressive but make me wishing I could see more of Tenebrae and the Imperial City, especially after having so much freedom in the early game. 

While these chapters are strong, there are portions that don’t make sense. The story likes to fill you in on what happened through side text and loading screens–not effective story telling methods, and a lot of telling and not showing. A throwaway mention to a concept in earlier chapters–like a Stitch in Time to switch places with another person–would do wonders to the entire game’s story, which is already shockingly short for a Final Fantasy game. 

And then there is Chapter 13. Chapter 13 is mostly there for padding in a storyline that barely clocks in at 20 hours, a sequence that should have lasted 30 minutes or been forgivable if this was 30+ hour game. In total, the entirety of Chapter 13 lasts for around 2 to 3 hours, and mainly comprises of you wandering around with a ring that can only use three spells and then your father’s sword as a bonus later. When I finally reunited with the rest of my party–I was happy to see them–but not really because I missed them, but because I hated the entire sequence. 

I ranted about this before, but I feel like it was insulting to the players and to the game itself. It was a clear attempt to pad the storyline instead of trying to embrace the more compact story that was presented to us. The feedback on this has been unanimous, and I hope that Square Enix avoids this in the future. 

The ending of the game is strong–I cried over Noctis and his friends, and him reuniting with Lunafreya in the afterlife. The changing of the logo after beating the game now ranks high in my memories of the series. Though like the rest of it, the boss fights don’t necessarily feel memorable. Nothing felt really hard in the story of the game, and I wouldn’t consider myself overlevelled. Major boss fights in the story often gave you ‘god mode’ which makes you feel overpowered–as it should–but then understates what exactly you are fighting against. The game would really benefit from a hard mode, or a bit of higher tuning on the difficulty, because I only got the Game Over once in my entire play-through and that’s because I went AFK and some imperials showed up. 

There is more to do outside of the story than in the story, which while is great, it makes it so obvious what their resources went into. It feels like Tabata and staff wanted to please everyone with a little bit of everything–and while the post game is strong and varied, it makes me also look at the story and wish it was a bit longer, with more of the impact that I remember from the other games. A bit more development into the characters and the world, which would have taken up maybe about 5 more hours of playtime, would have gone a long way. People will not remember this game for its story–instead of maybe its final moments–but for the open world experience, which is an odd thing to consider in a modern Final Fantasy game.

Final Fantasy XV is a good game. It borders on great, and will probably grow on me as time goes on. However, it does feel a bit lost. There is so much of everything, that what I feel should have been the focus–the story–was discarded for optional content. I long and will always long for ‘what could have been’ in the story, for better development, and for better treatment of its women characters. 

Lunafreya, Iris, Aranea, Gentiana all had potential to be great with more time and care. So did Cor, Talcott, and Jared. Or the emperor, or Ravus. There was so much focus on the main four–and while it’s great–everyone else doesn’t feel memorable, though Square has done this before. I hope they invest more time in the future with their stories and take a few hints from Final Fantasy XIV, which has one of the best written stories in the series (post 2.3) in years. 

It feels like a good foundation for whatever comes next.

[nora-reads-homestuck]

Act 4: Impressions

Holy pipin’ hot fucksticks, what a goddamn doozy of an act! Dream selves, ectobiology, the trolls, the Reckoning... A hell of a lot happened this time around. Here are my after-the-fact thoughts on what I saw and read, as promised!

Also, don’t forget to vote on which Act 5 flashes you’d like to hear me react to, if you haven’t already! Voting ends tomorrow at 6pm CST.

The Characters:

This was a GREAT act in terms of characterization. We saw our four heroes interacting with the trolls a lot more, many of whom they’d never previously spoken to. Without an established friendship to color their interactions, we saw how they dealt with new personalities, and blatant (or not so blatant) hostility directed their way.

John: 

John... I wouldn’t say he stagnated this act, but I feel like we learned more about him in previous acts. Now that he seems to have come to terms with the revelations afforded to him by Dad’s room and the scribbles on his walls, I’m not sure where he’s supposed to go next. My analysis of his character arc path was that he needed to grow up a bit; taste the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, so to speak. But I’m not sure he’s done all that much growing. He proved he can be a horrible judge of character when he let GC trick him into skipping merrily to his own death, and then pointlessly doubted Davesprite’s desperate pleas to get him to stop. I don’t want his trust in others to be damaged, but I feel like he’s still got some learning to do on where to place that trust.

That’s not to say that he’s been boring! Exploring LoWaS, LoLaR and the ectobiology lab were all a lot of fun! I just don’t know whether he was impacted much by it. Since Karkat intimated he was the leader of their session, I still think that maybe John’s headed that way, too. Hopefully there’s still some sort of test ahead of him that will temper him a bit and help him step into the role.

Rose:

Rose, Rose, quite contrary. Like Dave, Rose seems to grow ever more bent on denying who she is at heart. Giving the impression that she hates wizards, only to reveal that she really does like them (except she can’t appear too serious about it!!), pretending she was indifferent about Jaspers, only to admit that she’d truly missed him... She doesn’t want to let things affect her, doesn’t want to appear weak or vulnerable, so she doesn’t commit to owning her emotions or her interests. Her land, LoLaR, is a gorgeous, pastel wonderland. It seems so VERY different from her established personality, clearly reinforcing the idea that the land is meant to challenge the player. But in true Rose fashion, she’s fighting it all the way. She alchemized a gothy dress and dark magic wands, using them to great effect (which is REALLY making me wonder whether the whole Prospit/Derse dreamer thing has to do with purity vs corruptibility. Hope the Furthest Ring gods don’t turn out to be evil...).

To me, all of this screams PROBLEMS WITH AUTHORITY. She refuses to let the game tell her what to do, refuses to challenge herself. She’s probably afraid of what she’ll find if she does.

And what would she find? That she’s weaker than she lets on? That she is, in fact, a thirteen-year-old girl who has no idea what she’s doing?? Admitting those things can be hard, but I believe it’d be good for her. Once again, I think her character arc is telling her to slow down, to let herself be the barely-teenage child she is, to let herself FEEL, and not try to... to... to BOTTLE IT ALL UP. HAH. Literally just made that connection, but it fits perfectly.

Break the bottle, Rose. Let yourself be who you really are. BECOME THE PASTEL PRINCESS.

Dave:

Dave saw a lot of fleshing out this time around. We’ve always known that the cool guy stoic hipster facade was just that, and that underneath he’s a good kid who really does care about his friends. But Act 4 really cemented it. I’d like to point specifically to Dave’s letter to John, the one that made him reconsider going through the gate, and Davesprite. Davesprite EXISTS because Dave is a good friend.

It’s also my belief that Davesprite exists because Dave is afraid to die. When faced with his own splinter timeline corpse, he dumped it out the window so that 'Jade' wouldn’t have to see it. According to GC, he stood there looking at the blood on his hands for a whole ten minutes. He accepts her offer to help him avoid creating more dead splinter Daves without hesitation. His mortality scares him to the point that he will trust a stranger—or jump into an unprototyped sprite—to avoid it.

Now that Dave is actually in the game proper, and going through his first gate, it’ll be interesting to see how he does. He’s so thoroughly wrapped up in becoming his ideal of Bro that it’s hard to imagine what he’ll do without Bro’s influence. It’s like a vine that grew up a trellis, and suddenly the trellis is pulled away. Will he spread his wings as John suggested, or will he shut down, crushed by the pressure?? When he was talking to GC just before the end of the act, she mentioned Bro chopping the meteor in half to buy him time, and Dave seemed embarrassed. From what I know of Dave and Bro, it’s pretty clear to me that he will never live to up that ideal. Either he’ll learn to live with that, or he’ll overcompensate with the facade to the point that he’ll destroy himself.

VERY much looking forward to seeing him get to Sburb’s nitty gritty.

Jade:

To be honest, I feel like she’s the least developed of the characters. That’s not to say that she hasn’t made progress on her character arc! On the contrary, the fact that her dream self is awake seems to indicate that she’s already well on her way to facing and dealing with the obstacles she must overcome. But I do feel like she’s the least developed to the readers. We honestly don’t know all that much about her. Like, what was it like for her living alone on a Pacific island after Grandpa died?? Was it hard for her? If it was, it seems she’s already gotten over it. Or, how long has her dream self been awake and aware?? These are things I’m afraid we’ll never see answered, because Jade’s already dealt with them offscreen. It’s kind of a bummer!

On the other hand, what we HAVE seen of her paints her as energetic, a little impatient, and highly resourceful. All the upgrades she applied to Dave’s alchemiter were useful and clever. Her deft management of all the complicated time loops she orchestrated was as masterful as you’d expect from a Time player. And she’s definitely heroic—the way her dream self saved John at her own expense was both heartwarming and heartrending. (I have a toasty, broken heart, yo).

Her interaction with the trolls seems kind of hot and cold. She was clearly frustrated and upset when she talked to Karkat in Act 3, but then she told AT she thought Karkat wasn’t so bad, and gave him the benefit of the doubt that he was having a bad day. She seemed to get along well with AT, too.

I guess only time (or Space?) will tell, in the end.

The trolls:

We’ve certainly seen a lot more of them in this act than in previous acts. While I’ve still yet to get a proper introduction to any of them, I know enough about them that I can extrapolate some very basic character portraits.

Karkat is clearly a Jerk with a Heart of Gold. Considering he’s the leader of his session, I imagine he was something like a mother hen, worrying about what everybody else was doing and harassing them into taking care of themselves and shaping up.

AT seems to be a pretty anxious guy. His typing style is halting, he’s easily flustered, and he folded quickly under counter-trolling pressure. He also gives the impression of being pretty nice, trolling aside. Maybe he’s some sort of like... tragic weakling, a la George McFly.

GC is... unpredictable. She got John killed, but then seemed genuinely remorseful (if only a little bit). She’s said some disturbingly violent things to Dave, but has now determined to help him progress through the game. And I’m not sure what to make of her and Karkat’s slap fight except they’ve CLEARLY got a thing for each other. (That, or she’s just goading him because she knows he’s got a thing for her.) I don’t feel like I can read her very well, so I’m interested to learn more about her.

GA is either a perfect match for Rose, or her snarkiness will combine with Rose’s snarkiness and they’ll snipe each other to death. As I said, I feel like Rose needs to do some opening up, and I’m not sure passive-aggressive hardcore flirting is the best way for that to happen. All I really know about GA beyond her snarkiness is that she’s apparently not that great with computers. Looking forward to learning more!

Guardians and Exiles:

I still know almost nothing about the guardians’ personalities, although with the ectobiology update, I know more about their histories. They all seem to be in on this game somehow, with the possible exception of Bro. That makes sense, considering that although they’re not players, they were created by the game. They can’t have been responsible for making it, because it exists independently on the trolls’ planet, but it seems clear that SkaiaNet is responsible for distributing it. That fits the pattern of stable time loops setting it up so that the 8 ecto-clones are responsible for their own creation.

Do they make a WV plush? Because if they do, GIMME. I WILL LOVE IT AND NEVER LET IT GO. I’d already seen some of the things he drew in the capsule come to pass, but knowing exactly what it was that made him hate kings and love democracy was HEARTBREAKING. I’m not sure what more this game has in store for him, but I hope beyond hope he gets a happy ending.

Poor, poor PM. She’s caught up in something far bigger than herself, tugged back and forth by different forces, and all because of the goddamn MAIL. I really hope that whatever’s in the green package is worth it, when John finally gets it. Never mind! Yep, it was!

I feel like I’ve yet to figure out Jack Noir’s motivations. He killed the Black Queen, sure. He hated her. He’s programmed to hate her. He killed the Black King for power. That much was clear when he took the crown. But what’s up with slaughtering everybody on the battlefield, without regard for what side they’re on?? Does he hate everyone, regardless of kingdom, and want them all to die?? Is he killing for sport? For fun? For the evulz??

The Story:

Things have gotten more and more complex, with new mechanics introduced, the kids entering their lands (with the exception of Jade), and ectobiology (GOD DAMMIT). But at the same time, a lot of questions raised in the previous acts have been answered! Everything is starting to come together in a way that suggests some sort of epic climax, wherein we learn how everything went wrong and the trolls’ session was doomed.

I’ve mentioned a few times how I’ve got a huge boner for time travel, and this story certainly delivers! Not only are stable time loops and paradoxes integral to the plot—getting John his gift, WV his cable, PM her safety from AR’s rockets, etc—but time travel paradoxes are LITERALLY responsible for every main character’s existence! DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING COOL THAT IS???

It’s SO COOL. The answer is SO COOL.

And the mythology, goooosh. I still don’t feel like I’ve had a major payoff on all the mythological gods/Denizens thing, but I feel like it’s coming. But aside from references to established Earth mythology, the mythology of the game itself is FASCINATING. Who built the frog temple? What is its purpose? What exactly do frogs symbolize? Who created this game in the first place, and why?? All interesting questions that may or may not be answered, but are fun to think about.

One thing I’m especially looking forward to getting clarification on is the in-game classes and aspects. Not only does everyone have an ‘element’, but they also have a ‘role’ to go with it. And from what we know of the troll session, classes and aspects are mix and match. In what way does a Knight of Blood differ from a Knight of Time? Or, how does a Maid of Time differ from a Knight of Time?? Same element there, but perhaps they exploit that element in different ways. And I imagine that the class a character ends up with also has to do with their character arc and personal growth in the same way their lands do! For example, we have the short-sighted Rose as a Seer. Obviously that’s meant to challenge her. And Dave, as the Knight, has to learn to be strong and independent and brave when he might not want to be.

Another thing that I’d learned but promptly forgotten again was what GC told Rose about the Exiles: that they’re meant to repopulate the planet, and in however many millions or billions of years, the planet might be ripe to play the game all over again. The (chronologically) first time we see Earth, it’s when the frog temple/Bec’s meteor lands, back when everything is still volcano-y. In fact, you know what it looks a lot like...??? EARTH 413 POST SBURB. Could it be that there was already a session played on Earth, prior to the dinosaurs? Or, if that doesn’t jive, geologically speaking... Will we ever see another Sburb session on Earth?? I mean I doubt it, given who our main characters are. But it’s a fun thought.

Shipping:

Fuckin’...

Man, you know what this section’s gonna be about.

I still have a lot of ship feels! In particular, Rose/GA sounds amazing, as do John/Karkat and Dave (or Davesprite)/GC! But Dave/Rose was my favorite one to think about, and now that’s gone.

IDK, there was a hell of a lot of shipping in this Act. Dad/Mom may be the only ‘confirmed’ ship, but as of now I am definitely still gunning for Rose/GA, John/Karkat and Dave/GC. Since we don’t know a lot about the trolls YET, but I know we learn a lot more about them later, I’m guessing that’s coming up in Act 5. So that’s definitely something I’m looking forward to! Yay, a whole 8 more people to ship in various permutations!! :D

Favorite Panels:

Aside from being a pretty panel, landscape-wise, this one also just makes me smile. :)

Those two panels of the Land of Light and Rain are just LOVELY. I am a huge fan of all those pastel colors, especially against that white sand.

Seizure-inducing, but beautiful, as are most panels depicting LoLaR. The kitty-shaped shadow is a nice touch.

Just an awesome panel, in terms of action, composition, and color. It’s in a slightly different, more Hussie-ish style, which is rare but nice.

Yet another LoLaR panel. The true impact behind this one is the composition paired with the caption. Rose is in a new land, with no idea where her mother has gone. She’s lost without a guide. And yet as the readers, we've seen that Mom knows far more about the game than she’s let on. Whatever Mom has gone to do, it’s in service of helping Rose survive. A necessary sacrifice.

Dave is making an expression! Plus, the perspective is just so dynamic.

Great action, great composition, great smoke effects!

This panel legit made me cry. Even with the ridiculous Unsound Effect. The power of friendship prevails, in one simple image.

This one didn’t make me cry, but it did make me accidentally inhale Gatorade and choke.

This panel is just fucking COOL. I LOVE the background, and the depth between the foreground Underlings and Rose unleashing devastation. The motion aspect of this panel works great, too.

Like I mentioned earlier, this one is just really neat in that it’s pretty convincingly dusty sand blowing over hard, parched earth underneath. I wonder if Hussie was looking at references of desert and craters when he was drawing this panel.

Favorite Pesterlogs:

A lot of the ultra-hilarious Pesterlog material seems to have given way to people actually talking about plot-relevant shit, instead of just snarking at one another, but there were a few pretty damn hilarious ones still scattered in there.

Dave, as always, has some choice bits:

TG: look i was getting my ass handed to me by my bro on the roof for like an hour and a half TG: i got served like a dude on butler island

Butler Island needs to be a thing.

TG: how big is this thing GG: it is REALLY REALLY big TG: like the size of rhode island or texas or what TG: i need some context to know how much crap i should be shitting into my pants

I busted out laughing at that call back; as you’ve probably guessed, his original meteor-size spiel is one of my favorites.

It’s too much to bother and copy/paste, but every conversation between John and Karkat is GOLDEN. Despite how much both of them bitch about their nonlinear conversation pattern, it was fun as hell to watch John get progressively friendlier and Karkat more irately consternated. ...Consternated isn’t even a word, but it should be. Anyway, I’m much looking forward (as is John) to their very first conversation from Karkat’s perspective.

Speaking of John, he gets a rare zinger in his conversation with GC:

GC: JOHN 1TS M3 4G41N EB: who? EB: oh, that’s right… EB: the leetspeaking blind one. EB: go away! GC: JOHN DONT M4K3 FUN OF MY H4ND1C4P EB: which one, the blindness or the leetspeak.

Then the chat between Dave and GA regarding Rose is a priceless gem. Some highlights include:

GA: You Command The Seer GA: So You May Have Some Insight Into Her Disposition TG: who GA: The One Who Is A Little Snooty TG: oh yeah sure TG: i command her alright i am like the pimpmaster hustledaddy of all snippy bookshrews

GA: She And You Are Familiar Isnt That Right GA: She Perhaps Even Regards You With Uh GA: Endearment TG: you have no idea dude she is so in my grill TG: like a stray hotdog that rolled down there TG: and now its too much trouble to fish out with the tongs TG: so you just watch it like crack and turn black GA: Um Is This GA: A Common Sort Of Practice In Human Courtship GA: Watching Oblong Meat Products Tumble Into Places They Dont Belong

And this one between Rose and AT regarding Dave is similarly hilarious:

AT: yEAH, oK, gIVEN THAT, i HAVE A QUESTION, AT: aBOUT HIM, AT: i WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HIS EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITIES, AT: aND, uM, wHAT ARE THE TENDER SPOTS THAT ALL THOSE, uHHH, AT: dEVICES HE EMPLOYS TO CONCEAL THEM, uHH, lIKE ALL THE THINGS HE SAYS HE THINKS ARE FUNNY, TT: Tender spots? TT: Your word choices are evocative. TT: Is your design to couple with this gentleman? AT: wHOAAAAAAAA, nO, nO, wHOA, AT: oK, nO, tHAT JUST MADE ME FEEL UPSET TO THINK ABOUT,

TT: If you really want to burn him, I recommend poetry. AT: wHAT, pOETRY, aS IN LIKE THOSE HUMAN WORD BUNCHES, TT: Yes. They are the most delicious bunches we have. TT: I suggest you serve these crisp bunches of honey and verbal annihilation to him as part of a complete breakfast.

TT: I suppose what I’m saying is this. TT: Drop some hard, peer-reviewed motherfuckin’ science on his ass. TT: Some seriously government funded shit. TT: It will destroy him.

TT: Your obvious cunning with words should depants Strider with such vivid empyrean tempest, a nether-regional sonic boom is certain inevitability. TT: But even so. TT: Consider me at your disposal to help craft a comeuppance of such unqualified devastation, the angels will weep pearlstrings of little urban fellows cantillating an unbroken chorus of Oh Snaps.

Poor, easily flustered AT. Rose could probably fluster a fucking statue though, let’s be real. And I don’t want to c/p the whole thing, but AT’s eventual rap at Dave is similarly priceless for containing a whole shitload of accidental AT slip-ups. What a dope.

It’s not technically a Pesterlog, but a Spritelog, but Jaspersprite’s conversation with Rose was just fucking neat, in terms of artful, kitty metaphors, and divulging game info:

JASPERSPRITE: Rose im just a cat and i dont know much but i know that youre important and also you are what some people around here call the Seer of Light. JASPERSPRITE: And you dont know what that means but you will see its all tied together! JASPERSPRITE: All the life in the ocean and all the shiny rain and the songs in your head and the letters they make. JASPERSPRITE: A beam of light i think is like a drop of rain or a long piece of yarn that dances around when you play with it and make it look enticing! JASPERSPRITE: And the way that it shakes is the same as what makes notes in a song! JASPERSPRITE: And a song i think can be written down as letters. JASPERSPRITE: So if you play the right song and it makes all the right letters then those letters could be all the letters that make life possible. JASPERSPRITE: So all you have to do is wake up and learn to play the rain!

In terms of cluing us in to bits of the game, Jade had a lot of interesting Pesterlogs, like this one:

TT: If my dream self is asleep, does that mean she’s dreaming, and if she is, who’s dreaming the dream, her or me? GG: um……. GG: ok well i dont really know how to answer the second part but yeah shes dreaming! GG: shes most likely lying in your bed troubled and restless GG: about things burdening her GG: which is to say you!!!!! GG: things about who you really are and what your purpose is GG: but you cant start figuring those things out yet because youre not awake because youre not ready yet GG: thats why you have such terrible dreams all the time rose! TT: Ok. How do I wake up? GG: im sure it would help to start piecing together the clues to nudge your subconscious GG: or maybe face some things you havent faced yet? GG: i dunno! its for you to find out GG: maybe the stuff you wrote on your walls can give you a clue? TT: What stuff? GG: the…. GG: er GG: didnt dave tell you? TT: Tell me what? GG: ._. 

In the end though, I think the crown jewel was her letter to John, which was both informative and heartbreaking. :’(

The best Wham Line came in Dave and Rose’s bad future Pesterlog. And hey, lookie at that there page quote.

TG: thats it i cant take it anymore TG: it was such a huge mistake prototyping seppucrow with this useless mindnumbing jackass TG: im going back TT: Already? TG: what do you mean already shit took 4 goddamn months TG: or something TG: i dont know im kind of losing track of how long its been with all this time hopping TT: It just sounds like you're making a rash decision based on temporary aggravation with a laughing puppet. TT: I thought we planned to progress as far as we could before you went back. TT: To gather information, and avoid repeating mistakes. TG: what else is there to know TG: we lost TG: cant finish the game with a dead heir and witch TT: We don't know Jade is dead for sure. TG: yeah well she had a big fucking meteor bearing down on her and we never heard from her again TG: or the trolls for that matter TG: after they tricked john into skipping way ahead and getting his ass handed to him by the denizen TG: i guess once they managed to sabotage us they were done with us TG: and since john died he couldnt get jade in on time so whether shes alive or not shes as good as dead from our perspective TG: only thing left to do is change all that

Then this snippet between Dave and John after John’s reconsidering is particularly sweet:

TG: so you believe me then TG: about future me TG: and like TG: him turning into a floating sword bird EB: um… EB: ok, i don’t know anything about that… EB: but it doesn’t matter! EB: you’re my best bro, and if you say not to go then i won’t go.

Favorite Music:

My top choice has GOT to be Descend, from the eponymous flash. It’s so freaking cool the way the artist worked all the different themes into a medley, and yet made it work, and it’s just as cool how Hussie animated to it to make all the themes fit the action. (Or was it the other way around?)

Another really cool one was Doctor, from John’s LoWaS walkaround flash. It had a mellow, listenable sound while still being chiptune-y, and didn’t get annoying at all, despite the fact that I listened to it on repeat for an hour and a half. It sounds even better when it’s not a tinny flash version over laptop speakers!

Endless Climb and Atomyk Ebonpyre are both really cool. Despite having been written by different people in VERY different styles, I’m almost 100% certain you could play them over each other and they would align. Endless Climb in particular was very fitting for the style of the flash and Rose’s land. It’s almost like they’re twins or something. >:O

Octaroon Rangoon and Derse Dreamers were both great tracks from the Shut Up and Jam flash. Octaroon Rangoon in particular reminds me a lot of Japanese videogame music (I mean besides the obvious!) in that it’s really chaotic, dramatic, but still works and makes sense. Reminds me of Yasunori Mitsuda's style.

But the crowning jewel of the entire act has GOT to be How Do I Live (Bunny Back in the Box Version). I mean, how do you compete with such a fucking masterpiece????? The vocals are flawless. The guitar solo, a masterstroke. I’m not sure there will EVER be its like again, either within the comic or without. And if there is? I want to know.

Favorite Flashes:

The obvious choice here is [S] Descend, for reasons of sheer, unmitigated awesome!!! My detailed thoughts on in can be found in the audio reactions post, but suffice it to say I was scraping my jaw off the floor by the end of it The music, the visuals (including the fucking rad guest art), the way the action was timed to the beat... Just, god. Hussie at his (so far) best.

A very close second, however, is [S] WV: Rise up. It’s epic, it’s emotional, it has nice music, and great guest art.

[S] Jack: Ascend is also very cool, both in terms of action and advancing the plot.

[S] ==> Page 3307, with the introduction of LoLaR is really nice. The music and visuals work well together, and it gives me this weird sense of tranquil ennui to watch.

Phew. I’m REALLY tired today, so I think I’ll leave it here. But please, if there’s something you wish I’d covered, or if you have any questions about how I feel about so-and-so or such-and-such plot element drop me an ask! I am more than happy to chat. :>

Until next time! ^0^