Send “💔” to see how my muse is handling being broken up with by yours
It’s not like she hasn’t given her heart to someone before. But never has it ever hurt this much to hear the words that it’s over. Perhaps because they lacked a kindness the others in her past have held. Instead they were filled with animosity, his declaration of not feeling the same for her. That she was nothing more than a play thing to fill his time.
At work, with friends, in public she can easily play the part - the part of her heart not hurting in the slightest. She can laugh and smile as though he’s right ; what they had was nothing. She’s a master actress making anyone believe that she’s over it so fast. There is no second guessing behind anyone’s statements of her seeming so well.
She blocks it all out . Anything she feels for him is behind a wall built of the sturdiest of stones.
When Aislin is at home, her bag dropped at the door and her shoes are off ready to wind down for the night and out of sight of everyone that’s when everything changes.
Her wine glass barely touched - her favorite brand and blend sitting under darkness as she sits on her sofa, her legs tucked under her as though she’s hugging herself. Her head rests on her knees as she stares off the replay of everything in her mind.
Like a movie it plays out the good and the bad. She clutches herself tighter, bringing her face down against her knees.
Aislin doesn’t cry for anyone - let alone a man who went from being the one to make her happy to the one that took her heart and shattered it. But as she wonders if he’s feeling how she’s feeling or if he’s out there doing whatever with whoever it hits her. In the gut, in the heart and it hurts. It’s a kind of pain she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.
When she thinks to grab the glass she instead just holds herself tighter, lifting her head only to use the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the tears away. Her tongue to her lips tasting the salty tears that fall when no one else is looking.
It’s not every day you’d find the one you’d walk through fire for and she thought maybe this was going to be the real deal. The once in a life time love that you don’t find again no matter how hard you try or how many miles you travel.
Instead, it’s the love that leaves you hurting when you breathe.
And what makes it worse, she wonders if it was even love at all.
[x] this post is brought to you by : Mariah Carey’s “Breakdown”
