But how bad do you want it
Dear Diary,
I’m not the woman that’s shouting from the mountain top that I don’t need a man- because let’s be clear- I DO but what I don’t need is the extra bullshit that seems to come along with it.
I hate taking out the trash, I don’t know the first thing about changing a tire, I don’t want to go check to see what that weird noise was coming from downstairs at 4 am. I dont want to waste my good lingere just to go to bed alone.
I want stolen moments away from the kids. I want some strong arms holding me every night. HELL I WANT A HUSBAND!
But..
Relationships require a lot of work and often times a lot of compromising BUT I WILL NOT extend myself to a person whose only motive is to use me up until I have nothing left for myself. Just for them to walk away with ALL MY STUFF( if you saw “For Colored Girls” you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about)
I was raised in a two parent household. My parents have been married for almost 33 years. I saw the struggles of marriage but I NEVER say them crack under pressure or hard times. My parents are best friends. My father’s burdens are my mother’s and vice versa. There has NEVER been a time when infidelity was ever in question. My father never walked out on his family. He goes to work Faithfully. He takes care of his children, both who are grown. He loves my mother down. She loves my father down. And that’s EXACTLY what I want my children to see and know. They deserve that! I deserve that!
But then you have to look at the generation in which they were raised in…
Smdh
They don’t make men like that anymore…
I’m left with men who associate every woman with either being a THOT or a BadAss Bitch. I’m competing with women who are content with a man buying them bundles of hair and treating them to chipotle and being happy.
Relationships are now all about social status. Courting consists of getting Instagram likes and Twitter Dms or becoming somebody’s MCM Or WCW
I want the white picket fence. The Holiday Family Christmas Cards. The family vacations. Christmas Brunch. I want “just because” flowers every Tuesday. I want adult game nights with other couples. Got dammit I want a real date! I want phone calls during the day.
But does that mean I have to sacrifice it for being someone side woman? Does that mean I have to constantly be suspicious of whether the man I’m dealing with is on the DL? Does that mean I have to be “ok” with taking care of a grown ass man child? Because truth be told… I don’t think I could handle all of that..
But then the question still remains…
“But, How Bad do you want it?”
-Beautifully Flawed